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Title: How to Trick Your Monkey Brain To Like Doing Hard Things (Dopamine Detox)
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The number one breakthrough that you
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need in your life is sitting behind one
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hard thing that you keep avoiding. And
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deep down, I'm sure you know exactly
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what it is. But instead of doing it,
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your brain defaults to fear and you burn
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energy, rehearsing failure, and worrying
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about the future instead of actually
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moving forward. And the longer that you
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put it off, the louder that your stress
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and your anxiety will get. And so this
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episode is a pattern interrupt for you.
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I'm going to be breaking down the
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neuroscience behind avoidance,
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motivation, and the exact moment where
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your brain learns to stop running and
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fall in love with taking action. So if
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you've been feeling stuck or unmotivated
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or low-key anxious all the time, then
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this is the reset that you're going to
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need. Okay. When you are about to do
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something hard, something that puts you
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out of your comfort zone, your body will
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sound the alarm. It'll say fear, it'll
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say stress, it'll say anxiety, and it
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will flood your body with the chemicals
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that are associated with those. But
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neurologically, that's actually the
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start of progress for you. But most of
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us usually back down at that point.
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Here's the reason why it's the start of
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progress for us. When you voluntarily
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face effort and stress and something
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that's going to push you, your dopamine
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system activates inside of your brain.
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And your dopamine system, dopamine
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inside of your brain is the chemical of
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motivation. Whenever you are trying to
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achieve something, your brain releases
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dopamine. When you're anticipating
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achieving that, your brain releases
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dopamine. When you achieve that thing,
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your brain releases dopamine. All of
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those are designed to keep you
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motivated. And the key here is that it
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doesn't just happen. You don't just get
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dopamine when you finish the thing.
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Dopamine rises in your brain, in your
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body, in the pursuit of trying to
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achieve something. That's the key. And
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so the translation is that you don't
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have to succeed or hit a home run with
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everything that you do in order to feel
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motivated, in order to do the hard
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things. You just need to start. And when
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you do this, you will start to rewire
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your brain to associate challenge with
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reward. And if you do it enough, your
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brain will begin to rewire itself.
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Effort triggers neuroplasticity. And
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neuroplasticity is your brain's ability
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to change itself. But the catch is if
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there is no strain, there's no change.
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The key to neuroplasticity is that the
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bigger the strain, the harder it is for
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you, the more it will change your brain.
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So if you're having trouble doing the
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hard thing, taking the action, doing
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what you need to do to change your life,
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it's because you have accidentally wired
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your brain into connecting challenge
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with danger or fear or threat. When in
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reality we are wired for challenge
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equals reward. So unless you make a
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drastic change in your life, there is no
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shortcut. There is no book that you can
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read. You have to make a drastic change
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in your life. And if you don't, you will
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always default to your brain connecting
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challenge with danger or threat or fear.
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And if you continue that way, nothing in
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your life will change and everything
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will get harder and harder to do. Like,
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think about it for a second. And I want
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you to really, really think about this.
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Is going to the gym really that hard?
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Like an hour of discomfort. Oh, you poor
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baby. An hour of discomfort. That's the
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hardest thing right now. Sending that
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email that you've been putting off for
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so long. Oh, you poor baby. You're
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moving your fingers on a keyboard. Oh my
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goodness, that's so hard, right? You're
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sitting in an air conditioned room
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moving your fingers, right? You're
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you're literally just moving your
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fingers and you're staring at a screen.
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That's what you're doing when you're
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doing an email. Like making cold calls
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if that's what you need. You need to
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make cold calls to prospects in order to
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grow your business. You're just pushing
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a piece of plastic with your fingers and
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then putting that piece of plastic to
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your ear. So like quote unquote
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difficult what I'm talking about here
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when you put it into the perspective of
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being a human and from what other people
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in this world are going through. Let's
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be honest like it's really not that
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difficult. It's that we have made it
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more difficult in our brains by our old
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default programming.
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And that programming just says, "Oh,
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when I'm challenged I lay down. Mike,
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we're just flaccid humans like just
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getting run over by small challenges.
