The Psychology of the Carnivorous Mother (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:00) The worst evil takes the greatest good (00:00:04) and perverts it to the worst possible (00:00:07) end. And that's what we see happening (00:00:10) here. The old woman had only pretended (00:00:13) to be kind. (00:00:15) The old woman had only pretended to be (00:00:17) so kind. (00:00:19) She was in reality a wicked witch who (00:00:22) lay in wait for children and had only (00:00:24) built the little house of bread in order (00:00:26) to entice them there. (00:00:29) When a child fell into her power, she (00:00:31) killed it, cooked it, and ate it, and (00:00:34) that was a feast day for her. Witches (00:00:36) have red eyes and cannot see far, but (00:00:38) they have a keen scent like the beasts (00:00:40) and are aware when human beings draw (00:00:42) near. When Hansel and Gretle came into (00:00:44) her neighborhood, she laughed (00:00:46) maliciously and said mockingly, "I have (00:00:48) them. They will not escape me again." (00:00:51) Now there's an another motif here apart (00:00:55) from the (00:00:59) pathology of glorious (00:01:03) maternal compassionate virtue signaling (00:01:07) masking carnivorous or cannibalistic (00:01:11) urges and that is (00:01:14) the danger of (00:01:17) maternal hypersolicitude. (00:01:20) Right? So, (00:01:22) human beings have the longest (00:01:24) developmental (00:01:27) period of any creature (00:01:30) and (00:01:31) it can last almost two decades, let's (00:01:34) say. And (00:01:37) what that means is that a force that (00:01:40) powerful can easily go wrong. (00:01:44) A mother shouldn't be so kind. (00:01:49) She should take care of her children but (00:01:52) not offer them too much. Too much being (00:01:56) a convenient house in the midst of (00:02:00) danger. But not only a house, a house (00:02:03) literally made out of candy and cake. (00:02:07) The mother who offers her children too (00:02:09) much, who does everything for them, who (00:02:13) goes above and beyond the call of duty (00:02:16) to announce to the world her virtuous (00:02:19) compassion as the highest possible moral (00:02:21) virtue is also the helic hovering (00:02:25) helicopter mother who ends up devouring (00:02:29) her own children. (00:02:32) So if it looks and sounds too good to be (00:02:36) true, there's some real possibility that (00:02:39) it is. (00:02:41) I remember my mother told me once, my (00:02:43) mother, she died very recently, last (00:02:46) year. She's a very agreeable person and (00:02:49) a compassionate person, but she had a (00:02:52) spine and and she didn't (00:02:56) overindulge her children or overprotect (00:02:59) them. And I left home when I was about (00:03:02) 16. I'd been having some friction with (00:03:04) my father, which was some him and some (00:03:09) me, perhaps even mostly me. And and then (00:03:14) once I left and went to college, our (00:03:17) relationship renormalized and maintained (00:03:20) itself quite positively from that time (00:03:23) forward. My mom said to me (00:03:27) after I had returned from college when (00:03:29) we were talking about having left and (00:03:31) the fact that things had settled up, she (00:03:33) said, 'You know, and and the conflict (00:03:36) that accompanied my leaving, she said, (00:03:38) you know, if it was too good at home, (00:03:39) you'd never leave. And I thought that (00:03:42) was that was my mother in a nutshell (00:03:44) because she was a very pleasant person (00:03:45) and a very caring person and hospitable. (00:03:48) But she had enough sense to know that a (00:03:51) little bit of pushing her children out (00:03:53) of the nest was actually a very positive (00:03:55) thing. And this evil witch is all too (00:03:59) good and announcing that continually. (00:04:03) Early in the morning before the children (00:04:04) were awake, she was already up. And when (00:04:06) she saw both of them sleeping and (00:04:08) looking so pretty, with their plump red (00:04:10) cheeks, she muttered to herself, "That (00:04:12) will be a dainty mouthful." Then she (00:04:15) seized Hansel with her shriveled hand, (00:04:17) carried him into a little stable, and (00:04:19) shut him in behind a graded door. He (00:04:22) might scream as he liked, that was of no (00:04:24) use. Then she went to Gretle, shook her (00:04:26) till she awoke, and cried, "Get up, lazy (00:04:29) thing. Fetch some water, and cook (00:04:31) something good for thy brother. He's in (00:04:33) the stable outside and is to be made (00:04:35) fat. And so that's an interesting twist (00:04:39) in the story, too, because (00:04:42) mothers obviously feed their children (00:04:44) and that's part of maternal behavior. (00:04:47) But (00:04:48) to overfeed a child is again to make a (00:04:53) pathology of care, right? to make a show (00:04:58) of that maternal solicitude at the cost (00:05:01) of the child's health and well-being. (00:05:04) And so that's the meaning of the motif (00:05:06) that she's fattening up (00:05:09) her ursat son, her temporary son, for no (00:05:14) other reason than to devour him. (00:05:17) He is in the stable outside and is to be (00:05:19) made fat. When he is fat, I will eat (00:05:22) him." Gretle began to weep bitterly, but (00:05:24) it was all in vain. She was forced to do (00:05:26) what the wicked witch ordered her. And (00:05:28) now the best food was cooked for poor (00:05:31) Hansel, but Gretle got nothing but (00:05:33) crabshells. (00:05:34) Every morning the woman crept to the (00:05:36) little stable and cried, "Hansel, (00:05:37) stretch out thy finger that I may feel (00:05:39) if thou wilt soon be fat." Hansel, (00:05:42) however, stretched out a little bone to (00:05:44) her, and the old woman, who had dim (00:05:46) eyes, could not see it, and thought it (00:05:47) was Hansel's finger, and was astonished (00:05:49) that there was no way of fattening him. (00:05:51) Well, that's another indication of (00:05:53) Hansel's (00:05:55) self-sufficiency. (00:05:56) He's (00:05:58) attentive enough and intelligent enough (00:06:02) to notice what the old woman is up to (00:06:06) quite clearly not to deceive himself (00:06:08) about her intent. And in consequence of (00:06:11) that careful attentiveness and refusal (00:06:14) to deceive himself, he plays a trick on (00:06:17) her and (00:06:19) indicates to her that he is by no means (00:06:23) optimally positioned to serve as a meal. (00:06:26) When four weeks had gone by and Hansel (00:06:28) still continued thin, she was seized (00:06:30) with impatience and would not wait any (00:06:33) longer. "Hola, Gretle," she cried to the (00:06:36) girl. "Be active and bring some water. (00:06:38) Let Hansel be fat or lean. Tomorrow I (00:06:40) will kill him and cook him. Ah, how the (00:06:44) poor little sister did lament when she (00:06:46) had to fetch the water, and how her (00:06:48) tears did flow down over her cheeks. (00:06:50) Again, an indication that she really (00:06:52) loved her brother. A contrary attitude (00:06:55) might be that she was quite relieved (00:06:57) that it was Hansel who was serving as (00:06:59) main course rather than her. "Dear God, (00:07:03) do help us," she cried. If the wild (00:07:07) beasts in the forests had but devoured (00:07:10) us, we should at any rate have died (00:07:14) together. That's hammering home that (00:07:16) motif of union in the face of adversity. (00:07:21) Just keep thy noise to thyself, said the (00:07:23) old woman. All that won't help thee at (00:07:25) all. Early in the morning, Gretle had to (00:07:28) go out and hang up the cauldron with the (00:07:30) water and light the fire. We will bake (00:07:32) first, said the old woman. I have (00:07:34) already heated the oven and kneaded the (00:07:35) dough. She pushed poor Gretle out to the (00:07:38) oven from which flames of fire were (00:07:41) already darting. Creep in, said the (00:07:44) witch. See if it is properly heated so (00:07:46) that we can shut the bread in. And when (00:07:49) once Gretle was inside, she intended to (00:07:52) shut the oven and let her bake in there. (00:07:54) Then she would eat her, too. But Gretle (00:07:58) also being an awake child properly taken (00:08:00) care of, let's say, by her brother, (00:08:03) unwilling to deceive herself about the (00:08:05) motivation of the woman who's just too (00:08:07) good to be true. (00:08:09) But Gretle saw what she had in her mind (00:08:11) and said, "I do not know how I am to do (00:08:13) it. How do you get in?" "Silly goose," (00:08:16) said the old woman. "The door is big (00:08:18) enough. Look, I can get in myself." And (00:08:21) she crept up and thrust her head into (00:08:24) the oven. Then Gretle, who's an (00:08:26) enterprising young woman, gave her a (00:08:28) push that drove her far into it and shut (00:08:30) the iron door and fastened the bolt. Oh. (00:08:33) Then she began to howl quite horribly, (00:08:35) but Gretle ran away, and the godless (00:08:37) witch was miserably burnt to death. So (00:08:41) Hansel and Gretle are awake enough to (00:08:44) defend themselves against the evil (00:08:47) machinations of the camouflaged (00:08:50) witch. The witch camouflaged in virtue. (00:08:54) And you know, one of the things Carl (00:08:56) Jung said about pathological families (00:08:58) was that (00:09:01) children are also often offered an easy (00:09:04) way out by an oversolicitous parent, for (00:09:08) example, but that they don't necessarily (00:09:11) have to take the bait. So you could (00:09:13) imagine a lonely mother with a child who (00:09:17) has oh maybe a cold and the mother is (00:09:22) hoping that the child could stay home (00:09:25) from school so that she has company and (00:09:29) she suggests to the child verbally and (00:09:33) non-verbally that his or her state of (00:09:38) physical health is sufficiently (00:09:42) compromised. So that staying home from (00:09:44) school might be justifiable. And the (00:09:47) child knows full well that (00:09:50) he's not particularly sick, but takes (00:09:53) the bait and then enters into a (00:09:57) pathological covenant with the mother (00:10:00) such that he exaggerates his proclivity (00:10:05) for illness and brings illness onto (00:10:08) himself in so doing. and she benefits (00:10:11) from the fact that she can make her (00:10:13) maternal solicitude (00:10:16) manifest publicly benefit from that (00:10:18) display of virtue and also not have to (00:10:21) be alone. And so Hansel and Gretle are (00:10:25) not playing games of that sort. They're (00:10:28) maybe because they're bonded together (00:10:30) and taking care of each other. Maybe (00:10:32) because they're oriented properly, (00:10:34) they're capable of fending for (00:10:36) themselves and taking action when (00:10:39) necessary and not falling prey to the (00:10:44) machinations of the over (00:10:49) demonstrative (00:10:52) mother figure who in truth wants to (00:10:55) devour them. (00:10:57) Children have a moral responsibility (00:10:59) too, you know. I mean and and that's a (00:11:01) tricky thing to manage but (00:11:04) it takes two to tango and that doesn't (00:11:06) mean I'm blaming the child in situations (00:11:08) where the family becomes pathological. (00:11:10) You know I I had people in my clinical (00:11:13) practice who were offered pathological (00:11:16) invitations let's say by their parents (00:11:19) and they resisted instead of falling (00:11:21) prey to them and managed to free (00:11:24) themselves from the situation. And so, (00:11:27) you know, everybody has their destiny (00:11:29) and that includes children. And we make (00:11:32) our beds even when we're very young and (00:11:34) then are required to lie in them. (00:11:38) [Music]