5 Tools to Mother from a Place of Peace w/@emwilss | Lila Rose Show (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:00) Hey everyone, we're doing something new (00:00:02) on the show. We have this special (00:00:03) four-part series on motherhood that we (00:00:06) have produced with some of my favorite (00:00:08) moms. And we're talking about all things (00:00:10) motherhood from spiritual aspects of how (00:00:13) we raise our kids with faith to (00:00:15) practical aspects of how we can love on (00:00:17) young children or older children to (00:00:18) really women finding the support that (00:00:21) they need to be the best mothers they (00:00:22) can be. And in today's episode, I'm (00:00:24) sitting down with my dear lovely friend (00:00:26) Emily Wilson Hussem, who is talking all (00:00:29) things motherhood herself. She just came (00:00:31) out with the book Sincerely Stoneheart, (00:00:32) which many of you guys bought and (00:00:34) absolutely loved. Enjoy. Share with a (00:00:36) friend. And stay tuned for part two, (00:00:38) three, and four to hear about the (00:00:40) upcoming guests for this series on (00:00:41) motherhood. Emily, it's so good to see (00:00:43) you again. (00:00:43) >> Thanks for having me right here in town. (00:00:45) It's such a joy always to hear your (00:00:47) heart, to see your heart, and hear your (00:00:48) love for all your listeners and all the (00:00:50) women who are listening to this on (00:00:51) hallow. Well, I feel very specially (00:00:53) connected to you because we both have (00:00:54) three three children. (00:00:55) >> Hopefully, we have more, Lord willing. (00:00:57) But you have two, your two oldest are (00:00:59) boys. My two oldest are boys. And then (00:01:01) around the same time, I think they're a (00:01:02) month apart. (00:01:03) >> Yep. Our girls are a month apart. (00:01:04) >> We have two little girlies now. So, (00:01:06) >> they're so sweet. (00:01:07) >> It's the best. (00:01:08) >> Yes, it totally is. And it's such a (00:01:10) gift. And that's what I think is so it (00:01:12) stands in such stark contrast to the (00:01:14) world that as you've shared about for so (00:01:16) many years is this idea that motherhood (00:01:18) is a burden. Right. This is what the (00:01:20) culture tells so many women. Motherhood (00:01:21) is a burden and it's a punishment and (00:01:23) it's going to ruin your life when the (00:01:25) God's truth is motherhood is this gift (00:01:27) and we get to receive it. Like what an (00:01:30) honor to receive such a beautiful (00:01:33) beautiful gift in our children, right? (00:01:35) And I think one of the most beautiful (00:01:37) parts of the gift is the purity of (00:01:40) children's love. Do you ever think about (00:01:41) how pure your children's love is for you (00:01:44) and how much they love just giving love (00:01:47) to you unhindered? It is. It is truly (00:01:50) the most blissful thing when you when (00:01:52) your little one is looking at you. Like (00:01:53) I think about Gigi and she's almost a (00:01:55) year, she's almost a year old, big blue (00:01:57) eyes, and in the morning she just looks (00:02:00) she just looks with love at me. She just (00:02:02) wants me. She wants her mom. She wants (00:02:04) to be held. She wants to be kissed and (00:02:06) cuddled. And there's nothing more pure (00:02:09) than that. Just that look of perfect (00:02:11) love from her. She's just total (00:02:13) dependent. She just wants her mom. And I (00:02:16) I have the privilege of getting to (00:02:17) respond to that. I mean, it is it is (00:02:18) mind-blowing when I take a step back and (00:02:20) think about it, (00:02:21) >> right? And to receive it, right? My (00:02:23) four-year-old, God, love him. He's (00:02:24) amazing. All day long, he tells me, "I (00:02:27) love you. I'm cooking." He says, "Hey, (00:02:28) mom." He calls me mom. "Hey, mom." I'm (00:02:30) like, "Yes." He says, "I love you." He (00:02:32) just jumps into my bed. "I love you, (00:02:34) Mom." I'm buckling his his his car seat. (00:02:36) "I love you, mom." And to receive that (00:02:40) level of pure love is just astonishing. (00:02:42) I don't deserve that kind of love. I'm a (00:02:44) broken, messy person. but to receive. (00:02:47) So, and so many of our relationships in (00:02:49) life are affected. They're affected by (00:02:51) our woundedness and they're affected by (00:02:53) our rejections and they're affected by (00:02:55) so many different things that we've been (00:02:56) through in our lives that really can (00:02:58) complicate our relationships, right? But (00:03:01) their love is not complicated. It is (00:03:03) unhindered by rejection. It is (00:03:06) unhindered by any, you know, sense of (00:03:08) brokenness that they felt in (00:03:09) relationships over the years because (00:03:10) they haven't gotten to that place yet (00:03:12) where they've been hurt in relationships (00:03:13) or whatever. They just want to love and (00:03:15) love and love and love and love. And we (00:03:17) get to choose to see, am I going to see (00:03:20) the love that my child wants to give me (00:03:21) today as a gift, right? I want to give (00:03:23) them the gift of my love, but to step (00:03:25) back to receive that love in the midst (00:03:27) of all the tasks and all the things. (00:03:28) It's like, oh, I'm going to be (00:03:30) intentional about receiving this little (00:03:32) one's pure love today. Do you think part (00:03:35) of the reason it can sometimes be hard (00:03:36) to