Shaolin Warrior Master: Hidden Epidemic Nobody Talks About! This Modern Habit Is Killing Millions! (YouTube Video Transcript)

(00:00:00) Your YouTube transcript will appear here (00:00:02) You said to me, "The key to breaking (00:00:03) this brick isn't strength necessarily. (00:00:05) It's the ability to really, really (00:00:07) focus." So, can you show me you smashing (00:00:09) this brick? (00:00:15) Master Shaw Hungi is the world's most (00:00:17) hardcore monk. He uses his decades of (00:00:19) knowledge and techniques to help people (00:00:21) control their minds and overcome (00:00:22) society's biggest problems. This world (00:00:24) is filled with so much choice that it's (00:00:27) difficult to take a decision which (00:00:28) direction to go. what is right to do. (00:00:31) And so there is a lot of suffering with (00:00:33) the skills that you are developing (00:00:34) through kung fu training involves (00:00:36) methods and practices that give you the (00:00:38) ability to do this. But there are five (00:00:40) hindrances that make it difficult for (00:00:42) you to still keep your goal in the mind. (00:00:44) There is sensory desires, ill will, (00:00:46) dullness, restlessness, and then (00:00:48) self-doubt. And to overcome the five (00:00:50) hindrances, you recommend the four-step (00:00:52) rain method. Yes. And with this, I make (00:00:54) it super simple. (00:00:56) So many of us live in the same cycles of (00:00:59) unhappiness and suffering. I I witnessed (00:01:01) it in my life as well because I felt I (00:01:03) was never enough. My father and mother (00:01:05) put a lot of pressure in terms of you (00:01:07) need to prove yourself and so I did all (00:01:09) these type of practices and methods that (00:01:11) made it possible to be where I am right (00:01:13) now. I wanted the recognition by my (00:01:15) father but it didn't happen because your (00:01:17) father passed away from cancer. Yeah. (00:01:20) [Music] (00:01:24) How does one let go of that and (00:01:26) therefore break the pattern? I will show (00:01:28) you some practices. Number one, (00:01:31) this has always blown my mind a little (00:01:33) bit. 53% of you that listen to this show (00:01:35) regularly haven't yet subscribed to the (00:01:38) show. So, could I ask you for a favor (00:01:39) before we start? If you like the show (00:01:41) and you like what we do here and you (00:01:42) want to support us, the free simple way (00:01:44) that you can do just that is by hitting (00:01:45) the subscribe button. And my commitment (00:01:47) to you is if you do that, then I'll do (00:01:49) everything in my power, me and my team, (00:01:50) to make sure that this show is better (00:01:52) for you every single week. We'll listen (00:01:54) to your feedback. We'll find the guests (00:01:56) that you want me to speak to, and we'll (00:01:57) continue to do what we do. Thank you so (00:01:59) much. (00:02:03) Master Sha (00:02:06) Hung, based on everything that's (00:02:08) happening in the world right now and the (00:02:10) work that you've committed your life to, (00:02:13) what is the mission that you are on and (00:02:15) why is it so important right now? (00:02:18) I do think that in this (00:02:21) world there have always been different (00:02:24) streams, different forces. (00:02:28) One of them leading to the betterment of (00:02:31) humanity, one of them leading to the (00:02:32) destruction of humanity. And I do think (00:02:36) that there are types of wisdom and (00:02:39) knowledge existing out there that very (00:02:42) easily without any (00:02:44) additional help for anything (00:02:46) else can be very useful for the people (00:02:50) nowadays. Yeah, you don't need to go (00:02:52) anywhere. The only thing you need to do (00:02:54) is take a moment, contemplate about (00:02:58) yourself, go into (00:03:00) yourself and find the answers there and (00:03:04) then decide for yourself which part and (00:03:07) what type of contribution would you like (00:03:10) to give to the world that you're living (00:03:12) in. I ultimately think this is what I'm (00:03:15) doing. And what is it that you see (00:03:17) people struggling with? because so many (00:03:19) people write to you, they they send (00:03:20) messages to you, they come and see you. (00:03:23) What is it that you hear they're (00:03:24) struggling with at a fundamental level? (00:03:26) I would say it's diversity and choice. (00:03:29) This world is filled with so much choice (00:03:32) meanwhile that it's difficult in a way (00:03:34) to take a decision which direction to (00:03:37) go, what is right to do, what is not (00:03:39) right to do. But ultimately, it's only (00:03:42) yourself who knows the answer. Which (00:03:44) means it comes to the essential (00:03:48) point. Learn more about yourself. This (00:03:52) is where it starts because if you have (00:03:54) the wrong perspective of who you are, (00:03:58) what you are, everything else in this (00:04:00) lifetime you base your decisions on is (00:04:02) just not not going to (00:04:04) be placed in the right direction. (00:04:08) And what are the the other things that (00:04:10) you hear people suffering with on a (00:04:12) daily basis in the modern world with the (00:04:14) way that the world is now? It's (00:04:15) digitalized. We're lonier than ever. (00:04:16) Mental health seems to be surging. What (00:04:19) are the like fundamental things they say (00:04:20) to you or that that you in infer through (00:04:23) what they're saying that they are (00:04:24) actually struggling with? So choice (00:04:26) overload of choice and an inability to (00:04:28) make a clear decision is number one. (00:04:31) So being perfectly honest, I usually do (00:04:35) not very much rely on what the people (00:04:38) tell me, what they (00:04:40) think, what problem they have. It's just (00:04:43) that I look and I can see already what I (00:04:46) think you need. And foremost one of (00:04:50) these and it's very (00:04:52) simple non-religious nothing about (00:04:55) believing it simply is the fact you (00:04:57) don't use your body as it is intended to (00:05:01) be very (00:05:03) simple. Yeah. You we you you sit many (00:05:06) people sit too much during the day. The (00:05:09) body is not active at all. A lot of work (00:05:13) a lot of energy investment is done with (00:05:16) the mind. (00:05:18) less energy investment is done really (00:05:21) with the body and that simply means for (00:05:24) me I can see there's a (00:05:26) disbalance whoever created us he did not (00:05:30) create us to sit with our butt on one (00:05:33) place and do thinking work the whole (00:05:35) time I do think a part of why we have (00:05:38) been created is to get out on the field (00:05:40) and just do something out there and what (00:05:43) is the cost (00:05:45) of not utilizing our body in the way (00:05:48) that it was meant to be utilized. (00:05:50) Unbalanced energies that can translate (00:05:53) into anxiety, that can translate into (00:05:58) dissatisfaction, that can translate into (00:06:01) continuously searching and never being (00:06:06) satisfied. And the most common thing, (00:06:10) not (00:06:11) realizing how precious the moments are (00:06:14) that you (00:06:16) have. And instead of replacing them with (00:06:19) illusions and dreams and assumptions (00:06:23) which are just not (00:06:24) real meaning everybody is not even (00:06:28) Buddhist, it's not Shaolin. It is common (00:06:31) understanding. We don't know if we wake (00:06:33) up tomorrow. It is like this. Yeah. But (00:06:36) our plans go. We have five years plans, (00:06:39) 10 years plans. We have short-term, (00:06:42) midterm plans. Yeah. The truth is we (00:06:44) don't know if we wake up (00:06:46) tomorrow. So of course I don't want to (00:06:49) make it like in sound negative. So just (00:06:52) live in the present moment without (00:06:54) planning. This is not what I'm saying. (00:06:57) But this is the challenge nowadays. How (00:07:00) do you balance out vision? (00:07:05) vision with (00:07:07) reality. Real the only thing real right (00:07:10) now is this. That's real for us. I can (00:07:15) feel it. You can hear it. You can sense (00:07:18) it. This is real. you nearly broke my (00:07:21) table and I was concerned because um (00:07:25) later on you will (00:07:27) be proving to me that you can break this (00:07:29) brick using your your mind and the (00:07:32) physical um preparation that you've done (00:07:34) which I find really really interesting (00:07:36) cuz I tried to smash this brick on the (00:07:37) floor and I couldn't. So all of the (00:07:39) things you talk about understanding (00:07:41) one's physical mind and and mastering it (00:07:43) but also understanding one's physical (00:07:44) body will find out if you can smash (00:07:48) through this brick. But on this point, I (00:07:50) I wanted to talk about an adjacent (00:07:51) subject, which is really like purpose, (00:07:54) what to do with one's life. And if we're (00:07:57) spending a little bit too much time (00:07:59) thinking off into the future um and not (00:08:01) enough time thinking in the present (00:08:02) moment, I'm wondering how purpose and (00:08:05) having a having a big dream for one's (00:08:07) life fits into this equation and if we (00:08:09) should have a purpose and if so, how do (00:08:11) we find our purpose? (00:08:14) So absolutely there is the field of (00:08:18) becoming conscious. Consciousness is a (00:08:20) big field. Then we have science is is (00:08:24) another very very big field. So some say (00:08:28) okay is it that consciousness creates (00:08:32) matter or is it the other way around? (00:08:36) Which one is which one is the (00:08:37) fundamental basis? What is the basis of (00:08:41) our interaction? So the truth is the (00:08:44) fact right now is regardless of science (00:08:47) no science how our evolution developed (00:08:50) right now we are here your body my body (00:08:53) we are (00:08:55) here this is what we are having right (00:08:58) now at the same time in the way of how (00:09:01) this lifestyle at the moment is we won't (00:09:04) have more than 50 more years to go in (00:09:06) that (00:09:07) body so very simple (00:09:11) without believing living without any (00:09:13) religious aspect. Once again, the truth (00:09:16) is the lifetime of what you carry right (00:09:19) now and what I carry right now, it's (00:09:22) limited. And now just imagine you would (00:09:25) be let's say the director of your own (00:09:30) movie. Jump out of the body and watch (00:09:33) yourself right now. You are sitting like (00:09:35) with Shi. We sit on the same table and (00:09:38) you are writing your story. (00:09:41) How do you want to write the story? You (00:09:43) want to afterwards, after this podcast, (00:09:46) you want to like feel (00:09:48) uncomfortable, feel unsafe, feel (00:09:51) unloved, feel like being just (00:09:54) unsatisfied with the whole life, cry or (00:09:57) anything like this or how do you imagine (00:09:59) what is a a a really nice way of living (00:10:03) for you the next 50 years. So and based (00:10:08) on (00:10:08) that purpose can be (00:10:11) different. You say I do like the travel. (00:10:14) I I do like to invest this lifetime in (00:10:18) this body to have the feeling at least (00:10:21) that I can contribute something to all (00:10:23) the fellow um brothers and sisters that (00:10:26) are around there. It makes me like I (00:10:29) wake up I like to do it. It gives me (00:10:32) purpose. So it is something very very (00:10:34) personal. (00:10:36) And which also means that in a way (00:10:39) speaking in in these terms right now I (00:10:44) do not believe that every human being (00:10:46) has the same purpose when it comes to (00:10:48) this type of (00:10:51) purpose but now there's another type of (00:10:56) purpose which is more or less personally (00:10:59) for me why do I (00:11:01) think that in the first place we have (00:11:04) been put with all these (00:11:07) possibilities and (00:11:09) uh positively said I do think it is a (00:11:14) blessing being able to just (00:11:18) experience. It's a blessing that we have (00:11:20) been granted the possibility of (00:11:25) simply experiencing what this existence (00:11:30) is capable of creating. including (00:11:36) everything, including the joy, including (00:11:38) the happiness, including the tears, (00:11:40) including the heartbreaks, all of this (00:11:43) without the separation. Whether you (00:11:45) prefer one area or (00:11:47) not, the one sometimes the one goes with (00:11:51) the (00:11:52) other. But the purpose in a way is just (00:11:56) be and (00:11:58) experience. The only thing that happens (00:12:02) and which is a big part nowadays is if (00:12:05) you (00:12:06) take your current existence too (00:12:11) serious. If you completely base your (00:12:15) identity, your (00:12:17) being on what you think you (00:12:21) are. But like I said, it's just a (00:12:24) picture right now. Yes. But just (00:12:26) sometimes make it very simple. jump out (00:12:29) of yourself and be the director. Be the (00:12:32) director of this (00:12:35) avatar and then it just opens another (00:12:39) perspective because in that moment you (00:12:42) just realize it's like a movie. (00:12:45) Not everything is always (00:12:47) positive but in the moment where there (00:12:49) are times of struggle (00:12:52) still not being caught inside your own (00:12:57) creation (00:12:58) identity (00:13:00) identity illusion of the self different (00:13:03) expressions for that it's a very helpful (00:13:06) way of thinking let's put it like this (00:13:09) because there are so many people that (00:13:10) say they are struggling to find meaning (00:13:13) in their life or they feel (00:13:14) purposelessness And you know, I get so (00:13:16) many messages from people all over the (00:13:17) world saying that they um they're saying (00:13:20) things like, "Is this it? Is this all my (00:13:23) life is?" (00:13:25) So, this is (00:13:27) literally also one one point that you (00:13:30) just mentioned is that it isn't there (00:13:33) more. That has always been a part that (00:13:36) followed me along the way. Yeah. (00:13:38) Especially now in the last three four (00:13:42) years after social media the algorithm (00:13:45) of social media really started also (00:13:47) pushing pushing us quite out (00:13:52) there. More requests were coming of (00:13:56) doing workshops, of doing podcasts, of (00:13:59) teaching here, of teaching there, of (00:14:01) making television show, of participating (00:14:04) in movies. And of