Knock-Knock Jokes Compilation by ECX (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:00) No. Knock knock. (00:00:04) >> Knock knock jokes. I can do this all (00:00:07) day. Crabs. (00:00:08) >> Knock knock. Oh boy. Who's there? (00:00:12) >> Jimmy. Jimmy who? (00:00:14) >> Jimmy. Back my formula. Plankton. (00:00:19) >> Well, that's stupid. But how is it (00:00:21) torture? (00:00:21) >> Request for funny activated. Loading (00:00:24) joke. (00:00:25) >> You know jokes. (00:00:26) >> Knock-knock. (00:00:26) >> Who's there? (00:00:27) >> Botany. (00:00:28) >> Botany who? (00:00:29) >> Botany. good toilets lately. (00:00:31) >> I get it. (00:00:32) >> You get started with this drywall and (00:00:33) I'm going to start pulling out those old (00:00:35) floorboards in the kitchen. Hey, Brian. (00:00:37) Knock knock. (00:00:38) >> Who's there? (00:00:39) >> Two friends building a house together. (00:00:43) >> Start the joke. (00:00:44) >> Um, knock. (00:00:46) >> Who's there? (00:00:47) >> I don't know. (00:00:48) >> Did I hear lettuce? (00:00:49) >> But not for me. You didn't. (00:00:51) >> Lettuce who? (00:00:52) >> I don't know. (00:00:56) >> Please don't go. Oh, I'm going to miss (00:00:59) you. (00:01:00) >> Oh, my eyes are wet. (00:01:01) >> Hey, knock knock. (00:01:02) >> Who's there? My broken heart. (00:01:06) >> Knock knock. (00:01:10) >> You're supposed to say, "Who's there?" (00:01:13) This is the most basic of jokes. (00:01:17) >> Knock-k knockock jokes. Hey, Squid. (00:01:20) Knock knock. (00:01:21) >> Who's there? (00:01:23) >> I am Bob. (00:01:25) [Music] (00:01:27) I sure hope I can't. Knock-knock. (00:01:30) >> Who is there? (00:01:31) >> Nobody. Because the girl I love is about (00:01:33) to be eaten by a plate because nobody (00:01:35) takes me seriously. (00:01:37) >> Hey, that is not funny. (00:01:40) >> Knock knock. Who's there? Ivon. Ivon. (00:01:45) Who? Ivon to soak your blood. Please (00:01:48) don't touch Edwin. (00:01:53) Oh, (00:01:54) >> knock. (00:01:55) >> Who's there? Patrick. (00:01:57) >> Patrick who? (00:02:00) >> Me? Patrick. (00:02:03) >> Here we go. Knock knock. (00:02:06) >> Who's there? (00:02:07) >> Buddha. (00:02:08) >> Buddha who? (00:02:09) >> Buddha. The spread for remote. (00:02:14) >> Great. (00:02:14) >> Knock knock. (00:02:16) >> She said who's there? (00:02:17) >> Diarrhea. (00:02:19) Suicide. (00:02:24) >> Did she say diarrhea? Who? Uh, no. No, (00:02:27) she didn't say diarrhea. Who? She (00:02:30) didn't. (00:02:32) >> You want to hear something funny? (00:02:34) >> No. You're the jokester part of Cyborg. (00:02:36) Well, I've got a joke. Knock-k knockock. (00:02:39) >> Who's there? (00:02:40) >> Not you. (00:02:42) >> Knock knock. (00:02:43) >> Who's there? (00:02:44) >> Tooth. (00:02:45) >> Who? (00:02:45) >> Tooth or dare? (00:02:51) >> Yep. I'm a genius. (00:02:53) >> Knock knock. Who's there? (00:02:56) >> Radio. You're supposed to go radio who? (00:02:59) >> Radio who? (00:03:00) >> Radio not. Here I come. Zingo. (00:03:04) [Music] (00:03:05) >> Can I just say one thing? (00:03:08) >> What? (00:03:10) >> Knock knock. (00:03:11) >> Oh. Uh. Okay. Who's there? (00:03:15) >> Not me. (00:03:20) >> How about a joke? Knock knock. (00:03:22) >> Dad. (00:03:23) >> What? No. (00:03:25) >> Knock knock. (00:03:27) >> Who's