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Get your ass up and do something that's
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harder, right? When we seek challenges,
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when we seek discomfort, your brain
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starts to change itself. And studies
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have shown that this change in your
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brain can happen in as little as 21 days
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of consecutive action. So your nervous
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system uses discomfort as a sign that
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instead of it being a threat, it uses it
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as a sign that you're adapting, that
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you're changing. And over time, your
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brain starts to anticipate and become
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addicted to the chemicals released when
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you do something hard. Dopamine,
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serotonin, endorphins, all of those are
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feel-good chemicals that are released
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when you do something hard or when you
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achieve something. And whenever you get
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those feel-good chemicals, guess what?
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You want more of those. And so, yes, you
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can literally get yourself to a place
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where if you push yourself for long
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enough that you will eventually want to
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do what is hard. And there's a part of
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your brain, you may have heard me talk
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about this a few episodes ago, called
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the anterior singulate cortex, which is
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where neurologists are actually starting
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to think is the center of your
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willpower. And so for people who don't
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push themsel, who don't push themselves
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out of their comfort zone, that don't go
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to the gym often, who don't do hard
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things, their interior singular cortex
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is very small. Not because that's just
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what they were born with and that's the
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way it's going to stay forever. It's
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because when you start to push yourself
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and do something hard, the interior
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singulate cortex grows. They found
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people that are that are professional
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athletes, their interior singular cortex
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is much larger than somebody who doesn't
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challenge themsel, not because they were
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born that way, but because professional
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athletes have to push themsel and do
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things that they don't want to do every
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single day for 20 or 30 years. And so
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they have found that when people start
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to push themselves more, people's
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interior singlet cortex will grow. So,
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next time that you think something is
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hard and you're like, I don't know if I
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can do it. I don't know if I'm going to
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be able to do it. Maybe I should lay
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down. Maybe I should scroll. Maybe I
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should do something different. Try this
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reframe. When you're feeling the feeling
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of something is hard or difficult, say
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to yourself, "This is my nervous system
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updating. It's updating and I am
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growing." You know, dopamine doesn't
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come from comfort. It comes from the
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pursuit of conquest, the pursuit of
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going and creating something with your
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life. So doing the hard things will
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always make your life easier though.
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That's the weird kind of paradox of it
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is doing hard things makes your life
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easier.
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Avoiding hard things only makes your
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life harder.
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So the truth is that your brain actually
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wants to be challenged. Like your brain
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wasn't designed for comfort. It was
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built for adaptation. When we evolved in
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environments where survival required
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effort, like hunting and building and
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escaping and enduring and going through
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challenges every single day, we
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developed our brain developed a reward
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system that fires dopamine during the
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pursuit of doing something hard, not
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just the prize. And the reason why is
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because it kept us pushing oursel. It
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kept our species adapting. And it's now
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built into us to actually want to do
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something that's challenging. That means
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that your neurochemistry is hardwired to
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reward challenge. You get the boost when
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you're in the middle of doing something
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and when you're in the pursuit of
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something, not when it's done, but when
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you're actually in motion. But here's
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the modern problem, though. Modern life
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has made us soft.
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Today, most of us are just completely
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soft. Like our ancestors would have
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laughed at how soft we are. Oh, you've
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got to move your thumbs. Oh my god,
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that's so hard for you to do. To send
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that difficult text message or to, you
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know, to send that email and you got to
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move your fingers inside of air
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conditioning with a full belly and with,
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you know, water and clothes and
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everything. Oh, so hard, right? Like our
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ancestors literally had to fight for
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their lives every single day. And so,
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modern life has made us soft. Today's
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life is basically we live in a dopamine
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buffet. We can scroll on our phones
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instead of doing what's hard. We can
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watch TV instead of pushing oursel.
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Comfort
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is always one click away. Like if I if
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I'm sitting on my couch scrolling on my
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phone watching Netflix at the same time
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and I'm like, you know what, I'm kind of
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hungry. I can just go on to Door Dash. I
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can order it and it's going to be at my
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house in 20 minutes. There's no
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challenge. It's like dopamine, scrolling
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on my phone, dopamine, watching Netflix,
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dopamine, eating food. It's just a
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buffet of dopamine. And the result is
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that our nervous systems have been
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hijacked by cheap dopamine like the TV,
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like scrolling on our phones. And we
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have unconsciously trained ourselves to
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avoid effort and to fear discomfort. We
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have become soft. And so when a real
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challenge shows up, a challenge that if
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we face it and we work through it will
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make our life better, like a workout or
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having a difficult conversation that we
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need to have or a decision that's a big
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life decision in your business, your
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brain misreads it as some sort of threat
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and something to fear instead of looking
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at it and seeing the actual opportunity
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that's in front of us. And so what
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happens is we feel resistance. It's, oh
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my god, I feel this resistance inside of
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my body. So, what do we do? We hesitate.
