Raising Emotionally Intelligent Sons in Today’s World ft. Ethan Hagner (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:00) I think what you'll find growing up and (00:00:02) I think that this is this is a (00:00:03) conversation and what we're about ready (00:00:05) to talk about right now and this is this (00:00:07) kind of unexpected but it's it's a good (00:00:08) one. Coping mechanisms like you you are (00:00:11) not going to live this life without (00:00:14) severe adversity coming your way. Severe (00:00:17) adversity stress and it's not (00:00:19) necessarily the stress that comes at (00:00:21) you. It's how you handle it. One of the (00:00:23) things that men can always do a better (00:00:25) job of is how do we how do we handle (00:00:28) that stress? What do we do with that (00:00:29) stress? How do we cope with it? And (00:00:31) there are great coping mechanisms and (00:00:33) there are also coping mechanisms that (00:00:34) are very harmful. (00:00:39) All right. So, when we're navigating (00:00:41) raising kids and we're navigating (00:00:44) independence, we want our kids to be (00:00:46) independent thinkers. We want them to be (00:00:49) critical thinkers. We want them to go (00:00:51) out and do life on their own. But (00:00:54) there's a lot of things that happen (00:00:56) especially as they grow up especially (00:00:57) like during the teenage years you know (00:01:01) like and then there's navigating the (00:01:04) parents the conversations the arguments (00:01:06) the disagreements siblings sibling (00:01:10) rivalry there's a lot of different (00:01:11) things that are happening. So, it's like (00:01:13) what what we're going to be talking (00:01:14) about today is what it's like being 19 (00:01:16) years old or actually aging up to 19 (00:01:19) years old and then carving your own path (00:01:21) but still being still being a part of (00:01:24) the family. Um, I'm going to be (00:01:26) reflecting upon like things that I've (00:01:28) seen Ethan do and how he's operated over (00:01:31) the past, you know, through his (00:01:33) childhood. And I'm also going to be (00:01:34) talking about mine, how I navigated (00:01:36) mine, how you kind of grow up, you know, (00:01:38) it's kind of like this uh I think (00:01:40) anybody out there listening, you know, (00:01:41) why is this why is today's show (00:01:43) important? It's important no matter if (00:01:44) it doesn't matter if you have an adult (00:01:46) child or not because they're going to (00:01:47) get to this age at some point. And it's (00:01:50) really how do we navigate, you know, (00:01:53) getting them to this age, the dynamics, (00:01:55) but still creating like this really, (00:01:57) really good connection, right? Ethan's (00:01:59) going to talk a little bit on how to (00:02:01) disagree with your parents, but doing it (00:02:04) respectfully, (00:02:05) >> not blowing up. We're also going to be (00:02:07) talking about the importance of that, (00:02:08) the respect, the the importance of (00:02:10) respect, communication, and giving kids (00:02:12) space as they grow up. Um, enough space, (00:02:15) but not too much space. So, it's kind of (00:02:17) like the Goldilock space. So, (00:02:18) >> Ethan, what's up, dude? How are you, (00:02:20) man? (00:02:20) >> I'm doing great, actually. How about (00:02:21) you? (00:02:22) >> I am doing fan freaking. (00:02:25) >> Fant freaking tabulous. Yes. (00:02:27) Fantabulous. (00:02:29) >> Fantabulistic. (00:02:30) >> Do you know what? I'm really excited (00:02:31) about that one. (00:02:33) >> I don't know what. (00:02:34) >> I'm really excited about pumpkin spice (00:02:36) being out now for farm. It's pumpkin (00:02:38) spice season. Oh my dear lord. (00:02:41) >> Yummy. Yum. (00:02:42) >> So, here's what I'm going to be making (00:02:44) this month. I haven't made it yet. (00:02:46) >> Pumpkin spice ice cream. (00:02:47) >> Yeah. But here's what I'm going to do. (00:02:48) Are you ready? (00:02:50) >> Okay. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm (00:02:51) going to take pumpkin spice level one. (00:02:55) Okay. Mhm. (00:02:56) >> Which, by the way, is freaking (00:02:58) delicious. If you if you like pumpkin, (00:02:59) if you're like, "H, pumpkin's not for (00:03:01) me." Well, then you're a loser. No. (00:03:05) >> Wow. (00:03:06) >> I don't know anybody who doesn't like (00:03:08) pumpkin. I mean, it's pretty darn good. (00:03:09) And it only comes around a few times a (00:03:11) year. So, (00:03:12) >> so here's what I'm going to make. You (00:03:13) ready for this? (00:03:14) >> Yeah. (00:03:14) >> Okay. So, all you guys know, if you (00:03:17) listen to the podcast, I love making (00:03:18) protein ice cream. We have one of those (00:03:20) ninja creamies. And disclaimer, you do (00:03:22) need a Ninja Creamy for this one. But (00:03:23) still like if you just mix up a couple (00:03:26) scoops of pumpkin spice and you know (00:03:28) like a blender bottle with with a little (00:03:31) bit of water so or some almond milk. (00:03:34) It's still it's like liquid pumpkin pie. (00:03:36) It's so good. (00:03:37) >> Sounds really good. (00:03:38) >> It's so good. (00:03:39) >> I love pumpkin pie. (00:03:40) >> I do too. So but here's what I'm going (00:03:42) to do. I am going to make a pumpkin (00:03:47) cheesecake ice cream. So here's what I (00:03:49) want to do. You ready for this? So it's (00:03:50) going to be two scoops of level one. (00:03:52) Uh-huh. (00:03:53) >> It's going to be almond milk. And then (00:03:56) I'm going to mix in um zero sugar (00:03:59) cheesecake (00:04:01) >> pudding. That's going to give it like (00:04:02) the ice cream consistency. And then when (00:04:04) it's all frozen when I mix it up, I'm (00:04:06) going to take two graham crackers, (00:04:08) crumble them up, and then remix it. So, (00:04:10) it's going to be like this pumpkin (00:04:13) cheesecake with graham cracker. It's (00:04:15) going to be like like literally pumpkin (00:04:17) pie cheesecake. (00:04:18) >> I might as well serve that on (00:04:20) Thanksgiving. (00:04:22) If I serve that at Thanksgiving, like (00:04:25) the rest of our like you and I would (00:04:26) probably appreciate it, but like if we (00:04:27) brought that to like grandma and papa's, (00:04:29) they would be like, "We knew there was (00:04:30) something wrong with you people." (00:04:32) >> Well, they would make the pumpkin pie (00:04:33) while make we make the pumpkin spice (00:04:36) >> uh cheesecake. (00:04:37) >> They would. So, (00:04:38) >> every time I think of pumpkin spice, I (00:04:40) think of the latte at Starbucks cuz it's (00:04:42) the most popular drink. (00:04:43) >> It is. And it's like 1,000 calories. I I (00:04:46) don't know how many calories (00:04:47) >> really that much. (00:04:48) >> No, it's it's So, I do know this. It's (00:04:50) basically a dessert in a cup. Like (00:04:52) there's tons of sugar. I'd actually have (00:04:54) to (00:04:54) >> let me let me actually You know what? (00:04:56) While we're doing this, let me let me (00:04:57) look at those macros. Side quest real (00:05:00) quick. (00:05:00) >> Let's see. Um I'll just speak this in. (00:05:04) How many calories (00:05:06) and macros is a venty pumpkin spice (00:05:11) latte from Starbucks? See what it says (00:05:13) here. See what it says. (00:05:16) Oh, it just says you're obese. (00:05:20) I'm just (00:05:22) >> All right, just All right, take a guess. (00:05:24) Take a guess. This is it calories. (00:05:25) >> It's a 20 ounce Starbucks pumpkin spice (00:05:28) latte. I don't even Here's disclaimer. I (00:05:31) know we talk about Starbucks. I don't (00:05:33) drink this