How to Talk to ANYONE (Once You Know Their Color!) (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:00) There are four types of communicators (00:00:02) that every single person can be (00:00:04) categorized into. There are the reds who (00:00:07) are driven by power and results. The (00:00:10) greens who are driven by peace and (00:00:12) stability. The blues who are driven by (00:00:14) logic and structure and then the yellows (00:00:16) who are driven by fun and connection. (00:00:19) Understanding these four colors and (00:00:21) types of people has allowed me to form a (00:00:23) strong connection with 95% of the people (00:00:26) that I've met as an international (00:00:27) keynote speaker and communication coach, (00:00:30) even if we have nothing in common. In (00:00:33) this video, what you're going to learn (00:00:34) is, first of all, what color are you? (00:00:36) And the second thing, the problem each (00:00:38) color faces, and then the third thing (00:00:39) is, well, how do you talk to each of the (00:00:42) different colors? If you don't learn (00:00:44) this, you'll keep wondering why talking (00:00:46) to some people feels effortless while (00:00:48) talking to others feels impossible. But (00:00:50) imagine being able to walk into any room (00:00:52) and instantly get a read on someone to (00:00:55) know what drives them, what they are (00:00:57) afraid of, and how to speak their (00:01:00) language so that you can connect with (00:01:04) them. And it starts with firstly knowing (00:01:07) what color you are. I learned how to do (00:01:09) this with the color system created by (00:01:11) Thomas Ericson who wrote the book (00:01:12) Surrounded by Idiots. Now, this is an (00:01:14) amazing book. If you get the time, (00:01:16) definitely give it a read. It's awesome. (00:01:19) Now, the book suggests that you fall (00:01:21) into one of these four colors. And of (00:01:23) course, we are all a mix of all of the (00:01:25) colors, but we all have a default color (00:01:28) we tend to speak. As I talk through (00:01:30) these colors, I want you to think of the (00:01:32) one that you are, and then I want you to (00:01:34) think of which friend comes to mind for (00:01:36) the other colors. This makes remembering (00:01:38) all the colors really easy and sticky. (00:01:41) First, we have red. Now, reds are bold, (00:01:46) decisive, competitive, results driven, (00:01:48) and they're a little bit impatient. (00:01:50) Then, next we have the yellows. They are (00:01:53) social, enthusiastic, talkative, (00:01:54) creative, optimistic. Then, next we have (00:01:57) the greens. They are calm, supportive, (00:02:00) reliable. They don't like sudden (00:02:02) changes, and they're extremely patient. (00:02:04) Then, finally, we've got the blues. The (00:02:06) blues are precise, detailoriented, (00:02:09) they're cautious, they're critical (00:02:10) thinkers, and they're perfectionists. (00:02:12) Now, if you're still unsure at this (00:02:14) point which color you are, then I want (00:02:16) you to ask yourself these three (00:02:17) questions to better help you identify (00:02:19) which color you are. Question number (00:02:22) one, are you more introverted or (00:02:24) extroverted? If you're introverted, that (00:02:27) means you're either a blue or a green. (00:02:29) And if you're extroverted, that means (00:02:31) you're either a red or a yellow. Next (00:02:33) question. Am I more logical or (00:02:35) emotional? If you're more logical, then (00:02:38) that means you're either a green or a (00:02:40) red. And if you're more emotional, that (00:02:42) means you're either a blue or a yellow. (00:02:44) With these two questions already, you (00:02:45) should be able to know which color you (00:02:47) are. But you can ask a third question (00:02:49) just in case. And the third question is, (00:02:51) do I speak more deliberately or quickly? (00:02:54) Now, if you're more deliberate, that (00:02:56) means you're either a green or a blue. (00:02:58) And if you speak more quickly, then that (00:03:00) means you're a red or a yellow. And (00:03:02) through the process of elimination, (00:03:04) these questions are going to better to (00:03:06) help you work out which color you are. (00:03:08) Now, use me as an example as you take (00:03:10) these questions for a test run. Do I (00:03:12) seem more introverted or extroverted? (00:03:14) Ah, I'm extroverted. If you guessed (00:03:16) that, you got it right. Which means I'm (00:03:18) either a yellow or a red. Okay, so now (00:03:20) we go to the next