course all together (00:14:08) with this doors start to open, different (00:14:11) things start to come in. But at some (00:14:16) point I just couldn't believe that this (00:14:18) is supposed to be the (00:14:22) purpose because it all still had to do (00:14:25) like had to do with (00:14:29) doing the constant (00:14:31) doing. Yeah. And there I felt in my life (00:14:36) now looking at this this couldn't be it. (00:14:39) So I I look for alternatives always and (00:14:42) always again especially feeling that (00:14:44) along the way of what you would say (00:14:47) achieving something being recognized at (00:14:49) something. Yeah. But the there's a (00:14:51) there's another side that goes hand in (00:14:53) hand with it that the public doesn't (00:14:56) see. There were times I could simply be (00:14:58) surrounded with like thousands thousands (00:15:01) of people but still feel (00:15:04) lonely. is not what you're surrounded (00:15:07) with, it's with what you are (00:15:11) connected. Yeah. And there I felt like (00:15:14) there is always again this type of (00:15:16) force. What is it that drives you (00:15:19) on? Going outwards, going outwards, (00:15:22) going outwards, you lose (00:15:24) yourself. But this self is the only (00:15:28) thing that can give you connection in (00:15:29) this life. And what do you need to be (00:15:32) connected to then? You talked about (00:15:35) being surrounded by thousands and being (00:15:36) lonely and it's really about what you're (00:15:38) connected to. What does one need to be (00:15:40) connected to? (00:15:43) Maybe before I answer you this question, (00:15:45) there's one thing I maybe want to like (00:15:48) mention beforehand. So when I went to (00:15:51) elementary school and also during my (00:15:53) school time, I actually for example (00:15:55) joined Christian Christian lesson. Yeah. (00:15:59) So by my parents I grew up with Buddhist (00:16:04) tradition let's say from the martial art (00:16:07) training I also got introduced into (00:16:09) so-called Zen (00:16:11) Buddhism because my father always told (00:16:14) me look son we are here in a foreign (00:16:16) country you're a foreigner it's always (00:16:18) better to have friends than to have (00:16:20) enemies that's why I made always friends (00:16:23) with everyone meaning I had a lot of (00:16:26) Russian friends I had a lot of Arab (00:16:28) Arabic friends. I had a lot of Turkish (00:16:30) friends. (00:16:31) Multicultural also meaning at some point (00:16:34) I also got like introduced into (00:16:37) Islam. Bottom line (00:16:39) is taking all of this knowledge from the (00:16:42) past into my (00:16:44) mind. No matter from which angle I'm (00:16:48) watching right (00:16:49) now, I do (00:16:53) believe that we all have a source. (00:16:57) There is a (00:16:59) source. So whether you call that source (00:17:03) is the (00:17:04) universe, whether you call the source it (00:17:07) is the God, whether this source is is (00:17:11) the the the infinite energy, I don't (00:17:13) know. There's so many different (00:17:15) expressions to (00:17:16) it. But when I look at all these (00:17:19) teachings, all are always pointing at (00:17:21) one and the same thing. (00:17:24) Let's just take the expression of yin (00:17:26) and yang. Yes, the symbol everybody (00:17:29) knows in the world. And there is that (00:17:32) nice saying yin and yang have a (00:17:35) mother. The mother sometimes simply (00:17:38) being illustrated as one (00:17:41) circle. So yin and yang as the (00:17:44) expression from duality, polarity, (00:17:47) existence of number two. Yeah. Where do (00:17:49) the two come from? They must come from (00:17:52) one. (00:17:53) So simple like in our way you are there (00:17:57) I am here one two where do we come from (00:18:01) there must be something that we have as (00:18:03) a common (00:18:04) denominator and this source is the only (00:18:07) thing that can connect (00:18:10) us because it's not your family it's not (00:18:13) my family they're still different that (00:18:15) is not (00:18:16) enough going just looking at we are (00:18:21) humans animals (00:18:24) name. Whatever and whoever gave us the (00:18:28) possibility to be here is the same who (00:18:32) gave you the permission is the same who (00:18:34) gave me the permission and the blessing. (00:18:37) And this is what I think this is the (00:18:39) level of mind. This is the level of (00:18:43) connection that never leaves you (00:18:47) lonely. This this is the one that I that (00:18:49) I mean being connected to the source. (00:18:52) Yes. Now, for someone that is listening (00:18:54) to this and is confused at this juncture (00:18:57) and they're asking themselves, what is (00:18:59) that source? You've described it in in (00:19:02) many potential ways, but it's the my (00:19:05) attempt at describing it is it is (00:19:08) ultimately where we came from. That is (00:19:11) that is the source. Is there a better (00:19:12) way of describing it for people that (00:19:14) might be unfamiliar with the concept? (00:19:17) First of all, I cannot speak without it (00:19:19) and it would make sense to everyone. (00:19:22) That's already the first very very (00:19:23) difficult part. That's why my intention (00:19:26) is never to say what is it. The only (00:19:30) thing I can do is to to like give (00:19:34) pointers. But ultimately there's only (00:19:36) one person who will be able to find it (00:19:39) out and it's not me finding it out for (00:19:41) somebody (00:19:42) else. Everybody will find out for (00:19:45) himself or herself. So every human (00:19:49) being I do think is at a different level (00:19:53) of his um of his growth of his (00:19:57) development and everybody gets what he (00:20:00) needs exactly in the moment where he is (00:20:03) in which is why I think everybody at (00:20:07) this moment in time is exactly where he (00:20:10) needs to be for the next elevation to (00:20:14) take place. The only thing you need to (00:20:16) do is look at yourself right now and (00:20:20) just find out what is (00:20:22) it that makes you (00:20:24) unhappy. What exactly is it that at this (00:20:28) moment in your life is binding (00:20:31) you and restricting you from moving on? (00:20:34) And this is the same question for (00:20:37) everyone. But the what you ultimately (00:20:40) need to tackle is different. In the (00:20:43) past, I sometimes played Super Mario and (00:20:47) Luigi. And it's the same. If you don't (00:20:49) like manage level number one, you won't (00:20:51) see level number two. The challenges (00:20:53) from number two won't come. The end boss (00:20:55) from number two is not going to come. (00:20:57) First, you finish level one. But once (00:21:00) number one is finished, you won't face (00:21:03) the same stuff (00:21:04) anymore. And there is something along (00:21:07) this line where it sometimes is like a (00:21:10) game at the same time. (00:21:12) Don't take it so serious helps. (00:21:16) On that point of we're all struggling (00:21:19) with something based on the levels we're (00:21:21) at. If you had to try and (00:21:23) summarize what the common answer is to (00:21:27) what people are struggling with, what do (00:21:29) you think that might be? I was thinking (00:21:30) about my um my best friends cuz (00:21:32) sometimes it's easier to step outside of (00:21:34) oneselves and look at others and I was (00:21:36) reflecting on the conversations I've had (00:21:37) with them over the last couple of weeks (00:21:39) about things they're struggling with. (00:21:40) And I would define a lot of it as (00:21:43) wanting. So wanting to improve their (00:21:46) businesses, wanting to improve maybe (00:21:49) their romantic situations and find love. (00:21:53) I would say the essence of it, the (00:21:54) suffering seems to be striving for (00:21:57) something that they're unable to grab. (00:22:00) Um, but I wondered if you had a (00:22:01) different perspective on that. Two (00:22:03) things that right now would come to my (00:22:05) mind. (00:22:09) There is always the struggle between (00:22:12) doing and (00:22:17) being. I would ask why are you doing? So (00:22:21) why why do you want to go into action? (00:22:26) Mostly there is a (00:22:28) goal. The goal why do you have that (00:22:31) goal? because you're aiming at receiving (00:22:35) something that in the moment where you (00:22:37) where you have it apparently you are (00:22:39) lacking. So that means this type of goal (00:22:44) setting in in my perspective I would (00:22:47) automatically refer to it already that (00:22:49) your goal setting already comes from a (00:22:52) space of (00:22:54) lack. You feel like you're lacking (00:22:57) something. That's why you need to do you (00:23:00) feel like you're lacking something (00:23:02) that's why you need to educate yourself (00:23:05) that okay so this is the one (00:23:08) direction now coming back maybe sounds (00:23:10) again too (00:23:12) philosophical connected with the (00:23:15) source there's nothing to add and (00:23:18) there's nothing to take away from (00:23:21) you so apparently when somebody has this (00:23:25) very very high ambition of doing (00:23:28) something, achieving (00:23:31) something, then most likely the chances (00:23:34) are there. This is not coming from a (00:23:36) connection to the (00:23:38) source. It is coming from the idea of (00:23:42) wanting to nourish or create an (00:23:46) identity. An (00:23:47) identity that represents something that (00:23:50) you think you want to (00:23:52) represent. Yeah. So this is the one area (00:23:55) the doing versus the being. And then the (00:23:59) second thing is that ultimately goes (00:24:02) hand in (00:24:03) hand with this way of living your life (00:24:06) is that you for that that one thing is (00:24:09) being forgotten along the along the (00:24:14) line. The truth (00:24:17) of that whoever and whatever you are (00:24:21) creating and are intending to create and (00:24:24) are intending to gather now and and (00:24:27) starting to um to attain (00:24:30) things your attainment maximum it's (00:24:33) going to last 100 (00:24:35) years. That is the other truth. (00:24:39) So, (00:24:41) and I do believe people understand (00:24:44) exactly what I (00:24:45) said. But there comes the fight now (00:24:50) again. The fight between (00:24:53) Yes. between this very strong identity (00:24:57) that wants to just maintain (00:24:59) itself and the other side of just forget (00:25:03) about your (00:25:05) identity. Be as you are. That's it. (00:25:09) No matter what you're going to attain, (00:25:11) you have it for 100 years afterward is (00:25:13) gone. So just be don't stress yourself (00:25:18) too much with what you don't (00:25:19) have. Well, (00:25:23) unfortunately, and this is always going (00:25:25) to continue like this. Unfortunately, (00:25:28) there are always three ways how you (00:25:30) going to learn this. (00:25:32) Sometimes people just need to have the (00:25:36) experience to realize okay I did it I (00:25:41) got it now I realize I don't need it but (00:25:44) in the first place you need to have it. (00:25:46) First way of (00:25:48) learning second way of learning you do (00:25:51) trust a certain teacher you do trust a (00:25:54) certain guide or a (00:25:56) mentor you just copy the way how he's (00:25:59) living his life. So your approach is you (00:26:01) just copy because you see oh apparently (00:26:04) the person lives a good life. So you (00:26:06) just copy. Second way of learning. And (00:26:09) the third way of learning is you maybe (00:26:11) have like a teacher or a master. He (00:26:13) tells you some wise words. You (00:26:16) contemplate about it. You think about it (00:26:19) and because you were thinking about it, (00:26:21) it already puts you on the alternative (00:26:24) path without you needing to try it for (00:26:26) yourself. So, and there will always be (00:26:28) people in this world in these three (00:26:33) categories because you know simply said (00:26:36) telling somebody look don't don't put (00:26:39) your hand in the (00:26:40) fire. They're still going to do it but (00:26:43) later is when they do it like two times (00:26:45) three times then it's done. But a lot of (00:26:47) people never get the thing that they're (00:26:49) pursuing. So, you know, someone might (00:26:51) say I want to be a millionaire or I want (00:26:53) to have a this Lamborghini sports car. (00:26:56) The majority of people who aspire to (00:26:58) that statistically won't ever reach it. (00:27:00) So they'll spend their whole life just (00:27:03) in pursuit. They'll never get the lesson (00:27:05) of path one where you try it and you (00:27:07) realize (00:27:08) that. So but maybe that is also already (00:27:14) the lesson involved in this person's (00:27:19) life. You have this goal in the mind. (00:27:22) you you put all your energy, all your (00:27:25) effort into trying to achieve that. (00:27:28) You're 20 years old, you're trying. (00:27:31) You're 30 years old, you're trying. 40 (00:27:33) years already, you're still trying. 