stuff. Like I I drink black (00:05:36) coffee. I'm the most boring coffee (00:05:38) drinker on the planet. (00:05:38) >> I drink coffee. And whenever I go over (00:05:40) there, I only go for like a croissant or (00:05:43) a egg sandwiches. Egg sandwich or a egg (00:05:47) like the egg white bites. Yeah, (00:05:49) >> I don't go there for drinks. I never go (00:05:50) there for drinks. (00:05:51) >> I know. I get a black coffee and I truth (00:05:53) be told, I'm not a fan of Starbucks (00:05:55) coffee. I feel like it tastes like burnt (00:05:57) coffee. I just But I'll I'll drink it, (00:05:59) you know? But I don't drink these. I (00:06:00) just don't. (00:06:01) >> You don't want like a $3 coffee. (00:06:03) >> Yeah, dude. Their black coffees are $4. (00:06:06) $4. Like I can make my own like organic (00:06:09) coffee for like a buck. Like if I get (00:06:12) like (00:06:12) >> crazy. (00:06:13) >> Yeah. Like the formatic coffee like (00:06:14) that's like a dollar a cup and it's so (00:06:16) much healthier. But anyway, um, how many (00:06:18) calories do you think a 20 oz pumpkin (00:06:21) spice latte made with whole milk and (00:06:23) whipped cream is? (00:06:25) >> 215. (00:06:26) >> Not even close. (00:06:27) >> 500. (00:06:28) >> Almost closer. It's 470 calories. (00:06:31) >> 15 gram of fat. Here's the crazy thing. (00:06:34) 66 g of sugar. (00:06:37) >> 66. (00:06:38) >> Oh my gosh. 66 g of it does have 18 (00:06:40) grams of protein, (00:06:42) >> but that those calories, that fat and (00:06:44) those carbs are not worth the protein. (00:06:47) >> No, (00:06:47) >> this is why I like level one and this is (00:06:49) why I like doing things like this (00:06:51) because as a man, you need protein. You (00:06:54) do not need 66 g of sugar. So, like (00:06:57) protein is key. Two scoops of this in a (00:07:01) in a blender bottle, you're looking at (00:07:03) 40 g of protein. So, you're going to (00:07:04) double the protein and it's literally (00:07:06) going to be half the calories of this. (00:07:08) So, (00:07:08) >> I used to make the mistake of just (00:07:10) looking at like whenever I look like the (00:07:12) nutrition facts or the the macros or (00:07:14) something and I would look at it and I'd (00:07:16) be like, "Oh, look at that. It's got (00:07:18) like 10 grams of protein, but it's like (00:07:19) something very crappy for you. It's not (00:07:21) even that good for you." And I'm just (00:07:23) like, "Well, it's got 10 grams of (00:07:25) protein. I'll be fine." (00:07:27) >> No. and it's got like like like 50 gram (00:07:31) of sugar and like a ton of carbs in it (00:07:34) and just not good for you. (00:07:36) >> Well, there's there's a there's a (00:07:38) company out there that makes um healthy (00:07:42) quote unquote not really healthy, but (00:07:45) it's like they try to do the cookies. (00:07:47) Try to do the cookie. It's Lenny and (00:07:48) Larry's cookies. (00:07:49) >> Oh, yeah. I used to love their cookies, (00:07:51) >> right? But do you know 400 calories for (00:07:55) about 16 grams of protein? So it's (00:07:57) almost like this in a way. So in my (00:07:59) personal opinion, you know, it's better (00:08:01) to eat like so like a level one bar. (00:08:04) It's 200. It's right around 200 to 240 (00:08:06) calories depending on which level which (00:08:08) flavor you get, but you always get in (00:08:10) between 18 to 22 grams of protein and (00:08:12) for about 200 to 240 calories. So I (00:08:15) don't know. I always try to try to max (00:08:18) out the most amount of protein that I (00:08:20) can get with the least amount of (00:08:21) calories that I can get usually when I'm (00:08:23) when I'm eating my meals. But anyway, so (00:08:25) we're going to have a link for you guys (00:08:27) in the show notes um for for that uh for (00:08:32) uh pumpkin spice latte. Uh you guys will (00:08:35) not want to miss out on that. (00:08:36) >> Pumpkin spice level one. (00:08:37) >> Pumpkin spice level one. Also pumpkin (00:08:39) spice formula 1, which is the whey (00:08:41) protein isolate. But I'll tell you, like (00:08:43) you can't go wrong with it. Uh you'll (00:08:46) you it's just absolutely delicious and (00:08:49) it's only for a limited time. So you (00:08:52) need to make sure Yeah. limited time. (00:08:54) Make sure (00:08:54) >> makes sense. It's more of like a fall (00:08:56) thing. (00:08:56) >> It is a full thing. But we'll have a (00:08:58) link for you guys in the show notes if (00:08:59) you guys go to the dadge.com1376 (00:09:03) for this show. Again, the dadge.com1376 (00:09:08) for this show. I can't believe we've (00:09:09) done that many shows so far. Okay, so (00:09:11) let's get into today's podcast, which is (00:09:14) the family ties, navigating parents and (00:09:16) siblings and independence. And I want to (00:09:18) talk first of all about this liinal (00:09:22) space that you're in right now, which is (00:09:24) you and I have talked about this a lot, (00:09:25) which is like um we actually talked (00:09:27) about this yesterday, not on the (00:09:29) podcast, but um but just in general, and (00:09:32) that is, you know, up until like 8th (00:09:36) grade, like your container and like your (00:09:38) structure is like, okay, you're in (00:09:40) school and you do these things and you (00:09:42) play this sport, right? And then you go (00:09:43) to high school and it's like, okay, I (00:09:44) know what I'm doing for the next four (00:09:46) years. I'm in this space. I'm taking (00:09:48) these classes. I'm doing these sports. (00:09:49) I'm doing band and wrestling. And now (00:09:51) you graduate and now you're sort of in (00:09:54) this space of like complete and total (00:09:56) like I wouldn't say complete and total (00:09:57) but close independence. (00:09:59) >> Yeah. (00:09:59) >> Right. And um sort of. Yeah. I mean and (00:10:02) now navigating this. So what feels (00:10:05) different at 19 than it did like a year (00:10:08) ago? (00:10:09) >> A lot. (00:10:10) >> Like what? Well, like what you were just (00:10:12) saying, like when you're in a school (00:10:14) setting in high school, you are in one (00:10:16) place four years, you're doing the same (00:10:20) routine almost every single day, 5 days (00:10:22) a week. Um, (00:10:24) and you (00:10:26) you're you're very limited on what you (00:10:28) can do. Like you it's not like um we (00:10:31) have a whole lot of freedom to just do (00:10:33) whatever we want in the school. Like (00:10:34) like or for a lot of college people like (00:10:36) you could just leave whenever you want. (00:10:38) You can go walk around campus and have (00:10:41) lunch with all your friends. No, no. In (00:10:44) uh in school, you know, you have to stay (00:10:45) in one designated area most (00:10:48) >> pretty much. That's what it really feels (00:10:49) like. (00:10:49) >> You're going to get outdoor playground (00:10:51) time today or what they call it? (00:10:53) >> Outside time. (00:10:54) >> Outside time, but yeah. I mean, we (00:10:57) didn't we didn't really have a whole lot (00:10:59) of freedom to do what we wanted. I mean, (00:11:01) now I do. Right now I'm just taking (00:11:05) online class where I can do it at my own (00:11:08) pace which is nice but I mean I really (00:11:11) wish this (00:11:13) is going back to like quarantine stuff (00:11:16) when we all had to go online. (00:11:18) >> What was quarantine? I don't remember (00:11:20) that. (00:11:20) >> No. Yeah. I don't I don't know. But like (00:11:22) it just reminds me of those times where (00:11:24) I had to go at my own pace and I didn't (00:11:26) really have a whole lot of access to my (00:11:27) teachers