slow down and just really enjoy? (00:03:40) Because really what it comes down to is (00:03:41) when you talk about receiving love, it's (00:03:43) like enjoying the gift of the other (00:03:44) person. Like seeing them, letting all (00:03:47) the crazy busyiness of life slow down (00:03:49) and just appreciating and enjoying this (00:03:51) beautiful little one that you've been (00:03:52) entrusted with. But it seems to be one (00:03:55) of the reasons at least for me anyways (00:03:56) that I might forget to do that in any (00:03:58) given day at least as much as I should (00:04:00) be doing it or would be good for my soul (00:04:02) to do is I am distracted and I am (00:04:06) thinking about you know the modern (00:04:08) mother today (00:04:10) whether she's working or not they're all (00:04:11) we're all working right it there is (00:04:13) endless to-do lists right there is (00:04:15) getting kids ready in the morning if (00:04:17) your kids go to school getting them (00:04:18) ready for school getting them out the (00:04:19) door just child care in general when (00:04:20) your kids are very young it's very (00:04:21) demanding it doesn't it's not like you (00:04:23) can pause it and just leave it, right? (00:04:24) Your your child needs you. You can't (00:04:26) just put a pause on that. Um there's (00:04:28) obviously the feeding, the clothing, the (00:04:30) caring for, but then there's the kind of (00:04:31) emotional needs of the child. Um you (00:04:34) know, there there's endless things and (00:04:36) there's like dealing with the household. (00:04:37) There's the financial considerations of (00:04:39) like making sure the family has money. (00:04:40) Like there's just it it's a lot. (00:04:43) >> It's a lot. (00:04:43) >> Much to carry. (00:04:45) >> It's a lot to carry. And so I think I (00:04:47) think anyone listening and I'm going to (00:04:49) speak for myself because I can at least (00:04:51) do that. This idea of like enjoying the (00:04:54) gift of the child, enjoying your child, (00:04:56) just receiving your child's love, it's a (00:04:58) very beautiful idea. (00:04:59) >> In practice, I think it can feel (00:05:02) difficult sometimes to slow down and do (00:05:05) that because of just responsibilities. (00:05:08) >> Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm not really (00:05:10) into online trends, but there's one (00:05:12) that's been happening over time now is (00:05:14) you imagine that you're 70 or 80 and you (00:05:17) get one more day to come back to the (00:05:19) present day, right? I'm 35 years old (00:05:21) right now. I'm not ashamed to say that. (00:05:22) So, if I'm 80 years old, I imagine (00:05:24) myself as my 35-year-old self now and (00:05:26) what I would do today. I'll get teeyed (00:05:29) talking about it. Um, how I would live (00:05:30) today differently. So, these these women (00:05:32) share online, if I was 80 and I could go (00:05:34) back to being myself today, what would I (00:05:37) enjoy? Right? and they say, "I would (00:05:39) play with the kids and leave, you know, (00:05:40) the mess in the kitchen. I would love (00:05:42) bedtime." Right? A lot of times by the (00:05:44) end of the day for moms, bedtime can be (00:05:46) hard. You're like, "Oh my gosh, I've (00:05:47) given so much." And they want me to read (00:05:48) another story and get another drink of (00:05:50) water. But if I was given this time, one (00:05:53) one more day with my boys at 6 and four (00:05:57) and my daughter at 11 months, like what (00:05:59) a treasure. So trying to live from that (00:06:02) place is what I've always tried to do (00:06:04) before this trend became a thing. really (00:06:06) tried to think about later on in my (00:06:08) life, what will have mattered? What will (00:06:10) I, you know, look back and think, oh, I (00:06:13) should have done that more, right? So, (00:06:15) what I've done since my son was young (00:06:16) was really try to take time. And what I (00:06:20) mean by that is since he was young, for (00:06:22) instance, I would get him out of the car (00:06:24) seat and if I had time, right, sometimes (00:06:26) you're not going different places, (00:06:27) you're just going back into the house. (00:06:29) if he like put his head on my chest, I (00:06:31) would just stay there and I would remain (00:06:33) there and I would just abide in the (00:06:35) Lord's love there and just not rush. I'm (00:06:37) like, we don't have anywhere to go. I (00:06:39) can just stand and hold him and let him (00:06:41) be with me and be with him just for a (00:06:44) couple extra beats longer than I (00:06:46) normally would if I'm like thinking (00:06:47) about the next thing. So, I've really (00:06:49) tried to do that in my life, you know, (00:06:51) with the babies after I shower them, (00:06:52) right? And they're in there, they're (00:06:54) What's better than like a little snuggly (00:06:55) clean clean child? Um and um my older, (00:06:59) he always asks, "Can I sit on your lap?" (00:07:01) Right? And you know, I want to get to (00:07:03) bedtime. I got to get, you know, to this (00:07:04) that or whatever. And I say, "Yeah, (00:07:06) buddy. You can sit on my lap." And I (00:07:07) have him sit on my lap. And I just take (00:07:09) moments there. I just breathe with him. (00:07:12) I love him. And I've tried to be (00:07:13) intentional about that over the years. (00:07:15) >> And it's been beautiful, you know, just (00:07:17) to just to really live in the moment. (00:07:19) You know, it's like