50 (00:27:36) years, you still haven't let go of the (00:27:37) idea. (00:27:40) Well, at some point (00:27:43) hopefully you see (00:27:45) exactly (00:27:47) that that senseless approach of how you (00:27:51) personally already wasted 30 years of (00:27:54) following a goal with the conclusion of (00:27:56) two things. Number one, you haven't (00:27:58) achieved it yet or number two, you (00:28:00) didn't had the right way of achieving (00:28:03) it. But the bottom line is you have two (00:28:05) ways now. What to do? let go of the idea (00:28:08) that you need it and and redirect your (00:28:12) life (00:28:14) or redirect your (00:28:17) approach of how you still want to (00:28:19) achieve that goal if you don't want to (00:28:21) let go of it. But apparently one of (00:28:23) these two things is is not right. (00:28:27) And the more you want your life now, (00:28:30) let's say in the future to be quite (00:28:34) different than what you're used to, the (00:28:37) more you need to be able to let (00:28:40) go. Let go of patterns. Let go of the (00:28:44) way of thoughts that you had in the in (00:28:47) the last years and months. Now, if (00:28:49) nothing changes about that, there will (00:28:51) not come a new life. (00:28:54) So many of us live in patterns, the same (00:28:58) cycles, and we we end up getting the (00:29:00) same results and those results result in (00:29:03) unhappiness and suffering. And I was (00:29:04) speaking to a friend over the weekend (00:29:06) about how one of our other friends has (00:29:09) lived in a bit of a pattern and they've (00:29:11) been able to unable to find love and (00:29:14) companionship because of some things (00:29:16) that happened when they were younger. I (00:29:18) think they were bullied. So they have (00:29:20) this sort of deeper sense of having to (00:29:23) prove themselves and insecurity. And (00:29:25) this shows up all the time because when (00:29:26) they meet someone, they present a facade (00:29:29) which might not necessarily be accurate. (00:29:32) And then very quickly the relationship (00:29:35) ends because it was never real in the (00:29:37) first place. But this person's now aware (00:29:38) of it, but it's still happening over and (00:29:41) over again. They're still living out the (00:29:42) same pattern in their life and still (00:29:43) getting the same results and (00:29:45) dissatisfaction. So when we think about (00:29:47) trauma at an early age that results in (00:29:50) this sort of cyclical pattern of getting (00:29:52) same behavior, same results. I wondered (00:29:55) if you had a perspective on how one can (00:29:56) let go of that and therefore break the (00:29:59) pattern. So let me draw you a picture. (00:30:05) I was a four fouryear-old (00:30:09) boy having father and (00:30:12) mother Asian (00:30:15) origin being refugees from Vietnam Laos (00:30:19) meaning (00:30:21) they they ran away from the (00:30:25) war coming to Europe coming to Germany (00:30:28) with the idea that for the children to (00:30:31) have a better security on the one side (00:30:34) feeling more safe in Germany without the (00:30:37) instability that they witness in their (00:30:40) own country. And so of course father and (00:30:43) mother with this (00:30:44) idea put a lot of pressure in early ages (00:30:48) already in terms of you need to be good (00:30:51) at school, you need to achieve, yeah, (00:30:54) you need to prove yourself. So this is (00:30:56) the education from father and mother. At (00:30:58) the same time, with the age of four, I (00:31:01) went into a Shaolin kung fu school (00:31:03) learning martial arts. And every martial (00:31:06) artist practitioner probably knows (00:31:09) teachers and masters usually are not the (00:31:12) ones telling you, "Oh, yes, you did that (00:31:15) very good. Yes, very well." No, they (00:31:17) they just say, "Okay, more, deeper, (00:31:22) faster, harder." So bottom line is from (00:31:25) the age of four growing up the only (00:31:28) thing that in the way I felt was (00:31:31) actually you're never (00:31:33) enough. No matter what I brought home in (00:31:36) terms of grades if it was a B why was it (00:31:39) not A? If it was a A why is it not A+? (00:31:42) If I did already 100 push-ups question (00:31:44) is why don't you make 150? Yeah. If I (00:31:47) was fast already it was still not fast (00:31:49) enough. So constantly this type of never (00:31:52) enough. Okay. Ultimately meaning and (00:31:57) this is all now I can just tell you 40 (00:31:59) years later but now I can see it. (00:32:01) Ultimately meaning that at some point (00:32:04) this little boy started simply to build (00:32:07) up a shield. Build up such a shield to (00:32:11) be less dependent anymore on what other (00:32:16) people think about me. (00:32:19) Meaning I just started to rely (00:32:22) everything in my life purely on what I (00:32:26) think at the same time building up (00:32:28) emotional blockages and emotional walls (00:32:32) nothing to penetrate and at the same (00:32:34) time also nothing to express to the (00:32:36) outside. (00:32:37) So now having entered into like a very (00:32:41) new circumstance in my life where I need (00:32:46) to take into consideration the opinion (00:32:49) and the emotional state yeah of my (00:32:51) beloved of my partner of my (00:32:55) son. I can feel how my old patterns (00:32:59) sometimes are still trying to sneak in. (00:33:04) And so the only thing to do is what to (00:33:07) do to break patterns. Number one, you (00:33:09) need to see you have one. And number (00:33:12) two, you need to replace old patterns, (00:33:15) which ultimately mean patterns. It's (00:33:18) habitual behavior. It's it's habits. How (00:33:20) do you build habits by (00:33:23) continuous behavioral patterns that you (00:33:26) continuously do? So there is something (00:33:28) about consistency and continuity that (00:33:32) ultimately builds a pattern. (00:33:35) So and this is now where for example in (00:33:38) this field of martial arts that's (00:33:40) exactly what it's (00:33:42) about consistency of having a training (00:33:46) regimen every (00:33:48) day. This is yeah it's not helpful to (00:33:52) like six days per week do nothing and (00:33:55) then you go one day to the gym and and (00:33:58) give your everything. No, it's better (00:34:01) you have some type of consistency (00:34:03) throughout the whole day. This is what (00:34:06) builds patterns, healthy (00:34:08) patterns. Yeah. And so similar like this (00:34:11) I would describe now what is somebody (00:34:15) supposed to do? Number one, look at (00:34:18) yourself and see yourself. We are all (00:34:21) not (00:34:22) perfect, but according to the (00:34:24) circumstances that you are facing right (00:34:26) now (00:34:28) today, what type of character do you (00:34:30) think with what do you want to equip (00:34:33) your (00:34:34) character that he is able to go through (00:34:37) this current times in the best possible (00:34:40) manner? What is not useful for you (00:34:43) anymore, try to get rid of it. and get (00:34:46) your new skills in and then train those (00:34:50) and then train of course those new (00:34:52) patterns. We don't often think about (00:34:54) training some of the virtues that we (00:34:56) want to acquire and the patterns we want (00:34:58) to have. We we kind of think that we (00:35:00) have to select them and then we'll do (00:35:03) our best to live them. But the idea that (00:35:05) I might have to (00:35:06) train certain new behaviors is a really (00:35:10) compelling one because you're right, in (00:35:11) the context of any physical development, (00:35:13) I have to go to the gym and I have to do (00:35:16) my repetitions to build that thing, that (00:35:18) strength. But I um was just thinking (00:35:21) about creating a training regimen for (00:35:23) for certain behaviors (00:35:25) um and new patterns that I want in my (00:35:26) life and trying to make sure I do them (00:35:28) every day, which is not something that (00:35:31) I've I've ever considered. Three months (00:35:33) ago, you became a dad to a young boy to (00:35:37) a young son. Yes. Um, so you're now in (00:35:40) the process of raising a man yourself. (00:35:42) And there's a lot of dialogue at the (00:35:43) moment in the UK, but also just broadly (00:35:45) in the Western world around what it is (00:35:47) to be a man and how to to raise men. I (00:35:50) think much of this dialogue has been (00:35:51) sparked by some shocking statistics that (00:35:54) show young men are struggling now more (00:35:55) than ever in various ways. Um, I think (00:35:58) the single biggest killer of men under (00:35:59) the age of 45 is themselves. And also (00:36:02) there's just an overarching sense of I (00:36:04) think purposeless meaninglessness that (00:36:06) they're struggling in school more so (00:36:08) than women are. Some forecasts predict (00:36:10) that for every two women that graduate (00:36:13) university or college only one man will (00:36:16) graduate um in the near future. And it's (00:36:19) pretty it's pretty shocking. So when I (00:36:21) think about the way that you're intent (00:36:22) on raising your young your young man, (00:36:24) but also what it is that young men in (00:36:27) particular are missing in their lives, I (00:36:29) wondered if you had had an answer from (00:36:33) this (00:36:35) moment. There's one thing I can tell by (00:36:38) myself what I would absolutely prevent (00:36:42) when it would come, let's say, to the (00:36:44) education or what I share with my son. (00:36:48) Like I said, I felt I was never enough. (00:36:51) There was always something that (00:36:52) additionally needed to be done. So, (00:36:55) which literally means for me for my son (00:36:58) there is nothing to be done. There is (00:37:00) nothing he has to (00:37:05) achieve. If there if there would be (00:37:07) something it is stay (00:37:10) connected. So in terms (00:37:12) of I don't see myself as somebody who is (00:37:17) now having the responsibility to shape (00:37:20) my son. No, I only provide the (00:37:23) framework. I try to provide the most (00:37:27) safe framework for my son. He can try (00:37:30) out whatever he wants. If he fails, he (00:37:33) will learn by himself to get up again (00:37:36) and keep trying. So you know to fail and (00:37:41) then to (00:37:42) continue. I just want to build up this (00:37:46) framework as good as I can to make him (00:37:48) feel safe. Yeah. But trial and error is (00:37:52) what I do believe is the way how you (00:37:54) find (00:37:55) yourself. So definitely not being (00:37:58) spoiled but at the same time also not (00:38:01) like keeping something away from him (00:38:04) where where I make him feel like he's (00:38:06) not enough. So ultimately I do think in (00:38:09) the modern way of how to express it in (00:38:12) all these attachment theories very (00:38:14) simple of course it's the secure the (00:38:16) secure way of being a (00:38:20) stable own selfmade (00:38:25) self-sufficient (00:38:27) individual who knows his own value. Why? (00:38:31) Because he failed and got up. Why do you (00:38:34) think so many young men are (00:38:42) struggling? (00:38:44) No. Whatever shows up right now at at (00:38:48) this moment. Yeah. (00:38:50) 2025. It didn't start in 2025. (00:38:54) Whatever appears right now sometimes (00:38:57) it's the result of how things have been (00:39:00) handled, how the education has been from (00:39:03) previous years, whether it's the last 10 (00:39:05) years, whether it's the last 20 years. (00:39:07) So it's not necessarily what did the (00:39:10) generation right now do did wrong, let's (00:39:13) say. No, it's also the question of what (00:39:16) did the previous generation missed to (00:39:20) keep passing on that ultimately led to (00:39:24) the result that we have nowadays. So, (00:39:27) and this is the question (00:39:31) where where I do think it's (00:39:33) multi-layered. (00:39:35) You gave a a TED talk in 2020 almost 5 (00:39:39) years ago now about the five hindrances (00:39:44) What are the five hindrances? You (00:39:47) describe them as five mental states that (00:39:49) are holding us back. Let's put the (00:39:53) context (00:39:56) first. Take it simple. Just you have a (00:40:00) goal setting. You set yourself whatever (00:40:01) goal it is, you have your (00:40:04) goal. So your mind is set on the goal. (00:40:09) Normally the five hindrances now simply (00:40:12) describe there are five mental states (00:40:16) that would actually make it difficult (00:40:19) for you to still keep your goal in the (00:40:21) mind whatever goal that is. So the (00:40:26) number (00:40:26) one for example is called sensual (00:40:30) desire. (00:40:31) Sensual desire means you are too (00:40:35) receptive for any type of pleasurable (00:40:39) feeling in regards to your five (00:40:43) senses. You're being too quickly attract (00:40:45) when you see something (00:40:48) beautiful. You're too quickly attract if (00:40:51) you smell something (00:40:52) tasty. You're too quickly distracted (00:40:55) when like you have like physical touch. (00:40:58) Yeah. So the first hindrance means you (00:41:01) you're losing the goal already because (00:41:04) in the moment something pleasurable is (00:41:06) being presented to you. Your your mind (00:41:09) has shifted (00:41:11) already. So that means that first mental (00:41:13) state only means look be aware of what (00:41:18) is it that you are very easily attracted (00:41:21) to. It doesn't say it's bad. It doesn't (00:41:24) say it's good. It just says in the (00:41:26) context of you want to reach your goal, (00:41:29) how to reach the goal the quickest, be (00:41:32) focused with your energy. Meaning be (00:41:34) focused with the mind. Don't lose the (00:41:37) goal from the mind. Whatever you do from (00:41:39) the moment of waking up until the (00:41:42) evening, whatever you do, keep the goal (00:41:44) in the mind. This is the quickest way of (00:41:47) making this goal become real. Number (00:41:51) two, simply said, you don't like (00:41:55) discomfort. You you don't like (00:41:57) challenges. You don't like (00:42:00) hardship. In that TEDex talk, I (00:42:02) described it like you're like walking (00:42:04) along the path and then suddenly it (00:42:06) starts to rain, but you don't like rain. (00:42:09) So instead of you just continue follow (00:42:12) the path, you are starting to make your (00:42:16) mind busy about what you don't like. (00:42:20) Yeah. And already that means the mind (00:42:22) starts to shift again losing the focus (00:42:25) of the goal. So this (00:42:28) idea num hindrance number one, hindrance (00:42:32) number two, actually you can easily say (00:42:34) it like (00:42:35) this. This is the goal. Two things not (00:42:39) to (00:42:40) do. Spend your time (00:42:43) enjoying. Don't do this. (00:42:46) Or spend your time (00:42:49) rejecting that things are not the way (00:42:52) how you imagine them to (00:42:54) be. Both of these things, one is you (00:42:57) follow pleasure and the other thing (00:42:59) you're rejecting any challenges. Both of (00:43:02) these things is something to be aware of (00:43:05) when it comes to stay focused along the (00:43:08) path. When we think about this first (00:43:10) hindrance of sensual desire, is this (00:43:13) where discipline comes into play? The (00:43:16) idea of discipline because that word is (00:43:17) often used, but it's often lacking a (00:43:20) clear definition, but also a clear (00:43:22) understanding of how one attains and (00:43:25) exhibits discipline. Because when I (00:43:27) think about the things that require me (00:43:28) to have discipline, it is these desires. (00:43:32) It is the five gates. It is something I (00:43:34) want to eat. It is maybe um some kind of (00:43:38) touch that I want to have etc etc. So is (00:43:40) this where discipline is important? (00:43:44) No. Even for example like in the book or (00:43:49) even now when we talk about we have the (00:43:52) five hindrances, we have the 14 virtues, (00:43:55) we have the eight rules, we have the (00:43:57) four