a whole lot. And so I mean I (00:11:30) mean it's nice that I can go at my own (00:11:32) pace and it's nice that I can take (00:11:34) initiative in my own my own choices. (00:11:36) Like just recently I went grocery (00:11:38) shopping for my just for my myself just (00:11:41) to buy some more protein stuff for for (00:11:44) myself. So I mean it's just it's a lot (00:11:48) more different. But I remember you (00:11:50) telling me um a couple days ago that you (00:11:54) were like um (00:11:57) I was trying to get a hold of my (00:11:58) teacher, (00:11:59) >> my professor, and you were like, "Well, (00:12:02) if we weren't here to help you, what (00:12:04) would you do?" (00:12:05) >> Yeah. (00:12:05) >> And I'd be like, "Wow, I probably should (00:12:09) start thinking like that because I won't (00:12:11) have you guys around the older one." You (00:12:13) know, it's not always the easy route for (00:12:15) me. So, (00:12:16) >> actually, you're moving out tomorrow. (00:12:17) But we haven't told you. (00:12:18) >> So, all these decisions you're going to (00:12:20) have to make on your own. (00:12:21) >> All right. Where am I living? (00:12:22) >> Um, I don't know. I got you (00:12:25) >> all the streets. (00:12:26) >> I got you. I went out and picked up this (00:12:29) nice refrigerator box. So, your new (00:12:32) address will be fragile this end up at (00:12:34) the corner of 9inth and 7th. (00:12:39) If someone needs a knock, they just need (00:12:40) a box opener and just (00:12:43) >> Exactly. But yeah, no, that you know (00:12:46) what I I'll be honest though. I do (00:12:49) better in structure. I think a lot of (00:12:51) people do better in structure and I work (00:12:55) better and I think a lot of people work (00:12:56) better when there's when you're not (00:12:59) necessarily (00:13:00) given like total free reign of like, (00:13:03) hey, here's your day, (00:13:05) >> right? And that's why like I have to (00:13:07) applaud you. You went out and bought a (00:13:08) planner. (00:13:09) >> Yeah, I did. (00:13:10) >> Yeah. (00:13:11) >> Yeah. I was at Missou visiting a friend. (00:13:14) You remember when we talked about like (00:13:15) the whole friend stuff? (00:13:16) >> Yeah. Yeah. (00:13:16) >> Yeah. I I did end up visiting my buddy (00:13:19) at Missou (00:13:20) >> which was awesome. That was that was a (00:13:22) to-do. That was something that we talked (00:13:24) about on the podcast that you should go (00:13:25) do and you did. (00:13:26) >> Yeah. It was a lot of fun. We didn't we (00:13:29) didn't party or anything. We hung out. (00:13:30) He also gave me a tour of the the campus (00:13:33) and that's whenever we went to the (00:13:34) student center. (00:13:35) >> You really didn't party? (00:13:36) >> No. (00:13:37) >> You really didn't? I never I'm not the (00:13:40) type of person that likes to party. (00:13:41) >> I mean, I'm socializing with a group of (00:13:45) friends, (00:13:45) >> right? (00:13:46) >> Like I like doing like what we do here, (00:13:48) like bonfires, (00:13:49) >> hot tub, (00:13:50) >> hanging out. I'm not like a guy who (00:13:53) wants to go to a fraternity and and (00:13:55) party and drink. (00:13:57) >> I'm shocked. (00:13:58) >> It's not my thing. (00:14:00) >> I get that, but like I can I be honest (00:14:03) with you? (00:14:04) >> Yeah. when you went to Missou, I was (00:14:06) like, "Well, he'll be hung over today." (00:14:10) >> Did you accidentally be hung over? (00:14:11) >> Of course I did. Well, I mean, like I (00:14:13) was 19 once and I went away to college. (00:14:15) Like I I was not 21 when I went away to (00:14:18) college, but there was plenty of (00:14:19) alcohol. (00:14:20) >> Yeah. (00:14:21) >> On campus. And like (00:14:22) >> it's college, everyone. (00:14:23) >> It's college. And like you go away to (00:14:26) college and even though you're underage, (00:14:29) like that doesn't stop anybody from (00:14:31) going out and having a good old time. I (00:14:33) have to tell you though, (00:14:36) I'm insanely proud of you. Really (00:14:38) insanely proud. I was just like, "Wow." (00:14:41) Like, this is what I'm talking about. (00:14:43) Like, I I think dads have a (00:14:45) responsibility to raise a generation (00:14:48) that's that makes better decisions than (00:14:50) what they did. And your old man, given (00:14:53) the same situation when I was 19, there (00:14:55) would have not (00:14:57) >> Well, you're also you were in a college (00:14:59) setting. I am more of a online setter. (00:15:02) True. You could drink online, though. (00:15:06) >> Well, where am I going to get the (00:15:08) alcohol? I can't get it from a frat. (00:15:10) >> I know, right? I'm totally kidding. But (00:15:12) >> I know. (00:15:12) >> But no, like when you're in that (00:15:14) setting, I But I am I'm really proud of (00:15:15) you. Like let's let's talk about that (00:15:17) decision for a second. Were you tempted? (00:15:19) Like I mean like (00:15:20) >> I really wasn't. (00:15:21) >> Why? Like I mean I know you're with (00:15:23) friends there. Like how many I know your (00:15:25) your buddy was there. You were visiting. (00:15:26) and his three other roommates were (00:15:28) there. And some of them did go out and (00:15:29) go like do some partying, but they were (00:15:31) back um either the morning of or the (00:15:34) night just like they went out like (00:15:36) midnight, got back at like 2:00 a.m. (00:15:38) Like they didn't stay out too terribly (00:15:39) long. It was also a weekend before their (00:15:42) first day of school started. So, they (00:15:43) didn't want to go crazy. (00:15:45) >> I am shocked. That was like one of the (00:15:47) craziest weekends. (00:15:48) >> Really? (00:15:48) >> Yeah. Because everybody wanted to be (00:15:49) like, "Woo, we don't have class yet." (00:15:52) >> No, that No, they were like, "Oh, we (00:15:54) have class soon. we're not going to go (00:15:56) crazy. (00:15:57) >> Wow. (00:15:58) >> I'm proud, dude. I'm proud of you, man. (00:16:00) >> But they did, one of them did ask me if (00:16:02) I drink or like smoke. I was like, "No, (00:16:06) it's not my thing." And drinking is by (00:16:08) far probably never going to be my thing, (00:16:10) even as like an adult. Like, I wouldn't (00:16:12) I probably wouldn't come home from like (00:16:14) being a firefighter and have like a a (00:16:16) beer. I don't think I would. I don't (00:16:18) like the taste of beer. It tastes nasty. (00:16:20) And alcohol just doesn't really agree (00:16:22) with me. like it just doesn't agree with (00:16:24) me. (00:16:25) >> Yeah. It's um Well, you know, this this (00:16:28) might So, I I interviewed James Swanik. (00:16:32) You he made the Swanies, the Swany. (00:16:35) Yeah. Yeah. So, James Swanic came on the (00:16:37) podcast and he um so he used to be um (00:16:40) James Swanik used to be on ESPN. He used (00:16:42) to be like one of the anchors like (00:16:44) Really? Yeah. One of the broadcasters (00:16:45) and stuff like that. (00:16:47) >> And then he went off and kind of did his (00:16:48) own thing and then developed Swanies. (00:16:52) but his big thing now is helping people (00:16:54) go alcohol-f free, which is really (00:16:56) interesting. So, he's got like this (00:16:57) whole program and and I'll never forget (00:17:00) him coming on the podcast because like (00:17:02) everybody looks at liquor, especially (00:17:05) like expensive liquor, you know, like (00:17:07) the high-end bourbons and stuff like (00:17:09) that, the high-end vodkas and high-end (00:17:11) tequilas. He's like, "It's literally (00:17:14) poison in a fancy bottle." (00:17:16) >> Yeah. (00:17:16) >> And