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We procrastinate. But underneath all
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that hesitation, that procrastination,
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the wiring is still there. Even if
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you're the softest human alive and you
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haven't ever pushed yourself in your
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entire life and you're listening to this
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podcast episode, your original wiring is
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still there. the the wiring that craves
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to be pushed to stress to do something
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that is hard because it feels good to do
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something that is hard. And so you have
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to understand if that's the case, well
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then even if I'm the softest human
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alive, I can make myself be somebody
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that's harder because that wiring is
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inside of me. But I can't do it from,
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you know, I love that you listen to this
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podcast, but this isn't doing something
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hard. You know, it's not going to come
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from reading a book. It's not going to
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come from going to a conference. It's
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gonna come from you doing something that
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is hard. That is it. There is no magic
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pill that I can give you to grow your
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interior singular cortex and now you do
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hard things. Like the magic of it is
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every time you do something that is
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hard, your brain updates and it learns.
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Oh wait, I just did something that
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seemed hard. I did something that I was
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afraid of. I survived. I adapted. I'm
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stronger now. And so what happens is you
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get sharper. You become more confident.
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you become more resilient and slowly
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what was at some point in time something
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that felt unbearable to you, something
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that was so hard to do becomes
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automatic. So many people when they're
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on the weight loss journey and they're
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100 pounds overweight and they just go
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at it and go at it and go at it. like
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the first few months, at least the first
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few weeks are just so hard. And you
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watch these videos of transformation and
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you see them two years down the road and
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it's like they work out every single day
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or 5 days a week no matter what. It is
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part of who they are now. And so it went
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from this thing that was so hard for
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them to do and so unbearable to
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basically automatic. It's become part of
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who they are because you have to
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understand that the weight of life
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doesn't change. I don't know if you've
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been seeing what's going on in the
(00:12:41)
world. It's a show. It's always been a
(00:12:43)
show and I'm going to assume it's going
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to continue being a show. The weight of
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life does not change. It does not get
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easier. You are the one that changes.
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You become stronger and that is how life
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becomes easier. The paradox is that if
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you do something that is hard over and
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over again. The more that you do hard
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things, the easier your life will get.
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The more that you avoid hard things, the
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harder your life will get. And so, yes,
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doing the hard things, it sucks in the
(00:13:12)
moment. I get it. But on the other side
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of that, it is a better you. It's a
(00:13:16)
calmer you. It's a stronger you. It's a
(00:13:19)
more confident you. It's a more
(00:13:20)
resilient you. Your brain was built for
(00:13:24)
discomfort. It is how our species learn
(00:13:26)
to survive. But modern comfort has made
(00:13:30)
you forget it. So, your way back,
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you got to do the hard thing. There's no
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way around it. I'm sorry, buddy. And you
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got to do it often and you've got to do
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it on purpose because when you do the
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hard thing, life always gets easier. And
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so here's the real kicker all of all of
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this though. Every time you do the hard
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thing, especially when you don't want
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to, especially when you don't feel
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ready, your brain basically records a
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message of like, hey, I'm the kind of
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person who takes action no matter what.
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That right there is an identity. And the
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identity is where everything changes.
(00:14:02)
You don't build confidence by thinking
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that you're confident. You don't build
(00:14:06)
confidence by reading a book on
(00:14:08)
confidence. You build it by doing what
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you don't want to do. By doing what
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scares you and noticing that you
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survived and then actually taking time
(00:14:18)
and reinforcing by how you speak to
(00:14:20)
yourself how well you did with your own
(00:14:22)
self-t talk. Oh my god, I can't believe
(00:14:24)
you showed up for the gym. You didn't
(00:14:27)
want to. You were tired. You were
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exhausted. I'm so proud of you. You're
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the type of person who follows through.
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And you reinforce this identity by your
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your unconscious mind seeing what you do
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and by you talking to yourself in the
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right way. So if you're stuck in
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self-doubt, start with doing something
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hard and then do it again tomorrow
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because self-doubt is a slippery slope.
