This is the #1 Strategy to Raising Mentally Strong Kids (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:02) Every day you are [music] making your (00:00:04) brain better or you are making it worse. (00:00:07) Stay with us to learn how you can change (00:00:10) your brain for the better every day. (00:00:15) Raising mentally strong kids requires (00:00:18) seven core conversations which apply to (00:00:22) all kids, including young adults and (00:00:25) those struggling with ADHD, anxiety, (00:00:29) depression, or even autism. Let's start (00:00:33) with core conversation number one. Brain (00:00:36) health is foundational to mental (00:00:39) strength. When your brain works right, (00:00:43) you work right. This applies to kids and (00:00:46) adults of all ages. At Aean Clinics, (00:00:49) we've been using a brain imaging study (00:00:51) called SPACK that looks at blood flow (00:00:54) and activity for the last 33 years to (00:00:58) assess and treat our patients, including (00:01:00) kids and teenagers. We've looked at over (00:01:04) 250,000 (00:01:06) scans on patients from 155 countries. (00:01:10) The scans taught us that most (00:01:13) psychiatric illnesses are not mental (00:01:17) health issues at all, but rather they (00:01:20) are brain health issues that steal (00:01:23) people's minds. And this one idea (00:01:26) changes everything. Get your brain (00:01:29) healthy and your mind will follow. Here (00:01:34) is a healthy spec scan compared to scans (00:01:37) of young people affected by head trauma, (00:01:41) infections, marijuana, and alcohol. The (00:01:45) brain is an organ just like your heart (00:01:48) is an organ. If you want your children (00:01:51) to be mentally strong, if you want them (00:01:54) to be responsible, confident, happy, (00:01:58) kind, and resilient, if you want them to (00:02:01) make good decisions and be focused and (00:02:04) motivated and have great relationships, (00:02:06) it starts by talking to them about (00:02:10) having a healthy brain. When kids (00:02:12) struggle, too often we blame the parents (00:02:16) or parents blame themselves. Take Chris. (00:02:21) I met him when he was 12. He was (00:02:23) diagnosed with ADHD when he was six. He (00:02:27) was hyperactive, restless, impulsive, (00:02:29) conflict-seeking, and aggressive. His (00:02:32) doctor prescribed rolin but (00:02:34) unfortunately it made him more (00:02:36) aggressive and he started to hallucinate (00:02:39) on it which is a very rare side effect. (00:02:42) When he was eight, Chris attacked a boy (00:02:46) at school and he was placed in a (00:02:48) psychiatric hospital. The doctor there (00:02:51) thought Chris was depressed and started (00:02:54) him on an anti-depressant. But it also (00:02:56) made him worse. Since he was six, he had (00:03:00) been in therapy nearly every week. When (00:03:03) I first saw him, he had been seeing the (00:03:06) same therapist for two years. Every week (00:03:09) he would go, and every week, the (00:03:12) therapist told Chris's mother that if (00:03:15) only she would get into therapy and deal (00:03:18) with her own childhood issues, Chris (00:03:20) would not have a problem. If a child has (00:03:24) a problem, our society and even many (00:03:27) therapists blame the parents. But what (00:03:30) if they're wrong? What if they are (00:03:32) missing something much more (00:03:35) foundational? What if they are missing a (00:03:38) brain that is in trouble? Blame the (00:03:42) brain. I was on call the night Chris was (00:03:46) admitted to the hospital after he again (00:03:49) became aggressive at school. One of the (00:03:52) things I used to do with my young (00:03:54) patients was to get them all together (00:03:55) and play basketball with them. That was (00:03:58) a way for all of us to talk in a casual (00:04:01) way to get to know each other and have (00:04:04) some fun. And that's what I did with (00:04:07) Chris the day after he was admitted. (00:04:10) What I remember so distinctly about that (00:04:13) particular day was that Chris was on my (00:04:17) team and he cheated on every play. I (00:04:21) mean, every play. I felt like he was (00:04:24) testing me, trying to get me to yell at (00:04:26) him like his mother did. Of course, I (00:04:29) wasn't going to yell at him. But what I (00:04:32) was going to do, what I had already (00:04:34) decided to do because he had failed many (00:04:37) treatments, was scan his little brain to (00:04:40) find out why he acted the way he did. (00:04:44) His scan showed a dangerous combination (00:04:48) of low activity in his left temporal (00:04:51) lobe, an area often associated with (00:04:54) violence, and low activity in his (00:04:58) prefrontal cortex, decreasing his (00:05:01) impulse control. You've heard it said, a (00:05:04) picture is worth a thousand words, but a (00:05:08) map is worth a thousand pictures. A map (00:05:12) tells you where you are and gives you (00:05:15) direction on how to get to where you (00:05:17) want to go. Without a map, you're lost. (00:05:22) Based on the scan, I put him on a (00:05:25) combination of supplements that boost (00:05:27) GABA to stabilize the temporal loes, (00:05:31) then something to boost dopamine to (00:05:33) stimulate his prefrontal cortex to help (00:05:36) with focus and impulse control. in that (00:05:39) order. If you get the order wrong, many (00:05:43) people become worse. In addition, I had (00:05:47) this core conversation with Chris and (00:05:50) his family and taught them to love their (00:05:53) brains, which included a higher protein, (00:05:57) healthy fat diet. And within weeks, (00:06:01) Chris was a different child. He was (00:06:04) happier, did better in school, and the (00:06:07) aggressive outburst stopped. His mother (00:06:11) no longer looked like she was the (00:06:13) problem. Six years later, I gave a (00:06:16) lecture at Chris's high school on our (00:06:18) program, Brain Thrive by 25, which (00:06:22) teaches teens and young adults to love (00:06:24) and care for their brains. Independent (00:06:27) research shows this program decreases (00:06:31) drug, alcohol, and tobacco use, (00:06:34) decreases depression, and improves (00:06:36) self-esteem. (00:06:38) When Chris saw me on the campus, he ran (00:06:40) up to me, gave me a big hug, and (00:06:43) introduced me to five of his friends. (00:06:46) What do you think would have happened to (00:06:48) Chris if I hadn't mapped and balanced (00:06:51) his brain? It's likely that he would (00:06:54) have been in jail, multiple psychiatric (00:06:56) facilities, or debt. His mother would (00:07:00) have continued to feel shame as if she (00:07:03) was the cause of his problems. You (00:07:06) cannot parent your way out of a child's (00:07:10) troubled brain. But there is advanced (00:07:14) technology now to understand and help (00:07:17) their brains. Brain first. Whenever you (00:07:22) are struggling or your children are (00:07:25) struggling, think about understanding (00:07:28) and optimizing the brain. Brain health (00:07:32) is based on three primary strategies. (00:07:36) They are so simple even young kids can (00:07:40) understand them. One, love your brain. (00:07:45) It makes you who you are. Two, avoid (00:07:48) anything that hurts it. And three, (00:07:52) engage in regular brain healthy habits. (00:07:57) Starting the brain health conversation (00:08:00) is easy with kids. Make a game of it. (00:08:03) Ever since our daughter Chloe was two, (00:08:06) she and I played a game we called (00:08:09) Khloe's game. I would say something and (00:08:12) ask her, "Is this good for your brain or (00:08:15) bad for it?" For example, if I said (00:08:18) avocados, she'd say two thumbs up, God's (00:08:21) butter. If I said blueberries, she'd put (00:08:25) her hands on her hips and ask me if they (00:08:28) were organic. [laughter] (00:08:31) Non-organic blueberries hold more (00:08:33) pesticides than almost any other fruit. (00:08:36) If I said, "Of course they're organic," (00:08:39) she'd say, "wo thumbs up. God's candy." (00:08:43) If I say hitting a soccer ball with your (00:08:45) head, she'd say thumbs down. No way. Or (00:08:49) talking back to your redheaded mother. (00:08:53) Oh, that's not good at all. Way too much (00:08:57) stress. [laughter] (00:08:58) None of this is hard. When Khloe was in (00:09:02) second grade, I went to her classroom (00:09:04) and wrote 20 things on the board and (00:09:07) asked the kids to separate which ones (00:09:10) were good for the brain or bad for it. (00:09:13) The only thing they missed was fruit (00:09:17) juice, which they put in the healthy (00:09:19) category, sorry, way too much sugar. (00:09:23) Some things are obviously bad for the (00:09:26) brain, such as head injuries, poor (00:09:29) sleep, or quality food, and toxins like (00:09:32) drugs, nicotine, and alcohol. Don't (00:09:36) believe the marketing hype. Vaping is (00:09:39) not a healthier form of smoking. Alcohol (00:09:43) is not a health food, and marijuana is (00:09:46) not innocuous. Teens who use marijuana (00:09:49) have a higher incidence