Tucker Carlson – Revolution, World War 3, WTC Building 7 and Supernatural Phenomenon | SRS #115 (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:00) [Music] (00:00:05) Tucker Carlson welcome to the show (00:00:07) thanks for having me man you're welcome (00:00:10) thank you for being here well I wanted (00:00:12) to come I've been looking forward to (00:00:14) this for so long I haven't told anybody (00:00:17) cuz I didn't want to jinx it and um and (00:00:20) now here we are jinxed it I was super (00:00:22) psyched I saw your tape I was like well (00:00:24) that guy is real unlike most people on (00:00:27) the internet and I texted you got your (00:00:29) number I was like that guy's not to brag (00:00:31) but I was like that guy's gonna be a (00:00:32) success thank you thank you he not lying (00:00:35) like everybody else yeah we uh so yeah (00:00:38) we got we actually got connected through (00:00:40) buck ston so oh is that what it was yeah (00:00:43) our mutual friend buck so I I got to I (00:00:47) got to give Buck a shout out man Buck I (00:00:49) love that thank you you're amazing did (00:00:51) you work with him no we did we never (00:00:53) actually worked uh at say at the same (00:00:56) time we met you know how we met we met (00:01:01) he had reached out to (00:01:02) me uh because of the Eric Prince (00:01:05) interview and I heard him on the radio (00:01:07) kind of talking about that interview and (00:01:10) and uh and then we got connected and (00:01:12) became buddies and uh so yeah and then (00:01:15) it developed into yeah that's wild put (00:01:17) us in contact so I love that yeah me too (00:01:21) but um so we got a lot of stuff to cover (00:01:23) today in a short amount of time and uh (00:01:26) but I'd love to I've not heard your life (00:01:29) story on any other interview (00:01:31) and so I'd love to kind of start there (00:01:33) if you're willing it's not that (00:01:35) interesting that's what I talked about (00:01:37) I'm not super I've seen a lot of (00:01:39) interesting stuff I my story is not that (00:01:41) interesting I was born in San (00:01:43) Francisco well hold on hold on hold on (00:01:46) we'll get there but uh let me give you a (00:01:48) quick introduction (00:01:50) great Tucker Carlson you are one of the (00:01:53) leading voices in American politics you (00:01:56) host the Tucker Carlson show a brand new (00:01:59) long form convers ational podcast Time (00:02:02) Magazine has called you the most (00:02:03) powerful conservative in America after (00:02:06) spending decades in cable news you (00:02:08) launched an online Media Company TCN to (00:02:11) provide an alternative to corporate (00:02:13) media that is dedicated to telling the (00:02:15) truth about things that matter clearly (00:02:18) and without fear Tucker Carlson hosted (00:02:21) Fox News Channel's Flagship Prime Time (00:02:23) cable news program Tucker Carlson (00:02:25) tonight it was and still is the highest (00:02:28) rated program in cable news history (00:02:32) before that you hosted other programs on (00:02:34) Fox News (00:02:35) MSNBC and CNN you're the author of two (00:02:39) recent New York Times bestsellers Ship (00:02:41) of Fools in the long slide (00:02:46) husband been with your wife 40 years 40 (00:02:49) years 19 congratulations that's that's (00:02:52) incredible she was 15 I was 33 it was (00:02:56) weird father to four children yep three (00:03:00) girls one boy exactly in the last year (00:03:03) you've shattered viewership records and (00:03:05) reshaped the media landscape by bringing (00:03:08) your interviews and Reporting (00:03:10) online you've recently interviewed (00:03:12) Donald Trump Vladimir Putin Elon Musk (00:03:15) and many more of the biggest names in (00:03:17) news and politics around the world (00:03:20) you're 22 years Sober Sober 22 years and (00:03:24) a man of God I I would never call myself (00:03:27) a man of God but I I definitely believe (00:03:29) in God yeah I am a Christian yes so am I (00:03:32) missing any I'm sure I'm missing a lot (00:03:34) oh I mean (00:03:35) that that's all half true but (00:03:38) um yeah I turn 55 tomorrow so it's a (00:03:41) little it's it is weird I I'm not I try (00:03:44) not to be too reflective because that's (00:03:46) just a well you can fall down and not (00:03:48) get out of but (00:03:50) um I basically just had the same job my (00:03:52) whole life and um just kept getting (00:03:55) fired or having you know the mediums (00:03:58) that I worked in disappear like magazine (00:04:00) and newspapers cable news broadcast (00:04:03) television that all just kind of went (00:04:05) away yeah you know as the country (00:04:07) changed so I do feel blessed to have not (00:04:11) a second act but like a ninth act um I (00:04:14) do really feel fortunate I am fortunate (00:04:17) um not for the money even or especially (00:04:21) but for the chance to do something that (00:04:23) I like and that I think is sort of (00:04:25) productive and I have a lot of energy (00:04:28) and I need to channel it into something (00:04:29) that's not not negative or (00:04:30) self-destructive and so I'm just really (00:04:33) grateful you don't want to be a (00:04:34) middle-aged man as I am without an (00:04:37) outlet (00:04:39) yeah well you've definitely had a superb (00:04:43) career and continue to what what is it (00:04:45) that you think that uh people gravitate (00:04:49) I'm not self-aware I refuse to be (00:04:50) self-aware I don't even like mirrors um (00:04:54) so at all which you can probably tell (00:04:56) from my appearance um so I I have (00:05:00) literally no idea but I do think (00:05:03) that especially in the LA I mean I think (00:05:06) a lot of things but in the last few (00:05:08) years it's become clear to me that the (00:05:10) categories that I thought were real are (00:05:12) not and that it really is a contest of (00:05:16) in fact a war between the truth and (00:05:19) deception and so I and I believe you (00:05:23) know I don't always know what the truth (00:05:24) is and I've certainly repeated a lot of (00:05:25) things that were lies mostly (00:05:28) unintentionally I try not to lie I have (00:05:30) lied but I try not to but I've certainly (00:05:32) said a ton of things that were wrong um (00:05:36) but I am trying to tell the truth I am (00:05:38) not the whole truth all the time you (00:05:40) don't have to say everything you think (00:05:41) you shouldn't but you can't lie and uh (00:05:45) and I think that people can feel that (00:05:47) it's what it's why I'm sitting right (00:05:49) here it's why I was attracted to your (00:05:51) podcast someone sent me a clip and I was (00:05:53) like and I actually love the content I (00:05:54) thought it was interesting and open mind (00:05:55) but mostly I thought it was real and I (00:05:58) think that you can perceive that on like (00:05:59) a gut level like I know when someone's (00:06:02) lying to me I don't always know what (00:06:03) he's lying about or why he's lying but I (00:06:05) can smell deceptionist we all can from (00:06:08) our instincts (00:06:10) instantly and I'm I don't have any (00:06:12) special powers of any kind I don't have (00:06:14) a crazy high IQ or I really don't have (00:06:16) that many skills but I would say my main (00:06:18) skill is I believe my instincts like I (00:06:20) don't think they lie to me they're not (00:06:22) trying to sell me something not trying (00:06:23) to get elected they're there to serve me (00:06:26) I really believe that that's true of all (00:06:27) people and animals I love animal so I (00:06:30) see this at work in animals as well and (00:06:33) um I don't hesitate to follow my (00:06:35) instincts ever and the extent that I (00:06:38) have I've gotten in trouble so again I (00:06:41) don't always know what those instincts (00:06:42) mean as I say to my children they are (00:06:44) uniring but imprecise like they're (00:06:47) absolutely real 100% of the time the (00:06:49) question is how do you interpret them do (00:06:51) you know what I mean I do it I I know (00:06:55) exactly what you that's probably why (00:06:56) you're still alive because you know what (00:06:58) I'm talking about right exactly yeah (00:07:01) every time I don't and I go against it (00:07:04) yes I regret it you know oh oh I could (00:07:07) write a book on the counter instinctual (00:07:10) moves I've made that turned out to be (00:07:11) disasters or the conclusions that I (00:07:13) reached against my own I mean this was (00:07:14) the thing for me with the VA I don't (00:07:16) know anything about I was not against (00:07:17) vaccines particularly and I grew up in a (00:07:20) town in La Hoya California that was sort (00:07:22) of the whole town was based on the polio (00:07:24) vaccine that the sulk Institute Jonas (00:07:26) sulk Institute was there I was not (00:07:28) against vaccines I hadn't really thought (00:07:29) about them I thought they were I guess (00:07:30) miracles of science that's what I was (00:07:32) told I don't even know what I think of (00:07:34) vaccines now but um I'm skeptical but (00:07:38) with the co VA I all I knew I didn't (00:07:41) know anything about mRNA technology of (00:07:43) course I still am not an expert on that (00:07:45) but I know a lot about human deception (00:07:47) because that's been my job my whole life (00:07:49) and also I'm just I try to pay attention (00:07:51) to whether something is true or false (00:07:53) and the behavior of the people selling (00:07:56) me that was so transparently dishonest I (00:07:59) didn't know that the VX wouldn't work (00:08:01) which it didn't of course I didn't know (00:08:03) that it would cause harm which it did (00:08:04) but I did know that the people selling (00:08:06) it were Liars like I knew that instantly (00:08:08) and I know some of them but I could just (00:08:10) tell by their behavior they're lying and (00:08:12) I was like I don't know what this is no (00:08:15) one in my family's getting this we're (00:08:16) not doing this and I'm not doing this (00:08:19) period period like I figured that out (00:08:21) the first day yeah that's not true I did (00:08:24) not figure it out I still haven't (00:08:25) figured it out but I felt it so strongly (00:08:28) and I just obeyed (00:08:30) and I think that (00:08:32) works I think it does too yeah um you (00:08:36) know something I wanted to ask you to (00:08:38) rewind a little bit I ask everybody (00:08:40) who's in a successful marriage this (00:08:42) question you've been with your wife 40 (00:08:44) years I think you said you've been (00:08:46) married for 33 years yes in a country (00:08:50) where divorce is the commonality what (00:08:53) would you say the secret to a successful (00:08:56) marriage is I mean luck Destiny (00:08:58) Providence plays a huge Ro you you know (00:09:00) you're not the author of your success or (00:09:03) entirely of your failures I would say (00:09:05) also there's a lot that happens in life (00:09:07) that is not the product of choices that (00:09:09) you made Free Will is overrated I'm (00:09:12) becoming more calvinist by the day just (00:09:14) watch it you know does the 5-year-old (00:09:16) get leukemia because she did something (00:09:17) wrong like no a lot of things you spent (00:09:20) a lot of your life in wart people you (00:09:22) know who died did they deser you know (00:09:23) what I mean it's like you don't things (00:09:24) happen that are not for good and bad (00:09:27) that are not sort of up to you and so a (00:09:30) lot of having a happy marriage is just (00:09:31) marrying someone with whom you're (00:09:33) compatible and you change I met my wife (00:09:35) in 1984 and it's a completely different (00:09:37) country and we're different people but (00:09:39) we're different in the same way who's (00:09:42) respons you know who did that I didn't (00:09:44) really I hear people say marriages are (00:09:46) hard I've never had a hard time in I've (00:09:48) always enjoyed it there are hard times (00:09:51) you got a lot of little kids you've got (00:09:52) little kids it's like pretty hard but I (00:09:55) was I've always been happy to be married (00:09:56) to her and more happy as the years go by (00:09:58) but to the extent that you can control (00:10:00) these things like pick the right person (00:10:03) do not marry a stripper they're all (00:10:05) crazy I'm sure some are nice I've known (00:10:06) some who are nice I'm serious but (00:10:08) they're damaged try to marry a girl who (00:10:11) likes her dad I think that's important (00:10:13) or who did like her dad when she was (00:10:14) little why do you think that's important (00:10:17) I've never heard anybody say that cuz (00:10:18) I've noticed it I've noticed it I've (00:10:21) noticed it a lot and up close I mean (00:10:24) this is I'm not guessing it I could be (00:10:26) completely wrong this is just an (00:10:27) observation of mine but girls who like (00:10:29) their dads or who like their you know (00:10:31) everyone's disappointed by his dad or (00:10:33) her dad in later life like you learn (00:10:35) that your dad's human and holy [ __ ] I (00:10:36) can't believe he's human thought he was (00:10:38) God so there's no that's natural but you (00:10:41) know when you're eight if you're deeply (00:10:44) disappointed in your dad especially as a (00:10:46) girl yeah that leaves a mark and I've (00:10:49) known women who had terrible (00:10:51) relationships with their fathers who (00:10:52) were wonderful people and well balanced (00:10:54) people but it's it's harder for sure and (00:10:57) if a girl has a completely contentious (00:10:59) relationship with their father and has (00:11:00) been betrayed by him and the family (00:11:02) abandoned by (00:11:03) him you know that can really have an (00:11:06) effect whereas a woman who you know grew (00:11:09) up really loving her dad and feeling (00:11:10) secure in his leadership as a dad and (00:11:12) his love as a (00:11:13) dad that girl is more secure and less (00:11:16) jumpy and she's not you know thinking (00:11:18) that every argument is going to lead to (00:11:20) divorce the thing about damage in (00:11:22) childhood is it's hard to sort of let go (00:11:25) of those patterns and products of (00:11:27) divorce like me for example it takes a (00:11:29) while to realize that like you know you (00:11:31) have a disagreement that's okay it's not (00:11:32) the end of the world you're not going to (00:11:34) like get divorced you know so that's I (00:11:37) think that's important second like just (00:11:39) resolve not to get (00:11:40) divorced I do think that's important I'm (00:11:42) not a particularly virtuous person at (00:11:44) all actually but I did when I got (00:11:46) married I had been I had lived through a (00:11:48) divorce as a child I was like I'm not (00:11:49) doing that like period my wife came from (00:11:52) a stable family and she was like divorc (00:11:55) like what it was not even a (00:11:57) thing but I resol olve like I'm not (00:12:00) doing that and so that I think is (00:12:02) helpful to decide here are the (00:12:03) boundaries like whatever we're doing (00:12:05) we're not splitting up but I would say (00:12:07) the main thing is spending time with (00:12:09) your wife when your kids are little (00:12:12) which is really hard it's so hard and (00:12:16) you love your kids and so it's very (00:12:20) tempting or it's natural actually to (00:12:22) divert your attention from your spouse (00:12:24) to your children because they're your (00:12:25) children and and that's natural and you (00:12:27) should do that but it's also very easy (00:12:30) indeed it's the natural course to ignore (00:12:33) your spouse in favor your children cuz (00:12:35) children are instantly affirming your (00:12:37) spouse is complicated you'll you can be (00:12:39) with a woman for as I have 40 years and (00:12:41) still only get like 65% comprehension of (00:12:43) what she's saying cuz she's a woman so (00:12:45) she can't really understand you know (00:12:47) what I mean I do which is of course the (00:12:48) beauty of it that's why it's interesting (00:12:50) and fresh and like a challenge and cool (00:12:52) and you learn a lot and if she was just (00:12:54) like you you would learn nothing it's (00:12:55) just narcissism it's masturbation but (00:12:57) because she's so different from you it's (00:12:58) like what it forces you out of yourself (00:13:00) to figure it out but the Temptation for (00:13:03) men is to be like okay I have a choice (00:13:06) of hanging out with my 5-year-old it's (00:13:08) like Dad you're so great and my wife was (00:13:11) like kind of pissed at me for reasons I (00:13:12) don't really understand she's just crazy (00:13:15) so I'm going to just go off for the kids (00:13:17) cuz that's like the sugar high that's (00:13:18) like plus they're my kids so I can (00:13:19) justify it if you keep doing that you (00:13:22) will destroy your marriage and it's so (00:13:26) vital for men to force themselves to (00:13:29) work through the crazy your wife is not (00:13:31) well she's kind of crazy of course but (00:13:33) she's not deeply crazy actually she's (00:13:36) probably wise and to force yourself to (00:13:40) get over that hump which is the first 10 (00:13:42) minutes you're like I can't what the are (00:13:44) you saying leave me alone you're crazy (00:13:46) to get past that and realize no actually (00:13:49) she's trying to tell me something that's (00:13:50) really important and be humble enough to (00:13:53) hear it and assess it rationally and (00:13:55) that's a process it's painful at first (00:13:59) and have found the two techniques that (00:14:01) practical techniques that work are long (00:14:03) walks because you're not facing each (00:14:05) other so if there's a dispute you don't (00:14:07) have to look into each other's eyes it's (00:14:08) too intense you know it's like big cats (00:14:10) can't stare at each other without eating (00:14:11) each other um if I've never had a (00:14:15) problem in my marriage I couldn't walk (00:14:17) off and then the higher level of that is (00:14:20) the dayong in bed Summit meeting for (00:14:22) like big issues so if you have like a (00:14:26) long not a minor but like a (00:14:27) long-standing issue a family problem for (00:14:29) example like what do we do about that (00:14:30) that's very complicated I don't know (00:14:32) what to do and I think we kind of (00:14:33) disagree and I'm pissed at you about it (00:14:35) and it sort of (00:14:36) simmers that's when you check into a (00:14:38) hotel for a weekend and you get room (00:14:40) service you get butt naked and you sit (00:14:41) in bed and you talk about it indirectly (00:14:45) in the way you do on a sensitive subject (00:14:46) you don't Dive Right In MH but you get (00:14:49) comfortable and you stay there until (00:14:51) it's (00:14:53) solved I've never heard that one either (00:14:55) that's great in our family we call these (00:14:56) Summit meetings we have a couple famous (00:14:57) ones that have solved like big problem (00:14:59) don't have big problems we never had big (00:15:00) problems but like you know there are (00:15:02) things where you have a difference of (00:15:03) opinion MH and you don't want to fight (00:15:05) so you don't fully articulate it but (00:15:07) you're just like you know it's always (00:15:10) the same she's crazy he's an [ __ ] (00:15:12) she's crazy he's an [ __ ] it's like (00:15:14) you know it's like those the defaults (00:15:16) right and um and so it's but you realize (00:15:20) that she's not crazy and you're probably (00:15:22) slightly less of an [ __ ] than she (00:15:23) assumed you were and you just need to (00:15:24) talk it through and that just it takes (00:15:27) time and it also takes some balls to (00:15:29) face (00:15:30) female dissatisfaction like I don't care (00:15:32) the bravest man I don't care how many (00:15:34) terrorist doors you've breached facing (00:15:38) off against a pissed-off wife is the (00:15:40) scariest thing you'll ever do it's (00:15:41) scarier than jumping out of an airplane (00:15:42) no man wants to do it that's why they (00:15:44) Golf and you to make yourself do that is (00:15:50) really hard that's called leadership (00:15:52) actually that's that is M leadership and (00:15:55) um and it's so worth it it's so worth it (00:15:57) but you never want to do it the man's (00:15:59) impulses to run away every single I (00:16:02) don't care how honorable you think you (00:16:03) are yeah you're not going to like (00:16:04) abandon her go get a pack of cigarettes (00:16:06) and not come back okay though that (00:16:08) happens but you're going to abandon her (00:16:09) in subtle easy to justify ways mostly by (00:16:12) hanging with your (00:16:16) kids you know I've seen a lot during my (00:16:19) 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(00:18:56) dinner take your wife to dinner your (00:18:59) kids will benefit from that much more (00:19:01) than anything you could do for them any (00:19:03) game you could go to any bedtime store (00:19:05) you could read to them Focus make your (00:19:07) wife happy and your children will be (00:19:09) happy and secure what they want is (00:19:11) security predictability knowing that at (00:19:12) the center of the family is an is an (00:19:14) immovable rock called this marriage this (00:19:16) love between man and wife and you will (00:19:19) find that that that is you you want kids (00:19:22) who like each other which is the measure (00:19:24) of happy kids they like each (00:19:26) other um and you want kids who are like (00:19:29) calm and reasonable and happy and not (00:19:31) addicted to drugs have a happy marriage (00:19:34) and it's I think it's that simple I (00:19:36) really I think it's that simple man (00:19:37) that's um that's great advice thank you (00:19:40) it's worked for me you have many people (00:19:42) that's probably going to help that's (00:19:44) amazing well it's pretty simple but (00:19:47) don't run away they all want to run away (00:19:49) I felt that so many times I can't deal (00:19:51) with this I'm out of here I've got (00:19:53) important things to (00:19:54) do I love the marry a girl that loves (00:19:57) her dad dad it's something I've never (00:20:00) heard of and and well I had a really (00:20:03) close friend I want to reveal too much (00:20:05) it's like a someone really close to me (00:20:06) who married like a truly crazy (00:20:09) woman it's a relative of mine like (00:20:12) actually crazy it's like flamboyant like (00:20:13) there's no it's not a close call this is (00:20:16) like a crazy malicious narcissist drug (00:20:19) addict like actual and this is a very (00:20:21) smart person and I said to him once like (00:20:24) we're on a hunting trip we're sitting in (00:20:25) a Duck Blind actually and I said just I (00:20:27) don't want to hurt your feelings or is (00:20:28) this all kind of person and it's too (00:20:29) close and all this but like why'd you do (00:20:31) that she's completely Bonkers and (00:20:34) bad and he said to me they're (00:20:39) upsides s what he said they're (00:20:43) upsides and she was hated her dad you (00:20:45) know she hated her dad and but there (00:20:47) were upsides if you know what I mean and (00:20:49) for the purposes of like a (00:20:51) weekend you know men are really easily (00:20:54) controlled it's totally true they're (00:20:57) very easily controlled they're such (00:20:58) simple organiz isms and um and so yeah (00:21:03) but if it's a choice between you know (00:21:05) like a hot weekend in Reno or a lifetime (00:21:08) of happiness like you can lead them (00:21:11) through predictability reliability good (00:21:14) leadership providing protecting doing (00:21:16) the things that men are on this Earth to (00:21:19) do you can lead them to a pretty awesome (00:21:22) sex life just to be (00:21:24) blunt but it is not worth like I don't (00:21:27) care how crazy she is in the sack or (00:21:29) whatever you do not want to marry an (00:21:32) unhappy crazy person like at all I mean (00:21:34) this is obvious but um the consequences (00:21:38) of that are are I'd rather have cancer (00:21:40) you know yeah yeah not to be too blunt (00:21:43) no that (00:21:45) was great stuff so we have a (00:21:47) subscription account it's on patreon one (00:21:49) of the things that (00:21:52) I give them the opportunity to do (00:21:54) because they've been so good to us (00:21:56) they've been here since the beginning (00:21:57) they're our best supporters our top (00:21:59) supporters and uh so I give them an (00:22:01) opportunity to ask a question oh I love (00:22:04) it every interview and um so this is (00:22:08) from Michael (00:22:10) Cummings if you had to make one (00:22:12) statement about who you believe really (00:22:14) runs this country what would it (00:22:20) be it it depends what you mean by (00:22:24) who it's really a class of people it's (00:22:27) the people who were the beneficiary of (00:22:29) our fake meritocracy the people with (00:22:31) most merit badges the people who bought (00:22:33) into the the lie that undergirds the (00:22:35) current disaster which is if you come up (00:22:37) through these Legacy (00:22:39) institutions and gather the degree or (00:22:41) the resume or you know you go to (00:22:44) whatever Horus man and then Andover and (00:22:48) then Yale and then HBS and McKenzie and (00:22:51) like you know you go up through whatever (00:22:53) that the tokens of achievement that we (00:22:55) hand out to a certain class of people (00:22:58) that you will be a wise leader and (00:23:00) that's demonstrably untrue of course (00:23:02) they've mismanaged all the big things (00:23:04) the things that matter the economy or (00:23:06) foreign policy and they've destroyed the (00:23:08) family too um so really the worst people (00:23:11) so but but it's the products of that (00:23:13) system a group I'm highly familiar with (00:23:16) uh that have wrecked everything but are (00:23:19) still currently in charge and um the (00:23:22) struggle between Trump and Biden is not (00:23:25) a struggle between two guys two elderly (00:23:27) men with different world views no it's a (00:23:30) struggle between classes of people these (00:23:32) are (00:23:33) symbols right they're not I mean they're (00:23:35) people of course in the case of trump is (00:23:37) a person Biden is not fully human (00:23:40) anymore because he's got dementia but (00:23:42) whatever I shouldn't say not fully human (00:23:44) but he's (00:23:46) not fully functioning here yeah he's not (00:23:48) a totally autonomous being anymore he (00:23:50) doesn't have personal sovereignty (00:23:52) anymore but whatever but it's not even (00:23:54) about them even if he did it wouldn't (00:23:56) it's not about them it's about classes (00:23:57) of people and who should be running the (00:24:00) country should it be the people you know (00:24:02) this this this leadership class which (00:24:04) really is the product of a quite (00:24:06) elaborate grooming system that's come up (00:24:08) over the last century but really (00:24:10) accelerated (00:24:11) post-war past 80 years um or like the (00:24:15) rest of people who live here should they (00:24:16) have a voice too should they have any (00:24:17) power so but but that's who's running it (00:24:20) and um it's quite a large group actually (00:24:24) and uh I am you know I grew up if not in (00:24:27) then certainly adjacent to that group so (00:24:29) I I'm quite knowledgeable about it and (00:24:31) I've lived around it so I I know it when (00:24:33) I see it instantly know it when I see (00:24:36) it and um I didn't question it really as (00:24:39) much as I do now now I find it (00:24:41) completely repulsive and immoral and (00:24:44) really disgusting actually but I I (00:24:46) didn't always feel that way because I (00:24:47) didn't fully understand it but um but (00:24:49) the reason that it's so hard to describe (00:24:51) who's really in charge and why people (00:24:54) often decide like you know well it's got (00:24:57) to be Bohemian Grove or you know some (00:24:59) small group of people the reason that (00:25:01) it's so hard to really pinpoint who's (00:25:02) making the decisions is because it's (00:25:05) quite large and diffuse it's an entire (00:25:07) class of people with similar instincts (00:25:08) and similar vested interests in (00:25:11) things and um and they unfortunately (00:25:14) just have an awful lot of power you know (00:25:17) and they control the monopolies that (00:25:19) Define our economy do you think that are (00:25:23) these people you're talking about are (00:25:24) they controlling the country or are they (00:25:26) controlling the (00:25:27) world well that's a really interesting (00:25:30) question and I I don't know if there if (00:25:32) I've arrived at a really clear answer (00:25:34) but it's well certainly obvious at this (00:25:37) point that borders are overrated you (00:25:39) know as as meaningful distinctions (00:25:42) between you know do countries (00:25:45) matter no I mean globalization was (00:25:48) originally conceived as an economic (00:25:50) system a much more efficient economic (00:25:51) system where like it's cheaper to do one (00:25:53) thing in that country it's cheaper to do (00:25:55) this thing in that country and why don't (00:25:56) we just Network them effectively and (00:25:59) that'll be a much more efficient economy (00:26:00) and we'll grow GDP which we claim is a (00:26:03) an accurate measure of something I guess (00:26:05) of wealth it's not but let's just say (00:26:08) that was the thought and but what it (00:26:10) turned into because governance does tend (00:26:13) to follow economics what it turned into (00:26:16) was uh a leadership system