kind of a trit (00:07:20) thing. Oh, live in the moment. But it's (00:07:22) like really what can I do to love and (00:07:25) receive this love in this moment more (00:07:27) intentionally and more fully. (00:07:29) >> Okay. I love that and that's such a good (00:07:31) reminder for me even just hearing you (00:07:33) say that. I think the there's like the (00:07:35) spiritual principle underlying it of you (00:07:38) know the the word that comes to mind is (00:07:39) let go or the phrase let go. Obviously (00:07:42) the other word is trust because our our (00:07:45) posture with our father in heaven has to (00:07:46) be one of you know it's like consider (00:07:48) the liies of the field he says and I you (00:07:51) know I crown them in splendor you know (00:07:52) the sparrows have what they need I take (00:07:54) care of I take care of the good green (00:07:56) earth I will take care of you do not (00:07:58) worry do not worry do not be anxious (00:08:00) >> uh so holy scriptur is always the lord (00:08:02) is always talking about don't be anxious (00:08:04) trust in me do not be afraid all of (00:08:05) these things right (00:08:06) >> absolutely (00:08:07) >> and so for the mother to reflect the (00:08:09) love of god to their child and receive (00:08:11) receive really the love of God from (00:08:12) their child. (00:08:14) >> You know, we need to be in a position of (00:08:17) of really it's a it's an act of trust (00:08:20) >> because what is behind that rush through (00:08:22) the day, (00:08:24) >> that inability to slow down and be still (00:08:26) and to, you know, play with your child (00:08:28) even or to just listen to your child or (00:08:31) to have that extra hug with your child. (00:08:34) >> What prevents it is is the rush. Mh. (00:08:37) >> It's it's the preoccupation with all of (00:08:39) the things that need to be done. (00:08:42) >> And they're all good things that need to (00:08:43) be done, right? It's not like there's, (00:08:45) you know, the average mom, she we're not (00:08:47) wasting our time like eating chocolates (00:08:49) and like watching Gilmore Girls. I mean, (00:08:52) that might be nice once in a while, but (00:08:54) you know, it's busy important stuff, but (00:08:56) it's like, okay, it's going to work out. (00:08:58) Like, God will work out the dishes and (00:09:00) the laundry and the everything else, and (00:09:02) I'll obviously probably do it later. (00:09:03) Like, that's how God will do it, but (00:09:05) it's going to get done. (00:09:06) >> Yeah. and or sometimes it's going to (00:09:08) wait till the next day, whatever. But (00:09:10) I'm going to make sure to make this time (00:09:12) to be present with my little one, to (00:09:14) love them, to be loved by them, (00:09:17) >> because that's that's the work of God, (00:09:19) >> right? I mean, that's like it's but it's (00:09:21) easy to forget it. That's what's so (00:09:23) crazy about the way we live in the (00:09:24) modern world. It's so easy to go through (00:09:26) a day and you're like, did I have, you (00:09:28) know, a time today where I really looked (00:09:30) into my little one's eyes? They looked (00:09:32) back at me. There was rest. There wasn't (00:09:34) rush. There wasn't anxiety. there wasn't (00:09:36) to-do list and it was just enjoyment of (00:09:38) the other that they are seen that they (00:09:40) are loved. (00:09:41) >> How often does that moment happen? (00:09:43) >> If we're not intentional, they can just (00:09:45) fly by and then we're we are 70 years (00:09:47) old like what was I doing? You know (00:09:50) >> to really try to live like that is a (00:09:53) very intentional thing in the midst of (00:09:55) everything you listed out that we carry. (00:09:57) We carry so much. So to take those extra (00:10:00) beats to say I'm just going to be here, (00:10:02) right? And we've talked about this (00:10:03) before on your podcast when sometimes (00:10:05) I'll say out loud, I'm so grateful for (00:10:07) this moment in time. To remind myself, (00:10:09) it is a moment and it's going to go away (00:10:11) and they're not always going to be 6, 4, (00:10:13) and 11 months. To be grateful for that (00:10:15) moment is incredible. And also to be (00:10:16) grateful for the gift. Do you ever think (00:10:18) about how patient your children are with (00:10:21) you and how forgiving they are for all (00:10:23) the ways that we mess up as moms, right? (00:10:26) All the things, you know, um the (00:10:28) pressures, right? And things like that. (00:10:29) But we do mess up and we make mistakes. (00:10:31) And I've loved seeing the Lord's like (00:10:33) the gift of the Lord's love alive in my (00:10:35) children, especially my oldest. Your (00:10:37) oldest is how you know you learn you're (00:10:39) getting your sea legs and mothering, but (00:10:41) how his whole life as he's grown up, (00:10:44) we're learning how to do the whole thing (00:10:46) together life. Um, and he's been so (00:10:48) patient and he was he's always been like (00:10:50) so forgiving when I've messed up or (00:10:51) whatever it might have been just to (00:10:54) still love me and just to still be (00:10:56) there. It's such a reflection and such a (00:10:58) gift to me to see this is the way the (00:11:01) Lord loves you, Emily. Right? This is (00:11:03) how patient and forgiving the Lord is (00:11:05) with you when you make a mess, when you (00:11:07) mess up the whole thing. I've seen that (00:11:09) like like reflection off of my son's (00:11:12) heart from the heart