here and the 13 here and the six. (00:44:03) Okay, it's a very good guideline because (00:44:07) it makes it easy for us humans to have (00:44:10) something like really structured. There (00:44:11) are there are four steps there are six (00:44:13) steps there are five steps (00:44:15) whatsoever what I want to say (00:44:18) is just in this way it's also that only (00:44:24) discipline wouldn't be helpful if in the (00:44:29) first place you do not possess the (00:44:32) ability (00:44:34) to see (00:44:36) it to realize it to be aware of (00:44:41) Meaning you have discipline but you are (00:44:44) never aware actually when is the moment (00:44:47) actually appearing right now that this (00:44:50) sensory desire is hitting in. You're not (00:44:54) aware of it. So the discipline wouldn't (00:44:56) help you if you don't have this (00:44:58) awareness. So always meaning I do think (00:45:01) that there are (00:45:03) different different qualities of the (00:45:07) mind that come into play for you (00:45:12) to to adjust yourself properly. I was (00:45:16) thinking about my friend when you (00:45:17) mentioned awareness there the friend I (00:45:19) described earlier who exhibits the same (00:45:22) pattern and although they might be aware (00:45:25) of the pattern they might say you know I (00:45:27) have this pattern I don't believe (00:45:29) they're aware (00:45:30) of the moment where that pattern begins (00:45:34) like this the singular trigger which (00:45:36) sends them in that in that loop so I was (00:45:38) and I was thinking the same about myself (00:45:40) I was like there's some behaviors that I (00:45:41) have that I don't like and although I'm (00:45:43) aware of them In the moment when it (00:45:46) happens, I might not be conscious that (00:45:49) it's the pattern has begun that the (00:45:52) someone has said something, something (00:45:53) has happened and then you go on that (00:45:55) pattern or you reach into the (00:45:56) refrigerator at 1:00 a.m. in the morning (00:45:58) and grab the thing or you end up being (00:46:01) triggered by something. So I wondered if (00:46:03) there's a practice at all to become (00:46:05) increase our awareness of the trigger (00:46:07) moment. (00:46:09) Yes. (00:46:11) This is for example where I very much (00:46:14) appreciate so many different teachings (00:46:17) that are meanwhile existing freely (00:46:19) available for example through the social (00:46:21) media including breath work including (00:46:24) yoga (00:46:25) practices all of them if you have a (00:46:28) proper (00:46:29) teacher I'm very sure that this is (00:46:32) exactly what is starting to raise your (00:46:35) awareness for something that in this (00:46:37) field when you are spending some time we (00:46:40) refer to as energy. If you're not aware (00:46:44) of your (00:46:45) own inner layer, let's say like (00:46:49) this, and somebody insults you, it can (00:46:52) happen that like somebody so somebody (00:46:55) insulted me and then I just started (00:46:57) exploding. Yeah. But the fact is before (00:47:00) something explodes, before I (00:47:03) explode, first of all, something must be (00:47:06) lit already. the the the small little (00:47:09) flame already must have been lit. So (00:47:13) when I already knew who is it that I'm (00:47:15) going to (00:47:16) meet maybe that already knowing hearing (00:47:19) the name from him already was (00:47:22) ah was already the starting point of a (00:47:26) potential explosion to happen. Yeah. So (00:47:29) then ah this was where when this little (00:47:31) flame already started being there and (00:47:33) then you literally can feel things like (00:47:36) this. You can feel when something is has (00:47:39) been injected, let's say, into you when (00:47:42) something starts to arise because when (00:47:44) the fire is already too big, when the (00:47:46) whole house is burning, you're not going (00:47:48) to you're not going to (00:47:50) [Music] (00:47:51) um put down that fire in any way. You (00:47:56) can only put down all of these fires (00:47:58) before things come too big. meaning we (00:48:01) must find a way to be directly grabbing (00:48:06) the root, grabbing the core or grabbing (00:48:09) the source of the (00:48:11) explosion. And the only way that I know (00:48:15) is you need to become more sensitive for (00:48:20) everything that goes on in your (00:48:24) body, in your surrounding, in (00:48:28) everything. This is where for me (00:48:30) awareness does play a (00:48:35) role and (00:48:38) yes and especially when it comes to (00:48:41) becoming aware of your emotional states. (00:48:45) This is absolutely inner work. This has (00:48:47) nothing to do with doing work out here. (00:48:49) It's inner work. (00:48:52) How does one begin the journey of doing (00:48:55) that inner work? (00:48:57) You give trust in the vision that when (00:49:00) you are investing your time right now to (00:49:03) become more aware (00:49:05) of yourself, of your emotional state, (00:49:08) then this is going to benefit your life. (00:49:10) That's the starting point. You believe (00:49:12) in it. You believe in it. So you don't (00:49:15) do it because somebody tells you you're (00:49:17) supposed to do it. You do it because you (00:49:19) genuinely believe this is the way. Yeah. (00:49:24) I want to know more about (00:49:26) myself. I want to really understand what (00:49:30) is it that I am made out (00:49:33) of. You want to figure out is there (00:49:37) something inside of myself. I tried to (00:49:41) look away for many years but I know it's (00:49:44) still there and was afraid to look at (00:49:47) it. All of these (00:49:48) things. There's only one way to make (00:49:51) yourself free. (00:49:53) You need to become (00:49:57) transparent. Yeah. If there are if there (00:50:00) are spots inside of ourself where (00:50:02) there's no light (00:50:05) yet, it can't (00:50:09) be. It can't (00:50:12) be. Bringing (00:50:14) light to everything that has been in the (00:50:18) dark. This is another area of the past. (00:50:23) which at some point everybody will (00:50:27) face. Yeah. And even though that is is (00:50:30) even though that this is not just like a (00:50:33) saying (00:50:35) but just the (00:50:39) idea whatever you're doing whatever (00:50:41) you're thinking whether people are (00:50:43) around you or you are (00:50:45) alone just imagine there is one who (00:50:49) always sees what you're doing. (00:50:53) So live your life based on that. (00:50:56) And that person is you (00:51:00) also. (00:51:02) Who else is it? It is the elevated (00:51:05) version of you. But it's true. It's you (00:51:08) and you. (00:51:10) Once I've shone a light on that area of (00:51:12) me, so I have greater awareness of its (00:51:15) existence and it's now transparent. (00:51:18) Is it a case then of what is the work I (00:51:22) then have to do to make a change in that (00:51:25) in that context? So, we're talking here (00:51:27) about managing one's emotions and (00:51:29) getting a grip of one's emotions so you (00:51:31) can avoid being triggered or (00:51:34) perpetrating the same patterns in your (00:51:36) life that have led you to the same (00:51:38) outcomes. First, you you believe that (00:51:41) it's possible to to change. You gain a (00:51:44) greater awareness of the parts of (00:51:47) yourself that you've kept in the dark (00:51:49) that you might want to change. And then (00:51:51) what does one do from there? Because I (00:51:54) came let's say from this martial art (00:51:58) field. Yes. Also meaning the Dao is (00:52:01) teaching or the principles of yin and (00:52:03) yang have always been the part in (00:52:07) there. Let me put it like this. (00:52:11) Whatever you are (00:52:13) thinking, saying or (00:52:19) doing (00:52:21) has a (00:52:23) consequence. So this consequence that (00:52:26) you have created or that you are (00:52:27) intending to (00:52:30) create, ask (00:52:32) yourself what is that consequence (00:52:35) actually? Does it make you yourself? (00:52:38) Does it make your being, your (00:52:41) interaction with (00:52:43) people, does it make it feel more (00:52:46) light, more pleasurable, more enjoying, (00:52:51) more (00:52:54) free, more (00:52:55) nourishing? Or is the result that you (00:52:58) are about to (00:52:59) create going in the other direction? (00:53:02) Meaning you're nourishing conflict. You (00:53:04) are nourishing aggression. Feeling like (00:53:07) you are carrying the suffering of the (00:53:09) world on your shoulder. Feeling like (00:53:11) there's a burden on you. Feeling like (00:53:14) there's a stone on your heart. Feeling (00:53:17) like you're being put under pressure. (00:53:18) See all of these expressions have (00:53:21) something to do with density. Have (00:53:23) something to do (00:53:25) with (00:53:26) pressure. Yeah. But then when we look at (00:53:29) no matter which tradition it is, (00:53:31) Buddhism, (00:53:33) enlightenment, (00:53:35) freedom, (00:53:37) liberation, elevation, no matter what it (00:53:41) is. You see, it is just two forces in (00:53:44) the (00:53:45) world. Two forces in the world. One (00:53:48) aiming for (00:53:50) limitlessness and the other one aiming (00:53:53) for restricting and very clear (00:53:56) boundaries. These are the two (00:53:59) forces. (00:54:00) So, and this is exactly now turning the (00:54:04) view upon (00:54:05) yourself. What are you made out of? Your (00:54:08) your patterns, the emotional states that (00:54:11) follow you within a (00:54:13) week. Within a week, looking back the (00:54:16) last week, what was the most dominating (00:54:19) emotion you felt inside yourself? Was it (00:54:24) one that had the character of limiting (00:54:26) yourself in a way or were you in an (00:54:28) emotional state like through the week it (00:54:31) was light it was liberated free (00:54:36) uplifting joyful which of these so and (00:54:40) this simply gives you exactly from what (00:54:43) to what do I think you need to transform (00:54:48) yourself if you want (00:54:50) this if you want this. (00:54:53) So, (00:54:56) and why do I think that this is the (00:55:00) goal? Lightness. Lightness. Let's just (00:55:04) imagine after this (00:55:06) conversation, your best friend or your (00:55:08) best girlfriend going to ask you, so how (00:55:10) was this (00:55:12) conversation? And even so that we are (00:55:14) maybe just talking 3 hours, four hours. (00:55:16) Even if you spend two days long (00:55:20) explaining to your best friend how this (00:55:22) conversation was, it's not the (00:55:26) truth. It is not the (00:55:31) truth. How is this conversation? How is (00:55:34) this conversation? Even right now, we (00:55:38) cannot even speak about (00:55:40) it. I tell you how this conversation (00:55:44) right now really is. Yes. (00:55:50) How you want to describe (00:55:53) this? You only you will be the only one (00:55:57) ever (00:55:58) knowing how this (00:56:01) is. It doesn't matter who's going to ask (00:56:03) you afterwards what you're going to tell (00:56:07) them. You want to feel it, you need to (00:56:10) experience it. There is no other way. (00:56:13) And this is the this is the nature of (00:56:16) words. This is why these these ancient (00:56:19) stories come. For example, one master (00:56:22) and his student walk up on the mountain (00:56:25) early in the morning. Then the sun rises (00:56:28) up and then the student says, "Oh, (00:56:30) master, what a beautiful sunrise." And (00:56:33) then like the master like slaps him and (00:56:35) never takes him to a walk uh anymore. (00:56:38) Then you say, "Why was the teacher so (00:56:41) hard to him? (00:56:43) Because in the moment where you give (00:56:46) something that you (00:56:47) experience a (00:56:49) word, you limit (00:56:52) its (00:56:54) nature. You you you naturally limit its (00:56:57) nature. So how does this now translate (00:57:01) into into what we can do with this (00:57:04) knowledge? (00:57:08) Whatever is being dense and it's (00:57:11) limiting I don't think it's the (00:57:16) way I think everything for us to (00:57:19) practice is look beyond (00:57:23) limitations look beyond the (00:57:27) words look beyond the shape practice to (00:57:31) look beyond the superficiality of (00:57:36) things because this is where the meaning (00:57:38) lies or this is (00:57:40) where part of (00:57:42) the part of the realization lies. (00:57:47) I think in my life I I want to be light, (00:57:51) but the way that my life tends to (00:57:53) operate is I might aspire for that, but (00:57:56) then I fall into almost a bit of an (00:57:59) autopilot and I run the same pattern (00:58:03) throughout the week and the same I (00:58:05) respond in the same ways to the same (00:58:07) external external stim stimulus. So (00:58:09) although might one might aspire to be (00:58:13) freer and to be less agitated or to be (00:58:17) you know all those things I quickly fall (00:58:20) back into my old path my old autopilot (00:58:23) because life does seem to come at me (00:58:25) pretty quickly. Um if I look at my (00:58:28) calendar it's just full every day. So, I (00:58:30) wake up and like I woke up this morning (00:58:32) and I'm like with one eye open looking (00:58:34) at my phone schedule to figure out like (00:58:37) what day it is and what that means and (00:58:39) what I have to do and what's just (00:58:40) happened and oh, the podcast has gone (00:58:42) out and I've got this email from this (00:58:43) person and there's my calendar or when (00:58:45) I'm late for by 20 minutes and although (00:58:48) I might have the day before said to (00:58:50) myself that this week we're going to be (00:58:52) joyful and light and free, it feels like (00:58:55) the week hits me like a truck and then (00:58:58) boom, autopilot. (00:59:00) So our goal is set in a way and now (00:59:03) comes the next realization. Just because (00:59:05) your goal is set doesn't mean this life (00:59:08) is going to give you exactly what you're (00:59:09) looking for. (00:59:13) meaning you really must make sure how (00:59:18) important is that goal really for (00:59:22) you because yeah I (00:59:25) uh I I witness it in my life as well. So (00:59:30) at some point I you know when it started (00:59:33) become a lot public you know the (00:59:35) calendar went full and at some point I (00:59:38) said to myself okay now it's becoming (00:59:40) too full let's start to let's start to (00:59:44) settle down a bit let's start to stay a (00:59:46) little bit more in the background. Yeah. (00:59:47) But then still like requests coming in (00:59:50) still and