so in other (00:26:19) words you know what we thought was just (00:26:21) like a way to get cheaper Electronics (00:26:23) from the Far East turned out to be (00:26:26) effectively world's government you know (00:26:29) of course strictly speaking World (00:26:30) Government not officially world (00:26:32) government in the way that we sort of (00:26:34) people feared 40 years ago the un's (00:26:36) going to run everything it's much more (00:26:39) informal than that but much more durable (00:26:41) than that so it's a network of (00:26:43) businesses governments Intel agencies (00:26:45) for sure and (00:26:48) NOS that determine what's allowed and (00:26:50) what's not allowed and it's as someone (00:26:53) who travels a lot abroad and has you (00:26:56) know on and off my whole life I I I (00:26:58) don't know that it has amounted to much (00:27:01) but I definitely been a lot of places as (00:27:03) you have the most noticeable Trend and I (00:27:06) traveled a lot as a kid so I've sort of (00:27:08) seen the difference the most noticeable (00:27:10) trend is the homogenization of (00:27:11) everything everything looks the same the (00:27:13) attitudes are all the same everyone has (00:27:15) the same you know fashionable (00:27:17) attitudes that are really top down (00:27:20) delivered and the world has just sort of (00:27:23) lost its its differences there are some (00:27:26) exceptions there are some places you go (00:27:27) I really want to go to North Korea now (00:27:29) because I have any love for this you (00:27:31) know stalinism I of course I don't I (00:27:33) hate it but I I do sort of want to be a (00:27:36) place that's a little bit different from (00:27:37) other places M because I I don't I (00:27:40) actually believe in diversity in the (00:27:42) truest sense like I I think differences (00:27:44) are are fine I actually like them I (00:27:46) appreciate them I think we need them I (00:27:47) think nature creates differences God (00:27:49) creates differences so I I I resent the (00:27:51) fact that everything is the same but (00:27:53) that is one measure of the power of this (00:27:56) class it's International it's completely (00:27:59) International um so the whole idea of (00:28:01) like a Sovereign (00:28:03) Nation putting one country's interest (00:28:05) before another countes that's that's (00:28:06) like completely alien to the way the (00:28:08) leadership class thinks completely you (00:28:11) know I just well things go to [ __ ] here (00:28:12) I'll move to Singapore and if they you (00:28:14) know the Chinese do to Singapore what (00:28:16) they did to Hong Kong then I'm in Abu (00:28:17) Dhabi and if things go to [ __ ] there (00:28:19) then I'm in wherever the next place is (00:28:21) do you know what I mean Baker's Bay you (00:28:22) know whatever it's like a it's a way of (00:28:25) thinking and uh it's hard to defeat that (00:28:28) you know yeah yeah it's (00:28:32) uh man it just seems so complicated and (00:28:35) then be but it's a conspiracy of (00:28:38) instinct it's it's it's almost like you (00:28:41) saw this with the co vacs like I I was (00:28:43) watching this and I was like what the (00:28:44) [ __ ] is going on like why is everybody (00:28:45) saying exactly the same thing are there (00:28:48) talking points that went out well of (00:28:49) course there were actually talking (00:28:50) points that went out and there was a (00:28:52) conspiracy to bribe hospitals and (00:28:54) churches and all these different groups (00:28:55) to like you know stick with the with the (00:28:58) message the same message but it was it (00:29:01) was more than that it was just like a (00:29:03) certain sort of person reaches the same (00:29:06) conclusion the people and really a lot (00:29:09) of it's economic it's like the people (00:29:11) who've derived the greatest benefit from (00:29:13) American society or Global Elite society (00:29:16) as it currently exists are almost to a (00:29:20) person the least productive people in (00:29:21) the (00:29:22) society people who like loan money at (00:29:26) Interest really I mean I guess there's a (00:29:28) role for finance I guess in a society (00:29:32) but tell me how people who loan money (00:29:33) for a living should be you know the most (00:29:37) revered and the most highly rewarded no (00:29:39) they probably shouldn't be actually the (00:29:41) people who make things who innovate in a (00:29:44) true sense who actually improve human (00:29:46) life people who say profound things (00:29:48) create beautiful things like they should (00:29:49) be (00:29:50) rewarded so it's all the the truth is (00:29:54) the people in charge are the least (00:29:55) impressive they're the least important (00:29:57) if they want away tomorrow if like I (00:30:00) don't know Susan Rice and Janet Yellen (00:30:04) the treasury secretar is like a like a (00:30:06) freaking [ __ ] and a like bad person if (00:30:09) she went away tomorrow would that like (00:30:11) would that be bad or like it wouldn't (00:30:12) have any make any difference she's never (00:30:14) done (00:30:15) anything and so that class of people (00:30:19) which is disproportionately (00:30:20) benefited from our system has a lot to (00:30:23) lose a lot the most to lose like if if (00:30:26) I'm a super competent diesel mechanic (00:30:30) you know diesel engines are going to be (00:30:31) around for a long time sorry you're not (00:30:33) going to do Long Haul Trucking on an (00:30:34) electric motor sorry just we're not (00:30:36) anytime soon so like if I can fix a (00:30:39) diesel engine like I just my value is (00:30:41) demonstrable probably not going to be (00:30:42) unemployed actually but if you're Janet (00:30:45) Yellen and you're like an economist who (00:30:47) knows nothing about economics and your (00:30:49) whole life is getting paid off by the (00:30:51) Banks which hers has been you're not (00:30:54) really needed actually you're a net (00:30:55) drain on society and so someone like (00:30:57) that has a lot to protect like a lot (00:31:00) like the (00:31:01) whole edifice of [ __ ] could just (00:31:04) like come crashing down on her right (00:31:06) yeah so she's a lot jumpier than your (00:31:08) average diesel mechanic why why do you (00:31:11) think I mean you're talking about how (00:31:13) old is Janet Yellen she's got to be (00:31:15) several hundred years old (00:31:17) at Janet Yellen who's like a criminal (00:31:20) and she literally was fed Shar and she (00:31:22) took payoffs from the banks really for (00:31:24) speeches why aren't they people like her (00:31:28) people like Pelosi people like Mitch (00:31:32) McConnell why what why don't they hit (00:31:35) this point where they're they go I'm (00:31:37) going to enjoy all of the corrupt money (00:31:40) that I've accumulated over the 80 years (00:31:43) that I've been doing this what why is (00:31:45) there ever a time when they when when (00:31:47) enough is enough for them I mean they're (00:31:49) going to well the worship of money is a (00:31:51) sin of course um but it's also a lie it (00:31:56) doesn't make you happy it doesn't f the (00:31:57) void doesn't get you to heaven and to (00:32:01) repeat the most tired of all cliches (00:32:02) that you never hear anymore you can't (00:32:04) take it with you yeah so um it's just a (00:32:06) lie it's a disease and it's a moral (00:32:09) disease and it's one that no one (00:32:10) mentions anymore it's a greed is not (00:32:12) only fine it's celebrated well it's (00:32:14) disgusting I'm just going to remind (00:32:15) everybody of that it's not bad to have (00:32:16) enough it's bad to have too much (00:32:19) actually and um but no one believes that (00:32:22) anymore at all yeah and it's considered (00:32:24) like you're a socialist or something if (00:32:26) you say greed is bad well no you're not (00:32:28) I'm is I hate socialism not a (00:32:31) socialist and thankfully I've been like (00:32:33) a public right-winger for so long I (00:32:34) don't think anyone thinks actually (00:32:35) thinks I'm a socialist I'm a right (00:32:36) winger I always have been I guess (00:32:37) whatever that means now but um but a (00:32:40) greed is bad it's not a virtue it's a (00:32:42) vice and they're all boted with greed of (00:32:44) course and they think that the more you (00:32:46) accumulate I don't know what happens you (00:32:48) become it's it's a actually it's a (00:32:50) function of power more power you have (00:32:52) the more you feel like God but you're (00:32:55) not God you're just like some ungainly (00:32:57) primate feeling his way through the dark (00:33:00) you know like we all are and um and (00:33:04) you'll you'll be negatively rewarded for (00:33:06) those attitudes at some point very soon (00:33:08) so it's sad on one level but it's also (00:33:10) if your whole leadership class is just (00:33:12) about serving itself it's it's all about (00:33:15) greed and hubris which it is um you're (00:33:18) going to have like really terrible (00:33:20) leadership and we do and it's only about (00:33:23) leadership by the way yeah I mean you're (00:33:26) in the military I don't need tell you (00:33:27) but bad leaders result in death like (00:33:30) that's obvious right it's less obvious (00:33:32) at the scale of like 350 million people (00:33:35) in our society but it's still true it's (00:33:37) true in the family a bad dad wrecks the (00:33:39) family wrecks his daughters yeah right y (00:33:43) very (00:33:44) true let's move into let's move into (00:33:47) your life story so we're going to start (00:33:50) at childhood yeah hit your news career (00:33:53) and then and then we got a whole bunch (00:33:55) of rabbit holes to go down great but (00:33:57) where'd you grow up (00:33:59) I was born in San Francisco California (00:34:00) Children's Hospital same hospital geogy (00:34:02) was born in not to brag in 1969 spring (00:34:06) um uh we moved to Los Angeles my (00:34:08) mother's from San Francisco my father's (00:34:09) from Boston moved to LA my dad worked (00:34:12) for ABC News in Los Angeles um when I (00:34:15) was like six my mom split and ultimately (00:34:19) moved to France I guess I never saw her (00:34:21) again what hold on what do you she just (00:34:23) left she left she left yeah when I was (00:34:27) six boohoo poor me how many uh one (00:34:31) brother who I'm very close to have (00:34:33) always been extremely close to my best (00:34:35) friend and uh who's a year and a half (00:34:38) younger than I am so we grew up with our (00:34:40) dad and we moved what did your mom did (00:34:43) she tell you she was leaving or you just (00:34:44) came home she was gone or she my dad (00:34:48) worked for ABC News and he had been (00:34:53) quite successful as a reporter and he (00:34:56) got into some dispute with management (00:34:58) which is a family (00:34:59) trait (00:35:01) and (00:35:02) basically um actually was pretty funny (00:35:05) he you know in television you get free (00:35:07) clothes from the Wardrobe (00:35:09) department and so you get measured for (00:35:11) suits every year (00:35:12) whatever and he never got his suits and (00:35:16) so he called the Taylor I'll never (00:35:18) forget this when this happened I was in (00:35:19) first grade and he calls the Taylor he's (00:35:21) like are my suits coming where my suits (00:35:24) and the guy you know six weeks ago and (00:35:25) the guy's like actually I've been told (00:35:26) not to make your suits by management cuz (00:35:27) you're getting get fired that's (00:35:30) television for you you know you learn (00:35:31) from the tailor you're getting fired so (00:35:33) he got (00:35:34) fired and and he was like he got a job (00:35:37) in San Diego at a CBS affiliate in San (00:35:39) Diego called (00:35:41) kfmb and we moved my brother and I and (00:35:46) our housan and the dogs or Springer (00:35:50) Spaniels we like got in the car and (00:35:52) drove to San Diego and my mom just (00:35:53) wasn't there and we lived in a hotel for (00:35:55) a while and um for quite a while and (00:35:59) then we moved to a town called La Hoya (00:36:01) which is a little bit north of San Diego (00:36:02) very pretty town and when I was in first (00:36:05) grade and I live with my dad and my (00:36:08) brother and our dogs and we had like the (00:36:10) best time I mean it was sad one of the (00:36:12) reasons I don't talk about it very often (00:36:13) because it sounds like oh I had such a (00:36:16) hard life but I really had a great life (00:36:17) and I love my dad I worship my dad and I (00:36:19) still (00:36:20) do and I see him every day and I love (00:36:23) him and uh and my brother I always love (00:36:26) my brother so um we had really happy (00:36:28) life and quite eccentric but quite happy (00:36:32) and then what did I mean what would your (00:36:34) what would what would your dad say when (00:36:36) you would ask where where he never (00:36:38) attacked her um he never attacked her he (00:36:41) would you know she just kind of split (00:36:43) and she you know whatever I don't want (00:36:45) to I don't want to get into the wo was (00:36:48) me stuff she was I don't think she liked (00:36:50) us for some reason and never not clear (00:36:52) but she was she was pretty clear about (00:36:54) that and I you know she was involved in (00:36:56) drugs and alcohol and stuff and um was (00:36:59) quite she was a sculptor so she was (00:37:02) pretty eccentric and our family was (00:37:05) definitely not like every other family (00:37:06) at all and but I thought in a good way (00:37:09) but definitely more kind of cerebral and (00:37:13) like you know we didn't play sports or (00:37:15) go to sports games or watch television (00:37:17) we would just have like extremely long (00:37:19) dinners with random people always in the (00:37:21) house and talk about books and ideas and (00:37:23) the news and all this stuff and like you (00:37:26) know it's just a different time (00:37:27) everybody Smoked Cigarettes (00:37:28) everyone you know liked art and it was a (00:37:31) kind of world that just just absolutely (00:37:33) does not exist now but I really enjoyed (00:37:36) it but there was um you know a high (00:37:39) level of eccentricity was (00:37:42) tolerated you know um and I think that's (00:37:45) very good it makes creativity (00:37:47) possible um you know like we yeah it was (00:37:51) just different different attitudes very (00:37:52) very different attitudes all gone now (00:37:53) but it was it was it was cool I had a (00:37:56) wonderful childhood actually and I (00:37:58) became extremely close to my father and (00:37:59) my brother and my father my mother was (00:38:02) from a a very affine family my father (00:38:05) was an orphan and uh who had lived at (00:38:08) the home for little Wanderers in Boston (00:38:10) as a child you know in the early 40s and (00:38:12) so your mother came from a Alon family (00:38:15) and my father was a completely self-made (00:38:17) guy who you know never finished high (00:38:19) school and joined the Marine Corps at 17 (00:38:21) and was a very tough human being like (00:38:24) actually tough not fake tough but legit (00:38:26) tough and but a very decent guy in a (00:38:29) hyper intense intellectual and (00:38:31) self-educated but with the motivation (00:38:33) that comes from knowing that you didn't (00:38:35) like graduate high school he went to (00:38:37) jail and so he was like he keep a book (00:38:39) on on the dashboard of his car for red (00:38:41) lights like he's that guy and um just (00:38:45) very intellectually engaged I mean he (00:38:47) could sit at a table and often did you (00:38:49) know smoking cigarettes recounting a (00:38:51) book he had just read like in detail and (00:38:53) my brother and I would just be (00:38:55) Spellbound and we would have I mean I'm (00:38:58) not joking we would have like 6-hour (00:38:59) dinners not kidding and it was just (00:39:02) great it was great and uh and a very (00:39:04) outdoorsy person loved camping and (00:39:06) nature and hunting and fishing and very (00:39:08) much about nature and dogs and and (00:39:11) books so that was a wonderful childhood (00:39:13) he got remarried to an amazing (00:39:16) woman who just passed away and um really (00:39:20) a beautiful soul and how old were you (00:39:23) when he got remarried like 10 maybe (00:39:25) something like that I think I was 10 and (00:39:29) uh he very much reserved the right to (00:39:32) raise us he had very eccentric opinions (00:39:35) not eccentric he turned out to be right (00:39:36) about almost everything but he had a (00:39:38) deep distrust of (00:39:40) school he was an actual intellectual (00:39:42) like is an actual intellectual like deep (00:39:44) knowledge and but a freeth thinker and (00:39:47) he thought that Conformity made you dumb (00:39:50) and you should be free to explore like (00:39:52) what the truth is and um so you know he (00:39:56) was totally opposed to school like (00:39:58) completely opposed to school very (00:40:00) unimpressed that I went to college never (00:40:02) I don't think he know knew the name he (00:40:03) paid the bill which I was grateful for (00:40:05) but he never like asked like what (00:40:07) college do you go to or what's going on (00:40:09) in college you know it's like it was (00:40:11) just like it was like the unspoken thing (00:40:13) it was almost like I was like you know I (00:40:16) don't know having some creepy sex thing (00:40:18) in my life don't talk about it um he was (00:40:21) not impressed by anything fattish or (00:40:26) anything you know group think the herd (00:40:28) Instinct just made him sick he was like (00:40:30) a true individual probably not right (00:40:32) about everything but right about a lot (00:40:33) of the big things and completely (00:40:36) unafraid to take well really of anything (00:40:39) but physically unafraid he was like the (00:40:42) only dad in La Hoya who would like you (00:40:45) know like punch you out of the red light (00:40:46) if you got was like I just like not you (00:40:48) know that didn't happen where we lived (00:40:50) it was a very affluent community and a (00:40:52) lot of polite people and and my father (00:40:54) was you know not someone to try with but (00:40:58) very very kind to my brother and me very (00:41:00) kind totally tribal in his thinking like (00:41:02) there's our family and there's everyone (00:41:03) else like total Mafia out Outlook like (00:41:07) complete not in a bad way like not (00:41:09) wanting to get in anyone's business but (00:41:10) like [ __ ] with the family you die that (00:41:13) that kind of attitude like it's US (00:41:14) versus everybody else which was a great (00:41:16) way actually to grow up so anyway he got (00:41:19) remarried and then in (00:41:22) 1984 I think then when I was a child I (00:41:26) went to boarding school on the East (00:41:28) Coast when I was uh (00:41:32) 14 I went to boarding school he sent me (00:41:34) to boarding school uh in New England (00:41:35) where he was from because he was like (00:41:37) get out of this fake inherited money (00:41:40) world go be cold well I went to another (00:41:42) inherited money world of course in New (00:41:44) England but but he we had a house in (00:41:46) Maine where we spent the summer and he (00:41:48) believed in like cold climate hard work (00:41:51) he's extremely Swedish so like you know (00:41:53) it's good to be around snow and pine (00:41:55) trees and like you should suffer you (00:41:57) know that kind of stuff so (00:41:59) um went to boarding school and then (00:42:03) he uh ran for mayor of San Diego for (00:42:06) some reason and lost and (00:42:10) um then immediately after that went to (00:42:12) work for the US government and worked in (00:42:16) and around the US government for like (00:42:18) the next 35 years what was he doing in (00:42:20) government he went in to run something (00:42:23) called Voice of America and the idea was (00:42:25) he'd been a journalist this is in the (00:42:27) regular Administration and this was our (00:42:31) sort of voice to the world Voice of (00:42:34) America was like the you know big radio (00:42:36) broadcaster was really an instrument of (00:42:38) the Intel agencies which I didn't quite (00:42:39) realize at the time but um so he ran (00:42:42) that for years (00:42:44) and was this was this Mocking Bird by (00:42:47) chance I mean I you know I don't know (00:42:49) it's what's so funny is you don't get (00:42:52) things as a child and I I so revered and (00:42:55) respected and do rever and respect my (00:42:57) father that (00:42:59) you know I don't know um but I have no (00:43:02) idea but I know that when the Iran (00:43:04) Contra thing happened he got caught up (00:43:06) in (00:43:07) that sort of I mean I was in boarding (00:43:09) school I guess when that happened but I (00:43:11) remember reading it like my dad's name (00:43:13) like what you know broadcasting messages (00:43:15) on behalf of the contras or something (00:43:17) like that and I remember saying to my (00:43:18) father like what and he's like that's (00:43:20) all (00:43:21) [ __ ] probably not a [ __ ] (00:43:24) whatever anyway just a wonderful man I (00:43:26) had lunch with them every day of my (00:43:28) adult I every week of my adult life I (00:43:30) always had lunch with them every Friday (00:43:32) and we just had we'd gamble for lunch (00:43:34) always bring Dice and we'd Gamble and (00:43:37) ate at the same place same table for (00:43:39) decades and uh just a great guy very (00:43:42) earthy extremely powerful life (00:43:46) force the one story that's sort of not (00:43:49) to go on about it I've often thought (00:43:50) about writing a book about it because it (00:43:51) was so unusual but then I was like I (00:43:53) don't want to do that because it's too (00:43:54) personal but (00:43:56) um this was my father in one short story (00:43:59) when I was in college I think I was a (00:44:01) junior in college he had been snoring (00:44:03) and my stepmom said you're snoring my (00:44:05) father's a big man you know prone to (00:44:06) overeating just like me and he was (00:44:10) snoring really bad and she's finally (00:44:11) like you got to go to the there's (00:44:12) something going out here snoring and he (00:44:14) hates going to the doctor he's like the (00:44:15) only one of his friends still alive he (00:44:16) never went to the doctor smoked (00:44:17) unfiltered cigarettes his whole life he (00:44:19) was like he's fine I'm fine you know (00:44:20) he's that guy so he finally goes to the (00:44:22) doctor and the doctor looks down his (00:44:23) throat and goes holy [ __ ] and gives him (00:44:24) an emergency (00:44:25) tracheotomy in the examining room (00:44:27) because he had such a huge tumor in his (00:44:30) throat and he had was such a heavy (00:44:32) smoker they're like you got throat (00:44:33) cancer well turned out to be (00:44:35) tuberculosis that he caught in China but (00:44:36) they didn't know that at the time so I (00:44:38) get a call at school your father is (00:44:40) throat (00:44:41) cancer you know and he's in surgery so (00:44:44) I'm in school in I'm in I was in college (00:44:46) yeah I was in Connecticut I fly down to (00:44:48) Washington I get to the hospital just as (00:44:52) my father's getting out of out of the (00:44:53) recovery room my stepmom's a was really (00:44:56) the kindest person I've ever met and um (00:44:59) really a great person he really loved (00:45:00) her and so he's getting wheeled out and (00:45:02) he's in this gurnie and he's got of (00:45:04) course he can't talk he's got a hole in (00:45:06) his throat he's recovering from surgery (00:45:08) and my brother and I are there like you (00:45:10) know trying to keep from you know crying (00:45:11) in front of my dad but like our dad's (00:45:13) dying you know he's got throat cancer (00:45:15) holy [ __ ] out of (00:45:16) nowhere and he sees us and he you know (00:45:19) he's like hey guys you know like we (00:45:21) can't talk hey guys and he looks down (00:45:23) and he sees his (00:45:24) wife and he sees her I'm watching his (00:45:26) face he sees her butt and he reached out (00:45:28) and grabs her (00:45:33) butt just thought he's just an (00:45:37) animal it's like he's just learned that (00:45:39) he's going to like die of throat cancer (00:45:42) but he just can't he just couldn't (00:45:44) control himself and I saw that I thought (00:45:47) I said to my brother I like that man is (00:45:48) the strongest life force of anyone I've (00:45:51) ever met and he's just you can't defeat (00:45:53) him doesn't matter he could be in prison (00:45:55) and he'd still be the same man so I I (00:45:57) don't know why that the strength of (00:45:59) spirit required to grab your wife's butt (00:46:02) you get out front surgery I just think (00:46:05) just an incredible illustration of who (00:46:07) he is so anyway I admire him what kind (00:46:09) of stuff were you into as a kid were you (00:46:11) into sports or (00:46:14) outdoors I love the outdoors and we went (00:46:17) you know we spent the summer in this (00:46:18) little town in Maine um so weird that we (00:46:21) did that we're the only people who went (00:46:22) from La Hoya California to Western Maine (00:46:24) which is not fashionable at all um but (00:46:26) my father had had gone there as a child (00:46:28) on hunting trips with his adopted father (00:46:30) so he liked it so we went there but um I (00:46:34) we lived on the beach so I was into (00:46:35) surfing I was passionately into (00:46:38) marijuana you know as you are when you (00:46:40) grew up in Southern California in the (00:46:42) 70s and ' (00:46:43) 80s I no longer I think it's stupid now (00:46:45) but I was into it then I loved reading (00:46:48) there was a huge premium on reading in (00:46:49) our house like read books remember my (00:46:52) father once said of my mother like the (00:46:54) one criticism he leveled against my real (00:46:56) mother who was smart um actually after (00:47:00) she died in France I didn't know she (00:47:01) lived in France but she died and um all (00:47:05) this drama happened after she died but (00:47:07) the point is I got uh a couple of like (00:47:11) correspondents from her whatever I (00:47:12) really didn't know much about her but I (00:47:14) got all this correspondence this was 13 (00:47:16) years ago when she died and I was like (00:47:18) wow she was really smart I didn't quite (00:47:20) quite realize that and so I said to my (00:47:22) father like wow I got all this (00:47:24) correspondence from her real mother and (00:47:26) pretty high cute person wow I didn't (00:47:28) know that and he goes yeah she read (00:47:33) magazines like the most like she read (00:47:37) magazines like what a waste you know (00:47:40) what I mean she read (00:47:41) magazines like it was the New Yorker but (00:47:43) it's just a magazine people read books (00:47:46) like serious people read (00:47:49) books so and I'm the beneficiary of his (00:47:52) Library which was vast and and the word (00:47:55) eclectic is overused but it literally is (00:47:57) e IC it's like (00:47:58) crazy and just every interesting book (00:48:00) ever actually read and underlined like (00:48:03) not these are not decorative books these (00:48:04) are like books he read wow on every (00:48:06) topic and not just books but like (00:48:08) transcripts of Trials he's very (00:48:11) interested in a couple of topics and (00:48:13) really like American Indians he's really (00:48:15) interested in the Indian Wars and on (00:48:17) different tribes he knew a lot about it (00:48:20) passionately interested in the Lincoln (00:48:22) assassination for some reason and had (00:48:24) the transcripts of you know Mrs sharat's (00:48:26) tribe (00:48:28) and uh like actually the B the transcrip (00:48:31) like bound from 1865 and just a lot of (00:48:34) stuff like that and uh he's like in in a (00:48:37) in a more honest world he would qualify (00:48:39) I think as a historian but anyway yeah (00:48:42) she read (00:48:44) magazines so funny wow that's the (00:48:46) meanest thing she was like addicted to (00:48:47) drugs and she abandoned her family she (00:48:49) read (00:48:51) magazines if I remember correctly you (00:48:54) wanted to you were trying to get into (00:48:57) CIA yes Vladimir Putin reminded me I (00:49:00) don't know how you knew that yeah I (00:49:01) applied to CIA when I was a senior in (00:49:03) college what did you want to do for the (00:49:05) CIA operations yeah it was completely (00:49:07) different completely different (00:49:09) organization well who knows what it was (00:49:10) actually I don't know I mean I was (00:49:11) operating on the basis of a lot of my (00:49:14) father's friends served as operations (00:49:16) officers some really wonderful guys um (00:49:19) who I guess I probably shouldn't name (00:49:20) but who were always at our house and (00:49:22) were just legit interesting people and (00:49:24) smart people um but you know everything (00:49:28) changed after 911 you worked for CIA so (00:49:30) I don't need to tell you but I think (00:49:32) that the explicit paramilitary part was (00:49:34) much smaller and these were like (00:49:36) spycraft guys a lot of them probably (00:49:38) involved in who knows what they're (00:49:39) involved in but they were definitely (00:49:42) literate and smart and interesting and (00:49:43) they lived in all these countries and we (00:49:44) had just traveled a lot and my dad was (00:49:46) really interested in the world and um (00:49:49) you know we never like went to Florence (00:49:51) or something we always would go to weird (00:49:52) places and he was just interested in how (00:49:54) people lived in different cultures and (00:49:55) learning about