I'm like, "I never really thought of (00:17:18) it that way." He's like, "Yeah." He (00:17:19) goes, "Say it's the man-made (00:17:21) depression." (00:17:22) >> Oh, wow. But like, yeah, I mean, there (00:17:24) is something to that, but like he also (00:17:27) talks about, he's like, "Think about (00:17:28) it." He goes, "When you go to a (00:17:30) restaurant," he goes, "Would you would (00:17:33) you would your if your server came over (00:17:35) and said, "Here, I'm going to pour this (00:17:37) glass of poison into this glass and (00:17:39) you're going to drink it, and you're (00:17:41) going to pay 20 bucks for it." Like, (00:17:45) people wouldn't probably sign up for (00:17:46) that. But we'll drink. But we'll drink. (00:17:48) will buy a drink for like 15 bucks, you (00:17:51) know, like a high-end bourbon or (00:17:52) something like that. And that's exactly (00:17:54) what we're doing. (00:17:55) >> Yeah. (00:17:55) >> Nothing against doing it. I mean, like (00:17:57) there's a lot of people out there that (00:17:59) that, (00:18:00) >> you know, hey, we we love a good drink, (00:18:03) you know, but kind of like also you just (00:18:05) sort of have to look at it for what it (00:18:06) is. It's it's a toxin that your body was (00:18:08) actually never meant to intake. (00:18:10) >> Yeah. You know, I don't know how some (00:18:12) people can actually like drink that (00:18:13) stuff and like use it for like parties. (00:18:17) Like it is not my thing. It's really not (00:18:20) my thing. Like it's just not something I (00:18:22) like and it's not something u that (00:18:25) tastes good and it's not something that (00:18:27) is worth in the morning. (00:18:29) >> That's true. I love how Jim Gaffigan (00:18:31) jokes about it. He goes because you (00:18:32) could you go to a bar and you know if (00:18:36) you get along with people at the bar (00:18:38) like let me buy you around. That's not a (00:18:40) big deal, right? That's actually (00:18:41) socially accepted. But it's like you (00:18:43) wouldn't go up to the same person as the (00:18:44) same stranger and be like, "Me and you, (00:18:47) we're going to get some jalapeno (00:18:48) poppers." (00:18:49) >> Yeah, that's true. Me and you are going (00:18:51) to get some toasted raviolis. Just me (00:18:53) and you. (00:18:53) >> It's nachos. (00:18:55) >> Which, by the way, anybody outside of (00:18:56) St. Louis is like, "What is a toasted (00:18:58) ravioli?" (00:18:59) >> What? (00:18:59) >> It's a St. Louis thing. Yeah. I didn't (00:19:01) know that. (00:19:02) >> Yeah, it's a St. Louis thing. So, (00:19:03) toasted raviolis. So, why why don't you (00:19:06) tell the audience what a toasted ravioli (00:19:08) even is? Well, do other people know what (00:19:09) ravioli is? (00:19:10) >> Of course they do. (00:19:12) >> Okay, good. I'd hope so. It's basically (00:19:14) ravioli (00:19:16) that's like I don't know. It's almost (00:19:19) like this breaded texture. (00:19:21) >> Yeah, it's breaded. (00:19:22) >> Um that's like obviously it's toasted. (00:19:26) >> Deep fried. (00:19:27) >> Deep fried. (00:19:27) >> Deep fried. (00:19:28) >> Oh, I thought I don't I didn't know (00:19:31) that. And I'm in Missouri so (00:19:33) >> Yeah. So, anybody outside of St. Louis? (00:19:36) Gooey buttercake, toasted raviolis. (00:19:39) >> Gooey buttercake is not a thing out (00:19:40) there. (00:19:40) >> People have no idea what it is. (00:19:42) >> What? (00:19:42) >> Yeah. People are like, "What is gooey (00:19:44) buttercake? Here's gooey buttercake. I'm (00:19:45) giving we're giving everybody, you know, (00:19:48) a St. Louis thing. Think of a brownie (00:19:51) that doesn't have chocolate but is made (00:19:53) with butter and powdered sugar. That's (00:19:56) pretty much the consistency of gooey (00:19:57) buttercake. (00:19:58) >> It's really good. (00:19:59) >> It is delicious." And, you know, quick (00:20:04) summer smash. I think it was Summer (00:20:06) Smash for first form. They did a limited (00:20:09) release of level one gooey buttercake (00:20:12) protein powder and I was like I remember (00:20:14) that (00:20:15) >> dude I went well that's because it was (00:20:16) limited like super limited. It was like (00:20:18) only a few brickandmortar supplement (00:20:20) superstores got it and I went into I was (00:20:23) like do you guys have this and they're (00:20:25) like no we cannot keep our hands on it. (00:20:27) And so one of the guys who works there (00:20:28) is like, "Dude, I'll if we get another (00:20:30) canister, I'll set it aside for you." (00:20:32) But I'm like, "If I get that, that's (00:20:34) like that's like buying a stock that's (00:20:37) going to be worth a lot of money. It's (00:20:39) going to be so good." But (00:20:40) >> oh my gosh. (00:20:41) >> Anyway, so that's that's St. Louis for (00:20:43) But I going back to what we were saying. (00:20:45) I'm I'm really really proud of you, man, (00:20:46) for for making that decision. You're (00:20:49) away from home. We would have never (00:20:50) known, you know? It's like (00:20:52) >> you would have known when I got home. We (00:20:53) would have kn we would have known two (00:20:55) seconds when you walked in because we (00:20:57) know the look on somebody's face when (00:20:58) they've had a few drinks. So (00:21:00) >> like a zombie. (00:21:02) >> Let's talk about this. We've talked (00:21:03) about a little bit of your independence. (00:21:05) We've talked a little bit about not (00:21:07) having structure. Let's let's talk to (00:21:10) Let's talk about um you and us as your (00:21:15) parents, how we disagree (00:21:19) with with things. Um, (00:21:21) >> I like a few things that we mostly (00:21:23) disagree with. (00:21:23) >> Okay. Do you want to go first or or do (00:21:25) you want me to kind of set the stage? (00:21:28) >> Well, what go ahead and set the stage if (00:21:30) you want. (00:21:31) >> I'll give you my interpretation of how (00:21:34) we go about disagreements in in this (00:21:37) house. And you can get you can tell me (00:21:39) if you think I'm if you agree with me or (00:21:42) if you want to add to it or whatever. (00:21:44) Um, but I I would actually love to know (00:21:47) what your opinion is. My opinion on (00:21:49) disagreements are all conversations in (00:21:53) this house are welcome. So like all of (00:21:55) them like a request is always welcome, (00:21:58) right? Something that you want, you (00:22:01) know, a viewpoint or whatever, like (00:22:03) those are always welcome and they're (00:22:05) always open for discussion. That's (00:22:07) that's how I feel about it. Just about (00:22:09) everything. Everything is open to (00:22:11) discussion, right? It's not like, you (00:22:13) know, we bring something up in this (00:22:15) house and we say something like we don't (00:22:16) talk about that in this house or that's (00:22:18) not what we do. Everything is open for (00:22:20) discussion. (00:22:20) >> Yeah. (00:22:21) >> Um I also think that disagreements I (00:22:25) would like to say that probably (00:22:28) nine out of 10 disagreements are usually (00:22:32) approached with curiosity (00:22:34) >> of like let me try to understand like (00:22:37) your side of it. You know, it's like I (00:22:39) know like the way when I grew up like it (00:22:42) was if you disagreed with your parents, (00:22:44) it was like, uh, you better get on my (00:22:46) side of the fence really fast on this (00:22:48) viewpoint, otherwise you're in trouble. (00:22:50) Like that was kind of like the view. (00:22:52) >> But I think in our house, it's it's (00:22:54) actually okay if we disagree, but I (00:22:56) think it's really