then you were think ah come (00:59:52) this one still. Yeah. But ultimately (00:59:55) it's really up to you how much do you (00:59:58) really want it and it is going to (01:00:02) continue like this until you will (01:00:04) ultimately come to the (01:00:07) point and it's going to come quickly I (01:00:09) do think (01:00:13) yeah where you realize for yourself that (01:00:18) that it's an (01:00:19) infinite that it's that it's an infinite (01:00:23) direction of possibible abilities. They (01:00:24) will never run out. But you will still (01:00:27) have to figure out what is it that you (01:00:29) really want from your (01:00:32) life. People will say, "Well, I want to (01:00:35) have a mansion and I would like to have (01:00:37) a private jet and I would like to have (01:00:39) a beautiful partner or I'd like to have (01:00:43) a (01:00:46) trophy." Valid. Absolutely (01:00:49) understandable as well. (01:00:52) But I do think that this (01:00:55) universe is going to let you realize (01:00:58) your lesson in the way how you need (01:01:03) it. Yeah. You're going to have your (01:01:05) mansion. You're going to have your (01:01:09) beautiful, beautiful wife. You're going (01:01:11) to have it all. There is something (01:01:13) that's going to put you back on (01:01:16) track. There is something that's going (01:01:18) to put you back on track. Telling you, (01:01:20) you need to readjust. (01:01:24) It is why why why (01:01:28) why it has always been like (01:01:32) this. We come with (01:01:34) nothing. We go with (01:01:38) nothing. What does it (01:01:41) mean? This universe is going to make (01:01:44) sure that you going to go with nothing. (01:01:47) Which means at some point before it's (01:01:50) time for you to go, you will be faced (01:01:53) with the fact of learning the necessity (01:01:57) of letting go of what you have attained (01:02:00) in this (01:02:02) lifetime. And if you have not learned (01:02:04) and have not understood that this is (01:02:07) going to (01:02:08) come, then I think it's a very very hard (01:02:11) awakening. It's a very painful (01:02:15) awakening to realize to have this (01:02:18) realization that you have spent 70 (01:02:21) years 80 years following your goal and (01:02:26) now there is no other choice. You have (01:02:29) to let (01:02:31) go. (01:02:34) So (01:02:36) yeah is not my (01:02:38) invention is just my observation. (01:02:42) And this is why in now maybe let's jump (01:02:45) a little bit there are literally in the (01:02:49) ancient traditions in the text of chan (01:02:52) Buddhism Zen Buddhism is very simply (01:02:55) said like this. How do you know that you (01:02:59) have practiced this past this tradition (01:03:02) in a in (01:03:03) a in a decent (01:03:06) manner? It is simply (01:03:08) by feeling inside yourself how easy, how (01:03:13) willing are you actually to let go of (01:03:15) what you (01:03:18) have. If you feel that you are mentally (01:03:20) attached to still things, still mentally (01:03:24) attached to (01:03:26) possession, you're far you're you're far (01:03:28) away from from the state of being what (01:03:32) this chan Buddhism, what this chan (01:03:35) teaching is uh wanting to like reveal to (01:03:39) you. (01:03:41) What it also means is if you have the (01:03:44) possibility of attaining everything that (01:03:47) you were speaking (01:03:49) about, you are absolutely happy to do (01:03:52) so. You are you can own (01:03:55) everything. It's never about promoting (01:03:59) to have this is not good. No, but to (01:04:02) have attachment at least in this type of (01:04:05) tradition will have consequence. (01:04:08) So it's not about what is it that you (01:04:10) possess. It's (01:04:12) about what of these possessions are (01:04:14) possessing (01:04:16) you. That's it. And therefore, is it (01:04:20) possible to possess things and to pursue (01:04:23) the possession of things while (01:04:26) also having a relationship with them (01:04:29) where they don't possess you? I.e. Can I (01:04:32) go in pursuit of getting a what's (01:04:35) something that one might want? A sports (01:04:39) car. And is it possible to then have the (01:04:41) sports car and pursue it without it (01:04:43) possessing me and therefore me avoiding (01:04:46) the consequences that come with that (01:04:48) unhealthy relationship to (01:04:51) possession. Cuz in your life there must (01:04:54) be things that you're pursuing and you (01:04:56) get those things. So your book sells a (01:04:58) million copies. your YouTube channel (01:05:00) does exceptionally well. You pursued (01:05:03) those things. Let's start with a sports (01:05:05) car. Okay. Um (01:05:08) it depends on the rest of the (01:05:09) circumstances. So, let me put it like (01:05:12) this. If the salary that you have, for (01:05:16) example, is just as much that you can (01:05:20) pay your rent. Nevertheless, you want to (01:05:22) have that sports car. Therefore, take a (01:05:25) loan, then buy the sports car. It's very (01:05:28) probable you're going to be very (01:05:30) attached to the car. Yeah. Simply (01:05:33) because out of the out of the situation (01:05:36) you bought it from. Yeah. You didn't buy (01:05:38) it from a from a position of abundance. (01:05:41) Yeah. So this is already not a good (01:05:44) starting point to afford something that (01:05:46) you actually cannot afford. So (01:05:49) differently it is (01:05:53) when you have the (01:05:55) possibilities and you just spend the (01:05:58) time and spend also the money on the (01:06:00) sports car and see it what it is and (01:06:03) realistically see it what how much time (01:06:06) you let's say spend with it. I do think (01:06:08) the excitement in the beginning is there (01:06:10) for a week, maybe a month, that's (01:06:13) already long, but it's fading. And at (01:06:17) some point, there will even be a day you (01:06:20) don't even see it cuz you're busy. Then (01:06:22) there will be a week when you see the (01:06:24) car once standing around somewhere. And (01:06:27) then there will be a months passing by (01:06:29) where you are traveling the world and (01:06:30) you're not even sure anymore when was it (01:06:32) the last time that you were riding it. (01:06:35) So, and these are things like when you (01:06:38) observe them and actually realize yeah (01:06:40) it's the truth. This is how the how the (01:06:43) development of things with possessions (01:06:45) is in the beginning it's always like you (01:06:47) want to have you want to have and then (01:06:49) they (01:06:50) fade. (01:06:52) go and diving into this type of (01:06:57) mentality of really (01:06:59) understanding wanting. Wanting is the (01:07:02) one part and then realizing how is life (01:07:05) really. Do you need it? Is it necessary? (01:07:09) Can you afford it is the second part. It (01:07:11) just opens another perspective and then (01:07:14) you just decide for (01:07:16) yourself. Yeah. But so whether something (01:07:19) is possessing you or you can possess (01:07:22) something without being attached to it (01:07:24) very much is linked to all of (01:07:27) this. From which position did you buy it (01:07:30) from? Did you attain it from? And then (01:07:33) the second thing is how much time do you (01:07:35) literally really spend with it? The (01:07:37) second of the five hindrances is ill (01:07:40) will. A negative emotion such as dislike (01:07:43) stops you from chasing a goal. (01:07:47) Can you give me some context on this (01:07:48) one? What do you mean by ill will? (01:07:54) Look, it's I make it super simple when (01:07:57) it comes to the five hindrances (01:07:59) literally is like (01:08:02) this. No, whatever whatever appears in (01:08:05) our (01:08:07) life. If I have my goal set right now, (01:08:10) what you are not supposed to do is to (01:08:13) witness (01:08:14) something. And now if you have like the (01:08:17) number one sensual desire, sensory (01:08:20) desire, what we tend to do is we like (01:08:23) start to pull things towards (01:08:26) us. Okay, that's number one. The second (01:08:29) thing, what not to do, this is what it (01:08:31) all belongs to that family of (01:08:33) non-judgment is like when ill will (01:08:37) something appears in your life. (01:08:39) Something you witness. Yeah. You meet a (01:08:41) person you don't want to meet. You get a (01:08:43) message, you don't want to read that (01:08:45) message. whatever it is and you try to (01:08:47) avoid it by doing actions in order to (01:08:50) push it away from you. So what it (01:08:52) ultimately means is don't do any of them (01:08:56) because whatever you try to hold on to (01:09:00) the nature of thing is that this is (01:09:02) happening swinging away. is going to (01:09:05) move away from you and whatever you try (01:09:07) to avoid and push away from you is just (01:09:10) a question of time (01:09:12) until it's going to move like pretty (01:09:16) close towards you. It's going to come (01:09:17) towards you. It's going to come towards (01:09:19) you. (01:09:20) Okay? So that (01:09:24) means also in the way of how it's (01:09:26) expressed, don't touch the (01:09:29) water. If you don't want to (01:09:31) have a life that is too (01:09:35) shaky, don't touch the (01:09:38) water because in the moment you touch, (01:09:41) your touch is the initiation for the (01:09:44) ripples to appear. (01:09:47) Same way you want to follow that goal. (01:09:50) You want to have it easy along that (01:09:52) goal. Don't touch any additional water (01:09:55) along your goal. Don't touch it because (01:09:58) you like something and don't touch it (01:10:00) because you dislike something because (01:10:03) when you walk towards the goal and you (01:10:05) do here and here and here, you you're (01:10:07) just going to ripple your whole (01:10:10) surroundings which ultimately means your (01:10:13) energy is being just drawn away from (01:10:15) your initial goal. That's how I would (01:10:17) say it is an ill will is one of these (01:10:21) expressions of you don't like something (01:10:23) and then you invest the energy there. (01:10:26) You like something and it draws your (01:10:27) energy back to there. And ill will is (01:10:30) similar in this category belonging to (01:10:34) this idea (01:10:35) of don't push, don't pull. as you've (01:10:40) become more popular and you've got (01:10:43) millions and millions of views across (01:10:44) the internet. Your TED talk, I think (01:10:46) from the link, one of the links that I (01:10:47) saw had some 20 million views and it (01:10:50) probably has tens of more millions of (01:10:51) views all over the internet. Um, there's (01:10:54) going to be more and more (01:10:56) people sending you messages, interacting (01:10:58) with you, (01:11:01) and saying amazing things, saying not so (01:11:04) amazing things. We experienced this (01:11:05) obviously as a podcaster. you just you (01:11:07) get you receive all kinds of feedback (01:11:08) from everybody. When you think about how (01:11:10) you manage that and you manage other (01:11:13) people's opinion of you does this tie (01:11:17) into ill will and I guess the ultimate (01:11:19) question is do you care what people (01:11:21) think about you? So there was a time I (01:11:24) cared a lot a lot a lot a lot very much (01:11:28) but within the last five six years I (01:11:31) really had my hard lessons being (01:11:33) perfectly honest. Number one thing I (01:11:35) need to learn is also to (01:11:40) really not take things too deep into (01:11:44) consideration especially from people (01:11:46) that I've never met in my life. Number (01:11:48) one that is the first area I needed to (01:11:51) learn which means all the everything (01:11:54) that's on social media everything that (01:11:56) is publicly available. This is one thing (01:12:00) why because what they judge or if they (01:12:03) judge or what they comment they can only (01:12:06) comment on the character that is (01:12:09) actually being available to them. So (01:12:12) which is ultimately what which is for (01:12:14) example also let's say that (01:12:17) person yeah named Shuhungi on that cover (01:12:22) always like having a good uniform in a (01:12:26) way representing something (01:12:28) yes but I'm simply not limited to only (01:12:33) this type of (01:12:35) representation and this is something (01:12:37) really really important in general now (01:12:40) to to bring out there to the (01:12:45) world. It is (01:12:47) not it is not good. It is not (01:12:53) helpful if this idea of putting people (01:12:59) on on how you call it on on higher (01:13:03) pedestal or or podest is not a good (01:13:06) idea. (01:13:08) The idea of raising somebody up to be (01:13:11) our guru, raising somebody up to be our (01:13:14) master, raising somebody up, oh yes, he (01:13:18) is the he is the special one. All of (01:13:21) these (01:13:23) things are doing exactly the opposite of (01:13:26) what I'm trying to bring into the world (01:13:29) of what I do believe is the key (01:13:32) especially in this times right now (01:13:36) worldwide. It is to become aware of the (01:13:39) real and the (01:13:42) fake. This is the this is the current (01:13:45) situation that we're in that the (01:13:48) threshold that the line between whether (01:13:50) something is real or whether something (01:13:52) is artificial or not real. It's becoming (01:13:56) so (01:13:59) incredibly slim that (01:14:01) line. This is why at the moment our (01:14:04) world seems seems so (01:14:07) fractioned. There are the ones which are (01:14:09) completely about let's go into the (01:14:11) nature and then there's the other (01:14:13) fraction which is all about going into (01:14:15) the technology into everything that's (01:14:18) available nowadays where ultimately (01:14:23) meaning at some point you will be able (01:14:25) to just spend your whole life in your (01:14:27) living room cuz everything you want to (01:14:28) see and want to partially experience you (01:14:32) just call it into your living room. It's (01:14:34) going to be possible at some point in (01:14:36) time. (01:14:39) So why how do we get to the point? Yeah, (01:14:43) exactly. Because of this, it's not good (01:14:45) if people raise you up and make you (01:14:49) unhuman. And this is what is being (01:14:52) attacked. So this is number one. That (01:14:55) takes a little bit the pressure off from (01:14:57) me to take it too seriously because I (01:15:01) just know they are seeing something but (01:15:05) it's a fraction of what I am. This (01:15:08) number (01:15:10) one second realization at the same time (01:15:16) was