him and he's just (00:49:56) interested in everything (00:49:58) amazing teacher so um these guys had (00:50:00) lived that life you know they had been (00:50:03) there when this happened or that (00:50:04) happened or you'd been you know chief of (00:50:06) station in Jerusalem or something it's (00:50:08) like these guys have really lived a life (00:50:09) and I thought I want to live that life I (00:50:10) want an interesting life that's what I (00:50:11) wanted I want an interesting life and we (00:50:14) grew up in a pretty affluent (00:50:15) circumstances not crazy private plane r (00:50:17) or anything but you know I didn't worry (00:50:18) about money that wasn't really a factor (00:50:21) no one ever talked about money which is (00:50:22) one of the Privileges of having it you (00:50:24) don't talk about it and in our culture (00:50:26) you don't talk about it at all and any (00:50:27) circumstances so um I didn't really (00:50:29) think about money at all I was just like (00:50:30) I want an interesting life so I applied (00:50:33) to CIA and that whole application (00:50:35) process then this was (00:50:36) 1990 and I should just say for the (00:50:39) record that I like had no idea what the (00:50:42) CIA was actually and I didn't believe (00:50:44) any of the I think kerit Roosevelt (00:50:47) actually lived right down the street (00:50:48) from us are you kidding no oh man that's (00:50:51) cool but I didn't know but that's just (00:50:52) the world you live in in northwest DC (00:50:54) like I didn't I never thought any of it (00:50:56) was bad and the people who did think it (00:50:58) was bad were like these fervid left-wing (00:51:01) America haters and I was like [ __ ] those (00:51:02) people like they don't they're all gome (00:51:03) Chomsky type they don't know (00:51:05) anything and I was a child and I was (00:51:07) just dismissive and the cold war was (00:51:09) going on so it was really a binary it (00:51:11) was like are you for the US or the (00:51:12) Soviet Union well that was not a hard (00:51:14) one for us we're for the United (00:51:16) States and so when I applied to CIA and (00:51:19) I've taken a lot of crap including from (00:51:21) Putin like oh you're from a CIA family (00:51:23) well yeah obviously my father worked in (00:51:26) conjunction with CIA I mean that's what (00:51:27) that is um and I tried to join the CIA (00:51:30) but I'm not being false about it I am a (00:51:32) sworn enemy of the CIA at this point no (00:51:34) doubt about that I've been the target (00:51:36) actually uh repeatedly so you know I'm (00:51:40) not ashamed to say any of this I'm not (00:51:42) some secret agent or something and I (00:51:45) would have been terrible as an (00:51:46) operations officer because I'm not good (00:51:48) at keeping secrets I hate bureaucracy I (00:51:50) just wanted a life that was interesting (00:51:52) I wanted to see stuff I didn't want to (00:51:55) run anything I still don't (00:51:57) I just wanted to see stuff I wanted to (00:51:59) end my life at the table with my (00:52:02) children and say you know I was there (00:52:03) you I was actually there when that (00:52:04) happened you know and it was interesting (00:52:06) and like the version you've heard is not (00:52:07) quite right cuz I was there that's what (00:52:09) I wanted out of my life and I got it but (00:52:12) in another way so I got ding from ca for (00:52:14) drugs I'll be totally honest I had done (00:52:16) cocaine within the last calendar year (00:52:19) because I was in college and I was like (00:52:20) an idiot and there were lots of drugs (00:52:21) and I did drugs I wasn't a drug addict (00:52:23) but I did drugs and the rule was at the (00:52:25) time at least this this what they told (00:52:27) me who knows what the truth (00:52:30) was like you've you know we have a rule (00:52:32) that if you've done certain drugs within (00:52:34) 12 months you can't join I personally (00:52:37) think that the personality assessment (00:52:39) tests I took a lot of them I'm sure (00:52:41) you've taken these with like a thousand (00:52:44) questions and you have to answer true or (00:52:46) false do you remember that you got to (00:52:49) think about fuzzy bunnies pass that so (00:52:52) funny one of I'll never forget this (00:52:54) going home they would literally tell us (00:52:55) that guys (00:52:58) just think about fuzzy bunnies when (00:53:00) they're taking this test those tests are (00:53:02) insane and I took mine at like (00:53:04) Georgetown or GW University Auditorium (00:53:07) with all these most of them are military (00:53:08) guys actually trying to move over into (00:53:10) operations at CIA and they told us they (00:53:13) sent me a letter said bring a number one (00:53:16) pencil which was a mind [ __ ] but I (00:53:18) didn't realize that so I say to my (00:53:19) father I have to bring a number one (00:53:20) pencil he's like well you better go to (00:53:22) the stationary store we lived in (00:53:24) Georgetown in you know on Wisconsin (00:53:25) Avenue and see if that's walking there I (00:53:27) was like I'd like a number one pencil (00:53:28) please and I'm like there is no such (00:53:30) thing as a number one pencil so I go (00:53:31) home and I say to my father I'm like I (00:53:33) couldn't get a number one pencil and (00:53:34) he's like well just try it with the (00:53:36) number two pencil so I show up and we (00:53:38) sit down in this giant Auditorium to (00:53:39) take all these tests and like all the (00:53:41) military guys you know they're so like (00:53:42) got to follow the (00:53:44) rules excuse me sir I couldn't find a (00:53:47) number one pencil and everyone's like I (00:53:48) couldn't either you (00:53:50) know and I I'll never forget that CIA (00:53:52) guy administering the test is like you (00:53:54) couldn't find a number one pencil okay (00:53:56) well then I guess a number two will do (00:53:59) and I do think it was like an elaborate (00:54:01) you know mind [ __ ] but anyway you take (00:54:03) all these you answer these questions as (00:54:05) you know and I'll never forget one of (00:54:06) them was and they're they're repetitive (00:54:08) they ask you the same question in a (00:54:09) different form and one of them was I am (00:54:12) fascinated by fire I'll never forget (00:54:15) that and I went home and I said to my (00:54:17) father like pop one of the questions was (00:54:19) I am fascinated by fire like you'd have (00:54:22) to be a [ __ ] lunatic to say yes cuz (00:54:24) you're clearly a psycho right and my who (00:54:27) knew a lot about the subject goes yeah (00:54:28) but the psychos don't know their psychos (00:54:31) so it reveals like through repetition (00:54:33) and the time there's a time limit you (00:54:34) you don't have time to think about it (00:54:35) you just have to like well you know all (00:54:36) this of course but it was amazing anyway (00:54:39) I didn't get into CIA and thank God I (00:54:41) would have been awful and um I don't (00:54:44) agree with the mission so it the whole (00:54:45) thing would have been terrible so I'm so (00:54:47) grateful I didn't and then I was getting (00:54:49) married and I didn't have a college (00:54:50) degree I was a senior in college and I (00:54:52) was like and my father-in-law who a good (00:54:54) man with a job was like you need to have (00:54:57) a job before you marry my daughter so I (00:54:59) went to my father as usual and I was (00:55:00) like and I applied to work in a boarding (00:55:02) school in Morocco and they were like (00:55:05) no I just wanted to do something (00:55:07) interesting and he's like you should go (00:55:08) into journalism I did that I didn't have (00:55:11) any credentials and but I could write I (00:55:13) was (00:55:14) literate and I said okay so he got me a (00:55:16) job at a his assistant's wife worked at (00:55:21) this magazine so I got a job as a (00:55:25) basically a fact Checker at this (00:55:26) magazine and I like loved it right away (00:55:28) that was August of I got back from my (00:55:30) honeymoon I went to work I'd never (00:55:32) really had a job when I went on my (00:55:33) honeymoon I worked at a gas station (00:55:35) where' did you me your wife first day of (00:55:37) 10th grade at the boarding school that (00:55:39) we went to her dad was (00:55:41) Headmaster and I had been there in nth (00:55:43) grade and she showed up in 10th Grade we (00:55:45) had a switch of Headmasters and I was (00:55:48) standing on the quad I'll never forget I (00:55:49) was like oh that holy [ __ ] that girl's (00:55:51) cute (00:55:53) wow and uh so I was just on that like (00:55:59) that was just on that like right away (00:56:03) September 23rd 1984 I'll never forget (00:56:05) that I was like wow I was actually (00:56:06) dating someone else but I was like (00:56:08) that's the girl wow you remember the day (00:56:11) that's awesome September 23rd 1984 I'll (00:56:14) never forget it and I was like a very (00:56:16) non-ideal person I mean I'm like kind of (00:56:18) an [ __ ] now I was really an [ __ ] (00:56:20) then like actual it's like super (00:56:22) arrogant (00:56:23) dumb you know doing drugs just being (00:56:26) like a compl complete overbearing (00:56:28) jerk arrogant really arrogant and uh (00:56:32) which is my nature I try to fight it but (00:56:34) um yeah but we just had this weird (00:56:36) chemistry so it it worked (00:56:39) what you mentioned you into drugs you're (00:56:42) 22 years sober congratulations yeah uh (00:56:46) what was the what was it that got you (00:56:50) sober was it a scare did you hit rock (00:56:52) bottom I didn't really I mean I was (00:56:54) hosting Crossfire actually at the time (00:56:56) and and so I had been (00:56:58) successful um young and it wasn't really (00:57:01) drugs I mean I I was not you know I did (00:57:04) a lot of drugs but that's just because (00:57:05) of the world that I was in like that was (00:57:07) not I mean it's embarrassing to say it (00:57:09) now because drugs are so clearly bad (00:57:13) like really bad and all these people now (00:57:15) die of drugs and that was not the case (00:57:17) when I was a kid like drug addicts died (00:57:19) of drugs junkies died of overdoses but (00:57:22) like no one you'd ever know would ever (00:57:24) die of drugs at this point I know a lot (00:57:26) of people about of drugs so it's it was (00:57:27) it's a different landscape it's a (00:57:28) different attitude now so it's (00:57:31) embarrassing to say that but I was not a (00:57:32) drug addict I just was like into (00:57:34) adventure and experimenting with stuff (00:57:35) and the world I was in that was pretty (00:57:38) much acceptable I hate to say it but it (00:57:40) was true that's just true so same with (00:57:42) cigarette smok excuse me cigarette (00:57:44) smoking was encouraged so it was (00:57:47) different time but it wasn't the drugs (00:57:49) it was that though you know like some (00:57:51) drugs really wear you out like cocaine (00:57:54) you know not good and and hard to live a (00:57:57) productive life if you're like going to (00:57:58) bed at 7:00 in the morning or whatever (00:58:00) which I didn't do a ton but you know (00:58:02) some um but it was booze that is what (00:58:06) got me and it was just you know just (00:58:08) Progressive I was (00:58:10) 33 and I just I mean I had my wife was (00:58:14) pregnant with our fourth (00:58:17) child and uh I was fairly functional I (00:58:20) mean I did a daily TV show and was (00:58:23) fairly well known kind of famous (00:58:25) actually at that point and so you know (00:58:28) kind of killing it (00:58:30) but I do think the physiology of it (00:58:33) which I don't understand really but it (00:58:35) if that's real like your body responds (00:58:37) to alcohol differently as you age and I (00:58:39) would start to get these hangovers it (00:58:40) was debilitating and then and I'm busy (00:58:43) I've got a lot of children I've got (00:58:44) stuff to do and I would just like not (00:58:46) hesitate to have a cocktail or three in (00:58:49) the morning I just wouldn't I'm just (00:58:51) like a no dick around kind of guy I (00:58:52) guess and I don't feel good so like (00:58:56) there there's a screwdriver for that and (00:58:59) um and that's a very bad pattern to get (00:59:01) into obviously so but anyway I I quit (00:59:04) when I was sitting at my desk on Sunday (00:59:06) morning um and I at this point I I we (00:59:09) had gotten an ice (00:59:10) maker in a refrigerator which we' never (00:59:13) had and that's a if you're struggling (00:59:15) with drinking don't get an ice maker cuz (00:59:16) it's just too easy like where you go and (00:59:19) you click the yeah we don't even have (00:59:21) one now actually never I don't know why (00:59:24) we're sort of low Tech on kitchen (00:59:25) equipment but whatever in this one house (00:59:27) that we had we got an ice maker and I (00:59:29) was like wow look at that clink clink (00:59:32) clink clink clink and then you could (00:59:33) like someone taught me about Scotch I (00:59:35) knew nothing about Scotch I was always a (00:59:37) bourbon guy or whatever but someone I (00:59:39) sat and drank a quart of scotch with a (00:59:40) friend of mine he's like Scotch is (00:59:41) really good just drink a quart of it so (00:59:43) we did we're up in Maine it didn't (00:59:44) matter you know it was in the summertime (00:59:46) but then I got back to Washington in (00:59:48) late August and or mid August and you (00:59:51) know I have this job and then I get home (00:59:52) from the job it's like click click well (00:59:54) I'll try some scotch and the next thing (00:59:56) you know you're like shitfaced at home (00:59:59) and partying was like that's not good (01:00:01) and I had a couple of moments where I (01:00:04) lost one actually at the White House (01:00:06) Christmas party in uh (01:00:10) 2001 I got too drunk to talk and stuff (01:00:12) like that it's just embarrassing but I (01:00:14) woke up this one morning at the last day (01:00:16) of August (01:00:17) 2002 and my wife was 10 days away from (01:00:20) giving birth to our fourth child and I (01:00:22) was sitting at my desk like smoking a (01:00:24) cigarette at home feeling (01:00:27) bad and I just heard this voice I don't (01:00:29) know if it was a voice it was from God (01:00:32) and it was the clearest possible (01:00:33) instruction if you keep doing this you (01:00:36) will lose your wife and (01:00:38) children and I haven't always been a (01:00:40) great husband or father but I've always (01:00:42) wanted to be I've always really cared a (01:00:44) lot and it's easy to care about people (01:00:46) who are you know loving and fun to be (01:00:49) with as my family is so it's it's not (01:00:50) hard but I I've always cared a lot and I (01:00:54) just had this dead certainty (01:00:56) that if I kept on this path I would lose (01:00:58) my wife and children no one had (01:00:59) complained about my drinking (01:01:02) really what were you doing when you got (01:01:05) that voice when you heard it I was (01:01:07) sitting at my desk smoking a camel (01:01:10) unfiltered I'll never forget it looking (01:01:11) out my window at my (01:01:13) lawn and feeling just like enervated and (01:01:17) crappy and cloudy as you do when you're (01:01:19) hung over and I just had this feeling (01:01:21) and I was like wow I think I I'm an (01:01:24) alcoholic I had lost control I I'm (01:01:25) leaving a few things out nothing (01:01:27) dramatic but I didn't crash a car but I (01:01:29) I I blacked out a couple of times which (01:01:31) I didn't I didn't know what that was (01:01:33) like actually black out I always hear (01:01:34) people say that but like I didn't (01:01:35) remember how I got home from a (01:01:36) restaurant for example with my college (01:01:39) roommate or I would I had a friend over (01:01:41) another college roommate that summer (01:01:44) wonderful guy his wife and children just (01:01:46) a beautiful family and Beautiful People (01:01:49) great people like not people you'd want (01:01:50) to be like snarfing drunk in front of (01:01:53) and I remember sitting in my backyard in (01:01:55) Washington and and making gen and tonics (01:01:58) I'm quite a good gen and tonic (01:01:59) maker and but it's the kind of thing you (01:02:01) want to have a couple cocktails with (01:02:02) your buddy and his wonderful wife and (01:02:05) they're just really great people and (01:02:07) next thing I know I'm like shitfaced I'm (01:02:09) like I don't really actually want to be (01:02:10) shitfaced I can't believe I got [ __ ] (01:02:11) like what is that I was losing control (01:02:13) mhm this is all (01:02:15) very and then I you know some other (01:02:18) stuff like that or I stay you know I had (01:02:21) a friend in town and he's like let's do (01:02:22) a couple lines and you next thing I know (01:02:24) it's like 700 in the morning and I'm (01:02:26) like what I can't do this [ __ ] anyway (01:02:28) the bottom line is I uh I quit I never (01:02:32) had another drink after that and I went (01:02:34) into like not medically serious but for (01:02:37) me pretty serious (01:02:38) withdrawals and that I was like what I'm (01:02:42) having alcohol with I knew nothing about (01:02:43) this okay I didn't know that there were (01:02:45) alcohol withdrawals like I just didn't (01:02:46) know you'd think cuz of my mother I (01:02:47) would know this but I didn't know (01:02:49) anything and and my brother was a you (01:02:53) know a problem Drinker also but I didn't (01:02:55) think of myself as is a problem Drinker (01:02:56) I was like well my brother's out of (01:02:58) control he later quit too but when I (01:03:00) started to go into withdrawals from (01:03:02) alcohol like shaking hands can't sleep (01:03:04) sweating a lot and I have to host this (01:03:07) TV show and I'm like I was addicted to (01:03:09) alcohol holy smokes like how did I not (01:03:11) know (01:03:13) that um and then so I never drank again (01:03:16) and and I and unlike most people who (01:03:18) quit or many people who quit I've never (01:03:20) wanted to drink again you know I just (01:03:22) never I once I got past like the first (01:03:24) six months (01:03:27) um I I just felt so much better I was so (01:03:30) grateful I'm so great I I've enjoyed (01:03:32) being sober a lot and that's a huge (01:03:35) blessing that's not for me it's not like (01:03:37) I have a especially strong character I (01:03:39) don't if you put a tray of Fig Newtons (01:03:42) right here you would see how weak I (01:03:43) really am it's just on this one thing (01:03:46) the booze and drugs it's like I don't (01:03:48) want that at all and so I never went to (01:03:51) AA I didn't go to AA I've been to one AA (01:03:54) meeting in my life and was 3 weeks ago (01:03:58) and it was because Russell Brand who I (01:04:00) really love was at my house and we're he (01:04:02) goes to AA all the time and I said why (01:04:04) do you go to AA and he's like I just (01:04:06) love the people and people are so (01:04:08) honest and I thought I said to him I (01:04:10) thought you went to AA to keep yourself (01:04:12) from drinking again like you're right on (01:04:13) the edge which I'm not at all like you (01:04:14) couldn't force feed me alcohol like I (01:04:16) just don't want it and he's like no no (01:04:18) no go be for the for the the beauty of (01:04:21) being around truth and people who are (01:04:23) just totally unafraid to say who they (01:04:25) really are and there's something (01:04:28) wonderful about that that's like the (01:04:29) best thing there is that's that's (01:04:31) Liberation like that's actual (01:04:33) Liberation and I was like I got to go to (01:04:36) AA so I went to an AA meeting and I (01:04:38) loved it and I'm going back I just I've (01:04:40) been traveling and all this stuff but I (01:04:42) ran into a buddy of mine literally on (01:04:44) the road trucks parked next to each (01:04:45) other he like going to AA and I was like (01:04:49) I'm going to I'm going to go you know (01:04:50) text me I had to travel but I was like (01:04:52) when I'm back next week just text me (01:04:54) when you go I want to go you know (01:04:56) whatever it's not that interesting but (01:04:58) that's my experience of it I was (01:04:59) delivered from (01:05:02) that um and I I don't know why but I'm (01:05:05) just so so grateful and my brother too (01:05:08) my brother was an actual Drinker like (01:05:10) whoa I mean no more than I was but he's (01:05:13) like way more boisterous and like (01:05:14) Swedish than I am and he's he's a punch (01:05:16) you out guy and uh wonderful person but (01:05:20) he woke up one morning he's like I'm (01:05:21) never drinking again and he never did (01:05:23) WOW almost 20 years ago so it's like we (01:05:25) both have been so blessed that way you (01:05:28) know there's a lot of people out there (01:05:30) struggling with addiction and alcoholism (01:05:32) so do you have any any words of wisdom (01:05:36) for somebody that's looking to make the (01:05:38) change well I was dealing with this this (01:05:40) morning yeah it's one of the great (01:05:43) privilege no I I di there's no formula (01:05:45) right but um re rehab doesn't work for (01:05:49) most people of course at all it works (01:05:52) for some but um I was just giving (01:05:55) someone advice about this which I do a (01:05:58) lot because I really care about it I (01:05:59) love sobriety I really love it I know (01:06:01) it's not a sacrifice for me it's like (01:06:02) the greatest thing that there is so um (01:06:06) I'm in a good place to tell people about (01:06:07) it because I really believe it and I got (01:06:10) off so easy uh I really did I was I got (01:06:13) off easy oh my gosh uh but what I always (01:06:16) say is quitting drinking is a huge (01:06:18) decision it's not it's not it's it's a (01:06:21) huge life change everything changes when (01:06:23) you do that a b it is can be extremely (01:06:27) painful physically which nobody ever (01:06:29) talks about they're always like oh you (01:06:31) drink to whatever yeah for sure you (01:06:34) drink because you're insecure you're (01:06:36) afraid you're lying you're a narcissist (01:06:39) drinking makes you a narcissist it's all (01:06:40) about you right but another reason that (01:06:44) no one ever mentions that you drink is (01:06:45) because you have a physical need for it (01:06:48) it's physical too so when you quit (01:06:50) drinking I always I told someone this (01:06:52) this (01:06:53) morning um you need to be prepared for (01:06:56) feeling very shitty and very shaky and (01:06:59) having your sleep disrupted and feeling (01:07:01) like you're going to have a panic attack (01:07:02) at all times and like that's all real (01:07:04) and you should just know that going in (01:07:06) and the third thing I always say is that (01:07:09) it's so great to be sober because you (01:07:11) don't have to lie at all and there's no (01:07:15) shame in that I always tell my children (01:07:17) this and I really believe it it's a (01:07:18) foundational belief for me that we're (01:07:20) not good at lying about ourselves and (01:07:22) that everyone already knows who we are (01:07:24) so no matter what it is whatever ever (01:07:26) the secret is that you're hiding and you (01:07:27) think you know I'm I'm gay but no one (01:07:30) knows or you know I'm an alcoholic but (01:07:32) no one knows or I used to smoke cigar (01:07:34) like at my in-law's house no one knows (01:07:37) are you kidding everybody knows whatever (01:07:39) your dumb little secret is that you (01:07:41) think is like uniquely (01:07:43) horrible that secret is shared by (01:07:45) hundreds of millions of other people on (01:07:46) this planet and has been since the (01:07:48) beginning of (01:07:49) time it it that is our common (01:07:52) humanity is our our basic flaws and that (01:07:55) those things are already known everyone (01:07:57) already knows you're secretly gay (01:07:58) alcoholic secretly whatever it is you're (01:08:00) insecure you know what I mean you know (01:08:03) you've got a big butt and you're trying (01:08:04) to hide it like everyone already knows (01:08:06) that and a lot of them love you (01:08:08) anyway so once you realize that you're (01:08:12) you're free I don't have you know it (01:08:14) doesn't mean you should stop trying to (01:08:16) be better or if you should never stop (01:08:18) trying to be better but you don't need (01:08:21) the shame is like so unnecessary there's (01:08:24) almost nothing you could do that would (01:08:26) Shock Me personally having watched (01:08:28) people really carefully for many years (01:08:30) there's no variety of human sin that is (01:08:32) shocking at all they're all sad but (01:08:35) they're not shocking it's not like well (01:08:37) you're really plowing new ground there (01:08:39) you banged your sister all I can't (01:08:40) believe it seen it seen it you know what (01:08:43) I mean it's like there's nothing you can (01:08:44) do that is shocking and there are a lot (01:08:48) of things you can do that are wrong of (01:08:50) course and but they're not you can admit (01:08:53) everything you can admit everything and (01:08:56) the people who love you will still love (01:08:57) you and when you know that it's like you (01:09:00) are bulletproof it's like what are you (01:09:02) gonna do to me yeah you know what I mean (01:09:04) I do I do and sobriety gets you (01:09:09) there I can't think of one thing that (01:09:11) changed for the worse when I got sober (01:09:13) and I've only been sober for 2 and a (01:09:14) half years how is it a struggle I mean (01:09:17) for me it wasn't it I mean I I kind of (01:09:19) told you breakfast you know that was I I (01:09:22) I didn't even mean for it to happen I (01:09:25) mean I used to put (01:09:29) away probably two fifths a day you know (01:09:32) of two fifths yeah I would wake up two (01:09:35) fists of liquor yeah and have mini (01:09:38) bottles everywhere all over my car oh so (01:09:41) you were full-blown oh yeah oh yeah and (01:09:44) um were you able to (01:09:46) work (01:09:48) yeah and on pills and on coke and uh and (01:09:53) on sleeping pills and um (01:09:56) and I remember going to my therapist and (01:09:58) telling her oh that's that's she thought (01:10:00) I was trying to kill myself for sure and (01:10:03) um so i' you know I'd me I'd e my I (01:10:05) eased my way off of benzo and sleeping (01:10:08) pills and painkillers and and you got (01:10:10) off benzo alone (01:10:12) alone it takes ball for years it takes (01:10:15) balls I mean it it was I don't even care (01:10:18) I mean it would I would be working for (01:10:21) the agency and I I I mean it we're all (01:10:24) insomniacs (01:10:26) and it was just take whatever the [ __ ] (01:10:30) you can just to try to get some sleep (01:10:34) and then and then it became you know (01:10:37) then that that starts the cycle but yeah (01:10:39) I kick that stuff and then um a lot of (01:10:42) people die getting off benzos yeah like (01:10:45) alcohol I think those are the only two (01:10:47) categories where withdrawal can kill you (01:10:48) heroin no crack no M benzos and alcohol (01:10:51) can literally kill you and kill a lot of (01:10:53) people yeah did you know that were you (01:10:56) like afraid I didn't know that yeah well (01:10:58) I didn't know that yeah no I I did not I (01:11:02) mean this was around 2015 and um that I (01:11:06) started kicking all of that [ __ ] (01:11:10) and it uh I had a suicide attempt uh (01:11:15) can't believe we're going here but I'm (01:11:17) not surprised at all with that much yeah (01:11:20) uh partying yeah parked the car in the (01:11:22) garage left the engine running reined (01:11:25) the seat back and was like let's check (01:11:27) out and uh it didn't (01:11:30) work believe it or not obviously I'm (01:11:33) sitting here um but so I kicked the (01:11:37) booze so but what was the immediate (01:11:38) aftermath of that was that like a did (01:11:41) that shock you back into life you (01:11:43) realized I didn't I didn't believe it so (01:11:46) I woke up in (01:11:48) my bedroom in my town home and my whole (01:11:53) town home smelled like gas so I came (01:11:56) down the (01:11:57) stairs and there was a pistol that I had (01:12:01) gotten out of the safe which I never (01:12:03) used and all my clothes were on the (01:12:05) couch in front of the TV so I think that (01:12:08) maybe I was pondering killing myself on (01:12:11) the (01:12:12) couch and (01:12:14) then oh you were loaded when you did (01:12:16) this oh yeah blacked out I don't know (01:12:19) how I got back from from the bar uh and (01:12:23) then I went to the garage and I touched (01:12:26) the door handle and it was hot to the (01:12:28) touch and I was like oh [ __ ] maybe (01:12:31) there's a fire in there and so I was I (01:12:33) was like well if I open the door then (01:12:35) maybe it'll maybe that'll be it I'll be (01:12:38) done well I open the door and that (01:12:40) didn't happen and I walked in my [ __ ] (01:12:43) car was still running the seat was (01:12:47) reclined all the way down I was like (01:12:50) holy [ __ ] I was still [ __ ] up but you (01:12:52) know I was I didn't want to open the (01:12:54) garage cuz my dumb ass thought wolf a (01:12:56) spark flies this whole place is going up (01:12:59) now I'm kind of in it you know and and (01:13:01) which is stupid cuz the Pistons are (01:13:03) firing in my car but the car had gotten (01:13:07) so hot that the gas tank melted and gas (01:13:13) was Dripping on way yeah I'm not (01:13:15) [ __ ] you gas was drip I didn't know (01:13:17) this at the time but gas was Dripping on (01:13:19) to the exhaust L Muffler what kind of (01:13:22) car