important that we (00:22:57) respect each other's viewpoint. And I (00:22:59) think we're really really good about (00:23:01) hearing each other out. Like so for (00:23:03) instance, I think me and your mom are (00:23:05) pretty good about like we're always like (00:23:07) tell me more about what you're feeling (00:23:08) about this situation. Tell me tell me (00:23:10) your viewpoints. Tell me why you think (00:23:13) this way. And then we receive that and I (00:23:17) think a lot of times it will stop me and (00:23:19) mama like let me think about that and (00:23:22) let me let me consider that viewpoint. (00:23:24) And then I think a lot of sometimes (00:23:26) we'll even come back to you and be like (00:23:28) you know that was a good point or this (00:23:30) is a good point. you know what like so (00:23:33) we talk about it and then there are (00:23:34) other times too we're like you know what (00:23:36) we we disagree on that (00:23:38) >> but I think we disagree (00:23:40) pretty civily right and uh but we hear (00:23:43) each other out and there's always this (00:23:44) element I think of safety in our house (00:23:46) so you can talk about these things (00:23:47) >> I do think that there are times when you (00:23:51) were younger and it was more like I (00:23:55) appreciate that you feel that way and I (00:23:57) appreciate that's your viewpoint but (00:23:58) we're not doing that you know but I but (00:24:01) I I think that there were always things (00:24:02) open to discussion. (00:24:03) >> I think whatever I'm about to say is (00:24:05) probably that right there. (00:24:06) >> Okay. (00:24:07) >> Like it was more like the school stuff (00:24:10) like (00:24:12) um and whenever I say disagreements I I (00:24:15) think what I'm really thinking of is (00:24:18) more of like an argument almost like I I (00:24:22) don't really (00:24:24) I I mean I can't really remember (00:24:26) something that we really disagreed on. (00:24:28) Do you at all? (00:24:31) H (00:24:32) >> the only thing I can think of as me (00:24:33) disagreeing is like (00:24:36) why I think homework is stupid in high (00:24:39) school, but that's more of just me (00:24:41) complaining. (00:24:42) Yeah, I'm trying to think of like (00:24:46) things that (00:24:49) I would I I guess the thing is no, I I (00:24:51) really can't think of like (00:24:55) I I I remember like bumps in the road (00:24:57) and I remember things that we would talk (00:25:00) about and sometimes we would talk about (00:25:02) intently or intensely, but I don't I (00:25:05) can't recall a whole lot of things of (00:25:08) like this is what I want to do (00:25:10) >> and you're not doing (00:25:12) type thing. (00:25:13) >> Yeah. (00:25:13) >> I don't know. Am I wrong or am I just is (00:25:16) my memory not serving me right? (00:25:19) >> No, that sounds about right. (00:25:21) >> I mean, I think this is right in line (00:25:23) actually with our fourth point as well, (00:25:24) which is the importance of respect, (00:25:25) communication, and space. (00:25:27) >> Yeah, (00:25:27) >> because we're talking about that as (00:25:29) well. It's like (00:25:30) >> we want to create a space where, you (00:25:34) know, all communication is welcome, all (00:25:36) points are welcome. Um, (00:25:39) I think let me let me explain one other (00:25:41) thing too. I think we're also pretty (00:25:44) good about in this house. All emotions (00:25:47) are welcome. (00:25:48) >> If you're sad, feel sad. If you're (00:25:50) angry, feel angry. If you're upset, feel (00:25:53) upset. But here's the other thing we (00:25:56) say. All emotions are welcome, but not (00:25:58) all behaviors are welcome. (00:25:59) >> Yeah. (00:25:59) >> So, it's like if you're angry, it's be (00:26:03) angry. Like it's okay to feel anger, (00:26:05) >> but don't don't punch a hole in your (00:26:07) wall (00:26:08) >> or don't punch your brother in the head. (00:26:12) >> Most of the time, actually, whenever I (00:26:13) took out my anger, I mostly would start (00:26:16) fights with Mason. Mostly arguments, (00:26:18) though. It would never be like fist (00:26:20) fights. I mean, there were occasional (00:26:22) times where it would be fist fights and (00:26:23) you guys would have to break it up. Do (00:26:25) you remember that one time where like (00:26:27) you and Mason were in a huge fight and I (00:26:29) like had to jump over the couch and (00:26:32) tackle both of you guys and get in (00:26:34) between you guys? (00:26:36) >> Yep. Are you being serious? (00:26:38) >> No. (00:26:38) >> I was going to say I don't remember (00:26:40) something like that. I can't Are you (00:26:42) being Are you being No. (00:26:43) >> Are you making up a story? (00:26:45) >> I don't remember that many fights though (00:26:46) that you started. In fact, I there's one (00:26:48) thing that I really want to highlight (00:26:50) that you do well. So, we have a punching (00:26:53) we have we have what's called a bob a (00:26:55) body opponent b. So, he's like a he's a (00:26:59) torso with a face. I'm sure you guys (00:27:01) probably seen this. Like you fill the (00:27:02) base with water. He has no arms, no (00:27:04) legs, but he's got a face and a body. (00:27:05) But you can go out there and just beat (00:27:06) the living snot out of this thing. (00:27:08) >> Yeah. (00:27:08) >> And I know in times where you have felt (00:27:12) stress or anger, you put the gloves on, (00:27:14) you go out there and just beat the snot (00:27:17) out of that thing. (00:27:18) >> Yeah. I really did that my senior year (00:27:20) of high school. It was like that was (00:27:22) also like my first time being in a (00:27:23) long-distance relationship. That wasn't (00:27:25) easy. I mean, we're still in the (00:27:26) relationship. We're still doing it. So, (00:27:28) we're good. (00:27:29) >> Wait, you're still doing it? (00:27:33) >> That's terrible. Just joking. We're (00:27:36) still in the relationship is what I was (00:27:39) trying to say. Still in the (00:27:40) relationship. We're still doing long (00:27:41) distance. Um, (00:27:44) and my first like couple months of it, I (00:27:47) was like, "This is really hard and I (00:27:50) don't like this." But I would I would (00:27:52) prioritize um beating up Bob or going to (00:27:56) the gym, but just I found ways to to try (00:28:01) and forget about like my worries. Like (00:28:04) cuz my worries were like so (00:28:08) they weren't like realistic really. They (00:28:11) were just like, "My girlfriend now, like (00:28:14) she's still like, I love you. Like, you (00:28:17) don't need to worry about anything. I'm (00:28:18) not going to cheat on you. You don't (00:28:20) have to worry about that. I am extremely (00:28:24) honest. I will I have a very guilty (00:28:26) conscience if I do something wrong." So, (00:28:28) I would tell you if I did it if I did (00:28:30) something wrong. I was like, "Okay, I'm (00:28:32) extremely um I am a really good (00:28:34) communicator. I'd say me and her I've (00:28:37) like these qualities that we that I love (00:28:40) about her. I try to do just as good, (00:28:43) maybe even better. I don't know. (00:28:46) >> You do? (00:28:46) >> I um but anyways um so I was like I got (00:28:50) to stop worrying because I I can't this (00:28:53) is just going to affect my mental (00:28:56) health. So I need to And you know what I (00:28:59) did? I found different music to listen (00:29:02) to to try and calm myself. You know what (00:29:04) I found more relaxing? (00:29:07) >> Classical orchestra music. (00:29:08) >> Oh, that's good stuff. (00:29:10) >> Yeah. I mean, it was very interesting is (00:29:13) every time I listen to it, it