of the father and (00:11:14) that's been so amazing. Do you ever (00:11:15) think about like do you feel like that (00:11:17) with your oldest like just being patient (00:11:19) with you as you learn to be a mom, you (00:11:20) know, of of all of your children? (00:11:22) >> Yeah. And the fact that he will keep (00:11:24) coming back for, you know, he he always (00:11:27) wants, it's not like he stops wanting to (00:11:28) be loved. (00:11:29) >> Yeah. (00:11:29) >> And and there's always that invitation (00:11:31) to be with him, to love him. He's always (00:11:34) eager for love. And I think that's such (00:11:36) a humbling, (00:11:38) >> right? (00:11:38) >> Such a humbling gift. (00:11:40) >> And it is. I mean, the purity in that is (00:11:42) so (00:11:42) >> it's just it is it it can that's why (00:11:45) Jesus says, you know, you must become (00:11:46) like a little child to enter the kingdom (00:11:47) of God. Like this is the model of what (00:11:49) it looks like (00:11:50) >> to to love and be loved. what children (00:11:52) teach us (00:11:53) >> and we can apply that of course to our (00:11:55) relationship to God. It can teach us how (00:11:56) to receive God's love and come before (00:11:58) God like a little child like our kids (00:12:00) come before us. (00:12:01) >> Absolutely. (00:12:02) >> How do you approach uh the conflict (00:12:05) part? Because I know at least for me (00:12:09) other moms listening, I know for some (00:12:10) it's easier than others, but when (00:12:12) there's conflict with my kids like (00:12:14) they're fighting with each other (00:12:16) >> or you know I don't have we both have (00:12:18) very young children. And I'm going to (00:12:19) guess when they get older there'll be (00:12:20) tough stuff that they're going to (00:12:21) navigate or things that I don't agree (00:12:23) with that they might get, you know, be (00:12:26) touch, you know, get into involved in (00:12:28) some way. Who knows? But when my kids (00:12:30) are little, it's like fighting or just (00:12:32) they have their own uh, you know, a (00:12:35) temper tantrum or they have something (00:12:36) that they want that they can't have (00:12:37) because it's not good for them or, you (00:12:39) know, they have to do nap time or, you (00:12:41) know, it's the endless there's endless (00:12:43) examples, right? And maintaining peace (00:12:46) as a mother in the middle of conflict, I (00:12:49) think for me, is is difficult because it (00:12:52) hurts me. It like hurts me when my (00:12:54) little my two little boys, they don't (00:12:56) fight often, but they do fight (00:12:58) >> and it's just hard sometimes to navigate (00:13:00) that. What is your take on, (00:13:04) >> you know, there's a whole gentle (00:13:05) parenting stuff obviously and then (00:13:06) there's also, you know, more (00:13:08) authoritative parenting. (00:13:10) >> I think Christian parenting, there's (00:13:11) elements of both. Yeah, for sure. (00:13:13) >> In what it what what we what it comes (00:13:15) to, but yeah. What are some ways that (00:13:17) you try to receive the gift of (00:13:18) motherhood in how you approach I mean (00:13:21) discipline might be one word or conflict (00:13:23) with your little ones? (00:13:24) >> Absolutely. My whole goal is to mother (00:13:27) like Mary would have and Mary even (00:13:29) though her son was Jesus. Um I feel like (00:13:32) if she was, you know, with me today, she (00:13:35) would try to encourage me to mother from (00:13:36) a place of peace. Like you said, that (00:13:38) word peace is so such an integral part (00:13:43) of the way that I try to mother. I try (00:13:45) because peace will be a natural fruit. (00:13:48) Um, if I'm rooted in Jesus, like if I'm (00:13:50) actually rooted in the Lord, rooted in (00:13:52) prayer, rooted in the Eucharist, in the (00:13:54) sacraments, I will live from a place of (00:13:56) peace, right? Like you said, I'm not (00:13:58) going to worry. I'm going to be (00:13:59) surrendered. I'm not going to be (00:14:00) agitated. I'm not going to be, you know, (00:14:02) anxious for anything like it says in (00:14:04) scripture. I want a mother from a place (00:14:05) of peace. And so that is always my goal (00:14:07) is to come like just kind of imagine it (00:14:11) like a wellspring, right? Coming forth (00:14:13) from your heart like this is a (00:14:14) wellspring of peace when it comes to (00:14:16) conflict like that. Um three things that (00:14:18) I try to focus on with the kids are (00:14:20) respect, love, and listening ears. Those (00:14:24) are three big ones for us. Respect of (00:14:26) the other. Okay, so I enter into (00:14:27) conflict and I'm like, okay, is (00:14:29) everybody respecting each other here? (00:14:31) And sometimes the answer is a big no. Um (00:14:33) love. How can we love each other better (00:14:35) in this moment? And how can we give our (00:14:38) listening ears to one another and to my (00:14:40) mom as they call me? So those three core (00:14:43) tenants re like really help them just it (00:14:47) can you know as a small child things can (00:14:49) just be overarchingly confusing of how (00:14:50) we behave and how we make choices. So (00:14:53) those three pillars that I've brought (00:14:54) into my family and into the way we solve (00:14:56) conflicts and the way that I try to, you (00:14:58) know, solve conflicts with them has been (00:15:00) really helpful and it helps them to see (00:15:02) like, you know, like kind of teaching (00:15:05) them what