also not helpful or wasn't helpful (01:15:19) and or let's say was also a lesson for (01:15:22) me even the close people even the very (01:15:25) close people in my surrounding that (01:15:28) stayed with me for 8 n (01:15:30) years sometimes even such close people (01:15:33) don't know who you are can also happen (01:15:37) hurts double as much as people saying (01:15:40) something about you that don't know you. (01:15:43) Now you have people that you thought (01:15:45) know you and still they didn't get you. (01:15:47) Also very (01:15:49) painful. So ultimately leading only to (01:15:53) one thing. It only leads to one thing. (01:15:55) You would have right now the impression (01:15:56) of so what's the only way? Just go your (01:15:59) way regardless of what people think in a (01:16:02) way. Yes. (01:16:06) But have understanding for (01:16:10) them and and no ill will against them. (01:16:15) Have empathy for their lack of (01:16:17) understanding. (01:16:20) Yes, that is ultimately the only thing (01:16:22) that me as a as a result for the current (01:16:26) state of (01:16:28) being the that I took as my consequence. (01:16:34) Yes. So be careful, be very aware who (01:16:38) are you letting into your (01:16:39) circle and ultimately rely on yourself (01:16:43) and maintain (01:16:46) your sorry to say, but it's the (01:16:50) heart. Maintain the purity of your (01:16:54) intention. One of the things that I've (01:16:56) I've noticed in your work is that you (01:16:58) have this huge emphasis on being able to (01:17:00) focus oneself. And when I talked to you (01:17:03) about this brick, I think just before we (01:17:04) started recording, you said to me that (01:17:05) the average person on the street might (01:17:07) not be able to break it. But if someone (01:17:09) was really, really strong, they might be (01:17:10) able to break it. However, the key to (01:17:12) breaking this brick isn't strength (01:17:14) necessarily. It's the ability to really (01:17:16) really focus. And when we talked about (01:17:17) the five hindrances, they will sway us (01:17:19) from focus. They will distract us from (01:17:21) that ability to focus. So, you've (01:17:23) cultivated that ability to focus, which (01:17:25) culminates in you being able to smash (01:17:27) this brick with your hand. And it's not (01:17:30) necessarily a strength thing you're (01:17:31) saying. It is this connection between (01:17:33) mind and body focused at a particular (01:17:36) moment. Yes. So can you show me you (01:17:39) smashing this brick? Absolutely. (01:17:45) Do you do you put the the brick in the (01:17:47) in the middle of the blocks or do you (01:17:49) just put it there? Put it like this. Oh. (01:17:50) So okay. Okay. So chop it down on one (01:17:53) side. Okay. (01:17:55) Do you have another brick? Yes. There's (01:17:59) another one (01:18:00) here. You're going to pick your brick. (01:18:10) One is one is too easy. (01:18:27) [Applause] (01:18:31) hell. (01:18:34) [Applause] (01:18:36) [Laughter] (01:18:40) Damn. So, what were you doing then in (01:18:42) the in the leadup to that? Just have (01:18:44) your hands like here to the front. (01:18:48) If I touch you like this and only do (01:18:50) here. Yeah. M see this like I don't have (01:18:53) a good feeling for you. I don't have a (01:18:55) good feeling for your body. Yeah. (01:18:58) Because it's like it's superficial right (01:19:00) now. Mhm. What I do is like when I touch (01:19:05) you know so it's not this type of (01:19:08) touching you. When I touch you I (01:19:10) literally try to sense your body (01:19:14) structure. Yeah. I I feel like inside (01:19:17) you where is the tension? Where's the (01:19:20) relaxation inside the (01:19:22) body? So it's like we call it I'm (01:19:24) reading your (01:19:26) body. I'm reading your body. How is it (01:19:29) where is the energy locked? Where is it (01:19:31) dense? Where is it loose? So the same I (01:19:33) do with the (01:19:35) stone. But when I when I touch the (01:19:37) stone, I literally feel inside like (01:19:41) sounds funny, but I feel inside the (01:19:43) structure of the of the stone. I feel (01:19:46) the density of the stone in my (01:19:49) fingers and then I just see okay (01:19:52) [Music] (01:19:54) now. So I I I know how the energy is (01:19:57) going to come down. I know how the (01:19:59) energy is going to come down and then I (01:20:01) just like see how does it fit together. (01:20:04) So on the one side I feel the structure (01:20:06) of the stone. On the other side I know (01:20:08) what type of energy is going to come in. (01:20:11) Those two I combine and then I just boom (01:20:13) do it. (01:20:15) That's it. And how does that translate (01:20:17) to life generally? (01:20:20) Good question. Because we, you know, (01:20:22) it's not a problem I have day-to-day, (01:20:24) but that ability to understand the (01:20:26) energy of something and the structure of (01:20:29) something and then really understand be (01:20:31) able to cultivate your own focused (01:20:32) energy when you need it. (01:20:37) I do. So, do you need to have this (01:20:40) ability to live a proper life? I don't (01:20:42) think so. But somebody who is able to (01:20:46) break the stone like this definitely (01:20:49) possesses some type of skill set raises (01:20:52) the probability that you can do (01:20:54) something with that mindset in your (01:20:55) daily life. Which means already (01:20:59) um the only way to do this is you know (01:21:01) what consistency (01:21:03) means. You know what patience (01:21:06) means. Yeah. you also knows what like (01:21:09) endurance means or (01:21:11) like training means and all of these (01:21:15) character attributes that make it (01:21:17) possible to break the stone just also (01:21:19) builds the foundation I would say to (01:21:22) integrate this now into other areas of (01:21:25) life yeah so it's not about the breaking (01:21:27) of the stone but at the same time it's (01:21:30) also an expression of look the human (01:21:34) your body is capable of doing a lot of (01:21:37) things. Yeah. And this is just one of (01:21:39) them. There are so many extraordinary (01:21:42) abilities that people can do nowadays, (01:21:45) but all of them have one thing in (01:21:47) common. You have a vision and you find a (01:21:50) proper way how to nourish that vision (01:21:53) that the vision becomes (01:21:54) real. Similar like this. (01:21:59) So this is a consequence of (01:22:02) yes a long journey of several character (01:22:06) traits and attributes which you've (01:22:09) cultivated over a long period of time (01:22:10) and this is just a a symptom or a (01:22:13) consequence of those things. You know (01:22:15) that's that's exactly the thing similar (01:22:17) like you know when yeah when nowadays (01:22:19) you look at any type of competition (01:22:22) sports the event itself the competition (01:22:24) is being recorded that one minute (01:22:28) performance. (01:22:30) Yeah. Or that nine rings or that three (01:22:33) three minutes. Yeah. Yeah. But (01:22:36) everything that makes it possible for (01:22:38) them to perform in that one minute on (01:22:40) that show. Nobody sees what is lying in (01:22:44) front of there. Similar like this. Yeah. (01:22:46) It's it's it's with less than one second (01:22:50) the stone is broken. Yeah. But took like (01:22:53) a few years to be able to do that one (01:22:56) second. And how long would it take me to (01:23:00) learn how to do two bricks like you just (01:23:01) did then? How long do you think you (01:23:03) would have to spend training me? You're (01:23:06) looking at my hand. M because it's (01:23:08) important because it's literally not (01:23:10) only about um it's not just about the (01:23:13) focus of the mind. It literally is also (01:23:16) about building the density now (01:23:19) physically speaking the density of the (01:23:22) bone structure. So I I can just give you (01:23:24) if you like a a little (01:23:27) example. What we do is this part and (01:23:31) this part of the arm we just smash it (01:23:34) like this. Oh my gosh. This is like a So (01:23:36) like this. Okay. Okay. You just try like (01:23:41) one just go really. Oh my (01:23:45) god. Your yours is like a steel. (01:23:49) Yeah. And and this is what it is. (01:23:52) Yeah. So it is changing you if you want. (01:23:56) You can like touch. You can feel it's (01:23:58) Yeah. It's like steel. Mine's like um (01:24:03) polyyrene in comparison to that. But (01:24:06) well, yours just feels like steel. It (01:24:08) felt like I was hitting a a a bar or (01:24:10) something. Okay. So, you've got to build (01:24:12) up the strength. But still, to answer (01:24:14) the question, I do (01:24:16) think 3 months, but dedicated training. (01:24:20) Yeah. Mhm. And what would that training (01:24:21) look like? So right now as I explained (01:24:25) before this is why I also like in the (01:24:27) book I mentioned one of the grandmasters (01:24:29) that I also learn a lot of the methods (01:24:32) from this is now let's say it's a stone (01:24:35) yeah stone belonging to the family of (01:24:38) earth because okay earth now in a in (01:24:41) Asian tradition we have like the five (01:24:44) elements or the five transition phases (01:24:47) wood earth metal fire water like these (01:24:50) five elements So the proper training (01:24:54) starts with the so-called wood training. (01:24:58) Okay. So we are using a lot of wooden (01:25:00) material to actually condition our body. (01:25:03) Yeah. So you're not going to break (01:25:05) stones. You you break like first of all (01:25:07) wooden things. Mhm. After wood is no (01:25:10) problem for you. Then we go to the next (01:25:11) layer which is going to be stone. You (01:25:14) know this was this was this one for (01:25:15) example. After stone comes metal. And so (01:25:19) like this you we we go through all the (01:25:21) layers until your body has increased in (01:25:25) its abilities. You know the frequency of (01:25:28) wood, you know the frequency of stone, (01:25:31) you know the frequency and vibration of (01:25:33) metal. And this is how we increase our (01:25:36) ability to just uh be able to to to (01:25:39) actually maintain our strength in the (01:25:43) field of all five elements. You can (01:25:44) break metal (01:25:46) or you can hit metal. You can hit metal. (01:25:48) You can hit metal. Okay. You can hit (01:25:49) metal. Thank you. Fascinating. Thank (01:25:52) you. Thank you so much. Thank you. (01:25:54) You're welcome. Thank you. A business is (01:25:57) only as good as the people inside it. (01:25:58) So, how do you make sure you're hiring (01:26:00) the best? Our sponsor, LinkedIn, can (01:26:02) help you find these applicants quickly. 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That's (01:26:44) linkedin.com/doac and terms and (01:26:46) conditions apply. I was really thinking (01:26:49) a lot about these (01:26:50) um (01:26:53) virtues in Shaolon tradition. Virtues (01:26:56) are a guiding system in both martial (01:26:58) arts and daily life. The Shaolin warrior (01:27:00) practices thinking deliberately and (01:27:01) mindfully about the virtues of everyday (01:27:04) life for his or her life. And the there (01:27:07) are two categories of virtues. the (01:27:10) virtues to be expected and the virtues (01:27:12) to be (01:27:14) leared. What are these virtues that you (01:27:18) speak about in the Shaolon tradition? (01:27:22) Prior to somebody entering now let's say (01:27:25) into the temple and wants to learn from (01:27:28) there. First of all we also as teachers (01:27:32) want to find (01:27:35) out what does the character of that (01:27:38) personality already (01:27:40) possesses. Yeah. And these are for (01:27:43) example what we are looking for are (01:27:45) ultimately the virtues to be (01:27:49) expected. Virtues to be expected are for (01:27:52) example self-control. A certain amount (01:27:56) of (01:27:57) self-control, a certain amount of (01:28:00) discipline. So self-control, what does (01:28:02) that mean in this context? If I'm (01:28:04) self-controlled, what am I? You don't (01:28:07) let your emotions run over you. Okay? (01:28:09) You you you don't even if something (01:28:12) makes you angry but in this context it's (01:28:14) not honorable it's not respectful to now (01:28:17) shout out you shouldn't do it okay you (01:28:19) should like be able to maintain (01:28:23) your emotional states maintain your (01:28:26) temper let's say also at least to a (01:28:28) certain extent this is where I would say (01:28:31) it comes to self-control and the second (01:28:34) one you said was discipline so (01:28:36) discipline (01:28:38) meaning you have like I said even if (01:28:41) it's called the virtues to be expected (01:28:44) expected means they should be visible (01:28:47) somehow but not to the fullest extent to (01:28:49) to what's what people are capable of (01:28:52) okay discipline just meaning this (01:28:54) understanding that if you come to the (01:28:57) temple life you know it's going to be (01:29:00) difficult to wake up every day at the (01:29:02) same time and then start to do through (01:29:05) the go through the daily structure. So (01:29:08) it it needs some type of commitment. (01:29:10) Let's say it needs some type of I know (01:29:15) it's hard but I'm willing to do it. This (01:29:17) type of discipline. Yeah. This is also (01:29:21) in a in a way expected. And then uh (01:29:25) another one is simply to be benevolent (01:29:28) as well. (01:29:29) So that's kindness and compassion for (01:29:31) your brothers and sisters. Kind of it (01:29:33) goes. Yeah. The virtues sometimes swim (01:29:35) into each other. But this idea of why do (01:29:39) we have these virtues in the first (01:29:43) place and again it's like in Star (01:29:46) Wars the force what you're (01:29:49) learning the cultivation of (01:29:52) energy the skills that you are learning (01:29:55) they are these are very very powerful (01:29:57) things. Yeah. But what does what makes (01:30:01) the difference between somebody (01:30:02) possessing this power and using it for (01:30:04) the sake of humanity or somebody using (01:30:07) it for the um for the not betterment of (01:30:11) humanity. It's the (01:30:13) character. The power is the same. It's (01:30:16) the character. It's the carrier of the (01:30:18) power. It's the one who is in (01:30:21) in who's responsible to to hold this (01:30:24) power to maintain this power. That one (01:30:26) must be trained as well. And this is (01:30:29) where the virtues hit in. The virtues (01:30:31) are building