gives me (00:29:14) that that nostalgic feeling of like back (00:29:17) in sen like beginning of senior year (00:29:19) trying to like relax and find a way to (00:29:22) calm down. And I would also do without (00:29:25) like a phone, I would get a deck of (00:29:27) cards and play solitire with myself. (00:29:29) >> That's a good idea. I just I tried to (00:29:31) find so many ways to distract myself. (00:29:34) I'd go on walks. I would play games like (00:29:38) solitire. I would play video games. I (00:29:41) would work out. I would hiphop. I would (00:29:43) I would try and socialize with my (00:29:45) friends as much as I could at school, (00:29:48) like just to forget about it. But it was (00:29:50) really hard. Eventually, I got over it (00:29:53) because I would see her more often than (00:29:55) I thought cuz she comes back and visits (00:29:58) and she was back the entire summer and (00:30:01) she's going to do it again um next (00:30:04) summer and she's going to be back in (00:30:06) like two weeks, two and a half weeks to (00:30:09) just visit. So, I don't have anything to (00:30:12) really worry about anymore. And I'd say (00:30:14) it's gotten a lot easier. (00:30:16) >> That's good, man. That is really good. (00:30:17) That's just my way of like coping. (00:30:21) >> I get it. Yeah. I mean I I think that (00:30:24) those are (00:30:27) his body. I think those are great coping (00:30:29) mechanisms because I think what you'll (00:30:32) find growing up and I think that this is (00:30:34) this is a conversation and what we're (00:30:36) about ready to talk about right now and (00:30:37) this is this kind of unexpected but it's (00:30:39) it's a good one which is coping (00:30:42) mechanisms. like you you are not going (00:30:45) to live this life without (00:30:49) um severe adversity coming your way. (00:30:52) >> Oh yeah. (00:30:53) >> Severe adversity, stress. And it's not (00:30:55) necessarily the stress that comes at (00:30:57) you, it's how you handle it. And I think (00:31:01) one of the things that men can always do (00:31:04) a better job of is how do we how do we (00:31:06) handle that stress? What do we do with (00:31:08) that stress? How do we cope with it? And (00:31:10) there are great coping mechanisms and (00:31:12) there are also coping mechanisms that (00:31:14) are very harmful. So like you know you (00:31:16) get into drugs, you get into alcohol, (00:31:18) you get into porn, you get into all (00:31:19) these things that are kind of like (00:31:21) shadow, you know, dark things. (00:31:23) >> And those paths are not going to lead (00:31:26) you to a good place. However, if you if (00:31:30) you feel angry, it's it's a really good (00:31:33) thing to go to the gym. You know, it's (00:31:35) it's a really good thing to go for a (00:31:37) run, go take an ice plunge, go for a (00:31:38) hike. I just did (00:31:41) >> the ice plunge. (00:31:42) >> Yeah. I uh I actually have a (00:31:44) >> So I have a client of mine who uh he's (00:31:46) in he's in one of my groups that I run (00:31:49) >> and um that's one of the things that (00:31:51) when he feels stress he cold plunges. (00:31:54) >> Really? (00:31:54) >> And I'm like really and and I don't (00:31:57) think to cold plunge when I'm stressed. (00:31:58) I'm like why do you do that? He's like (00:31:59) dude he's like the flood of dopamine (00:32:02) that that he gets like getting out of (00:32:04) that thing cuz your brain does get (00:32:06) flooded with dopamine when you get out. (00:32:07) It's like your body's trying to warm up. (00:32:09) >> Yeah. (00:32:10) >> And there's just such tremendous health (00:32:13) benefits of you three minutes in that in (00:32:16) that ice bath and then it's actually the (00:32:18) recovery and the warm up that bring get (00:32:21) brings all those good feelings to your (00:32:23) body and to your mind. So I'm like, (00:32:24) "Wow, that's it's a good idea." I don't (00:32:26) I don't know if I'm convinced. What's (00:32:29) up, beautiful? (00:32:31) What you doing? (00:32:34) Hi, (00:32:36) ladies and gentlemen. (00:32:37) This interruption on today's podcast is (00:32:40) brought to you by my hot wife who is (00:32:42) suddenly in our office. What's going on? (00:32:45) Hot, sweaty wife. We're in the middle of (00:32:47) recording. Yeah, the audience wants to (00:32:50) hear from you again. It's been a couple (00:32:52) weeks. (00:32:52) >> You should say hi. (00:32:56) >> Just say hi. (00:32:58) >> Hello. (00:33:02) >> You look good. (00:33:08) I forgot what I was saying. (00:33:10) >> Uh, coping mechanism. (00:33:11) >> Coping mechanisms. Yes. (00:33:12) >> Yeah. Sponge. (00:33:15) >> Whenever I see your mom in yoga pants, (00:33:17) that's what makes me feel better. (00:33:19) >> That's your coping mechanism. (00:33:21) >> What a coping mechanism. (00:33:22) >> Cuz she wears them every day. But no. (00:33:24) Um, but yeah, I think having positive (00:33:26) coping mechanisms are are something (00:33:28) really really good. And plus like having (00:33:30) a list like on the ready, you know, like (00:33:33) that, like being like, "Hey, like, you (00:33:35) know, stuff's hitting the fan, I can go (00:33:37) cold plunge. Stuff's hitting the fan, I (00:33:39) can go hike." You know, things don't (00:33:41) feel right, I can go work out. You know, (00:33:42) things like that that are really, really (00:33:44) good. Um, as as you get older. (00:33:46) >> Yeah. Whenever I took my when I was (00:33:48) getting ice for my ice bath, I literally (00:33:51) went I I was at a gas station and I ran (00:33:54) to the cashier. I was like, "I need five (00:33:56) large bags or four large bags of ice." (00:33:58) Like, "Who are you trying to freeze?" I (00:34:01) said, "Myself. (00:34:03) >> Myself." And they're like, (00:34:04) >> "Whoa, (00:34:06) that's impressive. I could never." (00:34:10) >> So, that that is impressive. I mean, (00:34:12) that's (00:34:14) I don't know. I can't find I I I can't I (00:34:18) just can't find the love in it. (00:34:20) >> Yeah, cuz you're a kid. When it comes to (00:34:22) that, I am I'm just like I I know it's (00:34:24) good for me. I know there's all these (00:34:26) benefits. (00:34:27) >> Good for your skin. (00:34:28) >> I have no desire to do it. None. Here's (00:34:32) the I think I think here's here's the (00:34:34) here's the thing that I don't like about (00:34:37) it. (00:34:38) So, I don't I hope this is not like a (00:34:41) health issue, but like I feel (00:34:45) my heart start to beat really weird. (00:34:49) Like it almost takes my breath away. (00:34:51) Like I feel like my like my heart rate (00:34:54) it either increases, decreases, I don't (00:34:56) know, but I'm like and I just it's like (00:34:58) it's almost like I I feel like my heart (00:35:02) rate does something very very odd and I (00:35:04) can't catch my breath almost and it just (00:35:06) feels like super uncomfortable to me. I (00:35:08) don't like it. (00:35:09) >> That's why you have to box breathe. (00:35:10) >> I know. I just I (00:35:13) again I don't know what it is but like (00:35:15) I'm just like I hate I would (00:35:17) >> You handled it just fine with this (00:35:19) choir. No, I didn't. Oh, (00:35:21) >> yeah. You handled a lot better than the (00:35:23) last time you did. (00:35:24) >> I I did, but I'll tell you, like, put me (00:35:26) in a sauna that's excruciatingly hot for (00:35:30) 30 minutes. I'll I'll I'll do that all (00:35:32) day long, but put me in a (00:35:34) >> 30 minutes is wild. (00:35:35) >> I usually go in the sauna in the gym for (00:35:37) 30 minutes. (00:35:38) >> Oh, I for wrestling and it it like took (00:35:41) so much