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If you don't do something about it and
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force yourself to take some form of
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action, you will lose more belief in
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yourself. So you have to pay attention
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to what it is that you do and how it is
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that you speak to yourself. Like I
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noticed something today at the gym. So,
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I I have a new trainer who's a who's a
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ex-Navy Seal for 15 years, and he's
(00:15:04)
hardcore, and he made me start off on
(00:15:06)
the assault bike. And the assault bike
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sucks, and I had to do two and a half
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minutes as hard as I possibly could and
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hit a certain time and hit a certain
(00:15:13)
mile and all this stuff in a certain
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amount of time. And today was just not
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the day because we worked legs really
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hard two days ago. And I was thinking to
(00:15:20)
myself as I was going, I was like, "This
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is so hard. Oh my god, I don't think I
(00:15:23)
can do this. I don't think I could do
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this. I don't think I can hit the time."
(00:15:26)
And I noticed my own selft talk which I
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still get stuck in everybody. And I
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noticed how I was slowing down when I
(00:15:31)
was saying I don't think I can do this.
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This is hard. And then I I was like
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that. I'm not going to speak to myself
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that way. I'm going to say you got this.
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Started saying you got this. You can do
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this. I know you can do this. I know you
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can do this. You're going to get it
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done. I know you can do this. You got
(00:15:43)
this. I believe in you. And I had to hit
(00:15:45)
a mile in two and a half minutes on the
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assault bike. And I literally hit it in
(00:15:49)
2 minutes and 28 seconds. And I was
(00:15:50)
like, "Oh my god, I was behind time."
(00:15:52)
And somehow I caught up. And it was
(00:15:54)
because I was doing something that was
(00:15:55)
hard, but I was also rewiring myself by
(00:15:58)
not only doing the thing, but also the
(00:16:00)
way that I was talking to myself, which
(00:16:02)
is really key in all of this as well.
(00:16:04)
And so my assignment for you today is to
(00:16:06)
pick one thing that has felt too hard
(00:16:08)
for you to do for way too long. And what
(00:16:11)
I want you to do is I want you to figure
(00:16:12)
it out. I want you to write it down.
(00:16:14)
I've been avoiding blank and fill in
(00:16:16)
that blank. And I want you to shrink it
(00:16:18)
down. What is a five minute version of
(00:16:21)
that thing? Whatever it might be. I've
(00:16:23)
been avoiding going to the gym. Okay, go
(00:16:25)
on to YouTube, find a five minute
(00:16:26)
YouTube video of a workout and you're
(00:16:29)
straight up just do five minutes of it.
(00:16:31)
So, you you you name it, you shrink it,
(00:16:34)
you start anyways, and you do it
(00:16:36)
immediately before your brain has any
(00:16:38)
time to negotiate or think of other
(00:16:39)
options. And then what you get done once
(00:16:42)
you get done with those five minutes or
(00:16:43)
whatever it is, you build yourself up by
(00:16:45)
how you talk to yourself. And you
(00:16:48)
actually start to reinforce the
(00:16:49)
feel-good chemicals in your brain. Now
(00:16:51)
you have endorphins. Now you have
(00:16:52)
serotonin. Now you have dopamine. And
(00:16:54)
you're also talking to yourself, "Oh my
(00:16:56)
gosh, I'm so proud of you. You did it in
(00:16:57)
5 minutes. You didn't want to. I'm proud
(00:16:59)
of you. You released more dopamine." You
(00:17:01)
start to actually become more addicted
(00:17:03)
to needing to do the hard things. And so
(00:17:05)
the key here is if you want a better
(00:17:07)
life, if you want your life to be
(00:17:08)
easier, you need to start wiring
(00:17:10)
yourself to do things that are hard. And
(00:17:13)
if you do that, your life will become
(00:17:15)
better. Hey, thanks so much for watching
(00:17:16)
this video. Based off of what you have
(00:17:18)
been watching recently, YouTube's
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algorithm thinks this video is the one
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that you need to watch the most right
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now. So, click this one. And if you want
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to make sure that you do not miss any
(00:17:27)
more videos, click that button right
(00:17:29)
there to subscribe. and I'll see you on
(00:17:31)
the next