respect is from situation to (00:15:07) situation, right? It's hard to define (00:15:08) what respect looks like without kind of (00:15:11) concrete circumstances to them. But (00:15:13) focusing on those three things have made (00:15:14) it really tangible for them to see (00:15:17) within conflict. And I think all of (00:15:19) those come back to the point of peace, (00:15:21) right? Peace leads to respect, love, and (00:15:23) listening ears for one another. And (00:15:25) that's kind of the tree that I try to (00:15:27) kind of embrace in our family in our (00:15:28) day-to-day life. (00:15:29) >> But it starts with your piece, which is, (00:15:32) I think, the secret that can unlock so (00:15:34) much of what we're discussing about the (00:15:35) gift of motherhood or how we approach (00:15:37) our kids, our disposition with our kids, (00:15:39) how we deal with whatever tough stuff (00:15:41) might come our way. And maybe the word (00:15:44) you could use the word spiritual (00:15:45) self-care, but there's also physical and (00:15:47) emotional self-care that we need to do (00:15:48) as mothers to be able to show up in our (00:15:52) households with that peace. (00:15:54) >> What are some of the things that you do? (00:15:56) >> Yeah. (00:15:57) >> For your self-care as a mom. (00:15:59) >> Yeah. (00:15:59) >> And yeah, the things that you think (00:16:03) most women could imple implement if (00:16:05) again we were intentional about Yeah. We (00:16:06) have to care for ourselves so we can (00:16:07) care for other people. My self-care (00:16:10) looks like letting Jesus take care of (00:16:11) me. So, the way that I've looked at (00:16:13) self-care, I've kind of transformed the (00:16:15) whole thing. It's like, oh no, if I'm (00:16:16) going to mother from a place of peace, (00:16:18) it's not me caring for myself. It's (00:16:20) letting Jesus take care of me. So, time (00:16:24) spent in scripture, right, is not me (00:16:26) caring for myself. It's being there with (00:16:27) the Lord. Jesus, be with me. You know, (00:16:30) like that invitation and that prayer, (00:16:32) Jesus, take care of my heart in this (00:16:34) moment so I can care well for the hearts (00:16:36) in my care. Right? So, you know, (00:16:39) scripture is such a beautiful way to, (00:16:41) you know, have your Bible at home, open (00:16:43) up the Lord's word, and in his reading (00:16:45) his word, let him take care of your (00:16:47) heart, right? And just walking with him (00:16:50) on the journey, let like trying to find (00:16:52) him in everything is one of the ways (00:16:54) that, you know, I've tried to let the (00:16:56) Lord take care of my heart because so (00:16:58) often we just want to muscle through it (00:16:59) ourselves. And in in motherhood, one of (00:17:02) the gifts of motherhood is that you (00:17:03) realize you can't be your own savior. (00:17:05) You're like, I cannot save myself. I (00:17:07) cannot do this by myself. (00:17:08) >> So true. (00:17:09) >> So you like your invitation to the Lord (00:17:11) like help me do this (00:17:13) prayer. Yeah. So true. (00:17:15) >> So like that is a gift to realize boy oh (00:17:17) boy my human frailty is intense and I (00:17:22) need the Lord's love and I need him you (00:17:24) know his saving power every single day (00:17:26) um is just an incredible part of the (00:17:28) gift. So I really see self-care. (00:17:32) You could put this on like a tote bag. (00:17:34) It would get kind of cheesy, but it's (00:17:35) like Jesus care. (00:17:37) >> Like allowing Jesus to care for you is (00:17:41) you opening up yourself to, you know, to (00:17:44) a a wellspring of that peace, of that (00:17:47) rest. You ever meet a mom at rest? you (00:17:50) know, like we have a lot of (00:17:51) responsibilities, but you meet these (00:17:53) mothers and I try to, you know, I'm (00:17:55) trying to be like them and emulate them (00:17:56) in that way, who are just really (00:17:59) unaffected by the world, undistracted by (00:18:02) everything going on, and they're so (00:18:04) focused on the mission that God has for (00:18:07) them with the unique souls that God has (00:18:10) given them. Whatever is going on in the (00:18:13) world, yes, it matters in the grand (00:18:14) scope of things, but my eyes are fixed. (00:18:17) My eyes are fixed on my children, on my (00:18:19) home, and my family and cultivating that (00:18:21) because this is what God has given me, (00:18:23) right? You know, he asked Moses, "What's (00:18:25) in your hand, you know, in scripture and (00:18:27) it's this thing of God asking you, what (00:18:30) have I given you?" That is what I'm (00:18:32) asking you to cultivate and take care of (00:18:33) with all of your heart and I'm going to (00:18:35) take care of you in the sense of (00:18:37) self-care is really Jesus care for your (00:18:40) heart. (00:18:40) >> I love that. (00:18:43) There have been so many times when I've (00:18:45) been looking for an OBGYn or a (00:18:47) pediatrician or a family doctor when I (00:18:49) wonder is this doctor prolife? So, how (00:18:53) do we find prolife doctors? I am so (00:18:55) thankful to my friends over at Presidio. (00:18:58) They have launched prolifeproviders.com. (00:19:00) Prolifeper providers.com is a (00:19:02) values-based platform where you can find (00:19:04) doctors that share your values from (00:19:07) everything from infertility to vaccine (00:19:09) schedules to abortion. Don't settle when (00:19:11) it comes to your family's health. Find (00:19:13) the best doctors. That's prolifep (00:19:14) providers.com. 