of anxiety, (00:09:52) depression, psychosis, and suicide in (00:09:56) their 20s. I published a study with (00:09:58) researchers from UCLA, USC, and UC San (00:10:02) Francisco on nearly a thousand marijuana (00:10:06) users showing every area of the brain (00:10:10) was lower in activity. From childhood (00:10:14) all the way into your mid20s, the brain (00:10:18) is undergoing wild development. Think of (00:10:22) brain development as a vibrant city (00:10:25) under construction. The roads are being (00:10:27) laid down. Buildings reach for the sky. (00:10:31) And the infrastructure is being (00:10:33) connected. Using substances like alcohol (00:10:37) or marijuana is like flooding the (00:10:40) streets of this young city with toxic (00:10:42) chemicals or taking wrecking balls to (00:10:46) the new roads and buildings, damaging (00:10:49) development and making it less likely (00:10:52) young people will ever reach their full (00:10:56) potential. Know the truth about toxins, (00:11:00) decrease your own use, and make sure to (00:11:04) educate and supervise your kids. Kids (00:11:07) hate supervision, (00:11:09) but they hate it more if you don't do it (00:11:12) because they think you don't care about (00:11:15) them. Some things that are bad for the (00:11:18) brain that might not be so obvious (00:11:21) include digital addictions and excessive (00:11:25) screen time because they wear out the (00:11:28) brain's pleasure centers and increase (00:11:31) the risk of depression and ADHD. (00:11:35) Young people are relying more on social (00:11:38) media as their primary source of human (00:11:41) connection and they're relying less and (00:11:44) less on themselves and their families. (00:11:48) 95% of young people use at least one (00:11:52) social media platform and more than a (00:11:55) third of them use social media almost (00:11:59) constantly. Tech companies use the same (00:12:03) strategy that casinos use to addict (00:12:07) unsuspecting youngsters who start to (00:12:10) crave more time on the free programs. If (00:12:15) you aren't paying for a product, then (00:12:17) you are the product. Social media (00:12:20) companies manipulate kids by subtly (00:12:23) changing the way they think, act, and (00:12:27) spend money. They make money by having (00:12:30) kids continually stay connected to see (00:12:34) what others are doing and have others (00:12:37) see what they're doing, leading to toxic (00:12:41) levels of being self-absorbed. (00:12:44) Self-absorbed kids are unhappy kids. (00:12:48) Children who spend more than three hours (00:12:50) a day on social media have twice the (00:12:53) risk of anxiety and depression. And on (00:12:58) average today, kids are spending 3 and (00:13:01) 1/2 hours a day on these platforms. If (00:13:05) you want mentally strong kids, delay (00:13:09) giving them cell phones, social media, (00:13:12) and video games for as long as possible. (00:13:15) And it is critical to supervise their (00:13:19) use. Core conversation number one. If (00:13:22) you want your kids and grandkids to be (00:13:25) mentally strong, it starts by building a (00:13:29) healthy brain. Talk to your kids about (00:13:31) their brains. Love it. Avoid things that (00:13:34) hurt it and engage in regular brain (00:13:37) healthy habits, especially brain healthy (00:13:41) food, exercise, targeted supplements, (00:13:45) and sleep. Brainhealthy food. In the (00:13:48) program materials, my wife Tana has a (00:13:52) new raising mentally strong kids (00:13:54) cookbook with many recipes kids can (00:13:58) make. Exercise is a critical brain (00:14:01) health habit, especially coordination (00:14:05) exercises which stimulate the cerebellum (00:14:09) in the back bottom part of the brain. (00:14:12) The cerebellum has more than half of the (00:14:15) brain's neurons and it is important (00:14:18) because it's connected to all other (00:14:20) parts of the brain. Exercises like (00:14:24) tennis, table tennis, pickle ball or (00:14:26) dancing are great for brain development. (00:14:30) Of course, if you drink while you are (00:14:33) dancing or play beer pond, it completely (00:14:37) ruins the benefits. [laughter] (00:14:40) I also recommend all of my patients, no (00:14:43) matter what their age, take multiple (00:14:46) vitamins, omega-3 fatty acids, and (00:14:49) probiotics for gut health. My favorite (00:14:53) supplement, the one I take every day (00:14:56) besides these and give to my kids, is (00:14:59) saffron, as it has been found to help (00:15:02) mood, memory, and focus.