question. Now, do you (00:03:22) think I'm a logical or am I an emotional (00:03:24) person? If you guessed emotional, you're (00:03:27) correct. Ding, ding, ding. Now, if I'm (00:03:29) emotional, that means I'm either a blue (00:03:31) or a yellow. So, which color am I? I'm a (00:03:34) yellow. And no, that's not because I'm (00:03:36) Asian. I'm yellow because of this color (00:03:37) profile. And after these two questions (00:03:40) alone, you should know what color you (00:03:41) are, too. But if you're still stuck and (00:03:43) you're a little bit unsure, you can do (00:03:45) one final check with that third (00:03:46) question. So, work out which one you (00:03:47) are, and then leave a comment below and (00:03:50) tell me what your color is. Now, this is (00:03:52) the core problem that we're addressing (00:03:53) here. Most people communicate in their (00:03:55) own color, assuming that everybody (00:03:58) around them communicates the same way. (00:04:00) When a red meets another red and they (00:04:01) communicate with each other, they get (00:04:03) along great. Whereas, when a red (00:04:04) speaking to a green or a blue or a (00:04:07) yellow, it feels frustrating. They (00:04:09) clash. They disconnect and then they (00:04:11) don't respond the way they expect. Let's (00:04:13) have a look at this situation here. (00:04:15) You've got two reds about to connect. (00:04:17) When you're a red, don't forget it means (00:04:19) you're direct, decisive, no fluff or (00:04:21) outcome. And when these two reds are (00:04:22) about to connect, watch what happens. (00:04:25) >> So, when are you handing in the project, (00:04:26) and what issues are you facing? (00:04:28) >> I'm going to hand it in today at 5:00 (00:04:30) p.m. And I'm facing three specific (00:04:32) problems. One, Peter's getting stuck in (00:04:34) the weeds with the details. Two, Craig's (00:04:36) being indecisive. And three, I love (00:04:39) these skits. They're fantastic for (00:04:40) YouTube engagement because it's what (00:04:42) makes the viewer like and subscribe. (00:04:45) >> God, I love talking to you. (00:04:47) >> God, I love talking to you, too. (00:04:51) Do you see that? When you communicate in (00:04:52) a direct and decisive way, reds will (00:04:55) love you because you're speaking their (00:04:57) language. But here's the trap. When you (00:05:00) speak to other colors, the blues and the (00:05:02) greens and the yellows, they won't (00:05:04) connect with you as much. They might (00:05:06) even think of you as someone who's cold, (00:05:08) abrasive, and maybe even a little scary. (00:05:11) Now, here's what happens when a red (00:05:13) speaks to a yellow, a blue, and a green. (00:05:16) Have a look at these situations. All (00:05:17) right, listen. And I don't have that (00:05:18) much time. I need to know what is our (00:05:21) current return on ad spend and what is (00:05:23) our net profit after OPEX. I have to (00:05:26) show you the ad before we get to any of (00:05:27) that because the ad we filmed was (00:05:29) hilarious. You're going to love it. You (00:05:30) know what? I'm not just going to show (00:05:31) you. Guys, guys, come in. Come in. Let's (00:05:34) all watch the ad together. We're all (00:05:35) going to watch the ad together. We'll (00:05:36) laugh together. Then we'll learn (00:05:38) together. Then we'll get to the data (00:05:40) that you want. And that's the very (00:05:42) important project. (00:05:43) >> H Vin, shouldn't we get everyone else's (00:05:46) opinion first? No need. I already (00:05:48) decided we're doing it. But uh what if (00:05:51) what if people don't like it? (00:05:52) >> What if people don't like it? Then (00:05:54) they'll get over it. Uh that doesn't (00:05:56) sound very harmonious. (00:05:57) >> Are you serious? Harmony is great, but (00:06:00) results are better. Morning, Pete. (00:06:02) >> Hey, Vin. I heard you went to the zoo on (00:06:04) the weekend. Tell me everything. (00:06:08) >> Productive. (00:06:09) >> Oh, okay. Productive. H how did the kids (00:06:12) enjoy the zoo? (00:06:13) >> Like I said, mission accomplished. (00:06:15) Animals were seen, snacks were consumed, (00:06:18) tantrums neutralized. It was an (00:06:20) efficient operation, (00:06:21) >> right? But did you enjoy it? Like, how (00:06:24) did it feel? (00:06:25) >> It felt done just like this (00:06:27) conversation. Do you see the problem? We (00:06:30) tend to default to our own communication (00:06:32) style and it works great, but only when (00:06:35) you are speaking to people just like (00:06:37) you. And everybody else, well, they just (00:06:40) tune out or worse, they judge you (00:06:42) wrongfully. Let me share with you how (00:06:44) the other colors view you. So, here we (00:06:46) have Andy. He's my head of marketing and (00:06:48) he's also a red. And filming this B-roll (00:06:51) for him is excruciating because he just (00:06:53) wants to get back to work and get (00:06:55) done. So, if you're like Andy and you (00:06:58) are also a red, you tend to overwhelm (00:07:00) others with your fast, direct, (00:07:02) outcomedriven style. You know, the (00:07:03) greens, they see you as someone who's (00:07:05) being pretty pushy. And the yellows, (00:07:07) they look at you as being someone who's (00:07:08) too serious. And the blues, well, they (00:07:10) think you are reckless with details. (00:07:12) Now, next on screen, we have a yellow, (00:07:15) who is me. And this is also the person (00:07:18) who came up with the idea for this (00:07:20) B-roll. And I love this. Look how look (00:07:22) how much fun I'm having. This is such a (00:07:24) great idea, Vin. You're a genius. And if (00:07:27) you're a yellow like me, you often lose (00:07:30) credibility because of your high energy. (00:07:32) Your ideaffilled communication style (00:07:34) often feels unfocused to reds, chaotic (00:07:37) to greens. A little too superficial for (00:07:40) the blues who crave detail. Loen, look. (00:07:43) Look on screen. Oh, that's our green. (00:07:45) Oh, that's Dan. Dan's our head of ops. (00:07:48) And you see Dan, he didn't want to do (00:07:50) this, but he's so non-confrontational (00:07:52) and he just loves to keep the peace that (00:07:54) he's doing it. That's why he looks so (00:07:57) awkward. I mean, look at him. Let's zoom (00:08:00) in a little. Look at him. Look how (00:08:02) awkward he looks right now. He does not (00:08:04) want to be here. My goodness. Let's zoom (00:08:06) in a little further. Ha. See how awkward (00:08:09) he is? He's so awkward. Now, if you're (00:08:11) like Dan, you tend to avoid and resist (00:08:14) conflict, which makes you seem (00:08:16) indecisive to reds, boring to yellows (00:08:18) who want more excitement, and (00:08:21) frustratingly non-committal to blues who (00:08:24) want specifics. Oh, and here we have our (00:08:27) beloved Smurf. Yep, that's a blue. Look (00:08:30) at him. He is so detailed. He scripted (00:08:34) out this entire video. wanted to get (00:08:36) everything optimal. But you know what, (00:08:38) Pete? I'm going to wing this next part, (00:08:40) mate. I'm going to bloody wing the (00:08:41) script. I don't even know what I'm going (00:08:42) to say right now. That's why I'm going (00:08:45) to now just talk for no reason. Huh? How (00:08:48) do you like that algorithm? Blue Pete, (00:08:51) how do you like that, Pete? What's (00:08:52) What's the algorithm going to do now? (00:08:53) Hey, let's zoom in to Pete. Let's zoom (00:08:55) into his nose. Closer. Closer. Look at (00:08:58) his nose. Look at that little cute nose. (00:09:00) Look at Let's zoom out a little bit. (00:09:01) Let's zoom out of something else. Let's (00:09:02) zoom out to his hands. See, he doesn't (00:09:03) even know where to put his hands. He has (00:09:05) no idea what he's going to do with his (00:09:06) hands. What are you doing with your own (00:09:07) feet? Awkward now. You meticulously (00:09:12) technical monster. If you're like Pete (00:09:14) and you're a blue, sometimes you overco (00:09:16) complicate things in life like a YouTube (00:09:18) video and you forget to have fun, right? (00:09:21) You have such a deep need for precision (00:09:23) and detail which feels too slow for (00:09:25) reds. It feels overly critical for (00:09:27) yellows and it feels really nitpicky to (00:09:30) greens who just want peace. That's why (00:09:33) mastering this isn't just about you (00:09:36) knowing your color. It's about you (00:09:38) learning to speak all the colors. And (00:09:41) this what I just shared with you right (00:09:42) now, this was a huge realization for me. (00:09:45) I'm a yellow. So naturally, I'm pretty (00:09:46) expressive, loud, and passionate. (00:09:48) Whereas my wife on the other hand, she's (00:09:50) a red. She's strong, decisive, and laser (00:09:53) focused on the results. And she values (00:09:55) clarity, efficiency, and moving things (00:09:57) forward. Not me pitching 12 brilliant (00:09:59) ideas to her before she's even finished (00:10:01) her morning coffee. Yeah, I can be a (00:10:04) little much. Now, here's where we used (00:10:06) to clash a lot. I would communicate (00:10:09) ideas fast, bouncing from idea to idea, (00:10:12) expecting her to just get on board. But (00:10:15) to her, it felt overwhelming and she'd (00:10:17) shut me down. Not because she didn't (00:10:19) care, not because she didn't love me, (00:10:22) but because I wasn't speaking in a way (00:10:24) that respected her direct, let's cut to (00:10:26) the chase style. I basically didn't (00:10:29) speak to her in her preferred (00:10:30) communication style, which is red. And (00:10:33) here's the lesson again. When you only (00:10:35) speak in your own color, you only truly (00:10:37) connect with people who are like you and (00:10:39) the same color as you. But not everyone (00:10:42) is you. Not everyone is the same color (00:10:44) as you. Now, I'm not telling you to (00:10:47) change the essence of who you are. I'm (00:10:49) telling you that if you want to be a (00:10:50) more effective communicator, you need to (00:10:52) learn how to adjust your delivery and (00:10:55) speak in their communication style so (00:10:58) that you can connect better with them. (00:11:00) Imagine for a second walking into work (00:11:02) tomorrow and talking to your boss, (00:11:04) quickly being able to identify what (00:11:06) color he or she is, then adjusting your (00:11:08) communication style to connect with them (00:11:10) better. What would that mean for you? (00:11:12) Does that mean you have to do it with (00:11:13) everyone? No. No. You just do this with (00:11:16) the people you truly want to connect (00:11:18) with. Let me quickly remind you. When (00:11:20) you meet somebody for the first time and (00:11:21) you want to identify what color they (00:11:23) are, you can ask yourself the same three (00:11:26) questions I shared earlier. I'll pop (00:11:28) them just over here for you, too. It's (00:11:29) such a cool, powerful little tool that I (00:11:32) have on the corner of my computer (00:11:34) screen. any call I get onto, I (00:11:36) immediately think of these three (00:11:38) questions to myself and I'm able to (00:11:40) slightly shift the way I communicate and (00:11:43) it helps me connect with people really (00:11:44) fast. You know, I was asked this (00:11:47) question at my recent workshop. (00:11:49) >> How do you not judge people? (00:11:53) >> I do. I do. I do. I'm I'm human, okay? (00:11:57) But I do it as little as I can. (00:12:00) >> Let's just piggyback off what I just (00:12:01) said there. You see, I still do judge (00:12:04) others. And I'm human just like you. But (00:12:07) the reason I'm more compassionate is (00:12:09) because I now understand that there are (00:12:11) four different colors. There are four (00:12:12) different types of human beings in this (00:12:14) life. And they speak different (00:12:15) languages. And by me understanding that (00:12:17) now more and more, I'm able to be more (00:12:20) empathetic. I'm able to be more (00:12:21) understanding. And I'm able to judge (00:12:24) people less. And you know what's even (00:12:26) cooler? I speak all four languages now. (00:12:30) I can speak red, yellow, green, blue. So (00:12:33) that means that when I meet you, (00:12:34) regardless of what color you are, I'm (00:12:36) going to be able to connect with you (00:12:37) more instead of judging you. So now the (00:12:41) final step, how to talk to each color. (00:12:44) Think of this as your secret (00:12:45) communication hack. Now, when it comes (00:12:48) to the reds, make sure you are direct, (00:12:50) you're decisive, you're confident, and (00:12:52) make sure you use frameworks while (00:12:54) you're communicating. They love the (00:12:55) frameworks because it will help you (00:12:57) become more clear, concise, and (00:12:58) coherent. They respect speed, clarity, (00:13:01) and results. So, skip the fluff and (00:13:04) focus on the outcome. Don't say, "Let me (00:13:07) walk you through all the background (00:13:09) details before we decide what to do (00:13:11) next. I want to show you all 147 (00:13:14) slides." Instead, say, "Listen, the (00:13:17) report's finished. I've gone through all (00:13:19) the data and summarized for you the top (00:13:21) three points and here's what I recommend (00:13:24) the next steps be. Let me know if you (00:13:25) have any questions. Why is this (00:13:27) important? It's important because a lot (00:13:29) of leaders in senior positions are (00:13:31) really time poor and they love direct (00:13:33) communication. And in the example that I (00:13:35) just shared with you, I'm using