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Go to weheartnutrition.com (00:19:56) right now and take their 202 survey to (00:19:59) find out the best supplement package for (00:20:00) you that is specialized for wherever you (00:20:02) are in your life, wherever you are with (00:20:04) your health. That's (00:20:05) weeheartnutrition.com. (00:20:06) Use the code lilac checkout for a full (00:20:08) 20% off your order. (00:20:12) I a girlfriend of mine said this to me a (00:20:14) few weeks ago or a couple months ago. (00:20:16) She used the word stayathome mom energy. (00:20:19) >> Okay. (00:20:20) >> Uh which was meant in a really positive (00:20:22) way like the stay mom section like yeah (00:20:25) it's exa I'm exhausted. But meaning like (00:20:28) ideally, right, the stay at home mom (00:20:30) energy is no matter how much busy stuff (00:20:32) she's doing, she's like still at peace. (00:20:36) There's this calm about her even in the (00:20:38) middle of whatever storm she's in. (00:20:41) >> And this idea of Jesus here, I really (00:20:43) love that phrasing. That's so fun. But (00:20:44) it's so it's so true because we cannot (00:20:46) do it without God. We just cannot. And (00:20:48) I've noticed the days where I am rushing (00:20:51) through on my own strength versus the (00:20:53) days when I'm making regular acts of (00:20:55) surrender throughout the day that Lord, (00:20:56) I need you. I give everything to you. I (00:20:58) Jesus, I surrender my life to you. (00:21:00) Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I (00:21:01) surrender everything to you. (00:21:03) >> Those days, it's not that it's easy, (00:21:06) >> but there is an anchoredness. There's a (00:21:08) rootedness that is palpable and it does (00:21:10) show up in all of the interactions that (00:21:12) you may have that day. So, I I'm curious (00:21:15) for you like what are there concrete (00:21:17) things? You mentioned uh reading holy (00:21:19) scripture and actually sitting down and (00:21:21) taking time to let Jesus talk to you (00:21:23) through his word, but are there specific (00:21:25) practices that you have found help (00:21:28) prepare you for the gift of motherhood (00:21:29) or receive that gift of motherhood in (00:21:32) >> in the day-to-day with your self-care? (00:21:34) >> For sure. Yeah. One little thing that I (00:21:37) do is every task that I do, I try to, (00:21:39) you know, I go through seasons where I (00:21:41) do this more often than others, but I (00:21:43) say for your glory, Jesus. One of my (00:21:46) least favorite tasks is putting all the (00:21:47) laundry away. It's like we all have our (00:21:50) thing that it's just like I don't like (00:21:51) this task in life. This is like one of (00:21:53) my things like, oh man, I got to put the (00:21:55) laundry away. And in that moment, (00:21:57) instead of seeing it as a burden, I say (00:21:59) out loud, for your glory, Jesus, and I (00:22:01) go and I do it. If I there's all kinds (00:22:03) of pots and pans and whatever and I got (00:22:05) to clean so many different things, I say (00:22:07) out loud, for your glory, Jesus. To (00:22:10) remind myself, why am I doing all this, (00:22:12) right? What is this all for? It is to (00:22:15) bring glory to God. It is to like, like (00:22:18) I said, to embrace the mission that he's (00:22:20) given me. And when I remember every (00:22:23) single thing can be done for the glory (00:22:25) of God, it transforms my whole entire (00:22:27) day. To take my son to school, I (00:22:30) homeschool him. He's had a homeschool (00:22:31) hybrid. When it's time for teaching for (00:22:34) your glory, Jesus, that it is all (00:22:36) pointing back to that is one of the (00:22:38) little practices that I do. What about (00:22:40) you? (00:22:40) >> That is a I love that one. I love that (00:22:42) phrase. You've got some good ones in (00:22:43) this. (00:22:44) >> Good. I can remember the Jesus care one. (00:22:46) I love that one. (00:22:47) >> Um for me, I think in this in this (00:22:50) season right now, it's making time for (00:22:52) at least right now it's 20 minutes (00:22:55) >> of time where I am just with me, my (00:22:57) Bible, and Jesus. And you know, (00:23:00) obviously if it's before the blessed (00:23:01) sacrament, that's even better. That's (00:23:03) not always possible. (00:23:05) >> And this can be hard in between work and (00:23:07) you know, schedules with little ones. (00:23:09) Obviously, nap time's a great time or if (00:23:11) we have our sitter, she's helping out. (00:23:13) >> But when I and it can be really hard to (00:23:16) make that time happen in the middle of (00:23:17) things. And I understand like some women (00:23:19) like the baby won't nap and then no one (00:23:22) naps at the same time. Like there's a (00:23:24) million things. But you know sometimes (00:23:26) it's after they go to bed quite frankly (00:23:27) or before they go wake up. But anyways (00:23:30) have finding every woman is going to be (00:23:31) different finding that time. But having (00:23:33) set aside time that is a sacred time. (00:23:35) It's as sacred as I need to physically (00:23:37) eat breakfast and shower. And now (00:23:39) someone's listening like I'm not eating (00:23:40) breakfast or able to shower. So like how (00:23:43) about the prayer? But you know you you (00:23:44) take you do a little better each day. (00:23:46) you try to, you know, talk to your (00:23:47) husband