an Audi so I open the you know I (01:13:26) open the garage turned the car off I (01:13:29) told you I was I'd been in therapy allog (01:13:32) together three and a half years twice a (01:13:34) week called my therapist called Peggy (01:13:37) Matthews the woman I told you about that (01:13:38) had started that nonprofit and they're (01:13:41) like yeah you tried to kill yourself and (01:13:44) uh I was in denial yeah so reason I knew (01:13:47) the gas tank melted is when I had to (01:13:50) when I took off later that day uh just (01:13:53) to you know go get something uh my (01:13:56) girlfriend at the time followed me to (01:13:57) make sure I was all right and my [ __ ] (01:13:59) Muffler was You Could See Fire coming (01:14:02) off of it so then I she had called me (01:14:04) told me I looked and sure as [ __ ] there (01:14:05) was gas dripping on the damn Muffler (01:14:08) yeah so that started kind of my let's (01:14:11) wake up and (01:14:13) uh (01:14:16) yeah this show is sponsored by better (01:14:19) help this year has flown by I can't (01:14:21) believe we're already almost halfway (01:14:24) through when life goes f (01:14:26) it's important to take a moment to (01:14:28) celebrate your wins and make plans for (01:14:30) the rest of the year therapy can help (01:14:32) you take stock of your progress and set (01:14:34) achievable goals for the next 6 months (01:14:37) therapy is so helpful for learning (01:14:39) positive coping skills and how to set (01:14:42) boundaries it empowers you to be the (01:14:44) best version of yourself it isn't just (01:14:46) for those who've experienced major (01:14:48) trauma therapy truly is for everyone if (01:14:52) you're thinking of starting therapy give (01:14:54) better help a try it's entirely online (01:14:57) designed to be convenient flexible and (01:14:59) suited to your schedule just fill out a (01:15:02) brief questionnaire to get matched with (01:15:03) a licensed therapist and switch (01:15:05) therapist at any time for no additional (01:15:07) charge take a moment visit (01:15:09) betterhelp.com Shawn today to get 10% (01:15:12) off your first month that's betterhelp (01:15:20) hp.com history economics the great works (01:15:23) of literature the meaning of the US (01:15:26) Constitution did you study these things (01:15:28) in school probably not or even if you (01:15:30) did maybe it's time for a refresher time (01:15:33) and Technology have changed a lot and (01:15:36) that's why it's important to learn 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(01:16:29) edu SRS to (01:16:33) register so that's one of the wildest (01:16:35) stys I've heard actually what you just (01:16:37) said that you didn't even know that you (01:16:40) did it because you're a blacked out MH (01:16:43) what effect like once you realized what (01:16:45) had happened and you call your therapist (01:16:47) and she confirms the obvious with the (01:16:49) evidence suggest like what effect did (01:16:51) that have on (01:16:53) you I mean I just never realized I was (01:16:56) capable of suicide you know and so I (01:16:59) called called my therapist I called (01:17:01) Peggy I called my best friend Dave (01:17:03) Rutherford uh who lived down the road (01:17:05) from me uh also a former clca Guy and um (01:17:11) still in denial still [ __ ] up if you (01:17:14) know what I mean I mean I haven't even (01:17:15) slept it off and uh but you know (01:17:19) it you know (01:17:22) I've I can't let my dad down that's (01:17:25) Spirit that's always been like that's (01:17:28) what carried me through all the [ __ ] (01:17:31) that I've been through getting into the (01:17:32) SEAL Teams I I could never like I felt (01:17:35) like I let my dad down so many times in (01:17:38) childhood up to leaving just from being (01:17:42) a uh [ __ ] turd that I just I couldn't (01:17:46) let him down anymore and that just stuck (01:17:48) with me from 18 to today and um that's a (01:17:53) great motivator yeah and uh and uh but (01:17:57) anyways you know moving forward wait can (01:17:59) I just ask you one question though so (01:18:01) you said you didn't think you were (01:18:02) capable of that which is like a (01:18:03) horrifying thing to realize about (01:18:05) yourself I've realized that about myself (01:18:06) on different levels I didn't think I (01:18:08) would ever do something like that I just (01:18:09) did but where do you think that that (01:18:12) came from do you think the impulse to (01:18:14) destroy yourself Came From Within or do (01:18:17) you think it was something from outside (01:18:19) you that entered you both I think it was (01:18:23) both i' um I've been it was (01:18:26) a there was a lot of things that I (01:18:28) didn't think I was capable of doing that (01:18:30) were all happening around this time you (01:18:32) know and (01:18:36) and you know I kind of told you about my (01:18:38) lifestyle and living in Colombia and and (01:18:42) there was a lot of Shame you know I was (01:18:45) going through a lot of Shame and trying (01:18:46) to create a new identity after leaving (01:18:48) the agency and the and the SEAL Teams (01:18:51) and starting from (01:18:53) nothing so that was all in there (01:18:55) and um and I mean we talked about it (01:18:59) this morning at breakfast you know I (01:19:00) mean you it's like athletes pro athletes (01:19:03) they they get done and it's like well (01:19:04) now what the [ __ ] am I going to do and (01:19:06) that's how I felt and I (01:19:09) felt (01:19:11) very unaccomplished again and it just it (01:19:16) just really like bothered me there was a (01:19:18) lot of a lot of processing that was (01:19:20) going on at that (01:19:22) time but but yeah then so I I had kicked (01:19:25) everything eventually within a couple (01:19:27) months and um vodka was gone I had I had (01:19:31) switched to wine and and um the old (01:19:35) switch to Wi s (01:19:37) there and uh and then uh years later I (01:19:42) went and did psychedelic treatment and I (01:19:44) didn't even go down there for that and I (01:19:46) just came out of it and I haven't had (01:19:48) another drop of alcohol (01:19:51) sents just in one day it's like in a (01:19:54) week I did Iain 5 Meo DNT I came I came (01:19:59) home and I just it's that experience (01:20:01) almost it's like it showed you (01:20:03) everything that's poison in your life it (01:20:06) was like a new intuition that I had (01:20:09) developed (01:20:11) over the course of a week of just I gu I (01:20:16) guess you'd call it healing right yes (01:20:18) and uh and uh yeah it just did you go by (01:20:23) yourself (01:20:25) no I went I wanted to go by myself and (01:20:29) then uh I I went to it was very private (01:20:32) though I didn't want anybody around you (01:20:35) know that knew me and (01:20:39) um and uh cuz I didn't know it was going (01:20:41) to come out either and um but yeah it's (01:20:46) it's like it showed (01:20:48) me toxic people in my life not to be (01:20:52) afraid to say no to people anymore and (01:20:56) alcohol Aderall Aderall is the one thing (01:20:59) I kept on after my suicide attempt and (01:21:04) uh and even like I guess I can't say (01:21:07) caffeine but uh coffee like I haven't (01:21:10) had any coffee and then um cannabis I (01:21:15) would use to sleep kick that for about 6 (01:21:19) months but um but uh that's the only one (01:21:23) that didn't stick was the cannabis and (01:21:26) you know sometimes I need that to sleep (01:21:29) so so yeah that's my journey to (01:21:32) sobriety were you afraid I assume you (01:21:35) didn't have like an extensive history of (01:21:37) hallucinogenic (01:21:39) experiences no so were you afraid that (01:21:42) you would freak out yeah I I I did a lot (01:21:46) of drugs and um I was always scared of (01:21:50) psychedelics and and stuff that makes (01:21:52) you hallucinate cuz I you don't know (01:21:54) what's going to rise and and uh but I I (01:21:58) had hit this I had I mean I when I did (01:22:02) it I felt like I had pretty much (01:22:04) conquered the the veteran (01:22:08) PTSD traumatic like I I I had reinvented (01:22:12) myself successfully and the new the new (01:22:15) problem for me was I just had a uh my (01:22:18) son he was about four or 5 months old I (01:22:21) believe and I just I just like business (01:22:24) just kept creeping into my mind and I (01:22:26) was like man I don't I just want to (01:22:28) [ __ ] be in the moment with my wife (01:22:30) and kid I don't want to be thinking (01:22:32) about who my next guest is or how am I (01:22:34) going to how am I going to I I just (01:22:37) didn't want to I wanted to be able to (01:22:39) shut that down and and uh and so and I (01:22:43) started getting real panicky because as (01:22:46) the show's (01:22:47) growing people see that and then people (01:22:50) want to be around you and not all those (01:22:52) people are good and a lot of people want (01:22:53) to [ __ ] use you and and and hey oh (01:22:57) really I'm I know I haven't talked in 20 (01:23:00) years but now I want to be your best (01:23:01) friend again hey how's it going you know (01:23:03) like all that [ __ ] just started getting (01:23:05) to me and I felt super [ __ ] guilty (01:23:07) like man I'm sorry like I cannot shout (01:23:11) out another nonprofit I can't shout out (01:23:13) another business like I I do everything (01:23:15) I can to to to to bring awareness to (01:23:18) like good [ __ ] and businesses and lift (01:23:21) veteran businesses on my show and like (01:23:24) that's that's what I can do other than (01:23:27) that like you're just taking time for my (01:23:29) family and and but I always felt guilty (01:23:32) saying (01:23:32) that and which is weird because I didn't (01:23:36) have somebody I did I never had somebody (01:23:39) like Rogan to amplify my business I had (01:23:44) to do this [ __ ] by my [ __ ] self and (01:23:47) and but I know how hard it is and so I (01:23:50) wanted to help (01:23:52) guys Elevate their business by bring (01:23:54) bring an exposure to him by this show (01:23:56) but then it then it just nothing's ever (01:24:00) enough you know and you feel guilty like (01:24:03) saying and resentful if you're being (01:24:04) used yeah and and so I did that and it (01:24:08) did it got me back in the moment with my (01:24:10) family it gave me it it it gave me like (01:24:14) this new ability to be like yeah I'm not (01:24:16) doing that you know sorry like and it it (01:24:20) made me realize like Sean they don't (01:24:23) give a [ __ ] about you they just care (01:24:25) about what you can do for them and if (01:24:27) you can't do it guess what they're going (01:24:30) to go to the next person and then (01:24:31) they're going to go to the next person (01:24:33) and then they're going it's not about (01:24:34) you it's just what you can give them and (01:24:37) um most of the time and uh so it helped (01:24:41) me like come to peace with a lot of that (01:24:43) stuff and business and then all (01:24:45) the alcohol funny I have a bar over here (01:24:48) but uh I do too I have a huge bar um but (01:24:53) every yeah you know (01:24:55) you have a huge bar I didn't even notice (01:24:57) that I'm so tuned out from alcohol that (01:24:59) I don't I don't really notice it's weird (01:25:01) I get a lot of [ __ ] about that because (01:25:02) I'm always talking about sobriety but (01:25:05) you know it's it's it's well it's a (01:25:06) measure of how little control it has (01:25:08) over you exactly I can't watch someone (01:25:11) smoke a cigarette without my mouth (01:25:13) watering really though it's been 10 (01:25:15) years yeah 10 years today I quit 10 (01:25:16) years today congrats thank you um and (01:25:19) I've lost interest I don't I tried to (01:25:21) smoke a cigarette last year I thought (01:25:23) I'll start smoking again why do I I care (01:25:25) cuz I I do love smoking but I didn't (01:25:27) want to actually at all uh but for some (01:25:30) reason if I watch someone smoke a (01:25:31) cigarette I'm like it's so (01:25:34) cool it's so diseased but I feel that (01:25:37) way it's (01:25:38) pavlovian yeah yeah yeah but let's get (01:25:42) back to you enough I wasn't I don't like (01:25:45) talking about me but um that was (01:25:47) wonderful I'm so glad that you did (01:25:48) actually that's wonderful I do think as (01:25:51) I often say to people around me the one (01:25:54) person I know don't trust is me and I (01:25:56) think it's important to to say that and (01:25:57) like we're we're and I did do H Jes as a (01:26:00) kid I didn't have any positive (01:26:01) experience at all I learn anything other (01:26:04) than the value of Sanity but one thing I (01:26:06) did learn was for sure I learned at like (01:26:09) 14 or 15 was there's a lot of stuff (01:26:11) floating around inside you that I (01:26:14) personally don't have any interest in (01:26:15) being in touch with because (01:26:17) it's um but I think it's important to (01:26:20) know or to have some sense of what (01:26:22) you're capable of not be ashamed of it (01:26:24) but just know like under certain (01:26:26) Circumstance the one thing that drives (01:26:27) me insane is people like I would never (01:26:28) do that I think whatever it is you would (01:26:31) do that you know under certain (01:26:32) circumstances don't lie about yourself (01:26:34) or to yourself you know that's a damn (01:26:37) good point well I think it's a blessing (01:26:39) to know that and to survive something (01:26:41) like that why did you survive I mean (01:26:44) that's I'm sure you've pondered this a (01:26:46) lot but oh yeah I mean well I mean I (01:26:49) chalk it up (01:26:50) to I chalk it up to God and and Jesus (01:26:53) and and uh which we talked about that at (01:26:56) breakfast you know and and there's all (01:26:58) these (01:26:59) weird I used to call them coincidences (01:27:02) you know now I don't call them (01:27:04) coincidences I think it was it was just (01:27:08) how I'm supposed to play out I agree (01:27:11) with that strongly so that is the one (01:27:14) cool thing about making it past 40 is (01:27:16) you start to see how non-random (01:27:18) everything (01:27:19) is you know when you're when you're a (01:27:21) kid it really is like driving fast at (01:27:23) night they're just like lights going (01:27:24) past you and you don't it's hard to (01:27:26) interpret what they are and like (01:27:27) everything's just happening and like for (01:27:28) the first time but with age I mean the (01:27:31) downside is you do have to wake up to (01:27:33) take a leak like that's real I can tell (01:27:35) you but um the upside is so much better (01:27:38) than the downside you like at least at (01:27:40) this stage of my life you you start to (01:27:42) see like coincidences really I don't (01:27:44) think so like doesn't mean you're (01:27:47) conspiracy nut it's just like you notice (01:27:48) patterns yeah yeah they aren't (01:27:51) coincidence no no no that's such a (01:27:55) childish thing to tell yourself you (01:27:56) don't realize how childish it is because (01:27:58) you're a child but with age you're like (01:28:01) okay kids and that's why young people (01:28:04) they can't deal with that actually even (01:28:06) the open-minded ones certainly it's true (01:28:08) of me when I was younger I was like (01:28:10) conspiracy nut crazy you know what I (01:28:12) mean oh Kennedy was assassinated as part (01:28:15) of a plot you know it's like okay I (01:28:17) didn't believe any of that yo UFOs you (01:28:20) know (01:28:21) whatever but you you learn the hard way (01:28:24) or you learn inevitably in any case with (01:28:27) age that how little you understand how (01:28:30) unreliable you (01:28:31) are how narrow your field of vision is (01:28:35) you just you learn a lot and it's good (01:28:36) to know yeah yeah it's (01:28:41) um yeah I would I would recommend that (01:28:44) psychedelic treatment to everyone it's (01:28:48) just been it's so powerful I've seen it (01:28:50) change so many lives too well it you (01:28:53) know it's hard to argue with the the (01:28:55) fruit the tree Bears you know yeah man I (01:28:58) had the opposite experience I was like (01:29:00) wow I'm never doing that again yeah yeah (01:29:04) I think it all comes down to intentions (01:29:05) well with that 100% and children should (01:29:07) not be taking glucogenic drugs like what (01:29:10) again it's just time and place it's just (01:29:12) different time different place different (01:29:14) attitudes people don't understand how (01:29:18) much things have changed even I forget (01:29:20) like the current and I'm not even (01:29:22) judging in either direction I'm just (01:29:24) saying the current attitudes that we (01:29:26) have as of you know miday (01:29:30) 2024 have evolved to this point these (01:29:32) are not the attitudes that we had 20 (01:29:34) years ago or 40 years ago they're just (01:29:35) not they don't bear any resemblance to (01:29:37) those attitudes so things do change a (01:29:39) lot and when you're marinating in it (01:29:41) it's the frog and the hot water metaphor (01:29:44) like you don't you don't feel it but you (01:29:46) look back and you're like really how did (01:29:48) people do stuff like that cuz everyone (01:29:49) thought it was fine or they did or there (01:29:51) was an tcid agreement not to talk about (01:29:54) it or what whatever but attitudes have (01:29:55) changed so (01:29:57) much in this country that it's you can't (01:30:00) even talk about it because it's like it (01:30:02) doesn't sound first of all it doesn't (01:30:03) sound (01:30:04) real and it's just horrifying by current (01:30:07) standards but that I have lived it so I (01:30:09) can say we have very different attitudes (01:30:12) than we used to have for good and bad (01:30:14) yeah yeah all right so back to you you (01:30:19) got into journalism yeah when did you (01:30:21) really see your career just start to (01:30:23) I've never had had a career or thought (01:30:25) of myself as having a career I don't (01:30:26) think that now I never will think that I (01:30:27) don't I don't I'm not a career person (01:30:30) and um I reject the whole idea of (01:30:33) careers and um I just don't I wasn't (01:30:35) raised like that no one had a (01:30:37) career you know it's like we just didn't (01:30:39) think that way it's just like are you (01:30:41) doing something interesting or not you (01:30:42) know that was just kind of the only (01:30:43) measure and do you think it's meaningful (01:30:45) do you enjoy doing it um so I have (01:30:48) always felt that way I have had a lot of (01:30:51) different jobs within journalism like (01:30:53) almost pretty much every job you could (01:30:55) have and I've been better at some than (01:30:57) others and enjoyed some more than others (01:31:00) but they've all been branches of the (01:31:02) same tree and uh and my views on it have (01:31:04) changed a lot I I began began is because (01:31:07) of my father and my great-grandfather (01:31:09) was a well-known journalist also so I (01:31:11) really felt like well this is what I was (01:31:13) made to do and it's honorable no one's (01:31:15) more honorable than my father so this is (01:31:18) inherently honorable bring information (01:31:20) to people um being their eyes and ears (01:31:24) and some cases their voice you know (01:31:26) that's like what's what's better than (01:31:27) that like there's nothing to be ashamed (01:31:28) about in what I do that's I've always (01:31:30) thought that my whole life and then you (01:31:32) look around and you're like every other (01:31:34) person who does this job is a total (01:31:35) piece of [ __ ] actually and I I've (01:31:38) concluded that cuz it's true when did (01:31:40) you realize that (01:31:42) oh (01:31:44) 2016 okay when the world changed yeah (01:31:47) and you hate to give Trump credit for I (01:31:49) love Trump personally but he's not (01:31:51) worthy of that credit it was there are a (01:31:52) lot of things going on and he was the (01:31:54) embodiment of a lot of different things (01:31:56) we're all sort of people but we're also (01:31:58) symbols kind of and that's true of him (01:32:00) as well but whatever everything changed (01:32:02) that year and particularly the world (01:32:04) that I lived in which was permanent (01:32:06) Washington I mean that's I moved there (01:32:08) at 15 or (01:32:10) 16 and in 2016 I was 47 so that's a (01:32:16) lifetime and um I had you know strong (01:32:20) views about a million different things I (01:32:22) was paid to strong views and they came (01:32:23) to me naturally but one thing I never (01:32:26) really did was question the foundations (01:32:27) of the (01:32:29) system I questioned neocon foreign (01:32:31) policy in 2002 when I went to Iraq to (01:32:34) see the outcome of this thing I had (01:32:36) advocated for and and that changed my (01:32:38) view completely but (01:32:41) um my views on the whole (01:32:44) system uh were not were sort of in place (01:32:47) from childhood up until (01:32:49) 2016 to an embarrassing degree I just (01:32:53) didn't understand that a lot of the (01:32:55) things that I was living around and (01:32:56) participating in were really wrong and I (01:32:59) heard people say that but I thought they (01:33:00) were dumb and like what do you know you (01:33:01) don't live here I live here I raised my (01:33:03) kids here like this is my city I know (01:33:05) everybody I know the city like the (01:33:07) Physical City and the culture of the (01:33:09) city I know it really well and I loved (01:33:10) it and I thrived there and I came there (01:33:13) with like no record of success or (01:33:16) college degree or like anything (01:33:19) impressive and I did fine you know I (01:33:22) sent my kids to private school and I was (01:33:24) you know fairly successful and waiters (01:33:27) and Valley Parkers are nice to me and (01:33:29) like you know you just live a (01:33:30) comfortable happy life and a really (01:33:31) beautiful place the residential parts of (01:33:34) northwest DC are really beautiful and (01:33:36) not that expensive actually it's just a (01:33:38) nice life nice (01:33:40) people I loved it and I defended it uh (01:33:43) relentlessly for decades and then in one (01:33:47) year I came to see a lot of it and I (01:33:50) it's it wasn't about trump it was about (01:33:52) the reaction that he provoked (01:33:54) was so unreasonable and defensive MH and (01:33:58) um and low it was low and none of the (01:34:02) things that they claimed to believe in (01:34:03) they actually believed in it was purely (01:34:05) self- protection they couldn't defend (01:34:07) the way things worked Trump was not (01:34:09) especially articulate in diagnosing the (01:34:11) problems at all he didn't understand the (01:34:12) problems he wasn't from there I'm from (01:34:14) there like I know what the problems are (01:34:15) or I thought I did but Trump would say (01:34:18) things and they would freak out and they (01:34:20) would refuse to give a legitimate answer (01:34:23) this is my neighbors I'm talking came (01:34:24) met of my friends and the whole city and (01:34:27) um and I was like i' never seen anything (01:34:29) like it I lost all respect I was like (01:34:32) you're really smart people these are (01:34:33) high IQ people and these are Achievers (01:34:36) these people went to you know the top (01:34:38) schools which I did not go to but I'd (01:34:40) certainly been around it a lot long (01:34:42) enough to lose respect for it and but (01:34:44) these are capable people and also nice (01:34:46) people who love their children and are (01:34:48) in mostly successful marriages and make (01:34:51) sure their lawns are moded and like (01:34:53) they're not bad people they're good (01:34:54) people They Don't Spray (01:34:55) graffiti they're not jumping the turn (01:34:57) Styles they're not raping old ladies (01:34:58) like these are these are the pillars of (01:35:00) our society and they can't answer basic (01:35:02) questions like why are we doing it this (01:35:03) way and they refused to and they (01:35:06) attacked him in very unreasonable ways (01:35:08) without even reut rebutting his (01:35:11) critique and I have no respect for that (01:35:13) at all not as a conservative or even an (01:35:16) American just as a man who's got (01:35:17) rational faculties I'm like that's not (01:35:19) good enough actually I catch you doing (01:35:21) something and you attack me you don't (01:35:23) even answer my charge (01:35:25) you're disgusting to me and I noticed (01:35:28) this on many different levels (01:35:29) immigration NATO I never questioned NATO (01:35:32) a single time my dad worked with NATO (01:35:33) it's like NATO they defend us from the (01:35:36) Soviets and I never one time thought (01:35:39) well wait a second the Soviet Union (01:35:41) collapsed on my honeymoon which was (01:35:42) August of 1991 I was in Bermuda in (01:35:45) Tucker toown and it collapsed I remember (01:35:47) reading it uh on the beach at the mid (01:35:50) ocean Club in the New York Times (01:35:53) International Herald Tribune digest or (01:35:54) whatever wow failed coup it collapsed (01:35:57) that was 1991 this was 2016 I'm not good (01:36:00) at math but a long time later and we (01:36:02) still have this defense Alliance to (01:36:04) prevent the Soviets from invading (01:36:05) Germany when the Soviets don't exist and (01:36:07) Russia is not going to invade Germany (01:36:08) doesn't want to what's the point of NATO (01:36:10) which totally fair question which i' (01:36:11) never thought of and Trump in his like (01:36:13) autistic way is like why do we have (01:36:15) NATO holy [ __ ] people went (01:36:19) crazy what you you Putin tool or (01:36:22) whatever it's like no I never mention (01:36:23) Putin why do we have NATO like what's (01:36:24) the answer answer the [ __ ] question (01:36:28) and they couldn't and that that right (01:36:30) there I'd never had a single opinion (01:36:32) about NATO other than NATO good like not (01:36:34) one opinion I didn't know much about (01:36:37) NATO and it was the Defenders of NATO's (01:36:41) inability to defend NATO that to me it (01:36:44) sounds obscure but it's not obscure it's (01:36:45) Central I didn't know that I now do but (01:36:49) that to me was a turning point in my (01:36:51) life I was like why can't you answer the (01:36:53) question why are you getting mad I have (01:36:54) a lot of children so I'm familiar with (01:36:56) these phenomena (01:36:57) right did you you know what I mean you (01:37:00) ask a straightforward question I demand (01:37:01) a straightforward answer (01:37:04) period And if you're lying to me the (01:37:06) question becomes why why are you lying (01:37:08) why you attacking me I didn't do (01:37:10) anything why are we threatening to kill (01:37:12) Julian Assange or trying to put Ed (01:37:15) Snowden in prison yeah you know you're (01:37:18) the criminal actually he's the one who (01:37:20) told me that you were a criminal he's (01:37:21) not the criminal you are that's my (01:37:23) opinion about life not just about the US (01:37:26) government anyway so that was that (01:37:28) completely changed my view and because (01:37:32) Trump was involved who again I just say (01:37:34) it again because I mean it I love Trump (01:37:36) personally I know him quite well and (01:37:37) have for you know long before he ran for (01:37:39) president because I was in the media and (01:37:42) I've always enjoyed him you know and I (01:37:44) do to this day but it was not about (01:37:46) trump it was much deeper than that and (01:37:49) it was very easy to be like oh you're a (01:37:50) trump siant well of course I'm not a (01:37:52) siant to anybody other than maybe my (01:37:54) wife I'm an enthusiastic sycophant fine (01:37:58) that's allowed but I'm not an ass kisser (01:38:00) and I never have been so that's not a (01:38:02) fair response the question hangs in the (01:38:05) air what's the point of NATO and a (01:38:07) million other questions why not have a (01:38:08) border wall or whatever and they had no (01:38:11) answer for any of it and they were (01:38:12) wildly defensive and in a period of just (01:38:15) a few months I lost all respect for them (01:38:17) and all desire to live in that city (01:38:19) which was shocking because I'm on the (01:38:21) record um I can just tell you I what My (01:38:25) Views were and I expressed them a lot in (01:38:27) print and on television this is a great (01:38:29) City with great (01:38:31) people you know we make mistakes and (01:38:33) Head Start doesn't really work and I got (01:38:35) it Federal government's too big I agree (01:38:37) but fundamentally these are people who (01:38:39) are trying their best and they're pretty (01:38:40) impressive people and they make mistakes (01:38:43) and these programs last too long but you (01:38:46) know they're not evil okay they're (01:38:47) trying hard they work hard and they're (01:38:49) smart and in a few month period I was (01:38:52) like actually none of that's true (01:38:53) they're not good people at all at all (01:38:56) because now we all know that this whole (01:38:59) Enterprise is [ __ ] and they refuse (01:39:00) to get better they refuse to admit it (01:39:02) and as a former (01:39:03) alcoholic I know the process of just (01:39:06) admit it just admit it I'm kind of a (01:39:08) loser it's all right you can you can say (01:39:09) that because it's true when everyone (01:39:10) knows it already just admit it and get (01:39:12) better they refused they're still (01:39:14) defending the Iraq War they're still (01:39:16) defending the in indefensible Vietnam (01:39:18) War still pretending we didn't know the (01:39:20) Japanese were