Twin Stories (ft. My Brother) (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:00) real quick before the video starts I (00:00:01) have new merch I'm with a new company (00:00:03) now and we just released our first shirt (00:00:04) in beanie the Brody animate signature (00:00:06) look at how sexy it makes me and it'll (00:00:08) hold up after single wash who know this (00:00:10) stuff is super limited available for (00:00:11) only 2 weeks so get it quick Link in the (00:00:13) description video starting now you ever (00:00:16) give your friends like a visit from the (00:00:18) Tickle Monster cuz it's been a while (00:00:20) what what what I I didn't what you don't (00:00:23) do (00:00:25) that we got do a little intro okay uh (00:00:28) I'm joined with my uh (00:00:31) wow I don't hey guys today I'm going to (00:00:34) be talking about some silly stories with (00:00:36) the evil one take it away I have a lot (00:00:39) of stuff to say about this idiot you (00:00:41) look like me but a little ugly bro he's (00:00:43) got my face but I wear it better you (00:00:45) look like me but like someone took a (00:00:47) picture of me with an Android and then (00:00:49) upscaled it and it just looks a little (00:00:51) off why are you like this growing up me (00:00:55) and Brock always got gifts where like (00:00:57) our relatives would be like this is for (00:00:58) both of you and we both hated it but I (00:01:01) distinctly remember one Christmas we get (00:01:03) gifts from our parents they're big gifts (00:01:05) and it's to Brock and Brody and we're (00:01:07) like oh well whatever and there's (00:01:09) there's one big one and one small one (00:01:11) Brock's like I want to unwrap the big (00:01:12) one I was like whatever dude I'm the (00:01:14) better brother I'm nicer I'm better (00:01:16) looking I'll let him unwrap the bigger (00:01:17) present we both unwrap him at the same (00:01:19) time and Brock unwraps the Xbox and I (00:01:23) unwrap the connect and Brock was like (00:01:25) well the Xbox is mine and I was like no (00:01:29) that is no god dude and like what am I (00:01:32) going to do with the (00:01:33) connect I really wanted this one Nerf (00:01:36) gun and it was called a Rhino fire it (00:01:38) was like a turret and uh my birthday (00:01:40) comes around and uh I see this huge (00:01:43) present and I was like it's got to be it (00:01:45) but the thing is it's labeled Brody so (00:01:48) like I open my gift I can't even (00:01:50) remember what it is cuz I didn't give a (00:01:52) it wasn't mine it was clearly Brody's (00:01:55) gift and I watched as Brody opened the (00:01:59) Rhino fire and I lost my mind like I was (00:02:03) not okay with that dude like I was like (00:02:05) are you (00:02:07) serious me and Brock we played hockey (00:02:09) starting at 5 years old stopped playing (00:02:12) like when we were like 15 we were always (00:02:13) very competitive with each other like (00:02:15) there was one time we were having a (00:02:16) scrimmage of practice and it was me (00:02:18) versus you and I just knew within my (00:02:21) heart like I had to put Brock in his (00:02:23) place dog I've never tried harder for (00:02:25) anything in my life I don't even (00:02:26) remember the game it's just a haze to me (00:02:28) now but I ended up like being beting You (00:02:30) by like one goal and then I just passed (00:02:33) out on the ice and the coach came over (00:02:35) he was like are you okay and I was like (00:02:38) I just remember you were kind of a goon (00:02:39) buddy there wasn't really anybody else (00:02:41) on our team that would like hurt people (00:02:42) and Brody was that guy like somebody hit (00:02:45) our goalie and broy just like punched (00:02:46) him in the face I don't know it sounds (00:02:48) bad and these are like 10-year-old kids (00:02:51) man remember when you went you were (00:02:53) obsessed with the cotton I Joe song for (00:02:54) like (00:02:55) years like like anytime there was a (00:02:58) silence Brock just filled it with cotton (00:03:00) Joe I at first it