Trust What Your Body is Telling You with Aviva Romm (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:07) a lot of vulnerability in (00:00:08) entrepreneurialship oh my God I I truly (00:00:13) do not feel that it is a bigger topic of (00:00:18) conversation especially amongst women (00:00:21) yeah well there's perfectionism yes (00:00:23) spending (00:00:24) money offering things and wondering (00:00:27) people are going to want them like time (00:00:29) management it's there's a lot and just (00:00:32) the real struggle behind it because I (00:00:34) think it's so (00:00:36) glamorized right right like it (00:00:39) looks no I've I've literally been doing (00:00:42) all of it and people are like oh you're (00:00:44) like so relaxed I'm like are you kidding (00:00:47) yeah this is (00:00:49) nuts I mean it's interesting to hear you (00:00:51) say because you are someone I've truly (00:00:55) admired and just thank you for real and (00:00:59) I i' remember the moment vividly when I (00:01:02) first heard you speak and it was very (00:01:06) empowering and I I've left (00:01:08) feeling empowered in myself as a woman (00:01:12) thank you for that and I really mean (00:01:13) that thank you it's really it's really (00:01:16) nice to hear you know I think um I'm in (00:01:19) menopause and going through this also (00:01:21) inflection point in my life I saw (00:01:23) something on the internet today that (00:01:24) said it's not like you're lost it's just (00:01:27) your old self isn't the same and your (00:01:29) new self hasn't full arrived and I was (00:01:31) like oh we go through these inflection (00:01:32) points right whether it's into puberty (00:01:35) into motherhood into menopause going (00:01:38) through inflections as entrepreneurs and (00:01:40) sometimes it's just helpful to have (00:01:42) those Reflections back like oh right I (00:01:45) do have this sometimes that's so (00:01:47) endearing to hear from you because I (00:01:50) think you you look at someone like (00:01:52) yourself who's just so accomplished and (00:01:55) grounded and confident in yourself andk (00:01:59) you has have done such impactful work (00:02:04) especially when it comes to just Women's (00:02:07) Health and us like winning Back Our Own (00:02:12) Strength thank you you know what it is I (00:02:15) think it's there's a maybe it stops I (00:02:19) think for me it's getting quieter but (00:02:21) that sense of perfectionism that can (00:02:24) drive that feeling of like never doing (00:02:26) enough not quite accomplished enough (00:02:29) seeing some of the magnitude of issues (00:02:31) in the world and feeling like there is (00:02:33) more to do so just remembering (00:02:37) to have gratitude you know it's so funny (00:02:40) I signed a book contract two days ago (00:02:43) and it was a huge book contract and that (00:02:46) morning um we had had all this set up (00:02:49) with a landscaper to get started it's (00:02:51) like champagne problems but the (00:02:52) landscaper at the last minute we had (00:02:55) like we have seven cubic yards which is (00:02:58) a huge a dumb truckload of so soil in (00:03:00) our driveway cuz this landscaper was (00:03:02) supposed to start literally ran into my (00:03:04) husband at a cafe said oh by the way I'm (00:03:06) not starting today and it led to kind of (00:03:08) a series of things that weren't coming (00:03:12) together and I was like what is wrong (00:03:15) why are these things happening like what (00:03:17) did I did I do something wrong and it's (00:03:19) like no of course not and I realized how (00:03:22) easy it was to focus on the things that (00:03:24) were going wrong with this silly problem (00:03:26) of landscaping and not actually have (00:03:29) stopped to celebrate that I signed a (00:03:31) book contract and was like you know like (00:03:32) you can look at the one review in the (00:03:35) Thousand good ones I think as women were (00:03:38) just we go toward that doubt part right (00:03:41) because we want to please people yeah (00:03:44) and it hurts when you have someone say (00:03:48) negative things about you I think when (00:03:50) you're also so passionate yes about what (00:03:53) you do and you want to help and (00:03:55) someone's like yeah and people have very (00:03:58) strong opinions that it (00:04:01) I mean even for myself I always try to (00:04:03) avoid consuming that stuff (00:04:06) because for the most part I feel like (00:04:08) I've grown really thick skin where I (00:04:10) don't let it in but every now and then (00:04:13) yeah there's that one thing I don't look (00:04:16) but sometimes something will seep (00:04:18) through somehow like oh my f like a (00:04:22) friend will say you know will tell me (00:04:24) and (00:04:26) I have let myself feel the feelings (00:04:30) inste of just I think it almost makes (00:04:33) you be like oh well I'll show you and (00:04:35) I'm no because it doesn't matter what I (00:04:38) do this isn't for you right exactly (00:04:41) that's what I've come to realize is like (00:04:42) if it's not for you I'm building the (00:04:45) community the community and audience and (00:04:47) not want say audience like the community (00:04:49) that is organic for me yeah but I also (00:04:52) try to listen too and say like okay is (00:04:54) there some nugget in there that I can (00:04:57) learn from but usually it's like yeah (00:05:01) right it's because it's all about (00:05:03) delivery because we only I think we're (00:05:06) only able to receive things on a level (00:05:09) of the way it's delivered and a lot of (00:05:12) the time when it's in a negative context (00:05:14) it's from a place of hate yes and it (00:05:16) jars your system yes it's all part of (00:05:19) being an entrepreneur too right it's (00:05:20) like we have to be in the social media (00:05:23) world to do the work that we do and so (00:05:25) we're inevitably opening ourselves up to (00:05:29) kindnesses and sometimes not kindnesses (00:05:32) yes yeah well it's been fun to watch you (00:05:34) thriving and growing and just the (00:05:37) Transformations that have happened over (00:05:39) the past few years have been really (00:05:40) remarkable so congratulations thank you (00:05:44) so much I really appreciate that it's (00:05:48) you know as you know I think (00:05:51) the the amount of like real grit and (00:05:55) stamina (00:05:57) and I think just like this internal (00:06:00) drive it takes to not just start (00:06:03) something but to keep it (00:06:06) going I was watching a video the other (00:06:09) day and it was just these clips of (00:06:12) athletes like Olympic athletes NBA (00:06:16) players and you know those moments like (00:06:17) where you're watching it like you watch (00:06:19) the Olympic Runners and you can see them (00:06:20) in their hands on their hips and they're (00:06:22) just like walking around and it was (00:06:24) either clips of somebody like actually (00:06:26) catching what they were muttering or (00:06:28) asking them after what they were (00:06:30) thinking as they were about to do this (00:06:33) thing of a lifetime that they've been (00:06:34) preparing for and the inner pep talks (00:06:37) were so powerful I was like oh right (00:06:41) embracing the mind of an athlete is (00:06:46) really powerful and those moments where (00:06:48) we think we can't go on and knowing when (00:06:50) you need the break just like you know (00:06:52) physical activity knowing when you (00:06:53) actually do need the break or knowing (00:06:55) when it's like okay this is hard and I (00:06:58) can do hard things you really can't it (00:07:01) does take grit though it's much more (00:07:03) than people have any I heard an (00:07:05) entrepreneur Works 80 hours for (00:07:07) themselves to not work 40 hours for (00:07:09) someone else that is a fact 80 is like (00:07:11) an understatement it's just it doesn't (00:07:14) really sleep I mean i' I feel like you (00:07:16) learn how (00:07:19) to take time away from it but even like (00:07:23) even myself recently I've gotten to this (00:07:26) place where I'm like wow even things (00:07:30) that I do in my free time is for my (00:07:33) business and I'm like no I need to do (00:07:36) things so like last weekend I went out (00:07:37) rollerblading because I'm like this is (00:07:39) this is just for me I'm not I'm taking (00:07:42) two days off my birthday is Day After (00:07:44) Tomorrow happy birthday and I am taking (00:07:46) two days off I just onboarded two new (00:07:48) teammates so it's been like a flurry and (00:07:50) I'm like okay you guys here's what I've (00:07:53) learned the world does not end if I take (00:07:55) time off everything just keeps going (00:07:58) right there's that part of like our own (00:08:00) egos too like realizing we are important (00:08:03) and also we're not so important that we (00:08:06) can't take care of ourselves or we're (00:08:07) not living Our Truth so I'm two full (00:08:10) days off getting massage going hiking (00:08:14) doing a little Spa time really excited (00:08:16) it's so nice and you have so much to (00:08:18) celebrate I'm so excited it's just like (00:08:21) giving that space for things to land is (00:08:25) so important because it's so easy just (00:08:26) to work on the next thing and the next (00:08:27) thing and you just signed a deal so you (00:08:30) know I'm contemplating two things (00:08:31) recently one is I work with my partner (00:08:35) my husband and I have worked together (00:08:36) for a long time my kids are grown so (00:08:37) they're not in the house but I see you (00:08:38) integrating your husband and family into (00:08:41) your work but because we work together (00:08:44) there's a tendency for us to wake up in (00:08:46) the morning and we're like talking about (00:08:48) work before the day even starts and I (00:08:50) said we've been talking about how like (00:08:52) oh let's do our planning in the morning (00:08:54) I know what you need to do you know what (00:08:55) I like or we're each kind of coordinated (00:08:58) and about a week ago I said what if we (00:09:00) just woke up in the morning and said (00:09:02) what do we need to do to live our best (00:09:03) life today and then figure out how the (00:09:05) work fits into it and I feel like that's (00:09:08) applicable whether we're working out of (00:09:10) the home or for other people you just (00:09:12) like what is it that is going to make (00:09:15) this not just about my work efficiency (00:09:16) but about my best life the other weird (00:09:19) thing I've been contemplating lately and (00:09:21) I don't even know where we're going with (00:09:22) this interview May off top it's (00:09:23) beautiful is um I'm assuming we're (00:09:25) filming yes we (00:09:28) we're um is this concept of being (00:09:31) ordinary and the cultural pressure for (00:09:36) excellence in the form of achievement (00:09:39) right like there's we're still living in (00:09:41) a patriarchal world where we've (00:09:43) internalized certain standards of (00:09:45) achievement right position in our work (00:09:48) money etc etc and also as women I mean (00:09:52) we want those things too right like (00:09:54) there's a lot of value to building (00:09:55) generational wealth and bringing what we (00:09:57) want to the world but I've also (00:10:00) contemplating like what if all the (00:10:02) things that we did came out of a place (00:10:05) just fully of the love and the passion (00:10:08) for it because especially in the online (00:10:10) world there's this numbers game always (00:10:13) happening subtly there's likes I mean (00:10:15) they're like these (00:10:17) words friends on in on Facebook it's (00:10:20) like these weird words and what if (00:10:22) excellence and numbers weren't the goal (00:10:24) but just sort of like ordinary Bliss H (00:10:28) was the goal and it doesn't doesn't mean (00:10:30) those things can't still happen so I've (00:10:32) really been thinking about that lately (00:10:33) like what does it mean when I go on (00:10:36) Instagram to do a post is it about (00:10:38) getting followers is it about getting (00:10:39) engagement is it about getting anything (00:10:42) or is it about connecting and communing (00:10:44) with my audience and having a (00:10:46) conversation what is it when you're (00:10:48) publishing a book is it about like what (00:10:51) rank you are somewhere or is and and it (00:10:53) can be anything it doesn't have to be (00:10:55) these kinds of things it can be as (00:10:56) mothers like what are our goals to be (00:10:58) the best mother (00:11:00) like so much pressure dri like that (00:11:03) drives this bestness this excellence and (00:11:06) like what if just ordinary was