going to attack Pro Harbor (01:39:22) like there's too many lies like I can't (01:39:23) de with this many lies actually and it's (01:39:25) very unhealthy to live in a society that (01:39:28) is defined by lies it corrodes your soul (01:39:30) it's bad for you you go to hell actually (01:39:32) you're living in hell when you live that (01:39:34) way and all of this came to me in this (01:39:36) short period of time and I couldn't (01:39:37) quite articulate it but I felt it so (01:39:39) strongly it affected my sleep and um and (01:39:43) it really just changed my life forever (01:39:45) and so I would say and for the better (01:39:48) for the happier but but it's a burden to (01:39:52) have all of your pre existing beliefs (01:39:55) explode in a short period of time you (01:39:57) know it's like wow it's like being (01:39:59) kicked out of a cult you're like I can't (01:40:01) believe I live there you know what I (01:40:03) mean I think a lot of us know what you (01:40:05) mean at this point well and and I have (01:40:08) to say I know you don't like talk about (01:40:09) yourself but it's especially relevant to (01:40:12) you and men like you who went and you (01:40:16) know were asked to risk your lives and (01:40:17) to kill other human beings and to really (01:40:20) give up everything for the sake of this (01:40:23) thing and and the disillusionment that I (01:40:26) have noticed in men like you who've (01:40:29) really done a lot for this Enterprise (01:40:31) and (01:40:32) then come to the obvious conclusion that (01:40:34) it's not exactly what it seems I can't (01:40:37) imagine living with that I I honestly (01:40:39) can and I sort of get the suicide rate (01:40:41) I'm just being honest I I get (01:40:43) that I mean how much of that I know this (01:40:45) is a very complicated subject that (01:40:47) you're deeply involved in but how much (01:40:50) of the Despair and and up to and (01:40:55) including suicide comes from guys (01:40:57) realizing wow maybe that wasn't worth (01:41:01) it it's it's it's a it's a hard question (01:41:04) to answer because there's so much going (01:41:06) on you know what I mean it's it's I'm (01:41:09) I'm it's it definitely plays a role but (01:41:12) it's not the whole role I believe that (01:41:13) you know there's there's there's (01:41:16) just there they're now calling (01:41:19) especially for like Special Operations (01:41:22) guys that have Just DE it over and over (01:41:24) like we were talking about my interview (01:41:25) with Tom Spooner guy's done over a (01:41:28) thousand hits meaning he's hit a thous (01:41:32) plus targets I mean a thousand I think (01:41:36) it's totally disgusting to do that to (01:41:39) anybody to ask any man to do that that's (01:41:41) too much I'm I'm sorry and then they (01:41:43) kick you out (01:41:44) but it's it's what you did it's how you (01:41:48) did it it's addiction to Adrenaline it's (01:41:53) culture of being in that life it it's a (01:41:57) very toxic [ __ ] culture it's it's the (01:41:59) competitiveness that's ingrained in you (01:42:01) from from the time you show up day one (01:42:04) week one of training it's who's the (01:42:06) fastest runner who's the fastest swimmer (01:42:08) who's the best shot who's killed the (01:42:09) most people who's gone on the most Ops (01:42:11) who's gone on the most high-profile Ops (01:42:13) who's got the most jumps who's the it's (01:42:16) it's all that all that all the time you (01:42:20) every day you have to prove yourself to (01:42:22) be there which we had talked you know at (01:42:25) at at breakfast (01:42:27) about egomaniacs in my community and I (01:42:32) I've thought a lot about this and I (01:42:33) think that's where it stems from I think (01:42:35) it's it's it is the competitive nature (01:42:38) is ingrained in you and in in in (01:42:42) striving for Perfection on day one week (01:42:45) one of training when you're going (01:42:48) to to become a special operator though (01:42:51) and and I do that's so clearly true and (01:42:55) nicely put you obviously thought about (01:42:57) it a lot I would just revise something (01:42:59) that I said at breakfast which was to (01:43:01) describe people like that as egomaniacs (01:43:03) I or narcissists I do think this is so (01:43:06) obvious it's just coming to me in the (01:43:07) last few years but like egomania is (01:43:10) really insecurity masked you know people (01:43:13) who are comfortable with themselves who (01:43:15) really are deeply first of all you can (01:43:16) feel it (01:43:17) immediately someone is actually kind of (01:43:19) content inside mhmm it conveys very it's (01:43:22) a smell and I can smell it like that and (01:43:26) it's the opposite of egomania people (01:43:28) like that do not like the man you're (01:43:30) talking about Tom Spooner is that (01:43:32) correct so I watched that that guy just (01:43:36) through the screen I could feel that (01:43:37) that man's like has achieved a high (01:43:39) level of contentment or peace or he's (01:43:41) he's wrestled with things and settled a (01:43:43) lot of things inside him so I could just (01:43:44) feel that coming off just on the screen (01:43:46) I could feel that I don't know if that's (01:43:48) true I don't know I never met him but (01:43:50) that the I got that Vibe right right (01:43:52) through my phone watching that um cuz I (01:43:55) think it's that obvious and it is the (01:43:58) opposite of the way that people we (01:44:00) describe as egomaniacs behave which is (01:44:03) constantly reminding you how great they (01:44:04) are well you know someone who actually (01:44:07) thinks he's done an okay job or is at (01:44:09) peace inside is never going to remind (01:44:11) you that he's great because he doesn't (01:44:12) occur to him he's focused on you or (01:44:14) whatever he doesn't need to do that like (01:44:15) what you're compensating you feel like (01:44:17) [ __ ] if you're doing that actually and (01:44:19) competition makes you feel bad of course (01:44:22) am I actually the fastest I don't know (01:44:24) you know that's why I have to tell you (01:44:25) that I am yeah and um it's sad when you (01:44:28) start to see it that way I don't like e (01:44:30) manics I don't like people who can't (01:44:31) stop talking about how great they are I (01:44:33) actually hate that more than almost (01:44:34) anything but in the last few years I've (01:44:35) decided like no you should feel sad for (01:44:38) people like that and famous people and (01:44:41) seals let's just be honest are famous (01:44:44) people they're celebrities in our (01:44:46) culture they are universally loved and (01:44:49) respected I mean that's just true it was (01:44:52) this kind of obscure thing that like (01:44:54) President Kennedy thought up but now (01:44:56) it's like a huge part of our culture (01:44:57) they're Hollywood celebrities like (01:44:59) basically same (01:45:02) thing famous people for some reason the (01:45:06) more famous they get I've lived this (01:45:09) among this my whole life the more (01:45:11) insecure they get it's so interesting (01:45:13) the more they're praised the more they (01:45:16) feel insecure about who they really are (01:45:18) maybe they don't believe I don't know (01:45:19) what it is but that is absolutely pH if (01:45:21) you subject someone (01:45:24) to constant (01:45:25) agulation over time you'll make him hate (01:45:27) himself I I think yeah I think a I think (01:45:32) uh a lot of this comes (01:45:35) from I've talked about this a lot before (01:45:38) but there's very few people that you (01:45:41) meet in (01:45:44) media that are the same person that they (01:45:46) are on camera is off and yeah and cuz (01:45:52) they're frauds you're one of them you're (01:45:53) you're the same person I hope so and (01:45:56) it's it's it's just refreshing time to (01:46:00) be more than one person well you too (01:46:01) busy it's it's it's I think a lot of (01:46:04) people like they they they get to a (01:46:07) certain point in life by being a (01:46:09) character they wear a [ __ ] costume (01:46:11) they're a character it's a facade and (01:46:14) then they get [ __ ] trapped in that (01:46:15) facade no you know and they can't get (01:46:18) out of it and so there's nothing real (01:46:22) about them yes it's and and now that (01:46:25) they found Success Through Being a (01:46:28) [ __ ] character now they're trapped (01:46:30) forever well that's why they have bad (01:46:32) marriages cu the one thing that you (01:46:35) can't like you'll never fool your (01:46:38) wife you know what I mean like you'll (01:46:41) never fool you'll never impress her with (01:46:43) that stuff ever she knows who you are (01:46:46) and what happens is and I have a PhD in (01:46:48) this having seen it so many times the (01:46:51) distance between how a man is treated in (01:46:54) public and the way he's treated at home (01:46:55) becomes intolerable for him and I had a (01:46:58) friend a wonderful man who very famous (01:47:01) person who ended up leaving his great (01:47:04) wife he was in his 50 like one of the (01:47:06) hottest 55-year-old wife around and (01:47:09) super nice it's like it was the kind of (01:47:10) thing where it's like why would you (01:47:11) leave her and uh I was in with him in (01:47:15) private one time years ago and I and I (01:47:18) he's like uh going back to my wife and I (01:47:21) was like going he literally moved out (01:47:24) he was like maybe 53 or 4 and he moved (01:47:26) in with like a 29-year-old the kind of (01:47:28) thing where everyone's like what is that (01:47:30) you know don't do that and he did it and (01:47:32) he had to go back to his wife and he's (01:47:33) like the amount of [ __ ] I'm going to (01:47:34) have to eat I mean for real I've (01:47:37) humiliated her my daughters want to kill (01:47:39) me but I'm going back cuz I really miss (01:47:42) her and I was like why did you do that (01:47:45) and I thought he was CU I was younger (01:47:47) and I was dumer and I thought he was cuz (01:47:49) she's just full smoke show and she did (01:47:52) [ __ ] to me in the sack you can't even (01:47:53) believe and you know not one word about (01:47:55) that nothing to do with sex he literally (01:47:58) said when I get home my wife is like (01:48:00) have you taken out the trash is exactly (01:48:02) what he said and all day people kiss my (01:48:04) ass and treat me like a celebrity and I (01:48:06) get home my wife was like okay yeah Mr (01:48:08) celebrity guy and he goes I couldn't (01:48:10) deal with it and this young woman it (01:48:12) wasn't even it had nothing to do with (01:48:13) the sex I she was hot or whatever but he (01:48:15) it doesn't last right it does not that (01:48:17) important really she treated me like I (01:48:20) was Jesus and I just wanted that how (01:48:22) self-aware is that wow that's a high (01:48:24) level of self-awareness that he was able (01:48:25) to say that out loud and and admit that (01:48:29) it's ohol that's so embarrassing but he (01:48:30) admitted it and I've never forgotten (01:48:33) that and I there's something about (01:48:35) flattery that is way more destructive (01:48:37) than criticism I won't have it in my (01:48:40) world like at all not one word of it any (01:48:42) flattery you're done criticism is fine (01:48:44) as long as it's sincere and meant to (01:48:47) edify rather than tear down constructive (01:48:49) constructive that's right um but (01:48:52) flattery is by nature (01:48:54) Sinister it's dishonest and it's meant (01:48:56) to weaken you and nothing weakens you (01:48:58) faster than the things that feel (01:49:01) good obviously you know this as a as a (01:49:04) former part of here but but but flattery (01:49:06) is a is a kind of moral (01:49:09) cocaine you think it makes you strong (01:49:12) but actually it's hollowing you out (01:49:13) inside so anyway that stuff wrecks your (01:49:17) marriage because your wife is never (01:49:20) long-term going to go along with that at (01:49:22) all (01:49:23) at all yeah yeah so don't get wrapped up (01:49:26) in your own [ __ ] oh I would be even (01:49:29) more psych I mean I think it's such a (01:49:31) threat that I would just be absolutely (01:49:34) like there's all kinds of things you (01:49:36) tolerate with people around you who work (01:49:39) for you who your friends your family you (01:49:41) know of course people are flawed they do (01:49:42) flawed things fine but you have to (01:49:44) decide there are few things you're not (01:49:45) going to tolerate and one is like crazy (01:49:48) Addiction because crazy Addiction (01:49:49) carries people into places that they (01:49:51) well as we both know you know it changes (01:49:54) them in ways that are hard to fix while (01:49:56) they're still partying okay and the (01:49:58) second you can never tolerate is (01:49:59) flattery ever that is an absolute threat (01:50:01) to you any ass kissing is a threat to (01:50:04) you it's better to get punched in the (01:50:06) face than be (01:50:07) flattered because there's there's no (01:50:09) good motive for that someone's lying (01:50:11) right to your face in the stealthiest (01:50:13) most feline way oh you're so great oh (01:50:15) you're so great you're so great if (01:50:18) anyone says anything like that to me (01:50:21) ever no you're (01:50:24) done except for you well no it just to (01:50:28) and luckily I come from a family where (01:50:29) Compliments are just not a thing like (01:50:31) it's love is a thing I love you is a (01:50:34) thing honesty is a thing but ass kissing (01:50:36) is not a thing in my family at all (01:50:39) so (01:50:42) good when I want to go back to Media (01:50:45) yeah and so one of the things that I (01:50:46) really wanted to chat with you about (01:50:50) is when did you kind of notice the (01:50:54) weaponization of mainstream media start (01:50:57) to happen I mean you know it's like (01:50:59) you're too close to things you don't get (01:51:01) it at (01:51:03) all um I didn't realize how totally (01:51:08) corrupt that there is no ideal at the (01:51:12) center of it that in any conceivable way (01:51:16) benefits the public Public's interest (01:51:18) democracy any of that informing the (01:51:19) public they can make informed decisions (01:51:21) on who to vote for like is the last (01:51:23) thing from anyone's (01:51:25) mind and it's actually it's actually the (01:51:28) most corrupt institution in the United (01:51:30) States by (01:51:32) far what do I know it's the only one (01:51:33) I've worked in but I can say it's it's (01:51:35) fundamentally corrupt like there's no (01:51:37) non-corrupt part period (01:51:41) period um and I realized that you know (01:51:43) incrementally over time it's the kind of (01:51:46) thing I'm still realizing I don't (01:51:47) consume anything like period anything at (01:51:50) all I don't want it in my head mhm I (01:51:52) don't want FL in my head and I don't (01:51:53) want lies in my head of course they both (01:51:56) manag to end up there but I have a (01:51:58) pretty tight screen cuz I just don't (01:52:00) want that so um yeah it's totally and (01:52:04) utterly corrupt and and that's why I I'm (01:52:07) coming to this late in life and I'm (01:52:09) coming to a cold from working in the (01:52:11) institutional media for over 30 years to (01:52:14) all of a sudden not in the last year and (01:52:17) um so there are a lot of things that are (01:52:19) obvious to you and your viewers and that (01:52:21) are not obvious to me that I'm just (01:52:22) learning I'm like wow it's I really do (01:52:24) feel like the last Chinese Soldier you (01:52:27) know like coming out like the war's over (01:52:28) really and everyone's like yeah it's (01:52:30) been 20 years you know that's like how I (01:52:31) feel but I'm Amazed by (01:52:35) podcasts I just think talk about it on a (01:52:38) likely Vector for truth a podcast when (01:52:43) podcast first started I mean I was not (01:52:46) even aware of it of course cuz I'm like (01:52:47) such in a different world but um I (01:52:50) became over time aware there was things (01:52:52) called podcast and I was like well (01:52:53) that's not going to work because the one (01:52:55) thing we know about information is it's (01:52:57) being diced into smaller pieces and (01:53:01) ultimately Tik Tok will be our only news (01:53:03) source like Tik Tok didn't exist but (01:53:05) like the idea that like 15 seconds a (01:53:07) video would be your source of (01:53:09) information that seemed obvious because (01:53:10) that was the trend line shorter faster (01:53:13) shallower more pictures fewer words you (01:53:16) know like those Trends were really (01:53:18) obvious and they were real but the idea (01:53:22) that people would sit in listen to (01:53:23) something for like (01:53:25) hours it's the opposite of what was (01:53:27) happening in my (01:53:29) world and I was like who would listen to (01:53:33) that who would ever listen to that (01:53:35) meanwhile Not only was the (01:53:37) media which is a source of all of her (01:53:39) information uh degrading and becoming (01:53:42) not only more corrupt but more obviously (01:53:43) corrupt but our educational system was (01:53:46) in like completely collapsed the (01:53:47) Humanity's collapsed there's no (01:53:49) education like none that's not an (01:53:50) overstatement I have a lot of children (01:53:52) they have a lot lot of friends young (01:53:54) people work for me no one learns (01:53:55) anything in college like at all it's (01:53:57) it's only brain in the humanities I'm (01:53:58) sure electrical engineering is different (01:54:00) veterinary school is different you know (01:54:01) but but in the sort of broad middle of (01:54:04) like I'm going to take English History (01:54:05) Communications media Stu you know all (01:54:07) it's all (01:54:09) fake and so that was happening and what (01:54:12) I didn't perceive is that all of that (01:54:15) stuff was moving to (01:54:17) podcasts I I guess cuz I have such a (01:54:19) dark and pessimistic (01:54:21) temperament thank you scavia I didn't I (01:54:25) assume that because the products that (01:54:28) people were consuming were getting worse (01:54:31) that people had lost their desire for (01:54:32) good products I guess I guess I assume (01:54:34) that without thinking of it but it (01:54:36) turned out that like no they were just (01:54:38) getting it from a different place like (01:54:39) there's a hunger to learn there's a (01:54:41) hunger not to be lied to people can tell (01:54:43) on they don't know exactly what the (01:54:44) truth is I have no idea exactly what the (01:54:46) truth is about anything but I know the (01:54:48) direction it's coming from and I (01:54:49) definitely know lying and there's a (01:54:51) natural human desire to be lied to and (01:54:54) to like what is that to understand (01:54:55) things curiosity is a human thing (01:54:57) curiosity died in the media they're now (01:54:59) officially opposed to curiosity just (01:55:02) asking questions is a crime in fact it's (01:55:04) my crime I have noticed just asking (01:55:06) questions (01:55:08) oh what I will never be embarrassed to (01:55:11) ask questions like sorry you can't make (01:55:13) me embarrassed of asking questions yeah (01:55:15) my motive is irrelevant by the way my (01:55:16) motive happens to be fairly pure I am (01:55:19) interested but even if my motive was (01:55:20) Sinister it doesn't change the fact of (01:55:22) it that answering questions is never bad (01:55:25) period (01:55:27) whatever but as so as the mainstream (01:55:30) media the big media companies were (01:55:32) becoming like just arms of the (01:55:34) government and just like full North (01:55:36) Korea media landscape like no one knows (01:55:38) anything it's all lies that is where we (01:55:40) are I can say that with great Authority (01:55:42) having worked there my whole life um (01:55:45) there was this incredible Renaissance (01:55:47) happening in the most unlikely of (01:55:50) mediums this podcast and not just about (01:55:53) politics but about (01:55:55) history it's incredible I mean there's (01:55:58) no way if you go to Trinity College (01:55:59) norford Connecticut where I (01:56:02) went not an impressive place um but even (01:56:05) if you go to I don't know pick a School (01:56:09) Dartmouth probably not going to learn (01:56:11) that much about legitimate history you (01:56:13) can learn it instantly in podcast (01:56:14) millions of people are you Le about the (01:56:16) fall of Rome 470 you know what happened (01:56:18) why did that happen or just the details (01:56:20) the Punic Wars name it it's on there (01:56:22) yeah and then that is the world (01:56:25) headquarters of free thinking and (01:56:27) honesty man of all the trends and again (01:56:30) this is right in my world this is Media (01:56:32) that's my world of all the trends in the (01:56:36) last 30 years that is the last one I (01:56:38) would have predicted and the most (01:56:40) hopeful it's incredible how do you like (01:56:42) doing it well I absolutely love it (01:56:44) because it's how I grew up I mean do you (01:56:45) like it do you like podcasting better (01:56:47) than I've done a total of two podcasts (01:56:49) in my life I mean I've been on well in (01:56:51) the last year i' never really been on (01:56:52) first of all I I work for a big Media (01:56:53) company we have our own world of (01:56:57) promotions or media relations I think (01:56:59) the last company I work for called it (01:57:00) that but it's just the PR department (01:57:02) okay and we have our own way of doing (01:57:05) things and it's huge company billion (01:57:06) multi-billion dollar company and they (01:57:08) have a way of doing it and all these (01:57:09) like 28-year-old girls are telling you (01:57:11) what you you know got to do an interview (01:57:12) with New York Times magazine you know (01:57:14) whatever (01:57:16) um so I'd never done podcast like (01:57:19) podcasts that's not even on the radar (01:57:20) they didn't know that existed really (01:57:23) they thought like Esquire where I used (01:57:25) to write or New York Times magazine they (01:57:27) thought that was really impressive it's (01:57:28) not impressive at all no one reads that (01:57:29) crap no one believes that the people who (01:57:31) do you don't care about because they're (01:57:33) dumb by definition they read the New (01:57:34) York Times and believe it what you'd (01:57:36) have to be like a pretty delusional low (01:57:38) IQ character to be in that position (01:57:40) right now no I'm serious I've written a (01:57:43) lot for the New York Times like I used (01:57:44) to read the New York Times every day but (01:57:45) it's absurd and everyone knows it's (01:57:46) absurd and if you don't know it's absurd (01:57:48) then I don't care about your opinion (01:57:49) like I'm not even going to argue that (01:57:50) with you so um I had never done podcasts (01:57:53) really and I did like a hunting podcast (01:57:56) in Maine once cuz I knew the guy or (01:57:57) whatever but I never done podcast so the (01:57:59) last year I've done all these (01:58:00) podcasts and I loved it it was so (01:58:04) fun and it was and it was fun because (01:58:07) it's exactly how I grew up like this is (01:58:10) like the most natural thing this is how (01:58:11) I grew up this is what we did for (01:58:12) entertainment sit around the table and (01:58:14) talk about what you think and what (01:58:15) you've read and and be as honest as you (01:58:18) can be like one of the I hate to say (01:58:20) this I guess I'm not say this but one of (01:58:22) the beauties of growing up you know as a (01:58:25) young child with like no women in the (01:58:28) house say whatever you want there's no (01:58:31) one to offend you know what I mean it's (01:58:34) like how I grew up so um you say (01:58:36) whatever you want and you can be as (01:58:39) honest as you want like there's just (01:58:41) dudes you know it's like you going to (01:58:42) offend your dad no probably not what (01:58:46) what he hasn't he seen are you going to (01:58:48) offend your little brother who cares you (01:58:50) can just really be honest and I love (01:58:51) that like the happiest times of my life (01:58:54) and and our family is that way and we (01:58:55) have exceedingly long dinners we play (01:58:58) games at the end we just it's just fun (01:59:00) and everyone's like everyone can say (01:59:01) exactly what they think like I just I've (01:59:03) always lived that way at home so a (01:59:06) podcast is like not different from that (01:59:09) really and our so I've done two EP so it (01:59:13) took me you know I'm very uh much a non- (01:59:16) genius so it takes me a while to like (01:59:17) figure out the obvious and after a year (01:59:20) of doing like cable news interviews on (01:59:22) the internet which did fine you know (01:59:24) it's fun I like interviewing people um (01:59:27) it finally occurred to me like the most (01:59:28) fun I've had in the last year I've done (01:59:30) two things that I really enjoyed since (01:59:31) getting fired one was being able to (01:59:34) travel around to different countries and (01:59:36) interview people there I couldn't do (01:59:38) that because I was stuck in a studio (01:59:40) every night I really love that so I want (01:59:42) to keep doing that and I am and the (01:59:44) second thing I've really enjoyed is (01:59:45) going on other people's podcasts I just (01:59:48) enjoyed it you know it's just fun and (01:59:51) why is that not fun it's fun (01:59:53) and why don't I do that and why don't I (01:59:56) do it like at my actual dining room (01:59:58) table in my barn when my son's (02:00:01) engagement party was or like where my (02:00:03) family actually eat like why not do that (02:00:05) and I don't I've had a makeup artist my (02:00:07) whole life as I told you and like that's (02:00:09) a little embarrassing to admit that I (02:00:11) used to tell me my kids your dad was (02:00:13) makeup um when they were little but why (02:00:16) do (02:00:17) that I am probably should be ashamed of (02:00:19) how I look but I'm actually not really (02:00:21) I'm married to the same girl really care (02:00:23) and so why not just do exactly what I (02:00:27) would do anyway and we've always had we (02:00:29) don't have (02:00:30) TV at our house and we don't go to the (02:00:33) movies or we don't like our (02:00:35) entertainment is meals like that's (02:00:37) always been our entertainment always and (02:00:38) we take them really seriously always (02:00:40) have people for dinner we always have 10 (02:00:42) 12 people at the table it's not you know (02:00:45) not super exciting but for us that's our (02:00:46) entertainment that's what we do and (02:00:47) that's what we've always done or since (02:00:49) the day week we were married we've done (02:00:51) that and that's as I've noted exactly (02:00:53) how I grew up so why not just do that (02:00:56) like why is that not great it is great (02:00:59) yeah I've only done it twice okay I (02:01:01) interviewed Aaron Rogers who I loved it (02:01:04) just a really good guy and I interviewed (02:01:06) a friend of mine called Dave Smith who's (02:01:08) a comedian but kind of a really smart (02:01:12) guy um who has the same instincts I have (02:01:15) about a lot of things and I'm just done (02:01:16) two and I and I have L it and I'm doing (02:01:19) three week for the foreseeable future (02:01:21) and why (02:01:23) not incredible well don't you I mean I I (02:01:27) always I don't always but I usually get (02:01:29) to the obvious conclusion (02:01:31) last I start with like let's do (02:01:33) something really elaborate and unlikely (02:01:35) and probably certain to fail and like (02:01:38) over time you're like you know probably (02:01:39) didn't need to do (02:01:41) that you know what I mean yeah I do I (02:01:44) think that about the last thing I'll say (02:01:45) I can't stop talking that's one of my (02:01:47) main faults but I always think that I (02:01:49) always you know you see these numbers (02:01:50) and like no one's (02:01:54) dating much less getting married much (02:01:55) less having kids and like men and women (02:01:57) don't understand each other it's all (02:01:58) it's all real it's like the central (02:01:59) tragedy of our time but I always think (02:02:02) it's it's kind of not that (02:02:04) hard like does she smell good is she (02:02:07) nice she have cute butt in your opinion (02:02:10) this is a very subjective question do (02:02:12) you find her (02:02:15) attractive probably just like if she's a (02:02:17) decent person you probably just marry (02:02:19) her and make the commitment and try hard (02:02:23) and conceive a bunch of kids that's (02:02:25) actually not that hard either having (02:02:26) done it and um like it's just not hard (02:02:29) it's like animals do this and they're (02:02:31) like pretty happy so just like take that (02:02:33) route don't overthink it you know what I (02:02:35) mean yep I do a little bit ago you were (02:02:38) talking about all the lies yeah that we (02:02:41) had we had I mean with (02:02:45) Co the media yeah Iraq I mean Iraq alone (02:02:50) you know and I've heard you talk about (02:02:52) 911 a little bit I'd love to dive in on (02:02:54) that but with building seven but I mean (02:02:58) I even Iraq I mean I was I was all about (02:03:00) it when we were there I thought we were (02:03:02) there for the right reasons I think the (02:03:04) whole country (02:03:05) thought at least at the beginning uh (02:03:08) that we were there for the right reasons (02:03:09) and (02:03:10) then you know and (02:03:13) then I mean I wasn't a big picture guy (02:03:15) was a hit this target