was ironic and then (00:03:02) eventually got to the point where like I (00:03:03) couldn't not do it there's a bunch of (00:03:06) things that I learned at work that I (00:03:08) carry into my normal life I I work in a (00:03:10) kitchen right so when we go around a (00:03:11) corner we're usually carrying something (00:03:13) so you always say Corner when you're (00:03:14) going around a corner and I do that at (00:03:15) school all the time the the other thing (00:03:18) that we do is when we walk behind (00:03:20) somebody we say behind you and I do that (00:03:23) in my daily life all the time the normal (00:03:26) people that do not work in a kitchen do (00:03:29) not like that when you're behind them (00:03:31) and you're just like behind (00:03:33) you it's so weird this video is (00:03:36) sponsored by World of Tanks can I just (00:03:38) get back to the in a minute if somehow (00:03:40) you don't know already World of Tanks is (00:03:41) a massive online multiplayer game (00:03:43) available for PC console and mobile if (00:03:45) you've ever wanted to obliterate people (00:03:46) and historically accurate and insanely (00:03:48) fun tanks please invite me but for now (00:03:50) this game will do with a huge arsenal of (00:03:52) Tanks there's a tank for every play (00:03:53) style sneaky agile guns blazing like an (00:03:56) idiot that one's me no matter how you (00:03:58) play there's a tank for you World of (00:03:59) Tanks is free to play with millions of (00:04:01) players waiting for you to join them so (00:04:02) do it click the link in the description (00:04:04) and use the code combat using this code (00:04:06) gets you a free Cromwell B tank 250,000 (00:04:09) credits 7 Days of Premium access and (00:04:11) three tier six rental tanks for 10 (00:04:12) battles each that's so much stuff this (00:04:15) code is only for new players who (00:04:16) register through the wargaming portal so (00:04:18) go do that now now look me in the eye (00:04:20) hey there I'd really appreciate if you (00:04:23) download this game just for little only (00:04:24) me I think you'd like (00:04:27) it okay I'll I'll download it that's (00:04:30) code combat all caps through the link in (00:04:32) the description thank you again the (00:04:33) world of tanks and back to the video so (00:04:35) me and my girlfriend we're going on a (00:04:37) road trip I'm getting a little tired so (00:04:39) we pull over I I let her drive and uh we (00:04:42) turn around I'm just like checking my (00:04:43) phone as we're coming up on this bridge (00:04:45) I I see the bump that I'd hit earlier (00:04:47) and it's like it's pretty significant (00:04:49) I'm like she sees that she's going to (00:04:50) slow down it'll be fine I keep looking (00:04:52) at my phone we're not slowing down and (00:04:54) by the time I look up it's just too late (00:04:57) like by by by the time that I'm like (00:05:00) maybe maybe you should and then Bonk I (00:05:03) was like holy we got to we got to take (00:05:05) her easy like and I look beside me and (00:05:07) my hubcap is flying down the highway (00:05:11) beside me and I was like oh my God my (00:05:14) hubcap pull over and I had to run out of (00:05:17) the car into the ditch to grab my hubc (00:05:19) and it was still rolling when I got out (00:05:20) of the car it came right to me you know (00:05:23) when you're a kid you have no perception (00:05:25) of money at all yeah dude I got 50 bucks (00:05:28) for my birthday one time (00:05:31) I got 50 bucks and I was like Mom Dad I (00:05:34) want a Chihuahua and the reason you (00:05:36) thought that I remember is because like (00:05:39) they're a small dog yeah was like they (00:05:42) can't cost that much it's just this (00:05:44) little thing dude it's like little guy (00:05:47) you want to talk about your diploma (00:05:50) exam yeah all right we can talk about (00:05:52) that so in your senior year you take a (00:05:54) final exam and it's a very very (00:05:57) important exam where we live I decided (00:05:59) to start off off by giving my boy a (00:06:01) coffee when I walked into the classroom (00:06:03) I just sat down set my coffee down our (00:06:06) test started I was feeling good I'm (00:06:08) typing away I reach over like I run my (00:06:11) computer grab my dictionary I pull my (00:06:13) dictionary towards me and my whole (00:06:15) Coffey slides off the desk and smashes (00:06:18) onto the floor I I had not taken a (00:06:22) single sip of that venty Americano all (00:06:26) 20 oz of that coffee is all over the (00:06:29) floor girl that's sitting beside me it's (00:06:31) like she had to like lift her shoe up (00:06:33) and she like looks at me and she's (00:06:36) like and I was like I don't know what to (00:06:39) do like the instructor she's like it's (00:06:41) okay I'll handle that and I was like (00:06:43) should I grab something to like clean it (00:06:44) up and she's like no we got this we got (00:06:46) this and then they have to like move (00:06:48) some of us and Shuffle the desk around (00:06:50) the get of the coffee and they bring it (00:06:52) a mop bucket and then janitor and the (00:06:55) instructor are there cleaning up my mess (00:06:58) while I'm typing my essay and I'm like I (00:07:01) could literally not get out of here (00:07:02) faster and I was the first person to (00:07:05) leave the room when when I went back to (00:07:07) write my uh next final my English (00:07:09) teacher sees me and she's like oh I see (00:07:12) you brought a Gatorade today maybe keep (00:07:14) the lid on it I want to talk about your (00:07:17) snarls that you do but I know you I know (00:07:19) you won't put it in the video well go (00:07:22) for it go for it little buddy all right (00:07:24) you know SP whatever okay well I don't (00:07:27) know what it is about you buddy but for (00:07:28) some reason there's always something in (00:07:31) your throat and broy always has to (00:07:33) freaking clear his throat and it's so (00:07:35) loud and it's so aggressive it's (00:07:37) [Music] (00:07:39) like it's like it's like it sounds like (00:07:41) a zomb it sounds like a walker bro like (00:07:43) the other day I was just like walking in (00:07:45) Brock and I was like hey do you need (00:07:47) chapstick and you were like yeah and I (00:07:49) was like that sucks dude that was (00:07:51) terrible I just worked an 8 hour shift (00:07:53) and my lips we're so chapped and he's (00:07:55) like you need chapstick I was like yeah (00:07:57) I do you never you never realize your (00:08:00) lips are chapped until someone asks you (00:08:02) and then just leave them hanging that (00:08:04) reminds me of uh at work yesterday my (00:08:06) cooworker Levi whenever even when we're (00:08:08) busy honestly like he just like starts (00:08:10) kicking at people and now it's a thing (00:08:12) in our kitchen it it's contagious and (00:08:14) it's one of it's another one of those (00:08:16) things that I do at work that I've (00:08:17) carried over to my daily life and I (00:08:19) started doing it to to one of my friends (00:08:21) at school today and he was like what are (00:08:22) you doing and I was like that's just a (00:08:26) warning you did the Brody which is just (00:08:28) I just like to lie to people and then (00:08:30) fully commit to it and then just like be (00:08:32) like no I'm just (00:08:34) kidding but like you do that to me so (00:08:36) much that when the queen died bro bursts (00:08:39) into my room and goes The Queen Is Dead (00:08:43) and in the most dramatic voice ever I (00:08:46) still find it funny to this day and uh I (00:08:49) I like Google it and I was like that's (00:08:51) like the first time you've ever told me (00:08:52) the truth about a celebrity like do you (00:08:55) mind stop stop hitting me stop it I'm (00:08:59) just going to be completely honestly I (00:09:00) know you're sensitive about this but (00:09:01) Brock has a wicked underbite (00:09:04) and it's like you ever seen bubbles in (00:09:07) trailer park boys like you know when he (00:09:09) gets angry and he sticks on his chin (00:09:11) it's like that (00:09:14) [Music]