the framework of the (01:30:34) character of the avatar ultimately that (01:30:37) is then receiving all different types (01:30:40) of training, skill training that we that (01:30:44) at least in the Shaolin tradition we (01:30:47) would say is good to know them. Same in (01:30:49) business really. I looked at a lot of (01:30:51) these virtues and I thought they're all (01:30:52) the kinds of things that we're looking (01:30:54) for in a good team member. So we've got (01:30:56) discipline, self-control, modesty, (01:30:58) benevolence, humility, respect, (01:31:01) righteousness, trust, loyalty, (01:31:02) willpower, perseverance, persistence, (01:31:05) courage, and (01:31:07) patience. So ultimately, like I said (01:31:10) before, in the Shaolin traditional text (01:31:14) is broken down into 14 different (01:31:17) virtues. Yeah. Four of them to be (01:31:19) expected. Another five virtues of (01:31:22) action. Another five virtues of the (01:31:25) mind. Just simply when you will later on (01:31:28) fly through it again. The virtues of (01:31:31) action. What does it mean virtues of (01:31:34) action? It is how should you behave? How (01:31:39) should you (01:31:40) behave? Behave in a loyal (01:31:44) way. Behave in a trustful way. Behave in (01:31:49) a respectful (01:31:51) way. Behave in a courageous way. Yeah. (01:31:56) So this is the how should you do (01:32:00) something and the virtues of mind. For (01:32:04) example, they (01:32:06) say what is it that nourishes the way (01:32:10) for you to put the virtues of action (01:32:14) into practice? How can you be? How can (01:32:18) you learn to behave respectfully? (01:32:20) Because naturally if people like (01:32:23) insulting you, you don't behave (01:32:26) respectfully towards (01:32:27) them. Yeah. So how can you still behave (01:32:32) respectfully, still be loyal to (01:32:36) people? How do you do it? Well, then (01:32:39) this is where where it then comes (01:32:41) to the virtues of the (01:32:45) mind to really learn to be (01:32:50) patient to really know what does it mean (01:32:53) to be (01:32:54) persistent to persevere during your (01:32:58) training. Yeah. And this is ultimately (01:33:00) how I would describe it to easily (01:33:02) understand. Do you believe in a god or (01:33:05) do you believe in a religion? (01:33:07) If if someone asked you which religion (01:33:09) do you follow what would your answer be? (01:33:12) I would call it the religion of (01:33:15) oneness. The religion of oneness. The (01:33:17) religion of I do believe that we are (01:33:21) connected at some (01:33:23) way and it is my journey. I don't want (01:33:27) to just intellectualize it. (01:33:33) I do think it is an it is a it the path (01:33:38) is to (01:33:40) lay out and remove all the friction and (01:33:42) all the obstacles to just realize that (01:33:45) it is like (01:33:47) this. Yeah, this is maybe also like an a (01:33:50) very essential point along along the (01:33:53) complete line whether somebody reads the (01:33:55) book or whether somebody watches all (01:33:58) these type of YouTube (01:34:05) channels. I myself always grew up in the (01:34:09) need to attain something to add (01:34:12) something up on top of my life. (01:34:15) This tradition, the whole tradition I'm (01:34:18) talking about is actually quite the (01:34:21) opposite. That's why in in the latest in (01:34:24) the latest videos or publications for (01:34:27) example, I often mention that actually (01:34:29) there is nothing I can give to anyone. (01:34:32) It's not that you miss something in your (01:34:34) life. (01:34:35) Yeah, remember you're not in a lack but (01:34:39) in the moment where it feels like we are (01:34:40) meeting and I give you something when (01:34:43) you even think that I'm giving you (01:34:45) something and you are about to receive (01:34:48) something that's not the right state of (01:34:50) mind already. I have nothing to give (01:34:53) you. The only thing that I really try to (01:34:56) do is take stuff away from you. (01:35:00) Take things away from you that are (01:35:03) covering that you see that you are (01:35:05) complete. What things tend to cover us (01:35:10) that need to be taken away? Everything (01:35:12) that builds up (01:35:15) identity. Everything that builds up a (01:35:18) stronger and stronger (01:35:21) identity. Everything that you keep from (01:35:23) the past in your mind. (01:35:27) The more that you keep the past in the (01:35:29) mind, the stronger your identity is. I (01:35:31) do think this is one correlation that (01:35:34) also goes hand in (01:35:37) hand. The more you keep past elements (01:35:39) inside your mind, the less likely you (01:35:42) will be able to break free into the (01:35:45) future and open up for the possibilities (01:35:49) that this lifetime might still have for (01:35:51) you. (01:35:52) Are you (01:35:55) happy? It's a difficult question. (01:36:01) I'm not searching for (01:36:03) happiness. I'm searching for peace. (01:36:07) So my state of what what I'm aiming for (01:36:10) I would say it is (01:36:14) peace because happiness for (01:36:16) me yeah taking by this word if there's (01:36:21) happiness there is sadness if something (01:36:24) can rise something must (01:36:27) fall if you can attain something there's (01:36:30) something to lose that's why it's (01:36:32) difficult that's why I I stopped the (01:36:34) moment I don't know what type of (01:36:36) happiness. You mean being satisfied with (01:36:40) where I am standing? Yes. Does it mean (01:36:43) that I don't have hard moments? I have (01:36:45) hard (01:36:46) moments. And that's why for me like what (01:36:49) is it I ultimately look for? I would (01:36:52) call it is just peace. Are you at peace? (01:36:56) More and more. Yes. More and more. This (01:36:58) one. Yes. More and more. What's in the (01:37:00) way of your peace? (01:37:04) I would call it karmic (01:37:07) relations, karmic (01:37:09) connections that you just think (01:37:13) like you cannot avoid them. You you (01:37:17) cannot avoid them anymore. What is (01:37:19) karmic (01:37:20) connections? Karmic connection (01:37:26) meaning because your mother gave birth (01:37:29) to you (01:37:31) automatically whatever your mother is (01:37:33) doing or not doing however the state of (01:37:37) health of your mother is is going to (01:37:38) affect (01:37:40) you in a way. So there are sometimes (01:37:43) people in this world you have a closer (01:37:47) karmic relation towards them. So what (01:37:49) they are doing is also going to affect (01:37:51) you. So and in my case it's the (01:37:56) same. Yeah. So meaning so literally real (01:37:59) life speaking. So my son Yes. He is a (01:38:03) very strong karmic relation. He's on the (01:38:06) one side my own flesh and blood together (01:38:09) with my beloved. But it also means the (01:38:12) way how my son feels it is affecting me. (01:38:15) And this is something that I still need (01:38:17) to regulate. Learn to (01:38:21) regulate which also sometimes means I (01:38:24) mean if you only sleep like 2 hours per (01:38:27) night then it is like this (01:38:30) but you have good training to still (01:38:33) maintain your peace afterwards. But it (01:38:35) is these are simple things. Yes. And (01:38:39) what is your practice in terms of your (01:38:42) routines? What do you do every day that (01:38:45) brings you back to yourself so that you (01:38:48) can regulate yourself? What is your from (01:38:50) the moment you wake up in the morning, (01:38:52) are there any routines that you try and (01:38:54) execute every day? (01:38:58) Number one (01:38:59) is one of the first things is really try (01:39:02) as often as you can to remind yourself (01:39:05) and put yourself in that proper state of (01:39:10) what you think you are. (01:39:13) I wake up and try to not already have (01:39:17) any type of thought from yesterday in my (01:39:19) mind. I try to wake up empty. Let's call (01:39:22) it like this. And meaning also try to at (01:39:27) all moments immerse myself as much as I (01:39:30) can in the present (01:39:32) moment. That's what it is. Yeah. Live in (01:39:35) the here and now. How you do this? To (01:39:38) live in the here and now. Stop jumping (01:39:41) into the past and stop jumping into the (01:39:43) future. Then you live in the here and (01:39:46) now. But you must practice (01:39:49) it. And literally meaning how you do it, (01:39:52) make yourself empty. Because the only (01:39:54) thing that fills your mind with past and (01:39:58) future is your (01:40:00) thoughts. The mind. (01:40:03) So if I watched you for the first hour (01:40:05) when you woke up in the morning, what (01:40:07) would I see on a on a typical day? (01:40:11) I wake up and sit on the sofa and and (01:40:14) and still just (01:40:18) sit. So just being awake and and just (01:40:22) breathe literally just realizing slowly (01:40:26) scanning my own body from the inside (01:40:28) going through the (01:40:31) body. So really making sure in a way (01:40:35) that everything that's going to come up (01:40:37) during this day is being perceived very (01:40:43) consciously. Yeah. By this. So it's like (01:40:45) I slowly build up my energies prepared. (01:40:48) This is how I would call it. It doesn't (01:40:50) look very special looking from the (01:40:52) outside. Unless I wake up and I (01:40:56) mean the sun is asking for something (01:41:00) then of course I have my duties to do. (01:41:02) But if I can really have my day after (01:41:05) waking up still the next hour is still I (01:41:08) spend alone. This is what I prefer to (01:41:11) do. And do you do exercise in the (01:41:13) morning? Yes. What do you do? Push-ups, (01:41:17) sit-ups and standing practice. What (01:41:19) standing practice? No. Partially it's (01:41:22) also some of them are like mentioned in (01:41:24) the book but literally it is what it (01:41:27) sounds like. I choose one position that (01:41:30) I'm standing in and then I hold that (01:41:32) position for 15 minutes. (01:41:36) Why? (01:41:38) So let's take all the spiritual part out (01:41:40) of this because there are some positions (01:41:43) that are looking (01:41:44) so (01:41:47) strange that at some point I also asked (01:41:50) myself how would somebody even invest (01:41:53) his (01:41:54) lifetime standing and putting yourself (01:41:56) through such a position. Well, there (01:42:00) must be a reason why in ancient (01:42:03) times it is kept as (01:42:06) a as a secret practice to stay like (01:42:09) this. And since I discovered it, I do (01:42:13) have to say that (01:42:16) um it's not this one. At some point, the (01:42:20) squatting monkey is (01:42:22) called this is a practice that builds up (01:42:25) what we call energy. (01:42:28) How do you build up energy? It is by (01:42:32) giving your mind something where you (01:42:34) need to have willpower to maintain (01:42:38) it. (01:42:40) Willpower and development of (01:42:43) energy go hand in hand with each other. (01:42:48) The will to (01:42:49) live, the will to keep going, the will, (01:42:54) the (01:42:55) will, strong will, iron will, energy is (01:42:59) also very high. And so literally some of (01:43:02) these positions are so demanding on the (01:43:05) body that in order to maintain this (01:43:08) position, you you have to have will. You (01:43:12) need to create something about yourself (01:43:15) where you are pushing (01:43:18) yourself and this is uh when when we (01:43:21) have time I show you the exercise. (01:43:25) Yes. And this is why I do it. (01:43:28) So how important is that for everybody's (01:43:30) life to do hard things do you think? (01:43:33) Because it's very easy not to do hard (01:43:34) things in the comfort world we live in. (01:43:37) when I mention it and then you directly (01:43:39) look up in a way to me or any (01:43:42) professionals who then do this type of (01:43:44) training. Of course, it's it's it's it's (01:43:46) it's beyond any normal person's (01:43:50) abilities. But it's not about you need (01:43:54) to learn and do the hard stuff like (01:43:58) this. But one thing is for (01:44:02) sure. This (01:44:04) lifetime living a life as a human (01:44:10) definitely is not (01:44:13) easy. Let's put it like (01:44:16) this. Living this lifetime is not easy. (01:44:21) The more wishes you have, the more (01:44:23) difficult it becomes. The more ambitious (01:44:25) you are, the more the more you will have (01:44:27) to face. So bottom line (01:44:30) is I do think that in the moment where (01:44:34) you just on a regular (01:44:36) basis put yourself (01:44:39) consciously and (01:44:41) willingly in different situations and (01:44:44) circumstances that actually represent a (01:44:47) little bit the structures of (01:44:49) life. There are moments in this lifetime (01:44:51) where you are going to be super tense, (01:44:54) super (01:44:55) tense. And then it's good to know (01:44:58) already how does it feel and what is it (01:45:00) that you can do well to learn and (01:45:03) release the tension. That's why (01:45:05) releasing tension is also a big part of (01:45:08) of the exercises. The one thing is (01:45:11) learning to release tension. The other (01:45:14) thing is like when you are too sloppy, (01:45:16) when you're too slacky, how to increase (01:45:19) your tension, how to increase the energy (01:45:22) level again for you to get into back (01:45:25) into structure again. (01:45:28) So there's always this balance and (01:45:31) ultimately how does it help people to (01:45:34) know the hard stuff? Well, because I do (01:45:38) think that it is symbolizing this way of (01:45:41) life. It is symbolizing the patterns of (01:45:44) what you are going to go through in this (01:45:48) lifetime. And so you're almost training (01:45:50) to do hard things because hard things (01:45:52) are an inevitability of the life we (01:45:55) live. (01:45:58) in this training that I went through. (01:46:00) Yeah, for for the moment maybe take all (01:46:03) the spiritual part out. Simply the kung (01:46:05) fu training, the Shaolin kung fu (01:46:08) training. There is a saying which is (01:46:11) Shaolin kung fu literally means walking (01:46:15) through the valley of (01:46:17) pain. So what does it mean? When you are (01:46:21) doing stretching, stretching, (01:46:23) stretching, stretching, it's going to be (01:46:25) painful. When you are doing strength (01:46:28) training is going to be painful. When (01:46:31) you do conditioning training, it's going (01:46:34) to be painful. (01:46:36) So the whole path on this martial art (01:46:40) journey, it is just filled