okay what (00:11:08) if small was okay like oh kind of (00:11:11) creates a sense of calm for me on the (00:11:13) inside you feel like you can breathe (00:11:16) well because seeing everyone's life and (00:11:18) what everyone's doing and (00:11:20) achieving and wearing and just every eat (00:11:24) it every single thing it makes you (00:11:27) naturally (00:11:30) go to a place of lack if you're not (00:11:31) doing those things or have those things (00:11:33) and I think (00:11:35) it's it's like bringing it back to the (00:11:38) simplistic things that bring you back to (00:11:42) that like inner state of Joy within (00:11:45) yourself and service right connection (00:11:48) all the things that are so important to (00:11:49) us yeah I mean you are just the queen of (00:11:54) service and you wear so many hats I do (00:11:57) wear a lot of hats like it's just like (00:11:59) I'm sure you do too we both do do but I (00:12:02) mean you're a midwife you're a doctor (00:12:06) it's so endless an author you have (00:12:10) you're a podcast host you have all of (00:12:12) these programs you've written so many (00:12:14) books your latest hormone intelligence (00:12:17) in New York in instant New York Times (00:12:20) bestselling book (00:12:22) like where do you like I think with all (00:12:27) of these passions (00:12:30) hone in on your energy to give to all (00:12:35) elements of everything that you (00:12:37) do well I would say that honestly in the (00:12:44) world at the moment the way it is with (00:12:46) the demands of social media which I feel (00:12:48) like is a beast that you either have to (00:12:50) keep feeding or be comfortable in your (00:12:53) sort of growth level um there's so many (00:12:57) things I guess what I'm saying is (00:12:58) there's so many things to manage right (00:12:59) now now with all the moving parts of the (00:13:01) way business is as entrepreneurs that (00:13:04) it's the first time I actually am (00:13:05) hitting an inflection point where like (00:13:07) it's bigger than I can do alone because (00:13:09) I do I write every word of all of my (00:13:11) copy across everything platform website (00:13:14) all of it books everything that I'm (00:13:16) actually learning to seek help and find (00:13:18) the help that I need and invest in the (00:13:20) help that's really going to add value I (00:13:23) would say though the energy to give is (00:13:26) really from the giving itself every time (00:13:29) I might hear another story from another (00:13:31) woman who struggled with seven years to (00:13:35) get an endometriosis diagnosis (00:13:37) or had you know three miscarriages with (00:13:40) no support nobody giving her information (00:13:42) or is in menopause and is being told oh (00:13:45) it's just because you're stressed that (00:13:47) you're having all these whatever it is (00:13:50) um to even more like sometimes (00:13:51) life-threatening things that were missed (00:13:53) that is what gives me energy it's like (00:13:55) this fire to really respond to that and (00:13:58) find the different way that I can (00:14:00) respond right whether it's video or a (00:14:02) book or audio in a podcast for different (00:14:06) people who learn different you know in (00:14:08) different ways and then I'm really good (00:14:10) at hitting Paws you know my when my kids (00:14:12) were my youngest is 30 now believe it or (00:14:14) not so when my kids were little in some (00:14:17) ways there was a more natural EB and (00:14:19) flow because I had to stop and be with (00:14:21) my kids and play with my kids and I (00:14:22) homeschooled my kids so it was like my (00:14:24) work happened at different hours um but (00:14:29) now that the kids are grown it's (00:14:30) actually easy to just kind of feel like (00:14:32) you can work all the time it can bleed (00:14:34) into everything so I'm really good at (00:14:37) hitting Paws really good at getting good (00:14:40) sleep setting boundaries around my time (00:14:42) knowing when I'm hitting that point you (00:14:45) know it's like before we cross over the (00:14:47) Rubicon of like that's when my patients (00:14:49) call me and have the autoimmune (00:14:51) condition because they burning in the (00:14:51) candle at the you know both ends for so (00:14:53) long and seeing those stories also it's (00:14:56) like okay I need to hit pause long (00:14:58) before I'm feeling the burn like that (00:15:00) and that's helpful and it is you know as (00:15:02) you were saying some of the simple (00:15:03) things and the basics it really is (00:15:05) keeping my blood sugar balanced that's (00:15:07) been a commitment of M for decades again (00:15:09) getting the sleep I can really spending (00:15:11) time in nature movement connecting with (00:15:14) other women is huge I have men friends (00:15:16) too but really connecting with other (00:15:18) women is really important to me and (00:15:20) those kind of all help set the (00:15:23) pace the blood sugar conversation around (00:15:27) Women's Health and hormone (00:15:30) Health it's been something that has like (00:15:34) it quickly helps regulate yeah (00:15:37) everything yeah can you share and really (00:15:40) dive in more (00:15:43) about hormones I feel like it's this (00:15:47) topic that we're hearing so much about (00:15:50) and but it's just it feels gray for me (00:15:54) and you posted something and it was just (00:15:57) the other day and you (00:16:01) said it was about 9-year-old girls yeah (00:16:04) getting their (00:16:06) period yes my friend's daughter just (00:16:09) like I'm just like yeah like why is that (00:16:13) happening why is that alarming what are (00:16:17) the signals that we need to really look (00:16:19) out for because I I know for myself (00:16:22) turning 40 for me wow do things change (00:16:26) and I feel like people tell you that but (00:16:29) I've had to really understand more about (00:16:33) why I was feeling this way and really (00:16:37) shift things in my life to feel more (00:16:39) regulated across the board yeah what (00:16:41) were some of the things you felt like (00:16:43) the blood (00:16:44) sugar um avoiding caffeine on an empty (00:16:49) stomach understanding so much more about (00:16:51) my (00:16:52) cycle um the phases of the cycle (00:16:57) and I take certain supplementation I am (00:17:02) adding more seeds to my smoothie (00:17:04) different things to my (00:17:06) diet and I definitely feel I feel more (00:17:12) more regulated more Balan but to me it's (00:17:15) this (00:17:16) constant just like curiosity for like (00:17:19) what else like it's just it's empowering (00:17:21) right to know that to put the power back (00:17:23) in our hands and not feel like we have (00:17:25) to jump (00:17:28) to and I want you to talk on this too (00:17:30) about like you know resorting to (00:17:33) medication I'm I'd love your viewpoint (00:17:36) on it right because I think we're we're (00:17:38) fed one one way and there's so many (00:17:43) alternative approaches well this is how (00:17:45) I love all these questions a great (00:17:47) conversation okay so do you remember or (00:17:49) did you ever play that game telephone (00:17:51) when you were a kid right so you sit in (00:17:52) a circle and the first person says (00:17:55) something right for like people who (00:17:56) don't know this game the first person wh (00:17:59) Whispers something to the next person (00:18:00) and the next person and the next person (00:18:02) until it gets all the way back around to (00:18:05) the last person before the person who (00:18:06) started talking and by the end what (00:18:09) happens it's a mess yeah like it doesn't (00:18:11) sound anything like what it started out (00:18:13) as and so the message is garbled it's (00:18:16) not the same communication so hormones (00:18:19) literally from a medical scientific (00:18:22) perspective Medical School 101 what (00:18:25) you're taught is hormones or chemical (00:18:27) Messengers that's what they are and I (00:18:29) feel like in our world that we live in (00:18:33) and why we're seeing so many women with (00:18:36) so many hormone related problems and (00:18:38) keep in mind thyroid is hormone insulin (00:18:41) is hormone grin and leptin which (00:18:43) regulate fullness and appetite are (00:18:45) hormones cortisols are horm like all the (00:18:48) things we hear about online right of (00:18:50) these different things affecting women's (00:18:51) health so it's not just estrogen and (00:18:53) progesterone and testosterone which (00:18:55) women have and it's important for our (00:18:56) drive and energy but it's all these (00:18:58) hormones (00:19:00) and there's so many factors in our (00:19:02) environment so the big ones that I focus (00:19:04) on are endocrine disruptors like the (00:19:07) 880,000 (00:19:09) chemicals individual chemicals that have (00:19:11) been released into our environment and (00:19:14) that doesn't even include what they're (00:19:15) doing when they bind and bond to each (00:19:17) other and interact and then enter our (00:19:20) bodies and hormones when we think about (00:19:23) like estrogen or progesterone these (00:19:26) things are measured in like parts per (00:19:27) million and when you think about an endo (00:19:30) endocrine disruptor let's talk about (00:19:31) like pasas these forever chemicals that (00:19:33) are in everything Plastics like (00:19:36) everything one drop in an Olympic (00:19:40) swimming pool imagine like one drop of (00:19:42) blue dye in an Olympic swimming pool (00:19:44) like you wouldn't see it you wouldn't (00:19:46) know it but it's there and that's how (00:19:48) endocrine disruptors are they're like (00:19:50) one drop in parts per million but they (00:19:52) still bind and change how our hormones (00:19:56) are working so they change how our (00:19:58) thyroid hormone works or thyroid Works (00:20:00) they change how estrogen progesterone (00:20:02) testosterone thyroid huge endocrine (00:20:05) disruptor exposure and so I'd say like (00:20:07) that's one of the things that is (00:20:09) interfering with the messages so we play (00:20:12) telephone and we start out with this (00:20:13) pure message right then there there's (00:20:16) the endocrine disruptor that's in the (00:20:17) way it's disrupting literally by binding (00:20:19) and changing the messages or interfering (00:20:21) with them in some way then you go on (00:20:24) here's another one gut health so by the (00:20:27) time the average woman in the United (00:20:29) States is 18 years old she's had 20 (00:20:33) rounds of antibiotics not 20 doses 20 (00:20:38) rounds so three days five days seven (00:20:40) days then in our 20s we get as many as (00:20:42) 10 more rounds for things like urinary (00:20:44) trative infections that we get in our (00:20:46) 20s so you add that gut health (00:20:49) disruption microbiome disruption we have (00:20:51) an entire department if you will of (00:20:55) microbiome in our gut called the (00:20:56) estrobolome its entire job (00:20:59) is to process bind and eliminate (00:21:01) estrogen or help us reabsorb estrogen so (00:21:04) when our gut disruption is off it's not (00:21:06) just our estrogen that's off but that (00:21:07) can go really off but it communicates (00:21:10) with our liver it communicates with our (00:21:11) thyroid so's a lot of disruption we even (00:21:14) have microbiome in our breast that our (00:21:17) gut microbiome actually communicates (00:21:18) with and maybe one of the underpinnings (00:21:20) of certain types of breast cancer like (00:21:22) it's nuts when know that yeah the (00:21:24) interconnection is so powerful so we've (00:21:26) got endocrine disruption we've got gut (00:21:29) disruption we've got diet right just (00:21:31) let's start off the standard American (00:21:32) diet but then all the passengers that (00:21:35) come with that herbicides pesticides (00:21:37) Plastics that our food is in so we're (00:21:39) back to the endocrine disruptors we're (00:21:42) getting Ultra processed foods we're (00:21:44) getting inflammatory foods and then (00:21:46) we're also like the average American (00:21:49) woman goes into pregnancy deficient or (00:21:52) insufficient in like 15 different (00:21:55) nutrients we know that as women with (00:21:58) heavy periods we're efficient in Iron (00:22:00) all of those things affect whether our (00:22:02) hormones are being you know able to be (00:22:05) made properly and function properly then (00:22:07) their sleep stress is actually (00:22:10) considered an environmental toxin like (00:22:12) there are Departments of universities (00:22:13) looking at stress as an environmental (00:22:16) Toxin and you know the list goes on