there? Me. I need to borrow a (00:03:29) dollar. (00:03:30) >> Me? I need to borrow a dollar. Who? (00:03:32) Fine. If you're not going to help me, (00:03:34) I'll just go ask Lola. (00:03:37) >> Knock knock. (00:03:38) >> Who's there? (00:03:39) >> Little old lady. (00:03:39) >> Little old lady who? (00:03:41) >> I didn't know that you could yodel. (00:03:42) >> Little old lady who? (00:03:44) >> Knock knock. (00:03:45) >> Who's there? (00:03:46) >> Who? (00:03:46) >> Who? Who? Who? (00:03:47) >> I didn't know that you could yodel. (00:03:49) >> That doesn't even make sense. (00:03:51) Archer. (00:03:52) >> Or here's one. Knock knock. (00:04:00) >> Who's there? (00:04:01) >> Interrupting cow. (00:04:03) >> Interrupting c. Typical. Typical. (00:04:06) Typical. Typical. Typical. (00:04:09) Knock knock. Who's there? I have IBS. (00:04:12) It's extremely painful and inconvenient. (00:04:17) Why are you laughing? (00:04:20) Just to cheer you. (00:04:23) Knock knock. (00:04:24) >> Who's there? (00:04:27) >> Aren't you? (00:04:28) >> Aren't you who? (00:04:29) >> Aren't you supposed to get back to work? (00:04:31) All of you, you little idiots. Back to (00:04:33) work. (00:04:35) >> Commissioner Spoon. Oh, you're the (00:04:37) greatest. (00:04:40) >> Knock knock. (00:04:42) >> Who's there? (00:04:43) >> I'm a I'm a who? Yes. This little (00:04:48) Shangrila. This is mine. I have a joke (00:04:52) for you, brain. Knock knock. (00:04:55) >> Who's there? (00:04:56) >> Brain. (00:04:57) >> Brain. Who? (00:04:59) >> Exactly. (00:05:00) [Music] (00:05:02) >> Knock knock. (00:05:04) >> Who's there? (00:05:05) >> Max. (00:05:06) >> Max who? (00:05:07) >> Max wants to come in and go crazy. (00:05:12) >> Well, okay. Now, that's not really a (00:05:14) joke, is it? You see, because it makes (00:05:15) no sense. (00:05:16) >> Knock knock. Who's there? (00:05:20) >> Boo. (00:05:20) >> Boo. Who? (00:05:22) >> Don't cry because I'm going to get you (00:05:24) your laugh back. (00:05:25) >> Now, when I say knock, you say who's (00:05:28) there. (00:05:28) >> Okay. (00:05:29) >> Okay. Knock knock. (00:05:31) >> Who's there? (00:05:32) >> Boo. (00:05:33) >> That's not funny. (00:05:37) >> Bill. Knock knock. (00:05:39) >> Who's there? (00:05:40) >> Boo. (00:05:41) >> Boohoo. (00:05:42) >> Boohoo. Hank. (00:05:44) [Music] (00:05:47) >> Knock knock. Oh. Oh. Who's there? (00:05:51) >> Lea who? (00:05:52) >> Knock knock. Who's there? Juliet. Juliet (00:05:55) who? Juliet had so much pasta vazul. (00:05:58) Romeo doesn't want her anymore. (00:06:03) >> Oo. Tough crowd. (00:06:05) >> Hey Brian. Brian. What? Knock knock. Oh (00:06:08) come on. Knock knock. Who's there? Your (00:06:11) friends Stewie. And he's always going to (00:06:13) be there for you. (00:06:15) That's why we tell fart jokes. (00:06:17) Knock-knock. (00:06:18) >> Who's there? (00:06:20) [Laughter] (00:06:21) >> Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. (00:06:23) Orange. Who? Aren't you glad I didn't (00:06:25) say? Aren't you glad I didn't say Aren't (00:06:28) you glad I didn't say? Aren't you glad I (00:06:30) didn't say? (00:06:33) >> No, that didn't work either. (00:06:35) >> Knock knock. (00:06:35) >> Who's there? (00:06:36) >> Kenny. (00:06:37) >> Kenny who? (00:06:38) >> Kenny, open the door