out of me. It (00:35:42) >> it takes a lot out of me, but I feel (00:35:44) fantastic when I get out. But I would (00:35:46) rather do 30 minutes in a sauna than (00:35:48) three minutes in an ice bath. I know it (00:35:50) sounds crazy, but that's just I'd rather (00:35:52) sweat. (00:35:53) >> I do both. How about that? (00:35:55) >> That I I have So I have another oneonone (00:35:58) client and and every day he he (00:36:01) alternates between his sauna and his (00:36:04) coal plunge. (00:36:05) >> Oh, I'm like, dude, I was like, he's (00:36:07) like, yeah, I just love shock on my (00:36:09) body. He's like, I'll get in the cold (00:36:10) plunge for for two minutes and then I'll (00:36:12) get in the sauna for a few minutes. I'll (00:36:14) come back out and I'll get in this and (00:36:15) then get I'll coal punch again. I'm (00:36:17) like, you are crazy, man. Like, I just (00:36:20) have not. Anyway, we're getting off on a (00:36:22) tangent on like thing, but keep in mind (00:36:25) like this is one of the things as you (00:36:27) navigate life, you know, and as you (00:36:29) navigate, you know, just conflict and (00:36:31) things like that. And always, always, (00:36:33) always, I love the fact that you have (00:36:35) these positive things in your life that (00:36:36) you do. You don't drink. You're not (00:36:38) doing the drugs. You're not you're not (00:36:39) getting into porn. (00:36:41) >> I am doing like three rounds of heroin (00:36:43) every day. (00:36:46) It helps with my stress. (00:36:47) >> That's how I start my day. Okay. (00:36:50) >> Give me a syringe and a spoon with a (00:36:53) lighter. (00:36:54) Um well, listen, as as we wrap up here (00:36:57) today, um I I want you just to reflect (00:36:59) upon um this is a new era for you and I (00:37:03) want and new independence for you. What (00:37:06) has been what's been exciting for you as (00:37:10) far as independence goes and then what (00:37:11) has also been scary for you? (00:37:14) Um, the things that have been exciting (00:37:17) for me is the fact that I can take (00:37:20) things into my own hands and like really (00:37:23) just be an adult and just do things for (00:37:25) myself, which is nice cuz I mean I'm (00:37:27) always I've always been like a let me do (00:37:29) it myself. I can do this. And I mean (00:37:32) it's pretty awesome that I can do these (00:37:33) things myself. I'm a big boy now. I can (00:37:36) go grocery shopping myself. (00:37:39) >> And you sound like it when you talk like (00:37:40) that. (00:37:41) >> Shut up. (00:37:42) I'm kidding. Um, but just those small (00:37:47) things of like just operating as an (00:37:49) adult, like doing the things that I need (00:37:51) to take care of, it feels good to just (00:37:53) do it on my own. Like instead of being (00:37:57) like I look in the fridge like, "Mom, (00:38:00) you didn't get the yogurt I wanted." And (00:38:02) I'm like 19 years old, still living at (00:38:04) home in college complaining that mom (00:38:08) didn't get the yogurt I needed for my (00:38:11) protein. But no, (00:38:13) >> how dare she? What is wrong with her? (00:38:15) >> But no, I start doing those things my (00:38:16) own. But like the things I'm really and (00:38:19) the fact that I can work at my own pace. (00:38:22) I mean, I did say that is kind of like (00:38:24) not my favorite thing, but it also it (00:38:26) also gives me the the the chance and (00:38:29) opportunity to (00:38:31) um better my skills of time management (00:38:33) and just taking initiative to just (00:38:36) anything. (00:38:37) >> That's good. That's good. I like that. (00:38:40) >> And the things that I'm really scared of (00:38:42) is (00:38:43) what the future holds with paramedics (00:38:46) and and being a firefighter. I don't (00:38:48) know what to expect. I'm sure I'll see (00:38:51) some horrible gruesome things. (00:38:53) I have a backup plan in case that is not (00:38:56) the place I want or not the path I want (00:38:57) to go on. (00:38:58) >> What's your backup plan? (00:38:59) >> Just like go into like trade school and (00:39:01) probably do mechanics. I like working (00:39:04) with my hands. I love cars. So, probably (00:39:06) some mechanics, which I would do as like (00:39:09) a side thing, but (00:39:12) if firefighting isn't the way, I'm just (00:39:14) going to kind of do that stuff. Uh it's (00:39:17) it's scary. And (00:39:20) sometimes whenever I have to (00:39:23) whenever I realize I have to do these (00:39:25) things myself, I'm just like, "Oh my (00:39:26) gosh, (00:39:28) being an adult is is hard at first and (00:39:30) it's it's kind of scary." (00:39:32) >> It can be. Yeah. But you know, (00:39:35) >> sounds like such a baby. (00:39:37) >> You don't you sound like a young man (00:39:39) who's growing up and the the future is (00:39:44) unknown, you know? I mean, I'm 50 and (00:39:49) I'm nervous about the future. (00:39:52) >> What are you nervous about? Retirement. (00:39:56) >> I'm worried whether or not I can get to (00:39:58) bingo on time. (00:40:02) >> No, I mean like, you know, I'm I'm at (00:40:05) that age, man, where like, (00:40:08) you know, like over the I mean, like my (00:40:10) best friend's mom just passed away and (00:40:12) she was 67. (00:40:15) Yeah. And that's 17 years from from (00:40:20) where I'm at right now. Like here's what (00:40:23) I'm nervous about. I have more time (00:40:26) behind me than I do in front of me now. (00:40:28) That's that's the life that I'm at. You (00:40:30) you on the other hand have more time in (00:40:32) front of you than you do behind you. So (00:40:35) like I feel the clock ticking. I feel (00:40:40) urgency which um to be honest though (00:40:42) like I sort of embrace that. like me and (00:40:44) your mom, we we went away um back in in (00:40:48) in August. Um we went to Austin for the (00:40:51) weekend cuz I was on I was doing some (00:40:53) media down there and we were talking (00:40:54) about what what like the rest of our (00:40:57) life looks like and why we're nervous (00:40:59) about it and it and to be honest like I (00:41:02) want to I want to live life to the (00:41:05) fullest, you know? And I'm always like (00:41:07) asking myself if I'm doing that, right? (00:41:09) Because I over time your your body does (00:41:15) just start to give out like it or not, (00:41:18) it happens. So I want to do as much as I (00:41:21) can like with you guys with mom, (00:41:25) you know, while I can. Yeah. (00:41:26) >> And I'll tell you like recovering from (00:41:28) this knee injury is like a super strong (00:41:30) reminder that the body is fragile. it (00:41:34) it's it's it's prone to breakdown and (00:41:36) injury. That's why it's so important (00:41:38) that we take care of it. And um it's a (00:41:41) strong reminder of like you need to like (00:41:42) embrace like your health and your youth (00:41:45) while while you have it and to not get (00:41:48) too crazy busy trying to do all these (00:41:50) other things. Like you have to actually (00:41:53) live your life and live intentionally. (00:41:54) And that that to be honest like when I (00:41:57) say that I'm nervous about the future, (00:41:59) there's a part of me that's nervous not (00:42:00) to be doing that. And I need to be (00:42:02) constantly reminding myself of that. So (00:42:03) yeah, there's there's that. (00:42:05) >> That's that's fair, honestly. (00:42:07) >> Yeah. I mean, you probably get there (00:42:08) when you're like 50. And (00:42:10) >> well, who knows how much time we have (00:42:12) left on this earth. (00:42:13) >> Yeah, (00:42:14) >> like only only time will tell. (00:42:16) >> It's true. I mean, we could