hopefully or if you um, you (00:23:49) know, are are, you know, solo moming (00:23:51) like you're you're you're that brave (00:23:52) single mom, you, you know, you kind of (00:23:54) tell God, hey, this is the best I can do (00:23:56) with the schedule I've got now. But (00:23:57) either way, you you're still setting a (00:23:59) aside even a few moments. Maybe it's on (00:24:01) your commute and you're listening to (00:24:03) like whatever it is, you have made an (00:24:05) intentional decision that I'm going to (00:24:07) open myself up to a conversation with (00:24:10) Jesus Christ, my Lord, the Savior, my (00:24:12) love of my life. Holy, come, Holy (00:24:13) Spirit, father in heaven, God, the whole (00:24:15) trinity, you know, is can be there (00:24:17) >> in order to tell them what's on my heart (00:24:20) because sometimes it's literally a bit (00:24:22) of an offload like this is what's top of (00:24:24) mind for me. This is what's maybe (00:24:25) bringing anxiety to the surface here. (00:24:27) This is what I need your help with. Or (00:24:29) maybe it's just like love me, I need (00:24:31) your love. It can be any sort of (00:24:33) immediate primal (00:24:35) >> like movement of the heart, right? Like (00:24:37) the thing is the Lord already knows all (00:24:39) your thoughts, all your all your (00:24:40) feelings. he already knows everything. (00:24:42) So it's like what is that like deepest (00:24:44) need that you have of expression that (00:24:45) you can tell to your father in heaven. (00:24:47) >> So anyways that I think that for me has (00:24:49) been really essential to (00:24:52) >> life is having that time where I am able (00:24:56) to just make that (00:24:57) >> you know it my little act of worship and (00:25:00) saying here I am with all of the (00:25:02) complications and then like the the kind (00:25:06) of final word of it is I trust in you. (00:25:07) Like I give you everything. I trust in (00:25:10) you. It's a acts of surrender. It's I (00:25:12) love you. (00:25:13) >> It's thank you for loving me. (00:25:15) >> You know, you know, God, you are (00:25:17) amazing. Like you're telling him he's (00:25:19) great cuz he's the, you know, most (00:25:20) perfect, most loving, perfect. He's all (00:25:22) love, all perfection. (00:25:24) >> But I think, you know, and sometimes it (00:25:26) can be scheduling it is going to be key. (00:25:28) Or other times just like taking what you (00:25:29) can get, but making that (00:25:31) >> little space for a conversation with God (00:25:33) because I think you can go throughout (00:25:34) the day and make aspirations, (00:25:36) >> but like just a little a little date, a (00:25:38) little appointment. And I found when I (00:25:41) ask my guardian angel to help me with (00:25:42) that and I'm like, "Guardian angel, I (00:25:44) really need help making sure I have this (00:25:46) moment with Jesus that's like set aside (00:25:48) for him." It usually works out. (00:25:50) >> I love he's he's real. Guardian angels (00:25:52) are real and they're like helping us (00:25:54) with our human affairs. (00:25:55) >> So that's been one thing that's a lot. (00:25:57) >> That's a wonderful thing. Yeah. Just (00:25:58) like a place of peace for you to be (00:26:00) refreshed in the Lord's love. (00:26:02) >> Yes. (00:26:02) >> It's amazing and essential. (00:26:04) >> Yes. I know we started talking earlier (00:26:06) at the beginning about just this pure (00:26:08) gift of the motherhood isn't just (00:26:10) experiencing the love of our children (00:26:11) being like the best thing. What is one (00:26:13) more thing that you would say is one of (00:26:15) the best things about being a mom that (00:26:17) maybe we can forget as mothers cuz we're (00:26:19) so busy. (00:26:21) >> Being someone's home is such an honor. (00:26:24) >> And we've see so many videos and I don't (00:26:26) know if it happened to you um but when a (00:26:28) baby is born, right, and they're crying (00:26:29) and they're crying and they're crying (00:26:30) and they're crying and then they like (00:26:32) come up to mom's face and they just (00:26:33) stop. you're like because they think I'm (00:26:36) home with my mom is home. And I'll never (00:26:39) forget one time we were at Baby Beach in (00:26:41) Dana Point. Some of your listeners might (00:26:43) have been there. Um but we were at Baby (00:26:45) Beach and Dana Point and I was pregnant (00:26:46) with my second and um my older son maybe (00:26:49) he was like one and a half two and he (00:26:50) was following behind me and I looked (00:26:52) back at him and he got a little turned (00:26:53) around and he couldn't find me. I could (00:26:55) see him but he um couldn't see me. He's (00:26:57) looking around looking around. So, I'm (00:26:59) just watching him and then when he laid (00:27:01) eyes on me, this relief washed over him (00:27:04) that I had never seen in my life. And it (00:27:08) was this feeling of, oh, I'm home. When (00:27:11) I'm with my mom, I'm home. And cuz, you (00:27:15) know, in those early days, as much as my (00:27:17) husband has helped out, I'm the refuge (00:27:20) and the peace and what the baby wants. I (00:27:22) have all the baby's food that's made (00:27:24) from my body, which is such a gift. Um, (00:27:26) but to be refuge and to be safety and to (00:27:30) be home as a person for someone, (00:27:34) >> I can't like it's such an honor. It (00:27:36) leaves me speechless when I just think (00:27:39) about it, you know? Did your baby stop (00:27:41) crying when they came when they just (00:27:43) like knew you? I remember Gigi was born (00:27:45) last and she was whailing, but she when (00:27:47) she started to nurse and she was happy. (00:27:49) >> Yeah. Cuz it's Oh, this is home. It's (00:27:51) home. (00:27:51) >> This is where I find comfort. This is (00:27:53) where I find comfort food. This is where (00:27:55) I just find all of those good things, (00:27:58) right? We've all grown up in different (00:27:59) homes and some people's homes weren't (00:28:01) what they should have been and they (00:28:03) didn't receive the safety and the love. (00:28:05) But I'm talking about the purest form of (00:28:07) home, like being at home in the heart of (00:28:08) the Lord, right? Where it's peace and (00:28:11) refuge and safety and comfort in every (00:28:13) way, shape, and form. That's what I am (00:28:16) so honored to be for a person and to be (00:28:19) entrusted with their soul and to just (00:28:21) have them want to, you know, be home (00:28:24) with me wherever we are. We're home (00:28:26) together, right? We have a home. Yes, we (00:28:27) have a physical home, but when we're (00:28:29) together, when I'm with my babies, we're (00:28:31) home and it's such a glorious thing. (00:28:33) >> I love that. There's that those there (00:28:34) those I did this with Gigi like a couple (00:28:37) weeks ago where I don't know if you (00:28:38) you've probably done this but if you put (00:28:40) your head in their lap like if you get (00:28:41) on their level you're playing with them (00:28:43) and you put your your head in your (00:28:44) baby's lap or your little one's lap they (00:28:46) will it's it's like this irresistible (00:28:48) urge they will like lean down and (00:28:50) snuggle you (00:28:51) >> so you should try it moms if you're (00:28:52) listen if you've got little especially (00:28:53) when they're little I don't know if (00:28:54) they're like a 10-year-old they're going (00:28:55) to do that but if they're little they (00:28:57) will do that and it's that it's this (00:28:59) like primal like this is this is my (00:29:02) person this is my home and it's So, it's (00:29:04) so beautiful. (00:29:05) >> Yeah, we're home together. (00:29:06) >> It's a little piece of heaven here on (00:29:07) earth. (00:29:08) >> It really is. And what a what a gift. (00:29:10) What a true gift. (00:29:11) >> Let's do a little prayer if you would if (00:29:13) you don't mind praying for us, Emily. (00:29:15) And (00:29:16) >> um yeah, let's also pray for all the (00:29:18) moms listening too (00:29:19) >> to be able to with all the craziness be (00:29:21) able to enjoy their motherhood as the (00:29:23) gift it's meant to be and have that (00:29:25) moment of that receiving, giving back (00:29:28) the love and feeling that very tangibly. (00:29:30) So, I hope everyone listening gets to (00:29:31) experiencing that in the next day. Uh, (00:29:34) and remember that that's that's what the (00:29:35) gift of motherhood is about. God wants (00:29:37) us to experience that love and not be so (00:29:39) worried and stressed with all the (00:29:40) craziness of our life. (00:29:41) >> Absolutely. Let's pray. In the name of (00:29:44) the Father and of the Son and of the (00:29:46) Holy Spirit. Amen. (00:29:49) I just invite you to take a couple of (00:29:51) deep breaths (00:29:54) as we find ourselves in the presence of (00:29:56) God. (00:30:00) Lord Jesus, we thank you for the gift of (00:30:03) motherhood. (00:30:04) We thank you for the honor that it is to (00:30:07) have souls entrusted to our care as (00:30:10) mothers. (00:30:12) Lord, I ask that you help us to be (00:30:14) mothers who mother from a place of (00:30:16) peace, (00:30:18) of rest, (00:30:21) of confidence in who you created us to (00:30:24) be as mothers. the unique gifts that (00:30:27) you've given each of us both in the (00:30:29) strengths that we bring to our mothering (00:30:31) but the unique gifts of our children. (00:30:34) Lord, help us to slow down to take a few (00:30:38) beats, a few extra beats here and there, (00:30:41) no matter the ages of our children, (00:30:43) little ones, teenagers. (00:30:46) Help us to try to be present (00:30:50) to the moments that are so fleeting, so (00:30:53) quick to pass. (00:30:55) Help us to look our children in the eyes (00:30:58) to see the glory of who they are, the (00:31:00) image and likeness of you. (00:31:04) Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for this (00:31:07) gift that is sanctifying (00:31:11) and is drawing us to a deeper sense of (00:31:14) reliance on you as savior, you as (00:31:18) friend, (00:31:19) and you as love. (00:31:23) Mother Mary, we ask that you pray with (00:31:24) us and for us (00:31:27) that you would lead us ever closer (00:31:28) closer to your son as we pray. Hail (00:31:30) Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with (00:31:32) thee. Blessed art thou among women, and (00:31:34) blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. (00:31:37) Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us (00:31:39) sinners, now and at the hour of our (00:31:41) death. Amen. In the name of the Father (00:31:43) and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. (00:31:46) Amen. (00:31:47) >> Amen. Thank you, friend. (00:31:49) >> Thanks for having me. (00:31:50) >> So good. I feel ready. I'm like, let me (00:31:52) go back to my children now. Look them in (00:31:54) the eyes. (00:31:55) >> Yes. So good. (00:31:56) >> Lovely. Thank you.