now. (00:06:42) >> Oh, hey, check this out. Knock-knock. (00:06:45) Who's there? (00:06:46) >> Ice cream. Ice cream. Who? Ice cream. (00:06:49) When people don't open a door for me. (00:06:56) Knock knock. Now you say who's there? (00:07:01) Police. Police. Who? Police. Say (00:07:06) something. (00:07:10) Knock knock. (00:07:12) You would say, "Who's there?" (00:07:17) >> You are there. (00:07:18) >> Knock-knock. (00:07:18) >> Who's there? (00:07:19) >> KGB. (00:07:20) >> KGB. (00:07:21) >> We were asking that question. (00:07:23) >> What the hell was that? (00:07:24) >> What are you doing? (00:07:24) >> What are you doing? (00:07:25) >> Hey. Hey. (00:07:27) [Music] (00:07:29) >> That was really fun. (00:07:30) >> Yeah, real fun. Knockk knockock. (00:07:32) >> Who's there? (00:07:33) >> What is tiny red and smashed all over? (00:07:35) >> What is tiny red and smashed all over? (00:07:36) Who? (00:07:36) >> I'll tell you in 5 seconds. (00:07:39) >> What are the seating arrangements? (00:07:41) Knock-k knockock. (00:07:42) >> Uh, who's there? Jumps right to home. (00:07:47) >> It's not even a joke. (00:07:49) >> Knock knock. Who's there? Our family is (00:07:52) an embarrassment. (00:07:54) >> That's not much of a joke. (00:07:56) >> Okay. (00:07:58) >> Knock knock. (00:07:59) >> Like, who's there? (00:08:00) >> Beats. (00:08:01) >> Beats. Who? (00:08:03) >> Beats me. (00:08:08) >> Knock knock. Who's there? (00:08:11) >> Hi, kids. (00:08:12) >> Hi, kids. Who? (00:08:14) >> Hi, Grandma. (00:08:15) >> Stop it. You're ruining the joke. (00:08:17) >> Knock knock. (00:08:18) >> I'm not going to say who's there because (00:08:20) someone on the floor is knocking. (00:08:21) >> Well, that's lame. You have to say who's (00:08:23) there. (00:08:23) >> Floor. (00:08:24) >> What? (00:08:25) >> That's who's there. (00:08:26) >> Yeah, but it's for you. (00:08:31) >> Hey, (00:08:33) knock. (00:08:37) You're supposed to say who's there. (00:08:39) Knock knock. (00:08:43) >> Evening, Joker. (00:08:46) >> You're supposed to say who's there. (00:08:54) >> Knock knock knock. (00:08:57) And you had to look that up? (00:09:00) [Applause] (00:09:04) >> Oh my god. Is this a joke? No, but this (00:09:07) is knock. (00:09:12) >> I couldn't hear you say who's there, so (00:09:14) I'm just going to go ahead and say (00:09:15) banana. (00:09:17) Knock-knock. Who's there? Roseller's (00:09:20) lunch. (00:09:21) Roskeller's lunch. Who? Roskeller's (00:09:25) lunch. Please don't take me. Okay. (00:09:32) Knock. Who's Who's there? Keep uh beat (00:09:36) me. I mean (00:09:38) at the door. (00:09:41) >> Where's the spider? Knock knock. Who's (00:09:43) there? I ate him. You bastard. (00:09:45) >> Let's just do it. Knock knock. (00:09:47) >> Who is there? (00:09:48) >> The interrupting cow. (00:09:50) >> The interrupting cow. (00:09:53) >> I mean, I'm funny. (00:09:55) >> Really? (00:09:56) >> Yeah. Knock knock. (00:09:57) >> Who's that? (00:09:58) >> He's ash. You get up in the shower with (00:10:02) the geese and knees taking it out that (00:10:05) son. (00:10:07) >> Knock knock. (00:10:09) >> Well, that's not a very funny joke, is (00:10:11) it? (00:10:12) >> Knock knock. Joke of the day. (00:10:16) >> Knock knock. Who's there? Ally. Ally (00:10:20) who? Alligator. (00:10:23) [Music] (00:10:31) [Music]