go today. (00:42:18) You never know, but hopefully not. (00:42:20) >> Could explode. (00:42:21) >> It could. But hey, as we wrap up here, (00:42:24) um, do you know what yesterday was? (00:42:28) >> No. the launch of my bow. (00:42:32) >> Yeah, the pursuit of legendary (00:42:34) fatherhood is officially out as of (00:42:36) >> Yeah, as of yesterday. As of yesterday. (00:42:39) We're going to have a link in the show (00:42:40) notes for you guys for the Amazon link. (00:42:43) And um but here's what I'll tell you. Um (00:42:46) I'm still going to keep to the end of (00:42:48) the month. I'm going to keep the landing (00:42:50) page up the dadge.com/leendarybook (00:42:54) because still to the end of September (00:42:55) for the next two weeks what I'm going to (00:42:57) be doing I'll I might even extend this. (00:42:59) I don't know. I'm I'm right now I'm just (00:43:01) going to keep it to the end of (00:43:02) September. But I'm going to keep that (00:43:04) landing page open that if you want to (00:43:06) order a signed copy of the book um for (00:43:09) $28, I am going to be giving still the (00:43:12) two courses that I did during the (00:43:14) pre-launch. So uh for free I have two (00:43:17) courses. They're $500 each. One is (00:43:19) creating more patience. That's for all (00:43:21) my dudes out there just like me. You (00:43:23) have you have a hard time with temper (00:43:25) and patience. I teach you six skills in (00:43:27) that course to be a more patient, calm, (00:43:28) and responsive father instead of (00:43:30) reactive one. So, there's that. I also (00:43:32) have another course I'm giving people (00:43:33) access to. That one's $500 as well. (00:43:36) Creating extraordinary marriage through (00:43:37) elevated communication, connection, and (00:43:39) intimacy. I teach you 11 skills on how (00:43:41) to communicate better with your wife. (00:43:42) So, if you guys go to the (00:43:43) dadedge.com1376 (00:43:48) for this show again, the (00:43:49) dadedge.com1376, (00:43:52) I will have a link in there for you uh (00:43:55) for the book. So, um as well as our (00:43:58) sponsor today, which is first form, but (00:44:01) if you want to order it on Amazon, you (00:44:03) can do that as well because it is live (00:44:05) as of yesterday. Another thing, this (00:44:08) podcast guys is for free. The one thing (00:44:11) that I ask is upon listening to today's (00:44:14) show, head on over to Spotify, leave us (00:44:15) a fivestar review, head on over to (00:44:17) iTunes, leave us a fivestar review over (00:44:19) there. Do me a favor, too. Mention (00:44:21) Ethan's name. Like, Ethan's giving his (00:44:23) time here for free. He's been a (00:44:25) tremendous co-host. I have I have really (00:44:27) loved this. you you've added so much (00:44:30) just flavor and context to I think our (00:44:33) weekly show because you you you add a (00:44:35) certain point of view and I think you (00:44:37) add experience here that quite frankly (00:44:41) no other dad podcast that I know of (00:44:44) gives. Like this is the only one the (00:44:47) only dad podcast out there I don't even (00:44:49) know many podcasts at all that have a (00:44:51) father and a son that do a weekly show. (00:44:53) So, I think this one is super unique and (00:44:55) I think your perspective is super unique (00:44:57) and I love and honor the fact that you (00:45:00) take the time to do this. Like, you (00:45:02) could say no to this. You really could. (00:45:04) >> But I like doing this. (00:45:05) >> I know your 17-year-old brother would (00:45:06) never sit there and be on that (00:45:08) microphone. He's like, "Nope." (00:45:09) >> Oh, he's very introverted. (00:45:10) >> He is. But I I do appreciate this. I (00:45:13) know the audience does, too. And guys, (00:45:14) if you appreciate Ethan um sharing his (00:45:18) perspective and being here, please leave (00:45:20) us a fivestar review, but mention his (00:45:21) name, not mine. and mention his name, (00:45:24) let him know. Let us know what you most (00:45:25) appreciate about the show and what you (00:45:27) most appreciate about him. It means the (00:45:28) world to us and it really really helps (00:45:31) the ranking of the podcast. So, if you (00:45:33) guys are loving the show, that's (00:45:35) actually what gets more eyes on the show (00:45:37) is the rating and the reviews. That's (00:45:39) actually what gets the show up the (00:45:40) charts. So, that's the game we play. (00:45:44) But, gentlemen, from my heart to you, (00:45:45) thank you so much for tuning in today. (00:45:47) Ethan, anything you want to say as we (00:45:48) head out of here today? (00:45:51) Um, I guess the last thing we kind of (00:45:54) mentioned about this whole topic, have a (00:45:58) coping mechanism that will bring (00:46:00) benefits to your life. (00:46:02) >> I agree. Go have a have a list of (00:46:05) positive things. (00:46:06) >> Yeah. (00:46:07) >> Can I share one more thing? (00:46:09) >> No. (00:46:09) >> Okay. (00:46:10) >> Yeah. Go ahead. (00:46:10) >> We'll just save it for next show. (00:46:11) >> No, go ahead. (00:46:13) >> Um, (00:46:15) so I'll I'll share this with you. You (00:46:17) and I have had many open conversations (00:46:19) about about porn. (00:46:21) >> Yes. (00:46:21) >> Right. (00:46:22) >> Yes, ma'am. (00:46:22) >> That's a coping mechanism for men. I I (00:46:26) don't look at porn. I haven't forever. (00:46:28) You and I have had very open (00:46:29) conversations about porn. (00:46:30) >> Yeah. (00:46:31) >> But here's what I do. Um cuz every man (00:46:34) at some point is tempted by it. I (00:46:36) actually have a list of five things that (00:46:37) I do if it ever if I ever if I'm ever (00:46:41) tempted by it. (00:46:41) >> Oh yeah. So, like one is like send a (00:46:44) nice text to you or your brother, like (00:46:47) write a note to mom, drop a a gift for (00:46:50) no reason for a client in the mail. So, (00:46:53) just things like that that like you (00:46:54) always have these list of positive (00:46:56) things you can do in a situation where (00:46:59) you're tempted to do something that (00:47:01) probably goes against your integrity. (00:47:03) >> You know what I try to do now? Whenever (00:47:04) I'm tempted, (00:47:06) >> what's that? (00:47:06) >> I call on to God. I say, "Lord, (00:47:11) >> I am tempted. (00:47:13) Take over my actions and take over my (00:47:15) mind to drive me away from this (00:47:18) temptation." (00:47:19) >> Oh, man. Dude, it said in the Bible that (00:47:20) God will not allow you to be tempted, (00:47:22) you know, past what you can take and (00:47:24) he'll always give you a way out. And (00:47:26) that that is the way out is to call on (00:47:29) him for support. (00:47:30) >> I mean, I can't say it's I mean, I've (00:47:33) been perfect at it. like it's my choice (00:47:36) on how I fall and if I don't want to (00:47:40) take that time to say that then that's (00:47:44) on me. (00:47:44) >> I hear you, man. Dude, I'm proud of you, (00:47:46) man. And we're even talking about this (00:47:49) stuff that's kind of difficult. But, but (00:47:50) you know what? We talk about this stuff (00:47:52) openly because that's what people deal (00:47:54) with. So, anyway, like I said, guys, (00:47:57) head on over to dadedge.com/1376 (00:47:59) for this show. Um, I'm going to have all (00:48:01) the goodies in there. first form um a (00:48:04) link for the book and like I said, (00:48:05) please go over to Spotify, leave us a (00:48:07) fivestar review. Go over to iTunes, (00:48:08) leave us a fivestar review as well. Go (00:48:10) out, gentlemen, and live legendary. Take (00:48:13) care.