so (00:22:19) when you think about that game of (00:22:21) telephone and all of those like your (00:22:23) hormones being passed through all of (00:22:25) those filters then by the time it gets (00:22:27) back to the hormone receptor in your (00:22:29) body that it's supposed to act on and do (00:22:31) the work of the message is confused and (00:22:34) that is what is happening and the thing (00:22:35) is our girls are being exposed to these (00:22:37) things from before they're even born (00:22:41) yeah and and like even when we're (00:22:42) pregnant all the environment like it's (00:22:44) it's stressful to think about beauty (00:22:46) products Beauty prodct plastic water (00:22:48) bottles perfumes like perfume even just (00:22:51) they think about like the candle (00:22:52) industry the scent industry getting in (00:22:55) an Uber working in an Uber there's so (00:22:58) many points of (00:23:00) interruption and then also there's this (00:23:03) phenomenon that is known as evolutionary (00:23:06) mismatch it's a evolutionary biology (00:23:09) term and what it means is that we've (00:23:11) lived on this planet for you know XYZ (00:23:14) hundreds of thousands of years and our (00:23:17) bodies have evolved our liver (00:23:18) detoxification systems have evolved our (00:23:21) blood sugar and Metabolism have evolved (00:23:24) all of these things have our stress (00:23:25) decompression systems have evolved our (00:23:27) adrenal stress Act us to be able to cope (00:23:32) with the world as it's been for a very (00:23:34) long time and in the last 70 years we've (00:23:37) seen this introduction of endocrine (00:23:39) disruptors levels of environmental (00:23:42) stress like all these factors have (00:23:43) actually happened in just less than a (00:23:46) century and so there's this mismatch (00:23:49) between what our bodies are intended to (00:23:51) do and the overload that's being put on (00:23:54) us and at the same time the (00:23:56) undernourishment the lack of straight (00:23:58) you know sleep relaxation all the food (00:24:00) nourishment we need sedentary lifestyle (00:24:02) so that's this mismatch what is the (00:24:06) first thing you would say to someone (00:24:07) who's listening and is like o I feel (00:24:10) like something is off like what is step (00:24:13) one how do you (00:24:15) proceed in a way that's not overwhelming (00:24:19) because then I think that's how most (00:24:21) people feel it feels overwhelming and (00:24:24) know even like that's why in hormone (00:24:26) intelligence I break it down this sounds (00:24:29) a lot right but when we unpack it it (00:24:31) really is just back to the basics that (00:24:33) we all have what are access to good you (00:24:36) know stress (00:24:38) decompression sleep good healthy food (00:24:41) even if it's not or organic but really (00:24:43) whole unprocessed Foods as much as much (00:24:46) as possible keeping our blood sugar (00:24:48) steady spending time with people we love (00:24:51) doing things we enjoy we forget laughter (00:24:53) we forget pleasure as really important (00:24:55) parts of our health movement and I tend (00:24:59) to lean away from the word exercise (00:25:00) because I think it's such a like a not (00:25:03) good four-letter word but it's way more (00:25:05) letters and um it stresses people out (00:25:07) right but to think about how do you love (00:25:09) to move your body like I have a weighted (00:25:11) hula hoop and a jump rope love so much (00:25:15) fun because I feel like I'm a kid and I (00:25:16) can put on you know boy band punk music (00:25:20) and like jump rope or hula hoop and that (00:25:22) is my pleasure and it's actually great (00:25:24) exercise right so I think of that as (00:25:27) movement those are just some BAS Basics (00:25:30) and I would say back to what we were (00:25:31) talking about earlier about blood sugar (00:25:34) if women could learn to not get hangry (00:25:38) not get hungry and learn which foods (00:25:42) keep us in a steady state because how we (00:25:45) feel is a reflection of how our hormones (00:25:48) are doing all of those hormones I (00:25:49) mentioned and how our hormones are doing (00:25:51) is going to affect how we feel so if we (00:25:53) want to get out of the Vicious Cycle we (00:25:55) want to get in a blood sugar balance (00:25:57) cycle but I want to just add CU you said (00:25:59) what's the first thing women to do if (00:26:00) they're feeling off the absolute first (00:26:03) thing to do is actually trust yourself (00:26:05) right to realize okay I'm not feeling (00:26:09) how I want to feel or how I kind of (00:26:11) think I should feel not based on some (00:26:13) Instagram feed where everybody looks (00:26:15) like they're just like in the modern (00:26:16) version of Baywatch right but like how (00:26:18) do you really feel and how do you want (00:26:21) to feel and those are two questions that (00:26:23) I I literally I ask my patients at their (00:26:25) first visit how do you feel how do you (00:26:28) want to feel and then we look at like (00:26:30) what's realistic right if you want to (00:26:31) feel like perfect every minute of the (00:26:33) day I'm like no life has es and flows (00:26:35) Cycles have and flows but trusting (00:26:38) trusting okay I'm not feeling my best (00:26:42) and then figuring out what sources you (00:26:44) can trust for (00:26:46) information sometimes we've just been (00:26:48) having heavy periods or not nourished (00:26:50) well and it may may be something as (00:26:52) simple as like your iron is a little low (00:26:54) or your vitamin D is a little low and so (00:26:55) you're getting sick a lot or both are (00:26:57) low there's sometimes just like super (00:26:59) simple fixes that we can do without (00:27:02) having to like Mega supplement and (00:27:04) change our diets and go crazy on all the (00:27:06) things and so finding a healthcare (00:27:08) provider that you can at least resonate (00:27:11) with enough and Trust enough and say (00:27:14) okay this is how I'm feeling look if (00:27:16) they're gaslighting you find another (00:27:18) provider or bring someone with you that (00:27:21) you trust who's going to kind of bear (00:27:23) witness and people Physicians act better (00:27:25) when they're when there's a witness in (00:27:27) the room basically when you an advocate (00:27:30) go with your questions written out ahead (00:27:31) of time so you don't get nervous or (00:27:34) overridden by the agenda of the (00:27:35) appointment and just just like this is (00:27:37) how I'm feeling I was not feeling this (00:27:39) way before or I've always felt this way (00:27:41) but I don't feel like I should be (00:27:42) feeling this way and so can you help me (00:27:45) sort it out can we do some basic blood (00:27:47) work look at my nutrition look at my (00:27:48) thyroid levels and so that's where I (00:27:51) would start trust yourself find (00:27:54) resources you trust and then go from (00:27:57) there it can be really hard to find (00:28:01) practitioners who can give you both the (00:28:04) conventional answers you need in a (00:28:06) balanced non-judgmental way and all the (00:28:09) also the integrative and sometimes it's (00:28:11) hard to find the integrative who gives (00:28:13) you the balanced right so finding (00:28:16) someone in the middle can really make a (00:28:18) difference and then just get educated (00:28:21) from resources that you feel like aren't (00:28:23) making crazy big promises but again you (00:28:26) trust the information and start with (00:28:29) really simple things so blood sugar (00:28:32) balance let's just talk about it I'm (00:28:33) sure you you said you've had to really (00:28:35) learn to work with it for me I learned I (00:28:38) learned when I was pregnant with my (00:28:39) first like really what feeling fully (00:28:42) blood sugar balanced was like okay I (00:28:44) need to eat protein good quality fat (00:28:48) keep my energy up and it was like night (00:28:50) and day from the years before like go go (00:28:54) go skip a meal I was never a coffee (00:28:56) drinker but like suddenly find myself (00:28:59) in that blood sugar drop so learning for (00:29:02) me that was just huge and if I stay with (00:29:05) it it like I never don't and I I'm 58 (00:29:08) I'm turning 58 in two days and I just (00:29:10) got my blood work for the first time in (00:29:12) a couple of years it was like it was (00:29:14) perfect and I was like this stuff really (00:29:16) does actually make a difference my (00:29:19) hemoglobin A1c was great I wasn't anemic (00:29:22) I'm not a big meat eater but I do eat (00:29:25) meat in my diet like I was like okay my (00:29:27) cholesterol was great right you know and (00:29:29) I'm not strict or restrictive it's just (00:29:32) living a simple healthy balanced life (00:29:34) and keeping that blood sugar (00:29:36) steady can you share some (00:29:39) foods that people should just be mindful (00:29:43) of yeah to avoid those blood sugar (00:29:45) spikes because I think people have no (00:29:48) idea yeah so let's talk about what a (00:29:50) blood sugar spike is right if we're (00:29:53) having steady energy because we're (00:29:55) eating consistently and we're getting I (00:29:58) don't you know I don't love breaking (00:30:00) Foods down into sort of nutritionism (00:30:02) where we're talking about protein and (00:30:03) carbs and fats and micronutrients (00:30:06) because it's like it's food and I want (00:30:08) food to be pleasure and nourishment and (00:30:11) all the sensual things and not (00:30:14) restriction and not it should be (00:30:15) pleasure it really should and within (00:30:18) that we are so raised to think to (00:30:23) associate pleasure with foods that as I (00:30:26) once heard someone say are a party in (00:30:28) our mind mouth because we're so used to (00:30:30) overly sugarly sugary tasting or overly (00:30:33) salted or overly flavored foods that (00:30:36) sometimes a simple meal of like brown (00:30:38) rice and some steamed uh steamed (00:30:40) vegetables and chicken like well that (00:30:42) doesn't have any flavor well if we're (00:30:44) always used to those things that are (00:30:46) overly saturated and programmed to make (00:30:49) us addicted to them the simple Foods (00:30:51) don't actually taste as flavorful but (00:30:53) once you kind of get off of those even (00:30:56) for like a few weeks you start to (00:30:57) realize oh (00:30:59) there's tremendous pleasure in so many (00:31:01) ways to like season and flavor and eat (00:31:03) well and you taste you (00:31:06) taste yes so I would say the first thing (00:31:10) to really be mindful of are ultr (00:31:13) processed foods sugary Foods oh I want (00:31:17) to just jump back actually so when we're (00:31:20) eating in that way that keeps our blood (00:31:22) sugar steady which is getting adequate (00:31:25) protein and a good quality fat some (00:31:28) small carbs at some meals like healthy (00:31:30) carbs that can be brown rice quinoa (00:31:33) Millet buckwheat um if you're not gluten (00:31:36) intolerant it can be really good (00:31:37) sourdough bread or good you know pasta (00:31:41) it can be um uh and then like lots of (00:31:44) fruits and vegetables and rinse and (00:31:45) repeat whether you have two meals a day (00:31:47) if you're doing some like you know time (00:31:49) based eating or three meals a day which (00:31:51) is what I actually tend to lean into (00:31:53) same keeping that steady and what's (00:31:56) amazing is a lot of the highs and lows (00:31:58) that we experience in our lives that (00:32:00) we're taught are normal I feel like (00:32:02) really good energy then I'm crashing at (00:32:04) 10: in the morning or 3: in the (00:32:06) afternoon you realize like that pretty (00:32:08) much never ever has to happen also as (00:32:11) our as our blood sugar gets steady our (00:32:13) inflammation goes down so some of those (00:32:15) aches and pains some of those chronic (00:32:17) headaches the different things that we (00:32:19) might experience start to subside our (00:32:22) gut isn't getting bloated with lots of (00:32:24) sugar and our gut symptoms start to (00:32:27) clear up um we start to see over not (00:32:31) that long a time that the ups and downs (00:32:33) and dysregulations that we're (00:32:34) experiencing in our hormones start to (00:32:36) steady out and it doesn't mean that when (00:32:38) you're premenstrual you don't notice a (00:32:40) little bit of like I feel different I (00:32:42) don't really want to go to that party I (00:32:44) actually want to stay home and I do want (00:32:45) to watch Netflix or read my book or do (00:32:47) nothing or take a bath