a (00:13:37) communication framework. So, if you want (00:13:38) to learn more about communication (00:13:40) frameworks and how to speak in a (00:13:42) concise, clear, and coherent manner, (00:13:43) I've recorded a free 2-hour training for (00:13:45) you where we dive deeper into more (00:13:48) frameworks so you can come across more (00:13:50) clear and confident. Just click the link (00:13:53) in the description to save your spot. (00:13:55) Now, when you're talking to a yellow, be (00:13:57) enthusiastic, be positive, be engaging. (00:14:00) Don't say, "Let me give you a 5hour (00:14:03) tutorial exactly on how to use this (00:14:05) particular camera," and then give you a (00:14:08) 40page PDF on how to get the most out of (00:14:10) this camera. Instead of that, say, "Hey, (00:14:13) just hit the record button. Go have some (00:14:16) fun. Go work it out as you go. You're (00:14:18) going to love it." Why do this? Well, (00:14:19) because they thrive on energy, ideas, (00:14:22) and stories. Keep it light. Keep it fun. (00:14:24) Keep it creative. Let them roam free. (00:14:27) Leave the details to the blues. Now, (00:14:29) when you're talking to a green, be calm. (00:14:32) Be patient and supportive. Don't say, (00:14:35) "We need to make this change right now. (00:14:37) Now, now, now, now, now." Say instead, (00:14:39) "Hey, listen. I know this is a shift, (00:14:41) but we'll move at a pace that feels (00:14:43) comfortable for you, and I'm going to (00:14:44) support you all the way through it." Do (00:14:47) you notice the difference when speaking (00:14:48) to greens? They value harmony and (00:14:50) reliability. So, slow down, listen, and (00:14:54) avoid pushing too hard too fast. Now, (00:14:57) when you're talking to a blue, be (00:14:59) precise, structured, and factual. Don't (00:15:02) say, "Don't worry about the details. (00:15:05) Just trust me." Instead, say, "Here's (00:15:07) all the data, and here's the (00:15:09) step-by-step plan that I've created from (00:15:11) the data, and I want to give it to you (00:15:12) so you can do a quick double check if (00:15:14) you want." Do you notice the subtle (00:15:15) change there for the blue? They care (00:15:17) about accuracy and process. So, come (00:15:19) prepared, respect the details, and avoid (00:15:22) exaggeration. Oh, they hate that. As you (00:15:24) learn how to do this, you'll be able to (00:15:26) connect with 95% of the people that you (00:15:28) meet. And remember, this doesn't mean (00:15:30) you're changing who you are. It means (00:15:32) you're just learning how to adapt your (00:15:34) communication style to their (00:15:36) communication style. Masterful (00:15:38) communicators meet people where they are (00:15:41) and make the connection effortless. We (00:15:44) often hear the phrase, "Be yourself." (00:15:47) And yes, look, that is true to a certain (00:15:49) extent. But if you want to truly connect (00:15:51) with others, you also have to learn to (00:15:53) be dynamic like water. You adapt to the (00:15:57) shape of the vessel that you're poured (00:15:59) into. (00:16:00) >> Be formless, shapeless (00:16:03) like water. (00:16:04) >> See? See? Even Bruce Lee says so. So, (00:16:07) thanks for that, Uncle. I appreciate (00:16:08) that. At the end of the day, we are all (00:16:11) the colors. There's a version of you (00:16:13) that's fun and playful, yellow. There's (00:16:16) a version of you that seeks connection (00:16:17) and depth and detail, blue. There's a (00:16:20) version of you that's conflict avoidant (00:16:22) and always seeks peace, green. And then (00:16:25) there's a version of you that just gets (00:16:26) done, red. We are all of them. We (00:16:30) just tend to default towards one. It (00:16:32) doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't (00:16:34) speak the other colors. It means you (00:16:36) should learn them all. This is what I (00:16:38) teach in my programs, the ability to be (00:16:40) multilingual without losing your (00:16:42) identity. To walk into any room and meet (00:16:44) people where they are while still (00:16:46) bringing the most powerful version of (00:16:48) you, that's a superpower. So, which (00:16:50) color are you? If you haven't, let me (00:16:52) know. What color are you? Communication (00:16:54) is the tide that lifts all boats. And (00:16:56) when you master this skill, your entire (00:16:59) life rises with it. Hey, let's keep (00:17:03) learning together. If you want to dive (00:17:04) deeper down the rabbit hole, hit this (00:17:06) video right here.