right in front of (02:03:17) you guy and now looking back and seeing (02:03:21) chy ties to halberton and and for those (02:03:26) that don't know halberton was the (02:03:27) biggest Logistics comp it was the only (02:03:29) logistics company to my knowledge that (02:03:32) was I mean they did they built they (02:03:35) built the barracks they built the Chow (02:03:37) Halls they cooked the food they cleaned (02:03:39) the [ __ ] they supplied the [ __ ] (02:03:42) they did vehicle fuel they they did they (02:03:45) did the laundry they did every (02:03:48) logistical thing you can possibly (02:03:50) imagine (02:03:52) they basically built an entire City's (02:03:54) infrastructure out and when you look at (02:03:57) that when you look back at (02:03:59) that and and nothing was really (02:04:03) accomplished there other than pulling (02:04:05) Saddam out then you start looking (02:04:08) at at 911 (02:04:15) which could have been (02:04:18) prevented and (02:04:22) what isn't a [ __ ] (02:04:26) lie well um you know I would say (02:04:32) from you know the summer of 1914 until (02:04:35) present you know really the modern era (02:04:38) uh the beginning of the first world war (02:04:39) till now um most of the big the big (02:04:42) perceptions that we have about that are (02:04:44) wrong at at every sort of stage so I I (02:04:48) don't um I don't you know I don't know (02:04:51) the answer to most of the questions (02:04:53) where I'm going with this I mean even I (02:04:55) just interviewed this guy he was a he's (02:04:58) an he's an Afghan resistance fighter (02:05:01) yeah and I brought him (02:05:03) on and he is telling us and this has (02:05:07) been confirmed by another CIA targeter (02:05:10) which is going to be confirmed it's (02:05:11) leading on the whole Rabbit Hole of (02:05:13) interviews we're now giving the Taliban (02:05:15) 40 million do a (02:05:18) week did you know that I'm not surprised (02:05:21) at all $40 million a week we spent 20 (02:05:25) years 20 plus years fighting over there (02:05:28) the Taliban Al-Qaeda and now just on the (02:05:33) drop of a (02:05:34) hat 40 million a week which we'll find (02:05:37) out in a later interview it's actually (02:05:39) upwards of 87 million a (02:05:43) week yeah I mean there you know it's (02:05:46) it's everything has been a [ __ ] lie (02:05:48) yeah it's it's endless and um yeah I (02:05:51) mean I have thoughts about every single (02:05:52) thing you said I mean I guess the most (02:05:54) obvious respon is one let's let's start (02:05:56) declassifying some documents why are (02:05:58) there any 911 what was that actually and (02:06:00) I I don't know the answer I have a lot (02:06:02) of theories about it um I was not (02:06:04) fighting any wars of course I was just a (02:06:06) journalist but I was definitely as well (02:06:09) I don't I was in you know I was paying (02:06:11) close attention um in Washington and in (02:06:14) various locations around the world to (02:06:16) how that unfolded at the time (02:06:18) and um so but what but why in the world (02:06:22) would any 9911 document remain (02:06:25) classified yeah and thousands are and (02:06:27) and the fact that they are has styed a (02:06:29) series of lawsuits by the families of (02:06:32) people who killed at 911 against the (02:06:36) Saudi government now whether those suits (02:06:37) are Justified or not I I have no idea (02:06:39) but um I really don't know what I think (02:06:40) about all of that I suspect there's a (02:06:42) lot of lying there too but what's the (02:06:45) possible rationale in keeping any of (02:06:48) that classified and the truth is and (02:06:50) this is true in our private lives as (02:06:51) well as in our country's life um secrecy (02:06:55) AB bets dishonesty of course it's like I (02:06:58) don't want my wife to see my phone (02:07:00) why why you know what I mean a buddy of (02:07:04) mine once said to me have you heard of (02:07:05) Life 360 and I was like yeah the thing (02:07:07) where all your family members he goes (02:07:09) yeah my wife tried to get me on that no (02:07:10) [ __ ] way and I was like why well (02:07:14) there no one's business there's an (02:07:15) invasion of (02:07:17) private I started laughing we in hunting (02:07:20) I started laughing I said wow you're (02:07:26) by the way I love privacy you know I do (02:07:27) I think privacy is a prerequisite to (02:07:29) humanity like if no privacy you can't be (02:07:30) human I I believe in privacy however (02:07:33) secrecy is a slightly different thing (02:07:35) and and a Sinister thing actually why in (02:07:37) a democracy would we have big (02:07:38) secrets particularly decades down the (02:07:41) road or 80 years down the road in the (02:07:43) case of Kenedy assassination 61 years (02:07:45) down the road well of course the only (02:07:47) reason is to keep misdeeds hidden that's (02:07:51) the only reason period it's not sources (02:07:53) and methods sorry yeah you know so (02:07:56) anyway um let's just declassify it and (02:07:58) find out and of course that'll never (02:07:59) happen because there is deception at the (02:08:02) heart of that now I don't know exactly (02:08:03) why I have some thoughts on it but I (02:08:04) can't I don't know if they're true or (02:08:05) not so I'm not going to articulate them (02:08:07) but um you know there's definitely still (02:08:10) a lot of lying about that and people (02:08:11) sense it and whether they're right in (02:08:13) their specific theories or not I I can't (02:08:15) say but their right to be very (02:08:17) suspicious of 9/11 absolutely and we can (02:08:20) prove that because there are many (02:08:22) thousands of documents still classified (02:08:24) that is proof that there's something a (02:08:26) miss that there's lying period it's true (02:08:28) of the Kennedy assassination it's true (02:08:31) of everything that U remains hidden from (02:08:33) us what what could possibly be the (02:08:35) pretext for (02:08:36) hiding what our government is doing if (02:08:38) it is in fact our government if this is (02:08:40) an exercise in self-government if this (02:08:41) is a whatever you want to call it (02:08:43) constitutional republic democracy (02:08:44) whatever if the people rule what (02:08:47) possible justification could you have (02:08:48) from hiding something from me cuz it's (02:08:50) my government well of course the answer (02:08:51) is cuz it's not government it belongs to (02:08:53) the people who run it the organization (02:08:55) exists for its own sake not for yours (02:08:58) you just pay for it and that like kind (02:09:00) of justifies Revolution right there now (02:09:02) I'm not rooting for revolution don't (02:09:03) want one a lot of people will die I (02:09:05) don't know if it'll work they rarely (02:09:06) improve anything they leave lasting (02:09:09) scars I'm very anti-revolution however (02:09:12) as an academic matter you have the (02:09:13) groundwork for one because the system (02:09:16) itself is based on a lie and the LIE is (02:09:18) that the government serves the people (02:09:20) and that of course is not true it (02:09:21) oppresses the people and uses them as (02:09:22) Canon fodder and as bank accounts for (02:09:25) its own sake and that's not a system (02:09:28) that can continue very long because it's (02:09:30) it's it's fundamentally rotten I want to (02:09:34) dive into I don't want to believe any of (02:09:35) this but the evidence has convinced me I (02:09:38) I've heard you talk several times on (02:09:40) building seven and I never looked into (02:09:42) that until until right before this (02:09:45) interview uh just because of time (02:09:48) and so that building got reported being (02:09:51) down 26 minutes before it actually fell (02:09:55) and you can't totally normal yeah right (02:09:58) there's a woman on BBC conspiracy (02:10:00) theorist there's a woman on (02:10:02) TV talking on BBC talking about oh I've (02:10:06) seen it yeah talking about how the (02:10:08) building is already down is already (02:10:11) collapsed and it's right behind (02:10:13) her let me 26 minutes later the building (02:10:18) collapsed what do you think what what do (02:10:20) you think first of all how dare you for (02:10:22) noticing it's really your fault for (02:10:24) noticing that I think and I think you're (02:10:26) a bad person for noticing it okay just (02:10:28) to be clear um that's the official (02:10:30) position of Washington shut up I don't (02:10:33) know the answer of course I'm not a (02:10:35) structural engineer a lot of people (02:10:37) think what happened to building seven (02:10:38) seems imp a lot of Structural Engineers (02:10:40) have written this and think that seems (02:10:42) impossible it seems impossible to me too (02:10:43) but I don't know all I know is that in (02:10:47) as is as in the case that I described (02:10:49) with NATO and Trump if your answer to (02:10:51) sincere question like how did that (02:10:53) happen is shut up it's to attack me for (02:10:56) asking the question that I know you're (02:10:58) rotten I know you're serving evil I mean (02:11:00) that's the Hallmark of it you're (02:11:02) attacking me for asking an obvious (02:11:03) question really cuz I'm not a slave I (02:11:06) don't work for you I'm a free man in a (02:11:09) supposedly free country therefore I have (02:11:11) an inali right which is to say given by (02:11:13) God right to ask obvious questions or (02:11:16) even non- obvious questions any question (02:11:17) I want you can't attack me for that (02:11:19) certainly can't punish me for it but (02:11:20) they will so that just tells you that (02:11:22) they're bad period now how (02:11:26) bad I I don't know the answer to that in (02:11:29) what ways or exactly are they bad I (02:11:31) don't know but they've already showed me (02:11:32) they are bad so and those by the way are (02:11:34) like people I know personally and live (02:11:37) near and whose bidding I did unwittingly (02:11:39) for years so like I have a kind of (02:11:42) bitterness and intensity about my (02:11:44) feelings on the subjects that are just (02:11:46) real as I'm sure you do cuz you fought (02:11:48) their Wars know what I mean I didn't (02:11:50) fight their Wars I just watched (02:11:53) it's enraging yeah do you do (02:11:57) you I feel like we're being pushed into (02:12:01) Civil War yes oh of course who do you (02:12:05) think is pushed I mean it's all on (02:12:06) Instinct with the with the weaponization (02:12:09) of media social media Bots I mean all (02:12:12) this all all the (02:12:15) lies in the division I mean of course (02:12:18) who do you think is pushing (02:12:20) it or are we already in it well we're (02:12:23) already in it we're in a we're in we're (02:12:24) in definitely an Undeclared conflict (02:12:26) it's a conflict of course um this Happ (02:12:29) another country you would see this was (02:12:31) you know Strife of some kind I mean what (02:12:34) who knows what to call it but of course (02:12:37) I mean that's it's the oldest it is a (02:12:38) strategy I think it's I don't think it's (02:12:41) ever fully articulated anywhere by (02:12:42) anybody but it's a conspiracy of (02:12:44) like-minded instincts as I noted at the (02:12:46) beginning people from the same class the (02:12:49) beneficiaries of our current system um (02:12:53) understand what people all understand (02:12:54) intuitively which is divide and conquer (02:12:57) like fight amongst (02:12:59) yourselves hey white guy it's a black (02:13:01) guy's fault black guy the white guy is (02:13:03) impressing you or whatever you know (02:13:04) racism is America's biggest problem (02:13:06) right okay racism is non- America's (02:13:08) biggest problem um that's for sure or (02:13:10) whatever the thing or the Israel (02:13:14) protests you know the biggest thing (02:13:16) happening in America is a fight over a (02:13:18) fight in a far away country huh no over (02:13:23) 100,000 people just died in fentel this (02:13:24) year like what I'm not taking position (02:13:27) on the Israel thing I I'm coming at this (02:13:29) from very limited interest actually and (02:13:31) I'm not against Israel like nice country (02:13:33) to visit I wish everybody well just in (02:13:35) general I do I I want to try to but if (02:13:39) you're telling me that that conflict is (02:13:40) the biggest thing happening in my (02:13:43) country you know [ __ ] you actually cuz (02:13:45) no it's not (02:13:47) and that doesn't make me pramas or (02:13:50) anti-israel or pro-israel or Pro it (02:13:53) doesn't even matter like I'm American (02:13:55) like what so if you're filling up my (02:13:57) Airwaves in my brain with (02:14:00) that um first of all you're not serving (02:14:03) my interest because you're not telling (02:14:04) me about what's happening in my own (02:14:05) country and my own family and second (02:14:08) you're very likely trying to divert my (02:14:11) attention mislead me scramble my (02:14:14) priorities that's not they cannot be my (02:14:15) top priority cuz I'm not from that (02:14:17) country my top priority is my family in (02:14:20) this country and my family been hundreds (02:14:22) of years I think I have a right to say (02:14:23) that okay and you're trying to scramble (02:14:25) my priorities you're trying to make me (02:14:27) think that something that's not the most (02:14:28) important thing is the most important (02:14:30) thing and why you trying to do that and (02:14:32) um you know we can only guess but uh (02:14:35) it's bad it's Sinister that is (02:14:36) absolutely Sinister and again coming (02:14:38) from the news business a lifetime in it (02:14:40) I know that there's a reason I don't (02:14:42) know what it is and I also don't know if (02:14:43) the people pushing it know exactly what (02:14:45) it is a lot of these things happen as (02:14:47) they do in our daily lives on the basis (02:14:50) of instinct not forethought (02:14:52) I don't have a plan well I have no plans (02:14:54) I never have any plans I'm not a planner (02:14:55) I don't believe in planning that's why I (02:14:57) don't believe in careers I don't believe (02:14:59) in any of it that's not how my life is (02:15:00) unfolded I'm not doing what I thought I (02:15:01) would be doing God has a plan I don't so (02:15:04) I really feel that so I don't think that (02:15:06) there is like some conspiracy (02:15:08) necessarily but there's a conspiracy of (02:15:11) like-minded instincts when when I'm I'm (02:15:13) just guessing we've not talked about (02:15:14) this but and I bear no anger toward (02:15:17) transvestites or transsexuals or (02:15:19) whatever we're calling them at all I (02:15:20) feel no anger at all I feel (02:15:23) sadness and I actually don't even feel (02:15:25) that much other people's weirdnesses (02:15:26) have never bothered me cuz I grew up in (02:15:28) a weird world but I know the my reaction (02:15:31) the first time somebody told me that a (02:15:32) man can become a woman I was like that's (02:15:34) [ __ ] crazy (02:15:38) no I want to tell you about this (02:15:41) business venture I've been on for about (02:15:42) the past 78 months and it's finally come (02:15:46) to (02:15:47) fruition I've been hellbent on finding (02:15:50) the cleanest functional mushroom (02:15:53) supplement on the planet and that all (02:15:55) kind of stemmed from the Psychedelic (02:15:58) treatment I did came out of it got a ton (02:16:00) of benefits haven't had a drop of (02:16:02) alcohol in almost 2 years I'm more in (02:16:05) the moment with my family and that led (02:16:07) me down researching the benefits of just (02:16:09) everyday functional mushrooms and I (02:16:12) started taking some supplements I found (02:16:14) some coffee Replacements I even repped a (02:16:16) brand and you know it got to the point (02:16:19) where I just wanted the fin finest (02:16:22) ingredients available no matter where (02:16:24) they come from and it it it got to this (02:16:29) point where I was just going to start my (02:16:30) own brand and so we started going to (02:16:33) trade shows and and looking for the (02:16:36) finest ingredients and and doing that I (02:16:38) ran into this guy maybe you've heard of (02:16:41) him his name's lar Hamilton and his wife (02:16:44) Gabby Reese and they have an entire line (02:16:47) of supplements with all the finest (02:16:49) ingredients and we got to talking turns (02:16:54) out they have the perfect functional (02:16:59) mushroom supplement it's actually called (02:17:02) performance (02:17:03) mushrooms and this has everything it's (02:17:06) USDA organic it's got chaga craps Lion's (02:17:09) man (02:17:10) Miaki this stuff is amazing for energy (02:17:15) balance for cognition look just being (02:17:18) honest see a lot of people taking care (02:17:20) of their bodies I do not see a lot of (02:17:22) people taking care of their (02:17:23) brain this is the product guys and so we (02:17:28) got to talking and our Valu seemed very (02:17:33) aligned we're both into the functional (02:17:36) mushrooms and after a lot of back and (02:17:39) forth I am now a shareholder in the (02:17:44) company I have a small amount of (02:17:46) ownership and I'm just look I'm just (02:17:49) really proud to be repping (02:17:52) and be a part of the company that's (02:17:54) making the best functional mushroom (02:17:56) supplement on the planet you can get (02:17:58) this stuff at layered superfoods.com you (02:18:03) can use the promo code SRS that'll get (02:18:05) you 20% off these performance mushrooms (02:18:09) or anything in the store they got a ton (02:18:11) of good stuff once again that's layered (02:18:13) superfoods.com use the promo code SRS (02:18:17) that get you 20% off you guys are going (02:18:20) to love this stuff I get guarantee (02:18:29) it over the past several years vigilance (02:18:31) lead patreon has fueled what you now see (02:18:34) today the Sha Ryan Show because of our (02:18:37) patrons and their support has enabled us (02:18:39) to produce the best quality Productions (02:18:41) that you see weekly including our small (02:18:44) team that continues to grow I've done a (02:18:46) complete restructure of vigilance Elite (02:18:48) patreon in 2024 by adding new (02:18:51) and improved tiers and giving them a (02:18:54) unique name tier one is now known as the (02:18:56) Seeker tier two is known as the (02:18:58) protector and tier three is now known as (02:19:01) the defender in our newest tier tier (02:19:04) four is known as the Patriots one of our (02:19:08) top benefits by joining tier one is (02:19:09) getting early access to all of the Shawn (02:19:12) Ryan shows this includes both audio and (02:19:16) video our tier 2 option houses the old (02:19:18) school tactical training library that is (02:19:20) still used news today along with our (02:19:22) newest benefit a behindth scenes take of (02:19:25) the Shawn Ryan Show I also include my (02:19:27) file notes that give you a rundown of (02:19:30) what me and my guests will discuss (02:19:32) during the next episode tier three is (02:19:33) the next option that allows you to have (02:19:35) an endof the month Zoom call with me (02:19:38) 24-hour Early Access merch drops and a (02:19:41) chance to be featured in the Shawn Ryan (02:19:44) Show by asking a question for me to ask (02:19:46) the guest our last here is for those (02:19:48) that are committed to the cause and (02:19:50) expect nothing in return although you (02:19:53) will get access to all tiers 1 2 and (02:19:56) three no matter how big or small your (02:19:57) contribution has been on vigilance Elite (02:20:00) patreon it has made a huge impact on the (02:20:03) success of the Shawn Ryan show you see (02:20:06) without you there will be no show there (02:20:09) will be no team to support me in the (02:20:11) thousands and thousands possibly (02:20:13) millions of lives that we've been able (02:20:15) to have positive impacts on would have (02:20:18) never happened and for that I would like (02:20:21) to personally thank you you can join me (02:20:23) today for as little as $5 a month by (02:20:26) visiting vigilance Elite (02:20:32) patreon and I'm sure you felt the same (02:20:35) way I'm not mad at just like that (02:20:37) actually can't happen it's not actually (02:20:38) true mhm there were a lot of people some (02:20:42) of whom I know who were like yeah that (02:20:43) can happen so why did they think that (02:20:45) and I thought what I thought because we (02:20:46) have different instincts actually now (02:20:48) who knows why maybe it's genetic maybe (02:20:49) it's social ization I have no idea all I (02:20:52) know is the world was divided as it is (02:20:54) on so many issues into people who had (02:20:56) one gut reaction versus people who had (02:20:58) another gut (02:20:59) reaction and people have a very specific (02:21:02) gut reaction which and I think across (02:21:03) the board is destructive let's let's (02:21:05) destroy something those people are in (02:21:07) charge let's break it whether it's (02:21:11) Ukraine or whatever they're into (02:21:13) breaking things not into breaking things (02:21:16) at all I hate breaking things I hate (02:21:18) vandalism I hate graffiti I hate (02:21:20) watching beautiful buildings collapse (02:21:22) from lack of care or attention like I (02:21:25) hate that I believe in preserving things (02:21:27) and Building Things and creating things (02:21:28) making I made this here's what I made (02:21:30) that's the highest level of expression (02:21:32) and for some reason we went up with this (02:21:34) leadership class it's all about breaking (02:21:35) [ __ ] let's just get rid of it let's just (02:21:37) break it oh the (02:21:39) grid do you know how complex a power (02:21:41) grid is you know how it took a hundred (02:21:43) years to figure out our [ __ ] power (02:21:45) grid really smart people with (02:21:47) Specialties you can't even (02:21:50) understand wattage amperage you don't (02:21:52) know the difference ACDC you don't know (02:21:53) the you know anything about electricity (02:21:54) and you're going to replace our grid you (02:21:57) don't know anything you have no (02:21:59) skills that's a that's a gut reaction I (02:22:02) can't understand like I approach any (02:22:04) everything with like a profound sense of (02:22:05) my own ignorance I don't know how that (02:22:06) works so I'm not going to break it and (02:22:10) so people with this weird and (02:22:11) destructive Instinct that's what it is (02:22:13) it's not a conspiracy an instinct have (02:22:16) taken over all the levers of (02:22:18) power and I I think it's like a (02:22:21) spiritual Force that's my personal view (02:22:22) I can't prove it but I I really believe (02:22:24) it but maybe it's not maybe it's (02:22:25) something else but that's what I (02:22:27) perceive and well that's what I think it (02:22:29) is too I (02:22:31) mean nothing anymore makes any damn (02:22:35) sense if I'm convinced that when we when (02:22:37) we die we will see that every (02:22:40) everything that we know or think we know (02:22:44) yeah is a lie I totally (02:22:46) agree yeah well I I know that that's (02:22:49) true I tell you how I know but I do know (02:22:52) that that when we die we'll know we're (02:22:54) going to well it'll all make sense I do (02:22:56) I know (02:22:57) that for whatever it's worth (02:23:00) so sorry but um I yes that is absolutely (02:23:04) true when we die and I was talking to a (02:23:06) friend of mine recently who is like a (02:23:10) new friend of mine but I really love (02:23:11) that's the cool thing about this moment (02:23:13) is like you're meeting all these people (02:23:15) who are so deep and honest it's like (02:23:17) it's wonderful it almost makes up for (02:23:18) everything s but I was talking to (02:23:20) someone recently and he said to me he (02:23:23) goes not excited to die I've got all (02:23:24) these kids or whatever I don't want no (02:23:25) one wants to die but kind of Psych to (02:23:28) like understand what all this (02:23:31) is I've had this conversation several (02:23:34) times oh yeah yeah I feel that way you (02:23:37) do totally and I'm looking forward to (02:23:39) death at all I'm I happen not to be (02:23:41) afraid of it you want the answers I know (02:23:43) what makes sense yeah and I know I know (02:23:46) as a dead certain fact that that awaits (02:23:50) so do you think that do you think that (02:23:55) the kind of pushing us (02:23:58) into Civil War scenario do you think (02:24:01) that is to distract us or do you think (02:24:03) that's to dismantle the entire United (02:24:06) States or (02:24:09) both again I I don't know that anyone (02:24:13) anywhere I was with cl Schwab this (02:24:16) winter you were with cl swab I was with (02:24:18) I just s of casually dropped that Sean I (02:24:20) was with CL Schwab Schwab to me no I was (02:24:24) at I spoke at an event in the Middle (02:24:25) East he was at in um whatever I don't (02:24:28) know CL but I got to see him up close (02:24:30) you know and uh he's like an idiot he's (02:24:34) like an elderly idiot it seems a little (02:24:36) scile like doesn't have any idea what (02:24:38) he's talking about at all he's totally (02:24:40) unimpressive and it was just another (02:24:42) reminder that the closer you get like a (02:24:44) Tori Anan for example who basically (02:24:46) started the current war in Ukraine she's (02:24:49) like this kind of sad f dumb girl you (02:24:51) know actually and the closer you get the (02:24:55) more you realize the people running (02:24:57) things are like mediocre their buffoons (02:25:00) they they have no idea what they're (02:25:01) doing Tony blinkin I mean really anyway (02:25:05) um no I don't think there's like a (02:25:07) conspiracy I doubt they're smart enough (02:25:09) to like articulate it and write it down (02:25:11) or anything like that but it's just like (02:25:13) again they (02:25:14) just they are weak people they're (02:25:18) motivated by rage and envy V they are (02:25:22) not the people who built the current (02:25:23) society that we live in anything worth (02:25:25) having they did not build from our (02:25:26) beautiful train (02:25:27) stations to our power grid to any of our (02:25:30) infrastructure to Harvard University to (02:25:33) our legal code to anything that's great (02:25:35) about (02:25:36) America they didn't you know protect the (02:25:39) national parks they nothing to do with (02:25:40) the Yellowstone like they didn't they (02:25:41) didn't create anything they're not (02:25:42) capable of it and they're mad about it (02:25:44) and they're mad in the way that (02:25:46) primitive envious people are mad you (02:25:48) know they don't celebrate Beauty they (02:25:49) destroy Beauty you see this a lot it's (02:25:52) one of the main motivators of evil in my (02:25:55) view and they just want to tear it down (02:25:57) just want to tear it down they're mad (02:25:58) about it like they couldn't have done (02:25:59) that dead white men okay who created our (02:26:02) entire Society like everything all our (02:26:04) founding documents everything and they (02:26:06) hate them most why do they hate them (02:26:08) actually why would you be mad why are (02:26:09) you mad at James Madison like he's long (02:26:10) gone Thomas Jefferson own slaves okay (02:26:13) unlike Muhammad you know or whatever you (02:26:15) know they come they come up with these (02:26:16) pretext to justify their hate but really (02:26:18) it's just Envy cuz they're not capable (02:26:20) people they have no skills like Tony (02:26:22) blinkin yeah like Tony blinkin couldn't (02:26:24) change a tire on your truck like he's a (02:26:26) [ __ ] idiot like actually it's not a (02:26:28) surprise that he's mismanaged the world (02:26:30) he's out there like playing guitar in (02:26:31) Kiev which he calls keev because he's (02:26:33) just like a he's like a child they all (02:26:36) are and they're mad about the fact that (02:26:40) they're fraudulent and weak and helpless (02:26:42) actually supply chain breaks down they (02:26:44) all St to death like they know that and (02:26:46) they're mad about it and um and so they (02:26:48) want to wreck the things that others (02:26:50) built this is like the oldest story (02:26:52) there is you think that's that's what it (02:26:54) is of course it's why the vandals sacked (02:26:56) Rome of course you built you built this (02:26:58) great it's why people spray graffiti on (02:27:00) beautiful buildings in New York City you (02:27:02) didn't build this neither did your (02:27:04) ancestors you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] you (02:27:05) couldn't build anything so you tear it (02:27:07) down of course it's the oldest impulse (02:27:10) there is vandalism it's all vandalism (02:27:13) man and vandalism is committed by (02:27:15) vandals and vandals are by definition (02:27:19) primitive and (02:27:21) they may have gone to (02:27:22) HBS they may be rich but they're still (02:27:26) Primitives actually they're not capable (02:27:28) of any of this that's why and they have (02:27:30) no appreciation for beauty at all they (02:27:32) hate Beauty it's the first thing and (02:27:33) look at their architecture it tells you (02:27:34) they hate Beauty look at their Modern (02:27:36) Art it's anti- Beauty it's ugly on (02:27:38) purpose because they don't have the (02:27:40) ability to create something beautiful (02:27:42) because they're totally non-creative (02:27:44) actually and non-creative people are (02:27:46) hostile to Beauty creative people love (02:27:49) beauty of course it's what they to (02:27:51) create themselves just like self-made (02:27:53) people are not afraid of going bankrupt (02:27:54) because they can build it (02:27:56) again