that is like the (00:32:49) normal EB and flow but when those es and (00:32:51) flows are extreme and taking you out of (00:32:53) your life or making you uncomfortable or (00:32:55) have to take medication that's not how (00:32:57) we're supposed to experience our bodies (00:33:00) so blood sugar steadiness starts to (00:33:03) level all of that out so things to avoid (00:33:05) all the ultr processed food anything (00:33:07) that's like a quick carbohydrate so if (00:33:11) it's white flour white processed I'm not (00:33:13) saying never eat it like if you're going (00:33:15) to your best friend's wedding and (00:33:16) they're having like a wedding cake and (00:33:17) it's white flour of course unless you're (00:33:19) diabetic or something like that you (00:33:20) can't have it your Celiac you know we (00:33:22) can enjoy these things in the foundation (00:33:25) of like I call it 955 like if 9 5% of (00:33:28) what you're intaking is like good energy (00:33:31) good information you can pretty much do (00:33:33) whatever you want the other (00:33:35) 5% yeah it's so true by the way because (00:33:37) I feel like your body just starts to (00:33:40) respond to those life shifts because you (00:33:43) become so sensitive to I mean for like (00:33:48) for example I pretty much since I (00:33:51) started drinking caffeine have always (00:33:53) had caffeine on an empty stomach never (00:33:56) bothered me yeah until like my late 30s (00:34:00) and in my 40s I was like what happened (00:34:04) were you just jangled I just could my (00:34:06) moods were so severe my highs were high (00:34:10) my lows were low I was so reactive fiery (00:34:13) like it literally was like agitated yeah (00:34:16) so agitated and I knew so did you start (00:34:20) to have it with a (00:34:21) meal I start well first of all I I don't (00:34:25) necessarily wake up hungry M so it's (00:34:29) been this like I've had to just train (00:34:31) myself to eat before I'm even hungry and (00:34:35) then to H and even shifting to matcha (00:34:39) over coffee yeah depending where I'm at (00:34:41) in my cycle interestingly enough because (00:34:44) I can handle it and organic coffee makes (00:34:47) such a difference over non-organic (00:34:49) coffee like little tweaks like that but (00:34:52) having it after I have my smoothie or my (00:34:58) with almond butter like I feel it (00:35:01) doesn't (00:35:02) even I don't even like shift like I have (00:35:04) a little boost of energy but I don't get (00:35:07) picked up and dropped anymore there's (00:35:08) some interesting data too like having (00:35:10) coffee at 10:00 in the morning actually (00:35:12) gives you better brain fuel you get more (00:35:14) from your coffee if you are drinking it (00:35:16) or any Caffe beverage so kind of like a (00:35:18) good argument have your good breakfast (00:35:20) although there's something about coffee (00:35:21) in the morning right that's nice too I (00:35:23) never had my first cup of coffee you're (00:35:25) going to not even believe this till I (00:35:26) was in my early 40s wow never had (00:35:28) coffeee never had coffee never had (00:35:30) coffee alcohol either and then my (00:35:33) daughter was in a relationship with a (00:35:35) barista and coffee got introduced into (00:35:37) our lives and I've actually come to love (00:35:39) it but yeah I can't do it on empty (00:35:40) stomach either no just and I really do (00:35:43) enjoy it yeah so and and I find that (00:35:47) when I get to that place of like even (00:35:50) telling myself like I'm avoiding it for (00:35:53) 30 (00:35:54) days I become obsessed isn't that funny (00:35:57) how our brain does yes the I'm just like (00:36:00) stop doing that and just like right now (00:36:03) it's it's truly this dance of like (00:36:06) really tapping like waking up like (00:36:08) whenever I have days where I'm doing the (00:36:11) podcast I'm like it is a matcha morning (00:36:13) without a doubt when my days are really (00:36:16) full matcha and then on the weekend I (00:36:19) can have a latte yeah that's how I feel (00:36:21) like Sunday morning it's a nice time (00:36:24) it's really interesting I think there's (00:36:26) so many evolutions of our life as women (00:36:28) right so just knowing for me I'm the (00:36:30) same like if I'm having a really intense (00:36:32) day where I'm going to be seeing a lot (00:36:33) of patience I'm going to be speaking (00:36:36) doing some events that require a lot of (00:36:38) emotional or just energy output I have (00:36:40) got to start my day early two eggs piece (00:36:44) of toast with some Nut Butter like I (00:36:46) know I need to fuel up on protein and (00:36:48) good fat if I'm having a more relaxed (00:36:50) morning I might have like a 10 o00 (00:36:53) breakfast that day and that works for me (00:36:55) too because there's so much out there (00:36:56) like oh if you wake up not hungry (00:36:57) there's wrong (00:36:59) with yeah that is not universally it can (00:37:02) be true but is mostly not not (00:37:04) universally true sugar is a really (00:37:06) interesting one so sugar we've talked (00:37:07) about processed food coffee sugar and (00:37:10) alcohol are both really interesting I (00:37:12) think they have a tremendous impact not (00:37:14) only on our biology blood sugar hormones (00:37:18) and these are like well documented in (00:37:20) the literature like just how significant (00:37:22) the impact of alcohol is on women's (00:37:24) hormones at various stages of our life (00:37:26) cycles and various stages of our (00:37:28) Cycles but they just really affect our (00:37:32) mood and so when we talk about like (00:37:33) creating steady state steady energy and (00:37:36) it doesn't mean like we don't get I I'm (00:37:38) very I'm like a New Yorker I talk with (00:37:40) my hands I drop F bombs I get emotional (00:37:42) like I'm not talking about like being (00:37:45) like all the time that's not happening (00:37:47) but feeling like we have a little bit (00:37:49) more um we spin out less far we come (00:37:52) back fast you know faster like have more (00:37:54) of a center alcohol just feels like it (00:37:58) just just jacks up our moods it affects (00:38:00) our sleep it drops us down it's a (00:38:02) depressant like I don't really know very (00:38:04) many women who have a drink or two and (00:38:07) then the next morning feel great they're (00:38:09) like I'm R to go like they feel puffy (00:38:12) and a little blue same with sugar it (00:38:15) feels great while it tastes great while (00:38:16) we're eating it we get that little quick (00:38:17) energy just like with alcohol we get (00:38:19) that little like disinhibition and we (00:38:20) feel relaxed but then 3 hours later (00:38:24) we're crashing we're tired we're (00:38:25) irritable we're hangry and toward what (00:38:28) you're saying M you know who Michael (00:38:30) pollen is I love Michael pollen he wrote (00:38:33) this book called The Botany of desire it (00:38:34) was one of his first books and it's (00:38:37) really fascinating to me what you were (00:38:38) saying about how when you're going to (00:38:40) quit coffee your brain becomes obsessed (00:38:42) with it and you're like even for 30 days (00:38:44) so Michael pollen's book botony of (00:38:46) Desire was about how plants and (00:38:51) molecules are in some ways ingeniously (00:38:54) designed to make us want them so that we (00:38:59) keep ingesting them and we keep (00:39:01) replanting them and they keep (00:39:04) repopulating so the entire book was (00:39:06) about things like apples having seeds (00:39:09) that animals eat or we eat because we're (00:39:12) animals too and we end up eating some of (00:39:14) the seeds and then we end up pooping the (00:39:16) seeds out and it's sort of like Nature's (00:39:18) ingenious way of getting us to want (00:39:21) things or to get habituated to things (00:39:24) and when I think about that I think (00:39:25) about coffee right it is (00:39:28) addictive it does make us feel good and (00:39:31) I'm not actually anti- coffee because (00:39:33) actually studies show for people in (00:39:35) their 50s and Beyond it can be a (00:39:36) phenomenal cognitive stimulant so one to (00:39:39) two cups of coffee a day can actually be (00:39:41) part of preventing brain fog staving off (00:39:44) depression staving off Alzheimer's even (00:39:46) for younger people it can be a great (00:39:49) anti-depressant we think like all the (00:39:50) people on anti-depressants if you're (00:39:52) sleeping and you're tolerating it well (00:39:54) and your gut is good I think it's fine (00:39:56) makes me so happy happy yeah and so when (00:40:00) I think about that 30 like your brain (00:40:02) like screaming for it I think we just (00:40:05) have to remember like kind of remind (00:40:06) ourselves it's hard but like of course (00:40:09) because the plant is making me want to (00:40:11) have more of it and you can just say a (00:40:13) little nice offering to the plant like (00:40:15) I'll come back to you and the time is (00:40:17) right thank you so much but I'm not (00:40:19) going to partake right now and then (00:40:21) we're just resetting the thought process (00:40:22) and weirdly it can actually help us to (00:40:26) calm that screaming call for it that's (00:40:29) what I do now like whenever I I actually (00:40:32) wanted it this morning I had a funny (00:40:35) night of sleep with my daughter last (00:40:37) night and I was like okay I know that I (00:40:40) I have these internal conversations with (00:40:43) myself because it helps me kind of work (00:40:46) through it but I was like I really want (00:40:48) that right now but I know yes it's not (00:40:51) the best decision in this moment it (00:40:53) doesn't mean that I can't have it and (00:40:56) funny enough I didn't have it today (00:40:58) like sometimes you just when you really (00:41:01) lean into what your body is intuitively (00:41:04) telling you and listen listen it's just (00:41:06) getting quiet enough and it comes back (00:41:08) to that question that I was saying I (00:41:10) asked my patients is how do you feel and (00:41:13) how do you really want to feel and I'll (00:41:16) sometimes just say to myself well do I (00:41:18) really want to feel how that is going to (00:41:21) make me feel later so I didn't have any (00:41:24) alcohol till I was in my or like (00:41:25) literally had not had a drink I remember (00:41:27) my first drink I was like 40 I was out (00:41:29) at a restaurant with the woman who was (00:41:31) my ride or die best friend and we (00:41:34) ordered Mojitos and it was like oh wow (00:41:36) this is really (00:41:37) nice and there is that like Pleasant (00:41:40) relaxing feeling but I'm not a big (00:41:43) drinker but with menopause forget it it (00:41:45) was like if I were to drink a half a (00:41:47) glass of white wine I'm going to wake up (00:41:49) at 2: in the morning and at first I'd be (00:41:52) like oh it's probably not going to (00:41:53) happen again and then it would happen (00:41:55) and now it's just like I have friends (00:41:58) who were social drinkers where have you (00:41:59) know we have dinner and I'm (00:42:02) like you so much I just like I'll tell (00:42:04) myself like do I really want to wake up (00:42:06) in the middle of the night tonight like (00:42:08) no do I really want to feel puffy and (00:42:10) irritable or blue tomorrow no is this (00:42:13) actually worth it like no that's what (00:42:16) led me to taking this true like inner (00:42:22) experiment with self four and a half it (00:42:25) will be five years this year that I um (00:42:28) have been living life without alcohol I (00:42:30) don't call myself sober it's just a (00:42:33) choice I just don't drink it's not a (00:42:34) thing but it was through really paying (00:42:38) attention to how I felt after I drank (00:42:42) because I think it's so easy to connect (00:42:44) with how you feel when you drink yeah (00:42:46) right but it was like the next day even (00:42:48) the day after because as you get older (00:42:51) right it's harder for your body to (00:42:53) recover and repair yes and to just like (00:42:57) like there's no bouncing or jumping back (00:42:59) anywhere yeah but back in bed um when (00:43:01) you're in that state and I just there (00:43:05) was just something deep inside me I was (00:43:07) like I just need to get really centered (00:43:09) really clear yeah let me just experiment (00:43:12) taking the next 30 days and not drinking (00:43:16) and it was I mean I think of anything (00:43:20) that I've chosen to move away from I (00:43:23) don't think that my life would be where (00:43:25) it is today I truly mean that with and (00:43:28) and not just from a business sense (00:43:32) from just like my own relationship with (00:43:35) self my relationship with my husband my (00:43:38) friends my I there's a different (00:43:41) connectedness and Clarity that I feel (00:43:44) and it's just made me never look back it (00:43:47) was never this like feeling of um like (00:43:51) you missed something no like cutting it (00:43:53) out and like people are like is it so (00:43:55) hard I'm like I think when you feel so (00:43:57) called to move towards all the things (00:44:00) that make you feel more aligned with (00:44:03) your truest (00:44:04) self there's no struggle yeah right can (00:44:07) we talk about this piece of alcohol a (00:44:09) little more with women's health because (00:44:11) I'm also wanting to share something (00:44:13) that's really important so the number of (00:44:16) menopausal women in this country is (00:44:18) dramatically increasing and it's (00:44:20) beautiful we're seeing this whole (00:44:21) movement happening now we're also seeing (00:44:24) and this has escalated since covid but (00:44:26) also is escalating with the number of (00:44:27) women in (00:44:28) menopause that the severity of alcohol (00:44:33) rated issues for women in their 50s and (00:44:37) 60s and over is going up and there's (00:44:39) some I didn't even know this until I did (00:44:41) a two-part podcast on alcohol and (00:44:43) Women's Health like a year and a half (00:44:46) ago and um there was some data that I (00:44:49) came across that I didn't even realize (00:44:51) so when we are in par menopause and (00:44:54) menopause even if we've never been (00:44:56) drinkers our brain creates a desire for (00:45:02) alcohol we actually have a lower (00:45:05) threshold of clearing (00:45:07) alcohol and alcohol drinking becomes (00:45:11) more pleasurable so we have these three (00:45:13) things women are if you were a drinker (00:45:16) you're tending to want to drink more if (00:45:18) you weren't a drinker suddenly you might (00:45:20) start thinking oh that sounds pretty (00:45:22) good I think I'm going to do that we are (00:45:24) feeling more pleasure immediately in the (00:45:27) short run from the alcohol but our (00:45:30) tolerance is going down we're not (00:45:31) clearing it as well and so the the um (00:45:36) the risk of overdrinking having an (00:45:39) accident the risk of um becoming an (00:45:42) alcoholic even if you never even drank (00:45:45) before is becoming really significant so (00:45:48) kind of just I know it's a little (00:45:49) intense but I want to really highlight (00:45:51) that because we've been sold such a bill (00:45:52) of goods by the alcohol (00:45:55) industry that drinking is actually good (00:45:57) for us and from a scientific perspective (00:46:00) the only drink that's good for us is no (00:46:02) alcohol and I think you can still enjoy (00:46:04) it and like do it smartly and do it (00:46:06) pleasurably but I do think looking at (00:46:09) the actual impact of it on our (00:46:12) well-being is important and really ask (00:46:14) like how do I feel when I drink that and (00:46:16) why am I is there another way I can feel (00:46:18) some of this way or can I do it in (00:46:22) moderation really moderation for sharing (00:46:24) that because I think it's really (00:46:25) important for people to take honest (00:46:28) inventory in their life yeah and to (00:46:31) really let that land because I think (00:46:33) especially (00:46:35) in I feel like in the motherhood space (00:46:38) it's so it Trends so hard to you know (00:46:42) throw up the glass of wine and be like (00:46:44) it's that and and not that that you (00:46:46) can't do that yeah I'm zero judgment (00:46:50) about all the things if it brings you (00:46:52) pleasure great but the honest inventory (00:46:54) I think is the important piece the (00:46:56) honest as inventory and I (00:47:01) am so looking forward to hearing more (00:47:06) about menopause from you because I know (00:47:09) how comfortable you are talking about it (00:47:11) and I also just feel (00:47:13) like it needs to become a bigger topic (00:47:16) of (00:47:18) conversation amongst women and we need (00:47:21) to know more about per metapic what is (00:47:24) that when is that happening what happens (00:47:26) to our body like what are these things (00:47:28) that we should really be knowledgeable (00:47:32) knowledgeable about and understand like (00:47:35) what the hell is happening to us you (00:47:37) know what it's crazy I mean I I don't (00:47:38) think people know no well I mean here's (00:47:40) the thing I've been a midwife for 40 (00:47:42) years I've been a physician for 15 years (00:47:47) and I started studying Women's Health (00:47:50) changing my lifestyle my I was 15 years (00:47:52) old I was 16 years old when I started (00:47:55) studying Midwifery so I have been doing (00:47:57) this work not just living the lifestyle (00:47:59) but doing this work for a really long (00:48:01) time and I would say that (00:48:06) menopause was really it took me by (00:48:08) surprise and there were a lot of aspects (00:48:11) that have taken me by surprise and I've (00:48:13) been pretty fortunate and I haven't had (00:48:16) vaginal dryness I haven't had (00:48:19) significant night sweats or hot flashes (00:48:21) or aches and pains any of like the (00:48:23) really disruptive things sleep has (00:48:24) definitely been a surprise me I've been (00:48:26) a good sleeper my whole life but (00:48:29) interrupted sleep like wow wow I'm like (00:48:32) living by Yoga Nidra right now like I've (00:48:35) got my insight timer and have no (00:48:37) Financial relationship insight timer I (00:48:39) have my insight timer I have like my (00:48:41) bookmarked yoga nedas and I just (00:48:43) delightedly discovered that you can (00:48:45) actually I think this might be a new (00:48:46) feature hit this like repeat button so I (00:48:49) can listen to a 45 minute yoga NRA if I (00:48:52) like wake up at 4 in the morning but I (00:48:54) can have it Go and repeat at 40 so I've (00:48:57) got like 90 minutes so now I'm sleeping (00:48:59) till 5:30 or 6 and I'm like getting a (00:49:01) good night's sleep it's (00:49:04) transformative but what really has (00:49:06) shocked me and (00:49:07) this I did not anticipate was the (00:49:15) psychological emotional spiritual (00:49:18) aspects of becoming an older woman in (00:49:23) this culture of looking in the mirror (00:49:26) and seeing my face change and again like (00:49:28) alcohol I mean Botox filler facelifts do (00:49:31) what makes you feel good do what keeps (00:49:34) you job secure do what you need to do (00:49:37) it's not felt natural to me to do that (00:49:39) and I'm not saying I not your skin I (00:49:42) cannot believe a no I really it's insane (00:49:47) thank you well you know I have changes (00:49:51) in my face structure I have just changes (00:49:53) in my body changes in my hair thickness (00:49:55) things that did not expect (00:49:59) to find to think about like I've been (00:50:02) generally throughout my life not (00:50:05) physically not centered on physical (00:50:07) appearance and suddenly I'm like wow (00:50:11) what does this mean to be on video or (00:50:15) to own what to truly like own it not say (00:50:20) the words but truly own what it means to (00:50:24) be in this different phase of life and (00:50:26) to re (00:50:28) invent my creativity reinvent my (00:50:32) energy you don't even realize like how (00:50:36) much Creative Energy is behind ovulation (00:50:39) for example that is different when you (00:50:42) don't have those estrogen and (00:50:43) progesterone surgeons each month that (00:50:45) are like oh right and then you kind of (00:50:48) have that little de Crescendo around (00:50:50) your menstrual you know your period and (00:50:52) your flow and you're like okay A little (00:50:54) rest time and so like you're cre creting (00:50:57) new rhythms for yourself it's really (00:51:00) really (00:51:01) profound and then there's this whole (00:51:03) biology so I have my oldest daughter's (00:51:07) 36 and last year we went to an outdoor (00:51:12) ballet dance event we I live in the (00:51:14) burges we went to Jacob's pillow and we (00:51:16) were ordering some salads before we went (00:51:18) to the show at this little Outdoor Cafe (00:51:21) and there was a gentleman behind the (00:51:23) counter serving the salads who I'm (00:51:25) guessing was in his mid-60s my daughter (00:51:27) is I mean she's she's beautiful I mean (00:51:30) every woman is beautiful she has a (00:51:33) certain kind of look that gets (00:51:35) attention and she walked away and I (00:51:39) watched this man's eyes just follow her (00:51:42) to the bathroom and I was kind of like (00:51:46) sexually invisible on some level it was (00:51:49) really interesting and there was this (00:51:51) moment of like I mean of course I have (00:51:53) no um Envy of my daughter she's exactly (00:51:56) where she's supposed to be in her life (00:51:58) but what I realize it is is that we are (00:52:03) producing different pheromones when (00:52:04) we're in those fertile years we're (00:52:06) producing different energy that also (00:52:09) calls attention to us physically as (00:52:12) women and when we're in those years we (00:52:15) don't always want that attention we (00:52:17) think we don't always want that (00:52:18) attention right but then there's some (00:52:19) validation that sometimes comes with it (00:52:22) and then when it's not (00:52:23) there there is I think at first a (00:52:27) Reckoning with like oh I didn't realize (00:52:30) I'm getting my validation from part of (00:52:32) me being young in a culture that (00:52:34) validates (00:52:36) youngness um and now I'm like finding (00:52:39) new ways (00:52:41) of seeing beauty in all of us at (00:52:44) different AG like I always saw that but (00:52:46) now being in it you have to think about (00:52:48) think about it differently right like (00:52:51) you know like when you're a teenager you (00:52:52) don't think you're going to be in your (00:52:53) 30s but when you're in your 20s 30s even (00:52:55) early 40s it's different to think about (00:52:59) being your mother's age or your (00:53:01) grandmother's age and you see the (00:53:02) changes in them and it's natural but (00:53:04) then when you see it in yourself it's (00:53:05) like whoa and then that's just one (00:53:08) aspect of it I mean for so many women (00:53:10) the symptoms are really disruptive the (00:53:13) brain fog the rage that is one thing (00:53:16) I've definitely experienced is like (00:53:19) levels of having to really catch myself (00:53:22) with my my partner um just like things (00:53:26) that would not have set me off before (00:53:28) like do you really have to chew and (00:53:30) breathe do you (00:53:32) actually like actually have to chew and (00:53:39) breathe what if that's happening (00:53:41) pre I think it happens at different (00:53:43) phases that's the thing right it's like (00:53:46) we start to get inklings up it can (00:53:47) happen postpartum like I'm so touched (00:53:49) out don't touch me I'm touched out right (00:53:52) it does happen in different phases of (00:53:53) our life um so there have been some (00:53:55) interesting things and just the sheer (00:53:57) number of women who are struggling with (00:54:00) sleep and it really affecting them or (00:54:03) just joint aches and all the things that (00:54:05) you don't know estrogen is protecting (00:54:07) you from until it starts to wne so you (00:54:09) asked about medication and what I think (00:54:11) about medication and whether that's the (00:54:13) pill when we're experiencing things like (00:54:15) PMS or PCOS polycystic OV syndrome or (00:54:19) endomet pain with endometriosis whether (00:54:21) it's doing fertility medication or (00:54:23) whether it's doing hormone replacement (00:54:25) therapy like there are lots of (00:54:26) reflection points in our life where or (00:54:28) for some women it's their whole life (00:54:30) right where we're feeling like our (00:54:32) bodies are betraying us or in a battle (00:54:35) and we're uncomfortable a lot of the (00:54:37) time and I am not anti- anything that (00:54:41) makes you not suffer unless it's harmful (00:54:43) for you like opioids or overdrinking or (00:54:46) self-medicating like if it's harming you (00:54:48) then let's find better ways to do it and (00:54:50) certainly there are no Pharmaceuticals (00:54:52) that are not without risk so it's all (00:54:55) about figuring out (00:54:57) what are the discomforts that are just (00:55:00) sort of like part (00:55:02) of aging finally right like you have (00:55:06) that beautiful rocking chair that you've (00:55:07) had forever and maybe it's creaking a (00:55:09) little bit does it really need to be (00:55:10) refinished or is it just part of the (00:55:12) beauty of it it's got a patina does it (00:55:14) need anything or is that just part of (00:55:15) the beauty of it or like this is not (00:55:17) functional this is making a noise every (00:55:19) time I move or this is gonna break or (00:55:22) something's really wrong here with the (00:55:23) mechanism and so I think it's finding (00:55:25) that like all the fine lines between how (00:55:29) am I feeling in my body how am I feeling (00:55:31) in my mind how am I feeling in my life (00:55:34) am I coping are there things that I can (00:55:36) do to more than cope but feel really (00:55:40) great and Thrive and are those things (00:55:42) within my capacity to do do I have the (00:55:45) bandwidth the time or is it adding more (00:55:47) to my to-do list now I would say that if (00:55:51) somebody's thinking finding time to eat (00:55:53) well is beyond their (00:55:54) capacity we have to really rethink our (00:55:57) choices a little bit right there are so (00:55:59) many different ways to make that within (00:56:01) our capacity and I say that as not (00:56:04) someone who's an entrepreneur with grown (00:56:06) kids now but I say that as a mom who (00:56:08) homeschooled four kids and was in (00:56:10) medical school and running a nonprofit (00:56:11) and writing a textbook like literally (00:56:13) all at the same time like I've been (00:56:15) there too and had young kids and also (00:56:17) lived on a school teacher and a home (00:56:19) birth midwife's budget in a state where (00:56:20) Midwifery was illegal so we're talking (00:56:23) like lowbudget right with four kids so (00:56:26) it can be done does it take work yes but (00:56:28) it's like pay now or pay later we can (00:56:31) pay later with our health in big ways (00:56:33) same with sleep movement little bits of (00:56:36) self-care like in the form of meditation (00:56:39) or yoga or whatever it is that helps (00:56:41) calm us down we you know I once heard a (00:56:43) quote that said if you have no time you (00:56:45) have no eternity and I think that's (00:56:47) really powerful right and listening to (00:56:51) our body's little messages and symptoms (00:56:54) early on is so important (00:56:57) but if bigger things are not within your (00:57:00) bandwidth because you're so depressed (00:57:03) that you just can't get up and make the (00:57:05) food you can't get up and go to the yoga (00:57:07) class then you don't have the energy to (00:57:09) go figure out what herbs to take or what (00:57:11) supplements to take then yeah an SSRI or (00:57:15) hermother therapy can make all the (00:57:17) difference if you're struggling with (00:57:19) PCOS with severe cystic acne and you (00:57:23) don't have the bandwidth right now to do (00:57:26) all the things there are some things we (00:57:28) can do like we know that just increasing (00:57:29) your protein to like 80 grams a day and (00:57:32) in adding in HP exercise three times a (00:57:35) week just that can dramatically reduce (00:57:37) PC so like there are things that you can (00:57:39) break it down to the sort of granular (00:57:42) just do these three things for each of (00:57:43) these different conditions but you know (00:57:46) I've had patients who who come to me and (00:57:48) their cystic acne is keeping them from (00:57:50) going to the grocery store or going to (00:57:52) the job interview or showing up at grad (00:57:54) school and I'm like take birath control (00:57:57) P pill get the symptoms settled while (00:58:00) we're working on the other things if (00:58:02) menopause is making you miserable and (00:58:04) you're waking up five times a not a (00:58:05) night with hot flashes and you don't (00:58:08) have the bandwidth to do the flax seed (00:58:09) every day and all the things go ahead (00:58:11) and do the hormone replacement therapy (00:58:14) or try an SSRI it doesn't always have to (00:58:17) be hormones but know what your (00:58:19) individual risks are and know what the (00:58:21) bigger risks are and that means finding (00:58:23) again those people you can trust you can (00:58:25) ask the questions to and get the answers (00:58:27) that you can feel like you can rely on (00:58:30) and sometimes it's having a couple of (00:58:31) few of those people that you can turn to (00:58:33) yeah so I'm not against the (00:58:35) Pharmaceuticals I'm just really against (00:58:36) them being overprescribed right (00:58:39) prescribed like candy prescribed like (00:58:41) there's nothing else that works and (00:58:43) women being put on them without being (00:58:45) told the side effects or put on them and (00:58:47) left on them indefinitely like how many (00:58:49) women go on the pill at 15 and then (00:58:52) they're 32 35 first trying to get (00:58:55) pregnant and that's the first time (00:58:56) they're coming off of it or put on (00:58:58) hormone replacement therapy and not (00:58:59) someone checking with them in 2 years (00:59:01) like do you still need it are you having (00:59:03) abnormal bleeding are you having any (00:59:05) risks like Signs coming up I think it (00:59:08) it's honestly such a (00:59:10) breathable approach that (00:59:13) feels you know just like you said if if (00:59:16) you're someone who is just at like your (00:59:19) lowest of lows and you're depressed like (00:59:22) it is so important to get immediate care (00:59:25) and and it may be that SSRI and not to (00:59:30) have shame around it no shame people (00:59:32) have so like so many opinions and very (00:59:36) strong opinions especially in the (00:59:37) holistic integrative functional medicine (00:59:40) world and I've always loved that about (00:59:44) you that it feels it just feels Fair (00:59:48) like I don't know like that just is the (00:59:50) word that comes up for me and it's it's (00:59:54) like really meeting yourself where you (00:59:56) are in your life like I'm not you know (00:59:59) some people may not go do all those (01:00:02) those other things and all those steps (01:00:04) yeah because they don't have the mental (01:00:06) capacity and sometimes you feel better (01:00:09) you just start to feel better you get (01:00:11) out of the dark you get out of the (01:00:12) suffering and now it's like oh okay I do (01:00:15) have the energy to start moving every (01:00:18) day I do have the energy to actually (01:00:21) make those two chicken breasts or sauté (01:00:22) that those tofu cubes or whatever it is (01:00:25) that like is going to give me protein (01:00:26) make those eggs or just get out in the (01:00:28) sunlight or see my girlfriends and then (01:00:31) you start doing those things and then (01:00:33) sometimes you don't need the (01:00:34) intervention anymore and that's where (01:00:35) it's like re-evaluating do I still need (01:00:38) this can I try to drop my dose down and (01:00:41) see if I'm still needing this and it's (01:00:42) powerful I (01:00:44) think Wellness can be like conventional (01:00:46) medicine is so polarizing but Wellness (01:00:48) can be so polarizing too and so shame (01:00:50) and blame and the other thing too is (01:00:52) being on the side of it where I'm (01:00:54) actually taking care of People's Health (01:00:57) as a doctor like I'm really in the (01:00:59) sandbox and I know what women have time (01:01:01) for and bandwidth for I also know what (01:01:04) are unrealistic claims about supplements (01:01:07) and which ones you know yeah try it this (01:01:10) really works I also know that there are (01:01:12) wonderful people in the wellness space (01:01:15) who are in there with such a great (01:01:18) Mission and such great (01:01:21) information but who are also behind the (01:01:24) scenes taking the anti-depressant or the (01:01:26) thyroid medication and not disclosing (01:01:29) that so you get this you know you get (01:01:31) this perception of like oh how I manage (01:01:34) my me my depression with meditation but (01:01:37) I know that person personally or I'm (01:01:40) prescribing something and it's like (01:01:43) right they're on something and that's (01:01:45) really important but I think it's (01:01:46) important for people to disclose that so (01:01:50) that the average human being who is (01:01:52) coming to our (01:01:54) spaces knows that (01:01:57) it's a full gamut of things and isn't (01:01:59) under the illusion that if I just do all (01:02:01) the things she says I'm going to look (01:02:03) feel and dress like her right how (01:02:07) freaking important is that to hear I oh (01:02:10) I'm just like thank you for saying it (01:02:14) because it's so true and just the (01:02:18) transparency yeah you know like it it (01:02:21) just it humanizes all of us and like (01:02:25) what works for me and my practice and my (01:02:29) habits may not work for someone in (01:02:32) immediate need of um taking care of (01:02:36) their mental health and it's it just (01:02:40) it's such a breathable approach well I (01:02:42) just think that and I I have to check (01:02:44) myself on this too like somehow Wellness (01:02:46) has made us into these NeverEnding to-do (01:02:50) projects or self like we're like our own (01:02:52) home improvement project and that can (01:02:55) also be a lot of rules and a lot of (01:02:57) to-dos and the one thing I can say from (01:02:59) being in this work for a very long time (01:03:02) now is like there's also nothing new (01:03:04) Under the Sun that doesn't circulate (01:03:06) back around as a fad and the only thing (01:03:09) that doesn't do that is the basic (01:03:11) core eat well get rest have some fun (01:03:15) spend some time with the people you love (01:03:18) and I don't move you know time in nature (01:03:21) I don't want to under I don't want to (01:03:23) undervalue though how important (01:03:27) a whole foods natural (01:03:30) based not Ultra processed diet is and (01:03:33) when I say like I don't mean to like (01:03:35) sound boasty oh my blood work was (01:03:37) perfect it's really just to me I was (01:03:40) like oh it's a testimony to because it (01:03:43) does that's not how my family is like (01:03:46) it's not like I I come from this family (01:03:48) with (01:03:49) no issues right my mom has IBS and (01:03:52) thyroid problems there's heart disease (01:03:54) in my family I'm like so you know it was (01:03:56) important for me to check and see how (01:03:58) these parameters were (01:04:01) and it's just like I do think it's a (01:04:03) testament to the fact of a certain kind (01:04:05) of Lifestyle can really prevent but also (01:04:09) reverse so many of these chronic (01:04:12) conditions that women are experiencing I (01:04:13) also just like I want us to be able to (01:04:15) feel Joy in our bodies feel ease in our (01:04:18) bodies age well right there are cultures (01:04:21) around the world where people are still (01:04:23) living independently on no (01:04:25) Pharmaceutical (01:04:27) having sex and taking care of their (01:04:29) farms and balancing their Bank books (01:04:32) into their 90s and hundreds early (01:04:35) hundreds whereas you know in the United (01:04:38) States half of women over 50 are on at (01:04:40) least two medications many on more and (01:04:44) we don't have the gift of looking (01:04:48) forward to those kind of beautiful (01:04:51) independent years in a culture where (01:04:53) half of people end up with a chronic (01:04:55) disease so I want us to like Live Well (01:04:57) for a really long time same and I think (01:05:01) the one thing that I love that you said (01:05:03) too (01:05:05) is no matter what you you know do with (01:05:08) your patients it's it's the coming back (01:05:11) point and the checking in when you (01:05:15) stabilize your blood sugar your mood is (01:05:17) more stable and like shifting from there (01:05:21) I think that's one thing I feel like in (01:05:27) the medical world isn't always done (01:05:28) right it's just like there you go yeah (01:05:31) take this and talk to you see you know (01:05:34) it's also just such a different belief (01:05:36) system right in medicine you're taught (01:05:38) essentially that the disease starts the (01:05:40) day you figure out what it is as the (01:05:41) doctor and give the diagnosis as opposed (01:05:44) to these are decades long habits and (01:05:47) exposures that we're all having and I (01:05:49) think to me if there's any take-home (01:05:52) that women would have from our (01:05:54) conversation from my perspective like (01:05:56) like if you're going through health (01:05:59) symptoms if you're going through (01:06:00) struggles in your body it's not your (01:06:02) fault you're not broken you didn't do (01:06:05) anything wrong and I think that is (01:06:06) something that we can really internalize (01:06:08) also from both conventional medicine (01:06:10) like it's your bad habits or your bad (01:06:12) genes or from Wellness like you're just (01:06:15) not doing it enough you're not doing the (01:06:18) intermittent fasting enough you're not (01:06:20) eating enough plants you're not (01:06:21) meditating enough you're not doing the (01:06:23) right things enough rather than looking (01:06:25) at it's like we live in a very complex (01:06:27) world and what are the things that we (01:06:29) can do to kind of like nurture ourselves (01:06:33) and support ourselves eliminate the (01:06:35) things that are overwhelming our systems (01:06:37) and nurture ourselves with the things (01:06:38) that feed us well and not just food but (01:06:41) all the things ah it's so true and (01:06:45) shifting that to the birth conversation (01:06:49) because you are the ultimate birth (01:06:53) empowerer thank you it's true and I (01:06:56) think so many women feel um their power (01:07:02) is given over to the medic medical (01:07:04) system when they're especially in that (01:07:07) vulnerable place of giving birth and (01:07:09) maybe they don't have a doula or a (01:07:11) midwife and they're being told certain (01:07:16) things and and just (01:07:18) hearing how much knowledge you've shared (01:07:22) to to really put the power back into our (01:07:25) own hand (01:07:26) yeah it's such a (01:07:29) complicated world the obstetric world in (01:07:32) the sense that we are really vulnerable (01:07:34) and you know as a mom and I know as a (01:07:36) mom and a grandom I mean I would be like (01:07:38) um I would stand in front of a mother (01:07:40) bear if I had to like for my kids right (01:07:42) I mean you would do anything to protect (01:07:44) them and so if you're in labor and (01:07:46) someone is saying if you don't do this (01:07:48) well do you want this to happen to your (01:07:50) baby which is said we know there's a (01:07:53) huge Mis abuse of power happening in the (01:07:55) obsession world right now leading to (01:07:57) like anywhere between seven and (01:07:59) 15% of women who birth in the US right (01:08:01) now being able to be actually diagnosed (01:08:03) with PTSD and up to 30% of women saying (01:08:06) they've experienced birth trauma like (01:08:09) some psychological or physical thing (01:08:10) that (01:08:11) happened at the hands of the (01:08:13) conventional medical model that left (01:08:15) them feeling actually psychologically (01:08:18) traumatized so the first thing is we (01:08:22) have to give ourselves Grace we have got (01:08:25) to give our Grace and not second guess (01:08:28) anything about what we did or didn't do (01:08:31) it's the same with all the rest of it (01:08:32) like not that you eat well enough or do (01:08:35) this enough when you're in that moment (01:08:37) and you're birthing in a hospital and (01:08:39) the hospital is going to protect its (01:08:41) risk management and bottom line at all (01:08:43) and I'm not saying this from a (01:08:44) conspiratorial jaded perspective I'm (01:08:46) saying this as a family doctor trained (01:08:48) In Obstetrics having practiced (01:08:49) obstetrics in a hospital the bottom line (01:08:51) is the bottom line it's the hospital (01:08:53) doesn't want to be sued and that means (01:08:55) Prim primarily healthy baby secondarily (01:08:57) healthy mom and um the hospital's bottom (01:09:01) line of cost and these are very very (01:09:03) real factors that come into play I mean (01:09:05) I was literally taught the words in (01:09:08) medical school well in my residency the (01:09:11) only cesarian you get sued for is the (01:09:13) one you didn't do there's so much (01:09:15) pressure to do these procedures and (01:09:18) operations and now you're pregnant and (01:09:20) you're having contractions and they're (01:09:22) intense and you're having this kind of (01:09:25) you know psychedelic and like an (01:09:27) endogenously created psychedelic (01:09:29) experience because your hormones are (01:09:31) like you're high in labor right it's (01:09:34) just a natural thing we get these (01:09:35) altered perceptions and somebody's (01:09:38) telling you at the height of a (01:09:39) contraction if you don't have a cont you (01:09:41) don't have a c and your baby's gonna (01:09:43) blah blah blah blah blah I had based on (01:09:45) the (01:09:46) monitor of course you're gonna have it (01:09:48) it's like take my right arm too if you (01:09:50) need it for my babies so I think if (01:09:54) that's happened to anyone whether it was (01:09:56) a NE if it was a necessary cesarian of (01:09:59) course I mean you did what you needed to (01:10:00) do but even at the end of the day if you (01:10:03) look back on it and you're learning (01:10:04) about unnecessary cesarians and you're (01:10:06) not sure your was yours was or you think (01:10:09) yours wasn't it was because you made the (01:10:12) choice to protect your babies at that (01:10:13) moment and that's all that matters and (01:10:16) like you're an amazing mama and give (01:10:18) yourself Grace that is like the only (01:10:21) thing and at the same time it's up to (01:10:24) people like me who are now moms of grown (01:10:29) kids and grandmothers to fight the (01:10:31) battle to change it you shouldn't have (01:10:33) to fight that battle when you're in (01:10:34) labor sadly sometimes you do and that's (01:10:37) hopefully where your Doula or a partner (01:10:39) can come in or you have the most amazing (01:10:42) OB or family doctor in the world who's (01:10:44) really like all about helping you birth (01:10:46) physiologically and innately if you (01:10:48) don't need (01:10:49) interventions it's also about educating (01:10:52) women about working with midwives (01:10:54) because as midwives we don't have the (01:10:56) same statistics like we don't have (01:10:58) unnecessary cesarian sections for the (01:11:00) most part we don't have unnecessary (01:11:02) epidurals and otomies and all the things (01:11:05) so finding yourself a midwife is really (01:11:08) important if you can um and then just (01:11:12) really getting educated you know getting (01:11:14) educated figure out what you really do (01:11:16) and you really don't want because we (01:11:18) might have people listening who are like (01:11:20) what are she talking I want an epidural (01:11:22) I'm like not thinking about anything (01:11:23) else and it's like all power to you (01:11:26) also I'm scheduled to have a C-section (01:11:28) because I'm having triplets do it like (01:11:31) whatever the reason is make the choice (01:11:33) that's actually most aligned with what (01:11:36) you need but also what feels right to (01:11:38) you and what you want and that might be (01:11:40) like squatting your bathroom with your (01:11:42) partner and your sister and your Midwife (01:11:45) or it might be choosing that C-section (01:11:48) it's all good but know the choice like (01:11:50) know the implications know what you need (01:11:52) to ask know what you need to look for (01:11:55) know when things are going well KN when (01:11:56) things aren't and get comfortable (01:11:59) advocating for yourself and that's (01:12:01) really hard for women because we're not (01:12:03) taught to speak up for ourselves and (01:12:04) we're not taught at the end of the day (01:12:06) to push against Authority and medical (01:12:08) Authority will often push back oh yeah (01:12:11) and so that's tricky it really is yeah (01:12:15) did you home birth your (01:12:18) grandkids I did you know what with all (01:12:21) the things that people say are my (01:12:22) accomplishments the thing that I'm I'm (01:12:25) most proud of but most like honored (01:12:27) about and delighted about is that I got (01:12:29) to be the Midwife for my grandchildren (01:12:32) and it's a little bit of story because (01:12:34) my daughter-in-law is actually a Harvard (01:12:37) trained pediatrician with a Harvard (01:12:40) master's degree in public health so talk (01:12:43) about like (01:12:44) conservative (01:12:46) training and she H and we've talked (01:12:49) about this story publicly so I'm not (01:12:50) disclosing anything syia wouldn't want (01:12:52) me to disclose we have a podcast about (01:12:54) this but when she was pregnant with Ari (01:12:58) our oldest grandkid who's 12 um Sylvia (01:13:01) went to um into the conventional model (01:13:06) started getting prenatal care from an OB (01:13:08) and was really not feeling like she was (01:13:11) being hurt and cared for the way she (01:13:13) wanted to so then she switched to a (01:13:16) birthing center model but there were (01:13:18) some issues that came up with (01:13:20) misinterpretation of reading her lab (01:13:22) work that the midwives because they were (01:13:25) certified nurse midwives in a mo (01:13:27) birthing center associated with a (01:13:29) hospital were then obligated to deal (01:13:31) with in a certain way so she came to me (01:13:33) and asked me what I thought and it was (01:13:35) actually really funny because I could (01:13:38) tell she was like this is my (01:13:40) mother-in-law and yes she's a yell (01:13:42) trained MD and she's a family doctor (01:13:44) with obstetrics but she's still kind of (01:13:45) hippie in alternative right like yes (01:13:47) this is the nice suit but I'm like super (01:13:49) hippie and alternative as well as the (01:13:52) New Yorker who likes to put it on and so (01:13:55) she said um well what do you think and I (01:14:00) could tell she was like trusting me but (01:14:03) still needing more validation so I said (01:14:05) well let me email so and so and when I (01:14:08) said so and so she was like this is one (01:14:11) of the world's leading Maternal Fetal (01:14:12) Medicine Specialists and she said you (01:14:14) can email so and so and I said his first (01:14:16) name and she said and you know him by (01:14:18) first name I'm like he was my adviser on (01:14:20) my senior thesis in medical school like (01:14:22) he's asked me to consult for something (01:14:23) for his company like yeah so I emailed (01:14:26) him the information and it was about (01:14:28) some thyroid labs in her pregnancy and (01:14:31) he emailed me back within the hour and (01:14:33) she was like all I don't even care what (01:14:34) the answer is but she kind of needed (01:14:36) that validation but once she had it that (01:14:39) I (01:14:40) was that I fit her like safety model of (01:14:44) information she relaxed and she had this (01:14:47) these beautiful home births with both my (01:14:49) grandbabies so yeah I got to Midwife (01:14:51) them and they love to say you held us (01:14:55) for first after Mom in her belly and (01:14:58) they're 12 and N that's so sweet yeah (01:15:02) what a and at home at home yeah at home (01:15:05) in like a water birth or so with her (01:15:07) first baby she did water in labor and (01:15:10) then bursted on land as I say and um (01:15:15) with the second baby she did land birth (01:15:18) but she did hipno birthing and she loved (01:15:22) it she like I have pictures of her like (01:15:23) in lwe like that (01:15:26) and um yeah so she's an amazing powerful (01:15:30) incredible human being and um Co captain (01:15:34) of a boat with my son they live on a (01:15:36) boat now wow and they're two kids (01:15:38) they've just done a half their Pacific (01:15:41) Crossing and they're it's a whole story (01:15:43) he created a healthc care company for um (01:15:47) communities that just don't have access (01:15:49) and um is now working from a boat (01:15:52) homeschooling his kids wow so yeah so (01:15:56) beautiful and I've Midwife one of my (01:15:57) nephews one of my other nephews had his (01:16:00) kids at home so and I I actually um was (01:16:04) the first person to hold my godson but (01:16:06) he was born by C-section and sometimes (01:16:08) it's just needed and I was there with (01:16:09) her was not a planned home birth it was (01:16:11) a planned Hospital birth and it was just (01:16:12) a necess an important and necessary (01:16:16) cesarian I had two C-sections and I (01:16:19) think even just hearing you say that it (01:16:21) gives you just this feeling of like (01:16:23) listen you know you do the best that you (01:16:26) can and it's such a vulnerable place to (01:16:29) be in when you're being told baby's (01:16:32) heart rate's dropping like this is (01:16:34) getting severe it's scary it's (01:16:37) terrifying it's terrifying I me it's (01:16:39) terrifying on my side of it as a (01:16:41) physician because I know like you don't (01:16:43) want to go to sleep at night with a loss (01:16:46) like that happening like you we live (01:16:48) that stuff too we want the best outcomes (01:16:51) and then there's all the pressure of (01:16:52) like okay that Heart tone dropped a (01:16:55) little bit (01:16:56) let's just do the C-section um there's a (01:16:58) lot of pressure on Physicians to do that (01:17:00) too and so it's a very complicated (01:17:03) moment and I think we do and there's no (01:17:06) way to know right you know most babies (01:17:09) when the heart tones drop on the monitor (01:17:10) babies actually turned out to be fine (01:17:12) like 90% or more turned out to be fine (01:17:15) but you'd rather be second guessing on (01:17:17) the side of caution than second guessing (01:17:19) on the side of loss and that makes it (01:17:21) really tricky so it's hard right like (01:17:23) there's all this information about the (01:17:24) rising mortality rates and the overuse (01:17:27) of C-section and we know all these (01:17:28) things and then at the end of the day (01:17:31) like I have this program called Mama (01:17:32) pathway online and I teach this whole (01:17:35) like I keep coming back to surrender and (01:17:38) flow and look you know you have kids we (01:17:41) can do all the things we can have the (01:17:43) home birth the breastfeeding the family (01:17:45) bed you can do the C-section the perfect (01:17:47) everything and your kid may still end up (01:17:49) with eczema right or allergies or (01:17:52) depression as a teenager or who like a (01:17:55) tons of like who knows like what ADHD (01:17:58) right any of the things and so I think (01:18:00) we do what we can to be responsible to (01:18:05) live our best life to make the best (01:18:07) choices and then we sort of have to live (01:18:10) our lives rising to the occasions that (01:18:13) happen with grace too right absolutely I (01:18:16) remember feeling like I failed I was so (01:18:20) depressed yeah I I'm sorry it's okay I (01:18:24) don't feel that (01:18:25) anymore because well I thought I wasn't (01:18:29) strong enough like I was like I thought (01:18:31) I'm so strong what like am I just not (01:18:34) able to do this like I I just felt like (01:18:37) I couldn't figur like I was like I it's (01:18:39) just I really struggled (01:18:42) but it's important I think for anyone to (01:18:46) just really take in exactly what you (01:18:49) said like this is all it is we just keep (01:18:54) living (01:18:57) yeah the surrender to it all and it's (01:18:59) the same as I was talking about the (01:19:00) evolutionary mismatch I mean like we (01:19:03) don't live the way women lived a 100 (01:19:06) years ago and we're expecting ourselves (01:19:08) to birth in environments that are not (01:19:13) conducive to physiologic birth which is (01:19:15) why midwives have such greatly different (01:19:18) outcomes which is why in countries where (01:19:20) birth is normalized as a healthy life (01:19:23) experience women don't have the same (01:19:26) level of pressures but also (01:19:28) complications that we're just sort of (01:19:31) baked into here on some level and it's (01:19:34) you know that's why again giving (01:19:35) ourselves Grace and if your babies were (01:19:37) in distress I mean you did the best (01:19:40) thing I always say to my patients to (01:19:42) people I know my people who my te my (01:19:44) students everyone it's like if natural (01:19:48) if you will worked all the time we'd (01:19:51) still be like all having our babies in (01:19:54) the FI yeld we'd all be only having (01:19:57) herbs but we'd also be dying of (01:19:59) catastrophic infections and catastrophic (01:20:01) injuries there is a reason that we also (01:20:04) evolved to have antibiotics and hormone (01:20:09) therapies it's just un cesarians all the (01:20:12) things it's just unfortunate that it's (01:20:15) very hard to sometimes decipher when we (01:20:18) do and don't need things because we know (01:20:20) that there's profit motive baked into (01:20:22) all of those things there are legalistic (01:20:24) issues she's baked into all of those (01:20:26) things we don't always know what to (01:20:28) trust and who to trust for the (01:20:30) alternative information if you will and (01:20:32) it's it's a lot it is you are I I just (01:20:37) admire you so much and feel like (01:20:40) everyone is going to walk away from (01:20:42) listening to this conversation just (01:20:45) feeling good and feeling okay you know (01:20:49) with the choices that they're making and (01:20:50) knowing that it may be what you need in (01:20:53) that moment and just reducing as much (01:20:56) shame and guilt and carrying the weight (01:20:58) of that energy with us into everything (01:21:02) and where shame and guilt coming from (01:21:03) like are we thinking other people are (01:21:06) looking at us like because if our (01:21:08) friends and Community are judging us for (01:21:10) doing the thing I mean I've had women (01:21:12) come up to me and say they got shamed in (01:21:15) an online natural birth Community (01:21:17) because they had a C-section or an (01:21:18) epidural yeah I was going to say it's (01:21:21) the grou people in those yeah yeah or (01:21:24) like you do need an anti-depressant or (01:21:26) you do need hormone therapy and I in my (01:21:29) practice I always go to the least inter (01:21:31) like I don't prescribe Pharmaceuticals (01:21:33) that often I will when they're needed (01:21:35) there's so much we can do between here (01:21:37) and there but the shame and the blame (01:21:39) and the self- Judgment all of us like (01:21:42) myself included how do we just let go of (01:21:44) that and love ourselves where we are (01:21:47) like when does that start you know yes (01:21:49) well that's the beauty of the work that (01:21:50) you do I feel like it just spreads like (01:21:54) in every message (01:21:55) in every program can you share with (01:21:57) everyone where they can find (01:22:00) you purchase all of your books and your (01:22:04) book to come and just I think the (01:22:08) programs like people are going to be (01:22:10) very interested okay great yes so (01:22:12) there's the places to find me are on (01:22:14) Instagram that is the that is the social (01:22:17) platform that I have the most bandwidth (01:22:19) for so I am really in there with t like (01:22:22) oh I can't keep up with all of it so (01:22:24) Instagram is me come hang out with me (01:22:26) there and that content if you're a (01:22:27) Facebook lover it's shared on content (01:22:29) and other places but Instagram is where (01:22:30) I'm hanging out and the comments and the (01:22:32) DMS and all the things and it's Dr Via (01:22:34) Dr Via yeah ROM and um then my website I (01:22:38) mean there's so much free information (01:22:40) articles (01:22:42) podcast yeah there's tons like I really (01:22:45) am about democratizing information and (01:22:47) just helping you to find what you need (01:22:50) so it's not like check out this article (01:22:52) and I'm going to give you a breadcrumb (01:22:54) but then you have to buy all these (01:22:55) things it's like I have had women who (01:22:56) have gotten pregnant after years of (01:22:58) struggling with fertility challenges (01:23:00) just with my PCOS blog you know it's (01:23:03) like the information is there um my (01:23:06) books hormone intelligence was the (01:23:08) instant Neti bestseller you mentioned (01:23:10) and that book is like end to end for any (01:23:12) woman between starting menstration and (01:23:14) per menopause uh adrenal thyroid (01:23:17) Revolution which isn't my favorite title (01:23:19) but um that book you do that book is for (01:23:23) everything overwhelm burn now whether (01:23:25) you have an adrenal or thyroid problem (01:23:27) or not but if you think you do or you do (01:23:30) or you're one of the one in eight women (01:23:31) who actually has a thyroid problem or (01:23:33) you're not sure both of those books are (01:23:35) like here's how to assess your symptoms (01:23:38) because I know like you can go s 10 (01:23:40) years with endometriosis and not get a (01:23:42) diagnosis five years with an autoimmune (01:23:44) condition and not get a diagnosis so (01:23:46) those books have the checklist you need (01:23:48) to kind of like do I need to get medical (01:23:50) help what labs do I need for all the (01:23:53) different things and then end to endend (01:23:54) protocol calls it's like it's what I (01:23:56) created that kind of takes as much as (01:23:58) possible what I do in my practice and (01:24:00) translates it into books my programs my (01:24:03) two biggest programs I have a (01:24:05) practitioner program the women's (01:24:07) integrative functional medicine (01:24:09) certification and that is like a (01:24:12) graduate degree in women's health it's (01:24:14) the only program like that and it's (01:24:17) everything from autoimmune to metabolism (01:24:20) root cause medicine gut health all the (01:24:23) things and that you do need to be (01:24:24) practitioner of someone you a health (01:24:26) coach acupunctur mental health provider (01:24:28) MD CNM whatever um for that program then (01:24:32) I have a course how long is that that is (01:24:34) a 16-month program it's 10 months (01:24:36) intensive working with me it's very (01:24:38) doable and it has all kinds of (01:24:40) continuing education continuing medical (01:24:43) health coach nutrition Rd it's an (01:24:47) amazing program I love that program and (01:24:50) it's only you can register between March (01:24:54) and SE September and then the cohort (01:24:56) starts together herbal medicine for (01:24:58) women is really for any practitioner but (01:25:01) also any woman who wants a very deep (01:25:04) dive into herbal medicine and natural (01:25:07) medicine for Reproductive health so (01:25:09) menstruation through menopause we don't (01:25:12) go into all of like autoimmune disease (01:25:15) and common illnesses it's really (01:25:18) everything PCOS hormones enomis Etc and (01:25:21) those are great complimentary courses (01:25:23) then I have the mama paath way which is (01:25:25) a community membership experience and (01:25:27) it's all things preconception through (01:25:31) postpartum and early motherhood for (01:25:33) mamas and it's these different programs (01:25:35) and then with it this beautiful online (01:25:37) community love and then I have some (01:25:40) other courses that we periodically (01:25:42) launch like my 28 day got reset and (01:25:44) there's more coming and then the big (01:25:47) book reveal is a menopause book it won't (01:25:49) be out until spring of 2026 but I'm (01:25:52) working on that now so really exciting (01:25:55) and then my practice I see patients too (01:25:57) so and people can find you on your (01:25:59) website for that yes they can find me on (01:26:00) my website and that's just a tele (01:26:02) medicine um experience although we're (01:26:04) building out some group clinical (01:26:06) experiences for 2025 which I'm really (01:26:09) excited about so like menopause group (01:26:11) fertility group so people can do on you (01:26:13) know Journeys together which I think (01:26:15) Community is so important in these (01:26:18) different Journeys in our life very very (01:26:21) Community is everything connecting with (01:26:23) the like-minded (01:26:27) yeah getting tips and ideas of what (01:26:29) works for other (01:26:31) women you make the world a better place (01:26:33) and your energy can I just say when you (01:26:35) walked into the office even Dylan came (01:26:37) over she's like her energy it's so (01:26:40) beautiful and pure and uplifting and it (01:26:43) just you feel the purity of your soul (01:26:46) and like your mission in life is to (01:26:49) really just help people it is I actually (01:26:51) wake up and think every time I try to (01:26:53) write I try to remind myself look my (01:26:55) mind goes on the spin too like oh like I (01:26:57) don't have enough of this I don't have (01:26:58) enough Instagram I gotta do this I gotta (01:27:00) grow more but then when I get down to it (01:27:02) I have this sort of inner Mantra of like (01:27:06) can I create things that at the other (01:27:08) end a woman is saying this made my life (01:27:10) better this made me feel better this (01:27:12) made me feel less alone this brought me (01:27:13) some joy and Delight this brought me (01:27:15) some hope so that is actually how we try (01:27:18) to create well you are doing that that's (01:27:21) how so many of us I feel you so much I'm (01:27:25) so happy to have you here thank you