you're entirely self-made person (02:27:59) if someone took away the studio build (02:28:01) another one because you would because (02:28:03) you know you have that power inherited (02:28:05) money people who've created nothing (02:28:07) they're living off the creation of (02:28:09) others are terrified of losing anything (02:28:12) because they know they can't replace it (02:28:14) so our leadership class that's a [ __ ] (02:28:16) great Point our leadership class is (02:28:18) basically with the inherited money stage (02:28:20) of Empire where we're all living on the (02:28:22) labor of people who are long dead and we (02:28:24) know we can't recreate it we could not (02:28:25) create our power grid right now we don't (02:28:27) have enough Engineers to do that and so (02:28:31) all these fantasies will soon Crash and (02:28:32) Burn and I would include EVs and Ai and (02:28:35) all the other energy devouring acronyms (02:28:38) that we're now in love with all those (02:28:40) need to be powered by electricity and (02:28:42) our current grid can't do it not even (02:28:44) close to do it like I'm not good at math (02:28:45) but even I know that yeah and so at some (02:28:48) point someone is going to need to move (02:28:49) from the world to the theoretical AI EVS (02:28:52) all these stupid ideas their stupid (02:28:54) justifications climate change what (02:28:56) whatever whatever they are going to need (02:28:59) to move to like the field of like (02:29:02) physical engineering how do we create (02:29:03) enough electricity how do these (02:29:05) competing imperatives of like stopping (02:29:07) climate change we can control the (02:29:08) weather because we're God how does that (02:29:11) mesh with the idea that none of us are (02:29:13) ever going to have to work again because (02:29:14) computers will make the decisions for us (02:29:16) AI well they they they're going to need (02:29:19) like practical answers and this class of (02:29:21) people who run our country are totally (02:29:23) incapable of coming up with those (02:29:24) answers because they have no skills and (02:29:26) that's why they're destroying it I mean (02:29:27) it it's so obvious what's (02:29:30) happening and cuz history is this is the (02:29:34) same story anyway (02:29:41) man do you think we're going into World (02:29:43) War (02:29:44) II really close to it as you know really (02:29:48) really really close the fact that anyone (02:29:50) would even consider getting within a (02:29:54) thousand miles of [ __ ] around with a (02:29:56) nuclear (02:29:57) exchange just shows you that (02:30:01) um the the core impulse here is (02:30:05) suicide that's what really that's what (02:30:07) all of us is and that's why I personally (02:30:09) think it's spiritual I think it's the (02:30:11) word demonic is suddenly being overused (02:30:13) it's everywhere because it's real but um (02:30:17) yeah if you see a human movement that's (02:30:19) anti-human the push toward nuclear war (02:30:22) for its own sake is by definition (02:30:23) anti-human I would say AI is anti-human (02:30:26) by (02:30:27) definition transgenderism is anti-human (02:30:29) by definition transhumanism is (02:30:32) anti-human do people act against their (02:30:35) own long-term interest probably not (02:30:36) actually so it's probably not human I (02:30:39) mean I'm like looking at this like very (02:30:41) artistically very simply trying to (02:30:43) reduce it to its most basic elements and (02:30:45) like any movement that's anti-human is (02:30:46) probably not human is it (02:30:50) probably did Dogs act against their own (02:30:52) Collective interest do caribou do (02:30:55) porcupines do single cell amoeba to see (02:30:59) cucumbers no none of them do no animal (02:31:01) does that because it's not natural (02:31:03) animals are part of nature they do (02:31:05) natural things people are subject to the (02:31:07) supernatural so they do things that are (02:31:09) not natural like kill themselves that's (02:31:12) why we're the only species that kills (02:31:15) itself right so when you kill yourself (02:31:17) whether slowly or all at once you're (02:31:20) you're being acted on by forces outside (02:31:22) of you spiritual forces (02:31:24) obviously I'm just trying to apply logic (02:31:27) [Laughter] (02:31:30) here you had mentioned several times (02:31:33) that you think that the UFO (02:31:36) UAP type phenomena stuff is all (02:31:39) spiritual I think I I and I don't I mean (02:31:42) look I should just State about every (02:31:44) topic like I don't know [ __ ] nobody (02:31:47) knows [ __ ] yeah that's well that is the (02:31:49) root of all wisdom as my father always (02:31:50) say when we kids the root of all wisdom (02:31:52) is knowing what an [ __ ] you are and I (02:31:54) think that is totally and knowing how (02:31:55) ignorant you are and how limited your (02:31:58) foresight is and all that so I don't (02:32:00) know but yeah I would bet my my house on (02:32:03) it at least some of it is I mean I'm (02:32:04) sure some of it's like advanced (02:32:05) technology that we possess US Government (02:32:08) clearly does possess a lot of technology (02:32:11) that is not publicly known about or (02:32:13) available or only in fragments I mean (02:32:15) that's clearly true you've done a lot on (02:32:17) this um I mean that's why I first out to (02:32:20) you cuz you did such an amazing segment (02:32:22) on that I was like shocked by it how (02:32:23) great it was that's why I'm sitting here (02:32:26) so you know all this and clearly that's (02:32:28) part of it but there are other things (02:32:29) that are clearly not they baffled the US (02:32:33) government here's what I'm really (02:32:34) surprised by and I've actually stopped (02:32:36) Gathering string on as we say in (02:32:38) reporting stopped Gathering string on (02:32:39) this gathering information because I'm (02:32:42) satisfied that I know enough and I don't (02:32:43) really want to know that much more cuz (02:32:45) what I think I know is you know this (02:32:47) doesn't help me at all to know that so (02:32:50) so that's the conclusion I've reached (02:32:51) I'm usually pretty curious I've stopped (02:32:53) being curious about this because I don't (02:32:54) want to know anymore but um you you (02:32:57) truly don't want to know anymore about (02:32:58) it N I think I know I think I know (02:33:00) what's up so I can't prove it so (02:33:02) probably not going to articulate it but (02:33:03) I think I know what's up (02:33:04) yeah but can you articulate it well I (02:33:07) think it's I think it's (02:33:09) a you know I think it's a really old (02:33:11) story you know I think it's a really old (02:33:13) story so that's what I think what is it (02:33:17) well one you know I'm a Christian and I (02:33:20) am fairly sincere about it I try to be (02:33:23) sincere about it (02:33:25) um more sincere than ever for sure but (02:33:29) one thing that you notice about all (02:33:32) every world religion I'm familiar with (02:33:33) I'm interested in that topic there are (02:33:35) commonalities between religions you know (02:33:38) Jesus is unique and I believe in Jesus (02:33:40) so I'm (02:33:42) not I don't believe in any kind of (02:33:44) pantheology okay I don't think they're (02:33:46) all equal or anything like that I think (02:33:48) mine is correct I think that (02:33:50) sorry but there are commonalities that (02:33:53) are very striking between all world (02:33:56) religions I'm aware of and all creation (02:33:58) myths and one of them and this is of (02:34:00) course true for Christianity very true (02:34:03) is that the belief (02:34:06) that um supernatural beings take (02:34:08) physical (02:34:10) form they all believe that the Greek (02:34:12) myths Jesus most (02:34:15) famously um but that they take physical (02:34:17) form that they're not just like some (02:34:18) ethereal they're not just Shadows (02:34:20) floating around specters fog that (02:34:23) they're physical like they're as real as (02:34:27) the arm of your (02:34:28) chair and um and that they reproduce (02:34:32) with people again Christianity believes (02:34:34) that Jesus a maculate conception spirit (02:34:38) reproduces with human woman that's (02:34:40) that's what the story (02:34:41) is it is described in Genesis as well in (02:34:44) Genesis 6 again it's not just the (02:34:47) religion of the ancient Hebrews or the (02:34:48) religion of the modern Christians (02:34:51) um it's Hinduism as well and um the (02:34:55) animist religions the religions of to (02:34:58) the extent we understand them or know (02:34:59) about them of the American Indians all (02:35:01) the (02:35:02) same so if if every culture in the world (02:35:06) that we know about has left any kind of (02:35:08) written or physical record is reaching (02:35:10) the same conclusions about something (02:35:13) maybe there's something there H mhm and (02:35:16) maybe it's not so crazy to think that (02:35:19) what everyone else has always thought (02:35:21) since the beginning of time which that (02:35:23) there is this combination in cases of (02:35:27) you know human beings and the spiritual (02:35:30) realm whatever that is I can speak about (02:35:32) it with no Precision at all because I (02:35:33) don't understand the specifics of it but (02:35:35) I know that um it has been written about (02:35:38) since people have been writing and uh so (02:35:41) it's a little weird to think that in (02:35:44) 1945 really the day we dropped that (02:35:47) first bomb on Hiroshima um from then (02:35:49) until now which is it's just a just a a (02:35:51) speck of time in the Continuum of (02:35:53) history for that one period we've (02:35:55) assumed that's not true but everyone (02:35:57) else has always assumed it is true I'm (02:35:59) kind of going with everyone else on that (02:36:00) just on the odds (02:36:03) okay it's a very long-winded way of (02:36:05) answering your question but I think (02:36:06) that's kind of what we're looking at I (02:36:08) think that I think there's I think (02:36:09) there's some evidence that that's real (02:36:12) so and I don't want to fully articulate (02:36:13) it because it sounds like so out of the (02:36:15) realm but it's not out of the anyone (02:36:17) else's realm in fact it was at the very (02:36:18) center of everyone else's realm until (02:36:20) like just the other day so I don't think (02:36:22) it's a crazy thing to think and I and I (02:36:24) and I happen to believe that's true so (02:36:26) whatever but I can't prove it so I'm I'm (02:36:27) certainly not an evangelist on the (02:36:29) subject at all and I also don't know how (02:36:31) that helps anybody to say it so I've (02:36:32) like tried not to talk about it because (02:36:34) because I don't I don't know it's true (02:36:35) and I don't really know what you do (02:36:36) about it if it is what was than say your (02:36:38) prayers what was it that uh you know (02:36:41) what was it that led you to believe (02:36:43) talking to a lot of people I got really (02:36:45) interested in it and since that is my (02:36:47) job that's literally my job is to call (02:36:49) people and see them and have dinner with (02:36:51) them and talk to them me that's what (02:36:52) I've done my whole life so it's it's (02:36:53) like that's just natural for me it's not (02:36:54) a hobby it's my profession I don't I (02:36:57) hate to use the word reporting because (02:36:58) it's been so discredited by the Liars oh (02:37:00) we've done a lot of reporting here at (02:37:02) NBC News we've done a lot of reporting (02:37:03) [ __ ] liar you know you you talk to (02:37:06) some flak at CIA who told you a bunch of (02:37:08) Lies which you're now repeating to me (02:37:09) and my kids so shut up you've been done (02:37:11) reporting I hate to use the word (02:37:13) reporting but just like just like (02:37:15) satisfying your curiosity by trying to (02:37:16) identify who might know talking to a (02:37:18) bunch of people about it assessing who's (02:37:20) telling the truth maybe they're wrong (02:37:21) anyway but you can kind of feel whether (02:37:23) someone's telling the truth and there's (02:37:24) there are ways to (02:37:26) know or to get closer to knowing whether (02:37:28) someone's tell just talk to a lot of (02:37:30) people and I've done that because I got (02:37:32) really interested in it um sort of by (02:37:33) accident I never thought I'd be (02:37:34) interested in this at all and so I (02:37:36) talked to a lot of people and I was (02:37:38) really shocked by what credible people (02:37:41) told me they could all be wrong of (02:37:43) course you know I don't I can't prove it (02:37:45) yeah but I became completely satisfied (02:37:49) I'll say that that they were not lying (02:37:51) and that they were right or in the (02:37:53) vicinity of right you know I always (02:37:55) assume the details are wrong I was a (02:37:57) police reporter for a while and you (02:37:58) interview someone like a a shooting you (02:38:00) know you've obviously seen shootings but (02:38:02) most people don't see shootings so you (02:38:03) think if you saw a shooting you'd like (02:38:05) remember every detail with the shooting (02:38:06) they get them all wrong you know people (02:38:08) don't aren't good at detail okay that's (02:38:09) just true but they are good at (02:38:12) themes they're good at themes like they (02:38:16) remember the guy's fat he may have been (02:38:18) 400 lb he may have been 280 he was fat (02:38:20) like if everyone says the guy was fat he (02:38:22) was fat like that's we do we can't say (02:38:24) that and so if everybody you talk to is (02:38:27) saying this is really upsetting I don't (02:38:29) know what this means but here's what I (02:38:31) know here's what I heard someone say I (02:38:32) was in a meeting or here's what you know (02:38:34) what I mean it was that kind of stuff (02:38:36) and I didn't talk to anybody in the UFO (02:38:40) Community I'm not even sure what that is (02:38:42) I know I don't trust any I I don't trust (02:38:44) anybody actually you know what I mean (02:38:47) like it's not my job to do to trust (02:38:49) people so it's my job to to assess (02:38:51) whether what they're saying is right or (02:38:52) not so I talked to people who I thought (02:38:54) had firsthand knowledge I talked to a (02:38:56) number of them and then I was like whoa (02:38:59) whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I'm out because (02:39:02) I don't need to go farther than that I (02:39:03) mean I I think that the real struggles (02:39:05) are unseen that is absolutely a part of (02:39:09) Christian theology I didn't fully (02:39:10) appreciate it at all it's a part of (02:39:12) every theology in fact it is theology (02:39:13) that is theology the belief that the (02:39:16) real struggles are in the spiritual (02:39:18) realm that has been a constant belief (02:39:21) since the beginning of history recorded (02:39:24) history everybody has thought that (02:39:27) except us in the west since 1945 I just (02:39:30) want I can't say that enough so once you (02:39:32) get perspective on this question you're (02:39:34) like okay that may sound crazy to (02:39:37) someone who thinks buying [ __ ] on Amazon (02:39:39) is the meaning of life but to every (02:39:41) other person in the world we may (02:39:43) disagree about what the truth is we I'm (02:39:45) sure we will but we will never disagree (02:39:48) with the fact that there's a lot of [ __ ] (02:39:50) going on that we cannot see or measure (02:39:52) with our senses um that is absolutely (02:39:55) true and of course looking back you like (02:39:58) have experiences and we talked about (02:39:59) this in great detail at breakfast you (02:40:01) look back and you're (02:40:02) like okay that's what the duh like the (02:40:06) only surprise is not that it happened (02:40:08) but that it took you Blockhead so long (02:40:11) to see it clearly and then to admit it (02:40:13) there's like some got to say one thing (02:40:15) and then I'll I'll stop I'm so I cannot (02:40:17) keep a (02:40:18) straight trajectory with my thinking (02:40:21) sometimes but um what I find so striking (02:40:23) about the UFOs this is the main takeaway (02:40:24) I have is like there's this debate like (02:40:28) is this stuff these phenomena which are (02:40:29) clearly obviously real I mean there's no (02:40:31) debate about that there's a lot of [ __ ] (02:40:32) that people can't explain in the sky and (02:40:34) underwater we know that fact is this so (02:40:38) the debate is is this government (02:40:39) technology is it from outer space or is (02:40:42) it some (02:40:44) spiritual realm here I've already told (02:40:47) you my view of it but what I find so (02:40:50) interesting we know the government's (02:40:51) lied about it they're lying about it now (02:40:52) that's a fact there's no way around that (02:40:54) they've absolutely lied about it in very (02:40:55) elaborate ways I really struck here's my (02:40:58) current thinking on it the main effort (02:41:01) that the US government has put into its (02:41:03) disinformation it's lying on this topic (02:41:06) has been not to mislead you on the (02:41:09) technology like they're not telling me (02:41:11) they don't have anti-gravity technology (02:41:12) it sounds from watching your podcast (02:41:14) that they do which I believe no problem (02:41:17) believing that their main interest in is (02:41:19) in convincing that the Supernatural is (02:41:21) not (02:41:22) real that's and if you watch and there (02:41:25) are people in the media who specialize (02:41:28) in spreading these lies on behalf of the (02:41:30) government I'm not going to name anybody (02:41:31) but like some of them work at the New (02:41:32) York Times if you once you realize what (02:41:35) the point of the exercise is it's crazy (02:41:37) and I hope you'll assess all the (02:41:40) factchecking and the skepticism on uaps (02:41:43) through this lens the main thing they (02:41:45) want you to believe is the Supernatural (02:41:47) is not (02:41:48) real then you have to ask yourself like (02:41:50) why that's interesting it is so (02:41:53) interesting why is that important to you (02:41:56) why do you care if I think the (02:41:57) Supernatural is real like why why why is (02:41:59) that first of all why is it how dare you (02:42:01) as my government try to get involved in (02:42:03) my spiritual beliefs that's totally not (02:42:05) your area so get the [ __ ] out of there (02:42:07) okay a but B why has that been so (02:42:10) important for 80 years for you to (02:42:12) convince me the super natural is not (02:42:14) real why why is that and of course I (02:42:16) can't answer the question but my gut (02:42:19) level response is well because if it is (02:42:21) real whatever they're telling you is not (02:42:23) real and if they're punishing you for (02:42:24) saying something you know for a fact (02:42:25) it's not real you're not allowed to say (02:42:26) that oh not cuz it's they don't have no (02:42:29) problem with me lying because they lie (02:42:31) they lie for a living so lying brings no (02:42:35) sanction you can lie all you want what (02:42:37) you can't do is tell the truth that is a (02:42:39) fact so once you know that you can sort (02:42:42) of reverse engineer their lies and know (02:42:45) with some certainty that whatever (02:42:46) they're telling you is not true is in (02:42:47) fact true that's exactly the truth (02:42:49) exactly the truth but then you have to (02:42:51) ask motive like it's not a profit motive (02:42:53) like does it make them Rich to deny that (02:42:55) there's Supernatural forces (02:42:58) no what is that and I don't know the (02:43:01) answer but um the obvious answer is well (02:43:03) because they sort of know they're (02:43:05) working for Supernatural forces actually (02:43:08) and I think that's probably true and (02:43:10) they they the US government is millions (02:43:12) of people is is (02:43:14) there a specific reason or a handful of (02:43:19) reasons or is this a hunch did you (02:43:22) believe that they're working with the (02:43:24) supernatural (02:43:26) realm or have a relation I can't prove (02:43:28) that I mean I I I'm I'm suggesting that (02:43:31) I'm not saying it because I can't prove (02:43:32) it but I'm suggesting it and if you're (02:43:35) asking whether I believe it the answer (02:43:36) is yes um but I think I believe that for (02:43:40) two reasons one because I told that (02:43:42) directly by a couple of people who (02:43:43) things seem (02:43:44) knowledgeable um and I attach some (02:43:46) weight to that though not conclusive (02:43:48) weight I don't know I don't know I (02:43:50) wasn't there maybe they're super (02:43:51) sophisticated Liars maybe they're (02:43:52) telling me the same lie for some reason (02:43:54) maybe it's all part of a disinformation (02:43:56) campaign all the Geniuses on the (02:43:58) internet the really smart kids seem to (02:43:59) think it's oh you're falling for the (02:44:00) disinformation okay thanks son (02:44:04) um I know a lot about my disinformation (02:44:06) campaigns okay uh but it's like one of (02:44:10) my few areas of expertise um having (02:44:13) participated in many (02:44:14) unknowingly (02:44:16) uh so either (02:44:19) they're totally lying or they're telling (02:44:21) the truth but the other reason that I (02:44:23) think that is for the reason just stated (02:44:26) which is that their main goal when I (02:44:28) hear a bunch of lying I first I want to (02:44:31) recognize that it's lying it's untrue (02:44:33) like I know that's (02:44:34) untrue then I want to ask what's the (02:44:36) nature of a lie what exactly are they (02:44:38) trying to get me to believe or not (02:44:40) believe that's really important what is (02:44:43) it like what's so important to them (02:44:44) they're going to all this effort (02:44:45) spending all this money getting all (02:44:47) these journalists to repeat knowingly or (02:44:48) not repeat their lies like (02:44:51) why why are they doing that it takes (02:44:53) time to do that it's a big effort to lie (02:44:55) it's much harder to lie than tell the (02:44:56) truth so why (02:44:58) bother and then third question you have (02:45:00) to ask is like so like what is that what (02:45:03) does that (02:45:04) mean and I don't of course I don't know (02:45:06) the answers but it's very suggestive I (02:45:09) one thing I do know and and if you look (02:45:10) at it if you look at like the New York (02:45:13) Times or Popular Mechanics or any of the (02:45:16) I say Popular Mechanics I getting that (02:45:17) wrong I think it's Popular Mechanics but (02:45:18) there are a bunch of different (02:45:20) stories that have run over time debunk (02:45:22) debunking certain claims about uaps UFOs (02:45:27) and some of them are quite vement and (02:45:28) sophisticated and mean too people (02:45:31) believe in this stuff aren't just wrong (02:45:32) they're crazy they're conspiracy (02:45:35) theorists they're like pedophiles kind (02:45:36) of in a way I mean that's kind of the (02:45:38) like why would you attack someone for (02:45:40) that like yeah do you know what I mean (02:45:42) I'm I'm like why do you care like I'm (02:45:44) not a Buddhist I'm not mad at Buddhists (02:45:46) I'm I'm I'm totally in line with what (02:45:48) you're saying I mean we we (02:45:52) had but why are they doing that there so (02:45:54) many signs too you (02:45:57) like we talked this morning about my my (02:46:00) my experience about you know getting (02:46:03) slapped in the face by God basically (02:46:05) right and ever since then I'm I'm (02:46:10) I I take a minute I step back and I try (02:46:13) to find the symbolism and what I'm (02:46:15) seeing at the moment yes (02:46:18) and and I had told you I have a lot of (02:46:22) pretty much everybody on my team is (02:46:24) extremely well-versed in the Bible yeah (02:46:28) and uh and they bring me up to speed in (02:46:30) a hurry and but I mean even just those (02:46:33) are the wisest people I've discovered (02:46:35) yeah I didn't know that (02:46:38) but everywhere there's nowhere you can (02:46:42) look and go that makes sense anymore it (02:46:44) nothing makes any sense at all the the (02:46:48) the confusion of (02:46:50) genders it's everywhere I mean I I I was (02:46:54) in DC what was it last June when we had (02:46:58) when we had the (02:46:59) big Pride party on the White House lawn (02:47:02) and men were flashing their (02:47:05) titties I look at that as symbolism now (02:47:08) that's that is some type of evil force (02:47:12) that's in there (02:47:14) the this Easter this Easter was (02:47:18) transability day exactly on Easter with (02:47:22) with Easter bunnies and Easter eggs and (02:47:24) the White House letterhead declaring (02:47:27) that (02:47:28) day trans visibility day that's a symbol (02:47:32) the pope that's a pretty clear symbol (02:47:34) yeah yeah Theologian or anything but (02:47:38) when you replace Easter with day I think (02:47:41) maybe you're making a statement about (02:47:44) Transcendent matters it's not just about (02:47:46) politics (02:47:48) MH but the shit's everywhere it's (02:47:51) everywhere you look yeah (02:47:55) and and only the Bible readers are (02:47:57) prepared to understand it that's what (02:47:59) I've because everything is the opposite (02:48:00) of what you were told so you were told (02:48:02) that all the Bible readers were the most (02:48:04) superstitious and inflexible and stupid (02:48:07) and lacking wisdom and Common Sense and (02:48:09) they couldn't see reality and like (02:48:11) that's what I grew up I mean even though (02:48:12) we like went to church occasionally or (02:48:14) whatever of course we hated religious (02:48:16) people because all affluent Americans (02:48:19) hate religious people in the world that (02:48:20) I grew up in because they're like (02:48:22) superstitious and dumb and they're (02:48:23) embarrassing and they're like kind of (02:48:25) middle class or poor whites and they're (02:48:28) like I mean I'm so ashamed to say that (02:48:30) but I and I I was never against them (02:48:32) really but I just didn't I don't know (02:48:35) you just don't question what you were (02:48:36) taught really kind of you know mhm and (02:48:39) then it turns out that like those are (02:48:41) the only people who know what's going on (02:48:43) they're the best people I I've known (02:48:45) that for a while they are the best (02:48:46) religious people are the best people (02:48:47) like there's no it's not even close who (02:48:49) else who else helps other people just (02:48:51) for who else prays for their enemies (02:48:54) anyone anyone no just Christians that's (02:48:55) it so anyway I've known that for a while (02:48:57) that they were the best people and of (02:48:59) course I'm married to one so I knew that (02:49:01) but what I didn't (02:49:03) know was that they're the only W they're (02:49:05) the only wise people they're the only (02:49:07) ones who know what's up and that they're (02:49:09) just like way smarter than everybody I (02:49:11) didn't know that I had no idea and the (02:49:14) last couple years I've been like holy (02:49:15) [ __ ] they're the only people who know (02:49:18) what's going on and you had the greatest (02:49:20) line this morning I won't reveal (02:49:22) personal I talked about but you talking (02:49:23) about something like super crazy that (02:49:25) happened to you and you went to a (02:49:27) Christian who works for you who was just (02:49:29) like well yeah of course like that that (02:49:31) happens all the time and you said to (02:49:33) them people who really understand the (02:49:34) stuff it's like not a shocking event (02:49:36) it's I think you said it's like Tuesday (02:49:39) cuz they know that this is real Y and (02:49:42) that what a mind [ __ ] that has (02:49:46) been no it's so great though well you (02:49:49) know it with everything that's going on (02:49:52) and and as disgusted as I am in in the (02:49:55) country and and the citizens yeah and (02:50:01) the (02:50:02) government and I'm starting to get an (02:50:05) eye into that as the as the show grows (02:50:07) and I I see I see (02:50:11) how I see how disgusting yeah it (02:50:15) actually is in there and um and and they (02:50:18) are (02:50:19) it's just [ __ ] horrible and this show (02:50:21) is definitely I mean this show kind of (02:50:23) radicalized me a little bit which is not (02:50:27) easy radicalizing me but um uh so yeah (02:50:31) no you are definitely doing your part to (02:50:33) tell the truth which I thank you I love (02:50:35) that it gives me hope though in a weird (02:50:37) weird way now that I can kind of see (02:50:40) through this [ __ ] and real okay none of (02:50:42) this makes sense and it actually makes (02:50:44) sense that none of this makes sense (02:50:45) because it's all been written it's in (02:50:47) that D it's in the book know it's in the (02:50:50) book and it's playing out right now (02:50:55) and anyways it but the fact that (02:50:58) honestly it's the only thing that brings (02:50:59) me any hope because I don't think we're (02:51:01) getting out of the sh no of course not (02:51:03) but right but that's I mean that (02:51:04) shouldn't be surprising either I mean (02:51:06) again I just can't believe that in the (02:51:09) end when it really gets intense as it is (02:51:12) now that it's Christians it's people (02:51:14) actually believe the Bible are the only (02:51:17) ones with wisdom who understand what's (02:51:19) really going on they're not shocked at (02:51:20) all and they're not panicked either like (02:51:23) they get it it's so interesting who have (02:51:25) and that that itself is a Biblical (02:51:27) principle the last shall be first the (02:51:29) most you know the the humble among you (02:51:31) will be exalted it's like it's (02:51:33) everything's the opposite of what you (02:51:34) thought it was you know Victory is (02:51:37) defeat defeat Christianity is defeat (02:51:40) being tortured to death is actually (02:51:43) Victory it's like it's Inc it's just but (02:51:46) once you start even if you're not a (02:51:47) Christian which I think you should cuz (02:51:49) it's true but even if you're not you can (02:51:51) acknowledge just having lived here for a (02:51:53) while that that is absolutely the way (02:51:54) things (02:51:56) work it's interesting too you know and (02:51:59) and (02:52:02) I'm I really like the fact that you (02:52:04) don't do email social media any of that (02:52:06) [ __ ] and somebody else handles all that (02:52:08) stuff and you're only you're only T (02:52:10) correct I'm sorry you sound I sound so (02:52:14) entitled and like I don't deal with that (02:52:16) I'm so powerful I don't have a briefcase (02:52:19) what I think that's just that sounds (02:52:21) like you're just taking control of your (02:52:23) own mental health well I don't believe (02:52:24) I'm not a luxury guy I'm not just saying (02:52:26) this I'm I'm not especially rich but um (02:52:29) I'm not a luxury guy at all I mean ask (02:52:32) anybody who knows me or lives near me or (02:52:34) with me I'm not into that like I don't (02:52:37) care I drink my coffee black sleep in my (02:52:40) truck it's fine with me I'm not I'm (02:52:42) really committed not to being ins snared (02:52:44) by luxury but I do think a more profound (02:52:47) form of luxury is (02:52:49) reducing the noise a little bit in your (02:52:51) life if you can do that you know more (02:52:53) nature more quiet more one-on-one (02:52:56) conversations fewer distractions less (02:52:59) frenetic have to do this stuff more (02:53:01) thoughtfulness like I don't achieve it (02:53:04) that's for sure I'm constantly texting (02:53:06) people like I have a lot of chaos not (02:53:08) chaos but I have a lot of like stacked (02:53:10) up nonsense I have to do in my life but (02:53:13) everybody does but if you can reduce (02:53:15) that by 10% or 20% like that's worth (02:53:18) more than a private plane which I don't (02:53:20) have um but do you know what I mean I do (02:53:22) well I mean when I heard that it (02:53:24) inspired me so I'm I'm going to do the (02:53:28) exact same thing well you're already (02:53:29) doing it I mean you don't go to you (02:53:30) don't drive you know over the tribor (02:53:33) bridge into an office building to work (02:53:35) for somebody else like that that is the (02:53:37) ultimate luxury yeah if someone said (02:53:39) I'll pay you $50 million a year to (02:53:41) commute through Midtown Manhattan for 2 (02:53:44) hours to work for some company (02:53:47) controlled by its HR department (02:53:48) apartment or I'll pay you 150th of that (02:53:52) to work at home I don't think any wise (02:53:55) person would choose the 50 million cuz (02:53:58) it's not worth it it's not about money (02:54:01) yeah where I was kind of going with this (02:54:03) is is my perspective of reality may be a (02:54:06) little off um or maybe it's way off but (02:54:11) I'm not in I never watch the news (02:54:14) anymore I get I get my news from other (02:54:17) sources me too and right here and um but (02:54:21) so I'm a little removed from whatever (02:54:22) the latest agenda is that they're (02:54:24) pushing but it seems like to (02:54:28) me and I love this conversation by the (02:54:30) way but it seems like to me that we're (02:54:32) approaching the final Division I mean it (02:54:35) seems like it seems like the race [ __ ] (02:54:37) is kind of cooled off a little bit and (02:54:39) the and the and the gender stuff is (02:54:41) cooled off (02:54:43) and I mean all the things the defund the (02:54:46) police BLM antifa (02:54:49) the war the it's all seems to (02:54:54) be starting to die down a little bit and (02:54:57) what I'm seeing and maybe this is just (02:54:59) because I'm that interested in it is (02:55:01) you're seeing a massive wave of (02:55:06) Christianity coming and you're also (02:55:08) seeing a massive wave of Satanism and it (02:55:12) seems like we're approaching the final (02:55:15) division you're (02:55:17) seeing pedop files on the rise sex (02:55:21) trafficking human (02:55:24) trafficking I mean the US is the number (02:55:27) one consumer of kitty porn on the planet (02:55:30) and (02:55:31) and and you just see this good and evil (02:55:36) just yep going farther and further apart (02:55:39) and it's becoming at least from from my (02:55:42) point of view you know it's I couldn't (02:55:45) agree more I couldn't agree more (02:55:46) vehemently and I don't have too many you (02:55:50) know great insights into things or (02:55:54) prophetic feelings you know I'm very (02:55:56) conventional but the one thing that I (02:55:58) really felt strongly a couple of years (02:56:00) ago was really strongly I felt it (02:56:03) overwhelmingly like from outside me um (02:56:06) was that there's there's some form of (02:56:08) religious revival coming I felt that (02:56:10) really strongly and I'm like extremely (02:56:13) secular person obviously I say [ __ ] (02:56:15) every other word I'm sorry that I do (02:56:16) that I shouldn't I definitely grew up (02:56:19) that way um so like for me to have that (02:56:22) Insight but I wow I overwhelming and I (02:56:24) said it to a couple of friends of mine (02:56:26) who were very Sly like what but I felt (02:56:29) it and that has turned out I think to be (02:56:31) true and I have no idea where it's going (02:56:35) and I I get a lot of people coming to my (02:56:37) barn like every day literally every day (02:56:39) and leaving me big stacks and stuff on (02:56:41) the end (02:56:42) times and I think history ends I think (02:56:45) we all sort of sense history ends it's (02:56:48) but it's also really clear that we don't (02:56:50) know when it ends so I kind of resent (02:56:52) that a little bit because it's like what (02:56:53) are you God like you know the future we (02:56:54) don't know the future we can't know (02:56:56) we're not going to know the future okay (02:56:57) that's very clear and I believe it but (02:57:01) we are clearly moving towards something (02:57:03) big who doesn't feel that everybody (02:57:05) feels it and and it is the Divide is (02:57:09) spiritual and um I try to be mindful of (02:57:12) my own sort of sectarian limitations (02:57:15) like when you're one thing you think (02:57:16) everyone else should be that thing or (02:57:17) whatever and I really am a Christian or (02:57:20) attempting to be but I think it's enough (02:57:24) to (02:57:25) say the people who know they're not God (02:57:29) who show reverence before a power bigger (02:57:32) than themselves like those people are on (02:57:33) our side I that's how I personally feel (02:57:36) and I think you need to believe in Jesus (02:57:39) I think that okay but I am also willing (02:57:42) to believe that as a functional matter (02:57:44) that (02:57:46) people I had an experience this is like (02:57:48) I'm will offend a lot of people but it's (02:57:49) real I was flying in the Middle East (02:57:51) recently and I was on one of those (02:57:53) planes with a a the double-decker planes (02:57:56) 83 80s I think with a big plane and I go (02:57:59) back take a leak and it's like (02:58:01) everyone's asleep or whatever on the (02:58:02) plane and there's like that little barer (02:58:05) is like an open area and there's a guy (02:58:07) he looked to be South Asian looked (02:58:08) Pakistani to me but maybe (02:58:10) not I had to be 70 years old and he's (02:58:13) got his prayer mat out and he's praying (02:58:15) there's no one around and he's praying (02:58:16) in the middle of the flight everyone's (02:58:18) asleep (02:58:19) and I've never been particularly (02:58:21) pro-islam in fact I was very anti-islam (02:58:23) for a long time and I thought to myself (02:58:25) I'm not a Muslim I'm never going to be a (02:58:27) Muslim I disagree with Islam in a lot of (02:58:28) ways but a guy who's taking his time (02:58:31) taking time out in the middle of a (02:58:32) [ __ ] flight when everyone's asleep to (02:58:34) acknowledge that he's not God and bow (02:58:36) before his God I don't think that man's (02:58:38) my enemy on a deep level I just don't (02:58:40) I'm sorry call me like a a tool of (02:58:43) Muhammad or something I'm not I'm a (02:58:44) Christian but like how is that guy my (02:58:46) enemy he's a massive Improv over (02:58:49) everyone in DC who thinks they're God (02:58:51) like I do think that I'm sorry I do (02:58:54) there's something about the humility of (02:58:55) acknowledging I'm not in charge I can't (02:58:57) see the future I'm not I'm totally (02:59:00) imperfect that is the most important (02:59:02) thing and I that's how I kind of see the (02:59:04) spiritual divide that said Christianity (02:59:07) seems to be growing in power even as the (02:59:08) church is collapsing into absurdity (02:59:10) church leaders not all but a lot of them (02:59:12) are totally corrupt I don't know what's (02:59:14) going on with the Pope I'm not Catholic (02:59:16) so I'm not going to comment on that but (02:59:18) like who doesn't look like Christianity (02:59:20) to me it's another symbol on the other (02:59:22) hand the number of Catholics some of my (02:59:24) closest friends are cathol a lot of my (02:59:25) closest friends are Catholic they're the (02:59:27) most fervent sincere On Target (02:59:30) Christians I know I'm just just saying (02:59:32) that they are I I'm sorry maybe their (02:59:34) theology is wrong I don't know it's not (02:59:35) up for me to judge but they are serious (02:59:37) Christians and they mean it and their (02:59:39) life is bearing the fruit of those (02:59:41) beliefs in other words as the church (02:59:43) like the structure collapses some of the (02:59:46) members of the church seem even stronger (02:59:49) have you noticed this well I mean it it (02:59:51) goes back to what we were talking about (02:59:54) this morning the church is (02:59:56) not and I'm new at this oh me too oh (02:59:59) gosh the church is not a brick and (03:00:03) mortar structure no the church is the (03:00:05) living body of Believers in God in Jesus (03:00:10) Christ and that is it there is no Club (03:00:13) there is no I'm in this camp and you're (03:00:16) in that camp you're either in the church (03:00:19) or you're not I agree it's not a [ __ ] (03:00:21) brick and mortar I totally agree but you (03:00:24) see it all of a sudden you see it I mean (03:00:26) I made it like 50 years more than 50 (03:00:28) years in this country without really (03:00:30) talking I mean (03:00:32) it where I worked you know in the media (03:00:34) television you know people come in and (03:00:36) like talk about whatever some threesome (03:00:37) they had or they're doing meth over the (03:00:39) weekend I'm like people are pretty far (03:00:40) out you know in TV because it's like (03:00:42) it's all theater kids it's all people (03:00:43) who project and share too much so I just (03:00:46) worked in a world where people just (03:00:47) would like tell you their deepest (03:00:49) Secrets like at a drop of a hat I don't (03:00:52) think I ever one time heard someone (03:00:54) mention a spiritual dimension in his (03:00:56) life ever that was totally verboten like (03:00:59) that was the one thing you could not (03:01:00) talk about I've never heard anybody talk (03:01:02) about spirituality it was so (03:01:04) embarrassing like your freaky sex life (03:01:06) not embarrassing the idea you might pray (03:01:08) highly embarrassing wow and that's just (03:01:11) well that's just the world I've lived in (03:01:12) I mean I'm just I'm not I'm hardly (03:01:13) bragging about it I'm I'm ashamed of it (03:01:16) it's ridiculous actually but that is (03:01:18) just true true and for the record I was (03:01:20) not into meth or freaky sex [ __ ] you (03:01:21) know at all very conventional person but (03:01:24) I was around that a lot and all of a (03:01:26) sudden in the last few years just random (03:01:29) sort of normal secular American people (03:01:31) are like you know I was praying about (03:01:32) that or I think God's doing this or like (03:01:34) wait what we were not okay I have a good (03:01:36) memory that's like my one superpower we (03:01:38) were not having these conversations in (03:01:40) my world 5 years ago nobody yeah so what (03:01:44) is that there's something going on and (03:01:48) of course that's the way it work God (03:01:50) works you know evil is not (03:01:54) unchallenged clearly we're under the (03:01:57) oppression of evil not just the Biden (03:01:58) Administration which is just a (03:01:59) manifestation of it but there's (03:02:02) something way bigger trying to hurt (03:02:04) people for the sake of hurting people (03:02:06) with climate change or manufactured (03:02:08) famines which they clearly you know (03:02:10) clearly that's going on (03:02:12) and you know so farma stuff all just all (03:02:16) is evil right it's very obvious and (03:02:18) everyone watching this I think knows of (03:02:20) course everyone knows what I'm talking (03:02:21) about but that's not going to happen in (03:02:23) a vacuum that can't happen that's not (03:02:25) how it works that's not how the universe (03:02:26) works that's how God works so as that (03:02:29) stuff rises in power so does God who's (03:02:31) more powerful and I know how the story (03:02:33) ends he wins so like that's true I'm Not (03:02:36) Afraid um at all so but it's cool to see (03:02:41) it do you feel that way do you feel like (03:02:44) it I do God good is showing or God is (03:02:47) showing his face more I mean is that (03:02:49) absolutely I mean I just we talked to he (03:02:52) literally just grabbed me by the collar (03:02:53) and was (03:02:54) like and uh yeah and ever since he got (03:02:58) my (03:02:59) attention uh I'm all in and I it it (03:03:05) it's there's nothing that gives me hope (03:03:07) there's no presidential candidate (03:03:09) there's no politician there's nobody (03:03:11) there is no human that gives me hope (03:03:14) it's all part of the and and (03:03:20) and who knows maybe I'm wrong maybe I I (03:03:23) don't think I'm wrong but you know I I (03:03:26) look at all these things that we're (03:03:27) seeing with the with the with the gender (03:03:29) Wars with the race Wars with the (03:03:31) division with the right and left with (03:03:33) the with the Easter Sunday is now (03:03:35) transvisibility day the pope is saying (03:03:38) that gay marriage is great look I don't (03:03:40) I don't give a [ __ ] about gay marriage (03:03:42) but it I'm sorry but (03:03:44) it's the (03:03:46) pope is not the man to change the Bible (03:03:51) or the word of God and and or just take (03:03:55) three steps back what is that it's like (03:03:56) don't get lost in the weeds of the (03:03:58) details like yeah that's not that's (03:04:00) [ __ ] up you no you know you're you're (03:04:01) you're serving the other team I'm sorry (03:04:03) you are but I look what I'm getting at (03:04:05) is I look at all this stuff as symbology (03:04:07) and and it's it's it's symbolizing that (03:04:11) all the stuff that I had to miss (03:04:12) dismissed for years is very real it's (03:04:15) the it's the only thing that is real (03:04:17) actually yep it's it's so it gives me (03:04:21) when I see this stuff it still pisses me (03:04:23) off and enrages me and and the Easter (03:04:26) thing like really threw me oh yeah but (03:04:29) at least they're showing their face (03:04:31) going they murdered the president of the (03:04:33) United States and a lied about it (03:04:35) so right okay so like this has been (03:04:37) going on a long time long before we were (03:04:39) born in fact it's been going on for all (03:04:42) time and I will say this about the (03:04:45) Christians to their great credit they're (03:04:46) not shocked at all like what did you you (03:04:48) think you thought some politician was (03:04:50) going to save you you're worshiping (03:04:51) people now you don't worship people (03:04:53) they're people no one's going to save (03:04:55) you in this life that's a lie and by the (03:04:57) way shame on you for believing it you (03:04:59) fool yeah like that's that's how they (03:05:01) feel about (03:05:02) it and and the like the rest of us the (03:05:06) dumb people like me are like I can't (03:05:07) believe it's not (03:05:09) real like they've been lying to me I (03:05:12) can't believe it all the stories you (03:05:14) told me are there's no Santa seriously (03:05:16) and the Christians just like (03:05:18) what of course it's fake like are you (03:05:21) kidding we don't fight against you know (03:05:25) it's not against men like this is it's (03:05:28) this it's the same thing that's been (03:05:29) going on again for all time that every (03:05:32) other civilization has believed in as (03:05:34) its core belief except us and we're like (03:05:37) shocked I can't believe it that our (03:05:39) stupid post-war materialist theology (03:05:42) turned out to be fake who could have (03:05:45) guessed (03:05:48) yeah yeah but but that's what gives me (03:05:51) hope you know totally seeing all the (03:05:53) symbology totally and also you're kind (03:05:56) of commanded or you are commanded to be (03:05:59) hopeful and cheerful and (03:06:02) joyful and if you're not then that's (03:06:04) kind of on you then you know what I mean (03:06:06) then you obviously don't believe (03:06:08) it I mean I I never I mean I stopped (03:06:11) going to church during covid for that (03:06:13) exact reason when the Priestess at our (03:06:16) church was like which is itself like (03:06:18) nuts but whatever um the denomination I (03:06:21) grimit was nuts I didn't quite realize (03:06:23) how nuts until Co and then the recor of (03:06:26) the church is like well we can't have (03:06:27) Services because I'm afraid of getting (03:06:28) Co and dying and it's like you're afraid (03:06:31) of dying (03:06:32) really you're afraid there a whole (03:06:34) religion was not to be afraid of dying (03:06:35) like the whole point of our religion is (03:06:37) that we don't need to be afraid of dying (03:06:39) like what's the other point I don't know (03:06:40) do we have another point I think that is (03:06:42) the point and so if you're afraid of (03:06:44) dying but I remember being so shocked by (03:06:46) that and I went home and said to my wife (03:06:48) I was like we're not going to church (03:06:49) again this chick says she's afraid of (03:06:51) dying I was like what and we were both (03:06:54) like almost in cuz we really did grow up (03:06:56) in this church and I was like we were (03:06:58) both so shocked and then looking back (03:07:00) four years later I'm like I can't (03:07:02) believe we were shocked like how dumb (03:07:04) were we how naive were (03:07:07) we yeah of course people are deceptive (03:07:10) and (03:07:11) they but lies are always exposed like in (03:07:15) the end and you don't they're not going (03:07:17) to win (03:07:18) they may have some temporary you know (03:07:20) ground gaining offensives but they're (03:07:24) not going to win yeah are they no (03:07:27) they're not can I say one last thing (03:07:29) since I know a lot of these people who (03:07:30) the people I'm always railing against (03:07:32) and I hate them and all stuff but like (03:07:34) they're totally suffering (03:07:36) now they're (03:07:38) miserable like if (03:07:40) you I think if you looked inside Tony (03:07:43) blink and soul you would not find (03:07:44) anything interesting or profound at (03:07:46) all at all it's as like Bal as you (03:07:49) imagine it it is this is my guess but I (03:07:52) think you would find a lot of turmoil (03:07:55) and unhappiness and (03:07:56) insecurity barely sublimated (03:07:59) rage unhappiness chaos yeah you know and (03:08:03) I think that is true of all these people (03:08:05) you think Joe Biden is happy or his (03:08:07) creepy fake Dr wife or any of these (03:08:09) people Gavin Newsome you really think (03:08:11) he's like got a joyful life like these (03:08:13) people are living in hell now actually (03:08:16) and so I do think that should be a (03:08:17) marker if you're looking at who to (03:08:20) believe who to put your confidence in (03:08:22) not your faith put your faith in no man (03:08:25) but your (03:08:26) confidence I think the first thing you (03:08:28) have to assess is is this person happy (03:08:30) is joyful because if he's not he's (03:08:34) clearly on the wrong path he's following (03:08:36) a lie knowingly or not like I think it's (03:08:39) a fairway to assess yeah yeah that's a (03:08:42) damn good point so so if you wake up in (03:08:44) a society run by unhappy women and the (03:08:47) weak Men Who make them (03:08:49) unhappy these are not people worth (03:08:51) following that's a damn good point we're (03:08:55) producing unhappy women that's the only (03:08:56) thing that we produce now our steel (03:08:59) industry has died we don't produce good (03:09:01) cars but we do produce a lot of unhappy (03:09:02) women a ton like a surf it actually (03:09:04) can't even export them at this (03:09:08) point (03:09:10) sorry it's true if you looked at (03:09:13) export you can't export them yeah it's (03:09:15) like no one wants to no one wants them (03:09:19) well well Tucker I think uh I need to (03:09:22) get a flight to catch her soon and and (03:09:24) uh Sor I should probably stop talking I (03:09:27) don't have a boss now though so I think (03:09:30) it's great you know it's (03:09:32) um that's what gives me hope it sounds (03:09:34) like that's what gives you hope and I (03:09:35) wanted to oh I have tons of (03:09:38) hope I have tons of (03:09:40) Hope is there anything else that gives (03:09:42) you hope or is it just (03:09:45) spirituality which alone is great life I (03:09:48) mean yeah there's so much I mean I (03:09:51) didn't lose any children during the (03:09:53) turmoil and a lot of people I know I (03:09:55) don't mean lose like died though a lot (03:09:57) of children have died actually a lot uh (03:10:00) have killed themselves with drugs or or (03:10:02) through suicide but um the faster you (03:10:05) know form of suicide uh but I didn't Lo (03:10:09) a lot of people I know a lot like part (03:10:11) of the purpose of one of the Hallmarks (03:10:14) of evil maybe the Hallmark of evil is (03:10:16) division pulling people apart destroying (03:10:18) relationships killing (03:10:20) love and um a lot of really good people (03:10:23) including people I love have lost (03:10:25) children to this the child disowned the (03:10:28) parents damn and the surface level (03:10:31) explanation is that you know it's (03:10:32) different politics and people different (03:10:33) politics can't be friends or including (03:10:35) parents and children with different (03:10:36) politics but it's way deeper than that (03:10:38) it's not about politics of course (03:10:41) spiritual you there was no moment in my (03:10:44) life up until recently where like (03:10:45) politics would prevent a friendship or a (03:10:47) relationship that just wasn't a thing (03:10:50) was not a thing like you vote Democrat I (03:10:52) vote Republican we hate each other like (03:10:53) when when did that happen so it's not (03:10:55) political it's spiritual and a lot of (03:10:57) people have had their families destroyed (03:10:59) including a lot of people I know really (03:11:01) good people too good parents all of a (03:11:03) sudden they had a child who was like (03:11:05) [ __ ] you I'm never talking to you again (03:11:07) racist or whatever you know what I mean (03:11:09) DN yeah and there's I mean I'd rather (03:11:12) die than have that like that's the worst (03:11:13) thing I can imagine is losing a child (03:11:16) losing contact with a child having a (03:11:17) child disown the family and we have not (03:11:19) had that at all we've had just the (03:11:21) opposite our F not bragging I am (03:11:23) bragging you say what gives me hope that (03:11:25) gives me hope my children are their (03:11:28) people are not perfect but our family is (03:11:30) closer than it's ever been and I mean I (03:11:32) don't care you can fire me from a (03:11:35) million jobs you can take all my money (03:11:38) and if I have that I mean that's enough (03:11:40) for me and I'm not just saying that I (03:11:42) really mean it from the bottom of my (03:11:43) heart and so it's hard to be too upset (03:11:46) the thing that the last thing I'll say (03:11:47) is that that I think one of the great (03:11:49) Temptations and deceptions that we face (03:11:51) is living at 40,000 ft all the time (03:11:54) especially in this business that you and (03:11:56) I are now both in because you're (03:11:58) constantly thinking about what's going (03:11:59) on you're following things like oh my (03:12:00) gosh all the things that I loved are (03:12:02) degrading the institutions will that you (03:12:04) specifically served with everything um (03:12:08) you know you can't have confidence in (03:12:10) them they're falling apart they have (03:12:11) been distorted or perverted and they're (03:12:13) serving some bad purpose it's like (03:12:15) overwhelming it's so upsetting it's like (03:12:17) it can make you despondent and make you (03:12:19) feel powerless and helpless which is I (03:12:21) think part of the purpose of it is to (03:12:23) make you feel like holy [ __ ] I give (03:12:25) up but that's only one perspective (03:12:28) that's the macro perspective you look at (03:12:29) America America this this country that (03:12:32) we're from and they we're going to die (03:12:34) in it's not it's not doing well at all (03:12:37) like at all however the other way to (03:12:39) look at it is the people that I love I (03:12:42) love more than I ever have I'm closer to (03:12:45) than I ever have been the family that (03:12:47) I'm respons responsible for is thriving (03:12:48) not even materially but in (03:12:51) love and like that's (03:12:56) incredible I and I love this country I (03:12:59) really mean it I really love America and (03:13:01) I always have but I would trade a (03:13:02) thousand countries for the people that I (03:13:04) love because in the end America to me is (03:13:06) the people that I love not just my blood (03:13:09) relatives but the people in my Orbit and (03:13:12) they are all thriving again they may (03:13:15) know have cancer Al or alcohol you know (03:13:17) people have problems okay big big (03:13:19) problems but in their honesty with each (03:13:22) other in their commitment to each other (03:13:23) loyalty to each other their love (03:13:24) expressed love for one another their (03:13:26) kindness their understanding their (03:13:28) tolerance for each other it's all (03:13:31) increased and like that that's part of (03:13:34) the story too that may be a bigger story (03:13:36) actually than the Federal Reserve or the (03:13:39) [ __ ] war in Ukraine you know what I (03:13:41) mean yeah I (03:13:43) do man thank you for sharing that and (03:13:46) and uh we're out of time or you're going (03:13:48) to miss your flight and and am I really (03:13:50) yeah no you're not I can talk good (03:13:52) freaking animal but (03:13:54) um but I just I just want to say thank (03:13:57) you for well I loved it and thank you (03:13:59) for what you're doing I'm not can I just (03:14:01) brag end on one bragging note sure I saw (03:14:04) the video somebody sent me one of your (03:14:05) videos never heard of you I had no idea (03:14:07) I don't watch podcasts or I didn't then (03:14:10) and I saw this and it was an interview (03:14:12) as I told you this morning with this (03:14:13) contractor son of a contractor who had (03:14:16) seen some stuff at a at a military base (03:14:18) whatever it was super interesting but (03:14:20) your interview style I was like that guy (03:14:22) is honest that's totally real right (03:14:24) there and I'm good at that I can tell (03:14:25) and I was like that guy's going to be (03:14:26) successful I just knew I knew nothing (03:14:28) about you I just saw that and I was like (03:14:30) that guy's going to succeed and you have (03:14:32) thank you and I called that thank (03:14:34) you that means I know that's ugly to (03:14:37) brag about it but I can't help it I knew (03:14:39) that I appreciate that thank you and uh (03:14:42) and uh I forgot I have one other gift to (03:14:44) give you everybody gets one thank you I (03:14:47) wear it with pride or without pants let (03:14:49) me little something for the ride home (03:14:52) glasses there you (03:14:54) go I can't take these you know why why (03:14:57) not I think you know why oh no those are (03:14:59) legal no cuz I I'll eat (03:15:03) them I turned 55 I can't e [ __ ] gummy (03:15:07) bears are you joking like how old are (03:15:09) you give them to the (03:15:11) driver thank you you're welcome that was (03:15:13) awesome but uh no thank you for coming (03:15:16) and man I hope to see you again Tucker (03:15:18) totally I wish you the best come text me (03:15:20) when you're in my neighborhood I will (03:15:21) awesome thanks man I appreciate (03:15:26) [Music] (03:15:34) it no matter where you're watching Shan (03:15:37) Ryan Show from if you get anything out (03:15:39) of this please like comment subscribe (03:15:42) and most importantly share this (03:15:44) everywhere you possibly can and if (03:15:47) you're feeling extra generous please (03:15:50) leave us review on Apple and Spotify (03:15:53) podcasts