with working (01:46:44) yourself up to the level of where it (01:46:46) feels (01:46:47) uncomfortable. Getting some consistency (01:46:50) into the practice until the point where (01:46:52) that uncomfortable feeling just started (01:46:56) disappearing. Why? Because somehow you (01:46:59) broke that initial comfort zone. So but (01:47:02) then it doesn't end. Now next (01:47:06) level until you're building up first of (01:47:10) all yeah whatever we're doing later on I (01:47:13) will show you some practices is not that (01:47:15) I do not feel pain I also feel pain (01:47:19) maybe I feel it (01:47:23) later but the essential part is that my (01:47:27) connection my relation between the pain (01:47:29) of the body towards what would it affect (01:47:32) in the way of how I take make decisions. (01:47:34) That is a different (01:47:38) one. I feel the pain but at the moment I (01:47:43) feel the pain but I see no necessity to (01:47:45) still change something about my way (01:47:47) right now. Why? Because I can take the (01:47:50) pain. Whereas when you are not used to (01:47:53) this pain, you feel it and then it tells (01:47:56) you let's say it's painful. The mind (01:47:59) okay is not good. And so you directly (01:48:01) change something. And this is and this (01:48:04) is just the difference. So it's not that (01:48:06) I became numb. No, I just feel there is (01:48:10) an additional layer that I can observe (01:48:13) about myself. It is (01:48:16) painful, but it's okay for right now. (01:48:19) And that's a a habit you've learned, I (01:48:21) guess, over time. That's a process (01:48:23) you've learned, which is you still have (01:48:24) the same stimulus, the same feeling, but (01:48:28) you tell yourself, you've learned to (01:48:29) tell yourself a different story about (01:48:31) that feeling or you've turned you (01:48:33) believe something differently about that (01:48:34) feeling. Many people would feel the pain (01:48:36) of I don't know starting a new career (01:48:39) journey, starting a business, whatever (01:48:41) might be painful and they would tell (01:48:43) themselves the story that that means (01:48:45) they are not good enough or they (01:48:46) shouldn't do it or that it's a threat (01:48:48) and they might stop. Whereas because (01:48:51) you've cultivated this new relationship (01:48:52) with pain, you're able to do these (01:48:54) things and tell yourself a better story. (01:48:57) I spent my (01:48:59) lifetime for for some part to really (01:49:01) wanting to build up my body and build up (01:49:04) the skills related to the field of (01:49:06) martial arts. So I want to build this (01:49:09) up. Other people want to build up their (01:49:11) business. I do think there is something (01:49:14) similar in the way of building up. When (01:49:18) I build up my body, how do I really (01:49:21) build up? How do I make my body grow? (01:49:25) It only works if I find (01:49:29) a continuous way of exposing my body to (01:49:35) situations outside of the comfort zone (01:49:37) of what I know. Elsewise, it wouldn't be (01:49:40) called growth. If I every day just do (01:49:43) something towards the body that the body (01:49:45) already knows how to do, there's nothing (01:49:48) growing. (01:49:49) So the idea of understanding where is (01:49:53) the comfort zone of my body then on a (01:49:56) regular basis very little must not be a (01:49:59) big jump but very little extending this (01:50:02) comfort zone until the body naturally (01:50:05) takes it as a habit in raising the bar (01:50:08) of where your comfort zone actually is. (01:50:10) Always a little bit. Always a little (01:50:12) bit. Always a little. But this only is (01:50:15) possible I think (01:50:18) by well what's called going over your (01:50:21) limits. But now comes the thing. You can (01:50:23) go over the limits by really (01:50:25) exaggerating and risking to be injured (01:50:29) or you make the idea of going going over (01:50:33) the limit (01:50:34) consciously aware carefully. still going (01:50:38) over the limit but in a in a still (01:50:41) controlled way. Let's say you know it's (01:50:44) the limit now but at the same time at (01:50:47) some point you also realize our bodies (01:50:50) our mind is so intelligent before the (01:50:53) when we are stretching at some point you (01:50:56) feel like everything's going to rip (01:50:57) apart but I know and this is why if we (01:51:01) would stretch even though you say ah it (01:51:03) hurts I know we can still go more yeah (01:51:08) you think but I just know yeah because (01:51:11) your body is so intelligent that before (01:51:14) something serious really happens, he (01:51:17) tells you way before that that be (01:51:21) careful. And this figuring out where (01:51:25) where is really this limit. This is that (01:51:29) this is what makes the difference. There (01:51:31) is a limit. Yes. But but this limit (01:51:34) still has (01:51:35) a has like a range of where we can still (01:51:38) move inside. Yes. And I do think that (01:51:42) this as a general line applies to (01:51:44) everything if you want to grow and step (01:51:47) by step by doing (01:51:49) so the comfort (01:51:52) zone (01:51:54) extends. So how is something new (01:51:57) supposed to enter into your life? Well, (01:52:00) there's only one way exactly the way (01:52:02) that many people are also afraid of (01:52:04) right (01:52:06) now. Go into the unknown. (01:52:10) But that's exactly what it is. If this (01:52:12) table is our comfort zone and you just (01:52:15) stay on here, you will never know how (01:52:17) beautiful London streets are. If you (01:52:20) just stay here, you need to go into the (01:52:23) unknown. You need to slowly walk your (01:52:26) find your way out here. (01:52:30) But that means (01:52:32) that going into the uncertainty is (01:52:36) nothing (01:52:38) bad for me. I'm really really happy (01:52:41) uncertainty is existing in this world (01:52:45) cuz I cannot imagine how boring it would (01:52:48) be if I would already know with (01:52:50) certainty where I'm going to be in 20 (01:52:53) years. (01:52:55) Is there something practical one can do (01:52:58) to get better at stepping outside of (01:53:00) their comfort zone? Because in our or (01:53:02) everyday lives, stepping outside of our (01:53:04) comfort zone might just mean putting our (01:53:06) hand up in a meeting or doing a public (01:53:09) talk or starting a Instagram page for (01:53:12) our cupcakes or it could be small (01:53:14) things. It could be learning how to run. (01:53:16) What's the first sort of small step one (01:53:18) should take to develop that habit of (01:53:20) being okay in the uncertainty of our (01:53:23) growth zone? Some people (01:53:27) say just start (01:53:30) reading. I do think that people who do (01:53:32) like reading this is something meaning (01:53:35) always look for something new to (01:53:37) learn. Always realize that the the (01:53:41) things able to still be discovered is (01:53:44) way bigger than what you think you know. (01:53:47) And that means exactly the way of how (01:53:50) you also describe it now. Exactly. The (01:53:53) last 20 times you stayed quiet the next (01:53:56) time you raise your (01:53:59) hand. Whatever it is, just don't stay in (01:54:04) the old patterns. Break the cycle. (01:54:08) This is where where I would say a great (01:54:11) potential lies in (01:54:14) the thing that holds us back is fear. (01:54:18) Yes. How how do we overcome that fear? (01:54:22) So am I fearless? (01:54:25) No. Do I fear a lot of things? No. (01:54:35) I do think there's only one thing that (01:54:37) ultimately makes you break free from (01:54:42) fear, which (01:54:46) is to find a (01:54:50) way and wake up from the (01:54:55) dream. You don't take things too (01:54:58) seriously in this lifetime. (01:55:04) to just change. Let's put like this (01:55:06) change your (01:55:09) perspective rationalize things if you (01:55:13) like it's similar like fear and worry. (01:55:20) Yes. (01:55:21) Oh, at least when I look at my worries I (01:55:26) had in the last months. (01:55:29) Well, for sure 80% 90% of all the (01:55:33) worries just didn't happen in the first (01:55:35) place. 10% might somehow came true. But (01:55:39) then again, I asked myself, good. So the (01:55:41) 10% that came true, even though I had (01:55:44) the worries, what could I do about it? (01:55:46) Coming to the (01:55:47) conclusion, (01:55:49) nothing. (01:55:51) Nothing, you know. And then something (01:55:54) just really started to to shift inside (01:55:58) of me where I (01:56:00) literally let go of (01:56:04) something. Let go of this (01:56:08) idea that that everything is (01:56:12) like is like onedirectional. That (01:56:15) everything that you're going to (01:56:16) encounter in this lifetime is going to (01:56:18) be beautiful. Everything in this (01:56:20) lifetime is going to be peaceful. (01:56:23) everybody you're going to meet along (01:56:25) your journey is going to be wellhearted (01:56:28) towards you. No, it's (01:56:32) not. Because in the moment where you (01:56:34) have well-hearted people, you have (01:56:36) illwilled people. And in the moment (01:56:39) where there is success, where you want (01:56:41) to be part of the success story, you're (01:56:44) going to be part of the failing story. (01:56:46) And in the moment where you want to be (01:56:48) part of the light story, you're going to (01:56:50) be part of the dark story. (01:56:52) This is how it (01:56:57) is. This is the world of what we call (01:56:59) it's the world of yin and yang. This is (01:57:02) the world of birth and (01:57:05) death, of (01:57:08) aging and sickness. (01:57:13) And this and this is why in the in the (01:57:15) ancient traditions more and more even (01:57:18) nowadays why why in the first place (01:57:20) there is this whole idea about (01:57:23) liberating yourself breaking free and (01:57:27) and and all of these (01:57:32) things for anybody that likes matcha for (01:57:34) anybody that likes lattes. One of my (01:57:36) companies has just launched canned (01:57:38) matcha lattes and I was speaking with (01:57:40) the founder Marissa and she said that (01:57:42) creating this product has been no easy (01:57:44) feat. They tried launching in 2021 but (01:57:47) as is often the case in business the (01:57:49) development process turned out to be (01:57:50) extremely complex. So they've spent the (01:57:52) last four years testing and refining (01:57:55) every single detail to create this which (01:57:57) is a perfect Ted matcha vanilla latte (01:58:00) and a perfect Ted matcha strawberry (01:58:03) latte. So, what we have here in these (01:58:04) cans is barista quality matcha straight (01:58:07) from the can. And it tastes like it's (01:58:09) just been made from your favorite cafe. (01:58:11) Naturally sweet and naturally creamy in (01:58:14) a can. And the reason why I've invested (01:58:15) in this company and I drink matcha is (01:58:17) because matcha as an energy source gives (01:58:19) me lasting energy without the big (01:58:20) crashes that I get from other products. (01:58:22) Grab their ready to drink canned matcha (01:58:24) lattes at Waitros, Tesco's, and Holland (01:58:26) and Barrett and perfected.com where you (01:58:28) can use code Steven40 for 40% off your (01:58:31) first order. (01:58:34) This one change has transformed how my (01:58:36) team and I move, train, and think about (01:58:38) our bodies. When Dr. Daniel Lieberman (01:58:40) came on the diio, he explained how (01:58:42) modern shoes with their cushioning and (01:58:44) support are making our feet weaker and (01:58:47) less capable of doing what nature (01:58:48) intended them to do. We've lost the (01:58:50) natural strength and mobility in our (01:58:52) feet, and this is leading to issues like (01:58:54) back pain and knee pain. I'd already (01:58:57) purchased a pair of Viva barefoot shoes. (01:58:59) So, I showed them to Daniel Lieberman (01:59:00) and he told me that they were exactly (01:59:02) the type of shoe that would help me (01:59:04) restore natural foot movement and (01:59:05) rebuild my strength, but I think it was (01:59:07) planticitis that I had where suddenly my (01:59:08) feet started hurting all the time. And (01:59:10) after that, I decided to start (01:59:11) strengthening my own foot by using the (01:59:13) Vivo Barefoots. And research from (01:59:14) Liverpool University has backed this up. (01:59:16) They've shown that wearing Vivo Barefoot (01:59:18) shoes for 6 months can increase foot (01:59:20) strength by up to 60%. (01:59:23) Visit (01:59:24) vivarefoot.com/doac and use code diary (01:59:27) 20 from my sponsor for 20% off. A strong (01:59:30) body starts with strong (01:59:33) feet. We were talking about the five (01:59:35) hindrances and the first of those was (01:59:37) the sensual desires which we talked (01:59:38) about and the second was ill will. The (01:59:40) third is dullness, lack of motivation to (01:59:42) move forward in life and the fourth is (01:59:44) restlessness, unable to focus on the (01:59:46) present moment and the fifth is (01:59:47) skeptical doubt, indecisiveness and not (01:59:50) trusting yourself. And to overcome the (01:59:52) five (01:59:53) hindrances, you recommend the four-step (01:59:56) rain method. What is the four-step rain (01:59:59) method? Yes, I do think it's called rain (02:00:03) method. That has also been taught to me (02:00:05) because it's easy to remember. What is (02:00:07) it that you're supposed to do? Like I (02:00:10) said, in this context of putting it (02:00:12) simple, you have set yourself a goal. (02:00:15) There are five mental states that could (02:00:17) make it difficult for you to reach that (02:00:20) goal. Those five mental states are these (02:00:23) five hindrances. Yes. Could you read (02:00:26) those out for me again? So sensory (02:00:28) desire, sensual desire here, ill will, (02:00:31) dullness, sloth topper or restlessness (02:00:34) and then ultimately uh indecisiveness or (02:00:38) self-doubt. Okay. (02:00:43) Now what does the rain method tell you? (02:00:46) Number one, it tells you with the R, (02:00:49) recognize. Recognize or (02:00:52) realize. So along your journey, every (02:00:55) day just sitting somewhere (02:00:57) contemplating, learn to realize in which (02:01:01) mental state are you actually finding (02:01:04) yourself right now. This is just the (02:01:06) recognition, the realization of where (02:01:08) you (02:01:10) are. The A stands for acknowledge or (02:01:14) acceptance. (02:01:16) So even you know the second one was (02:01:19) called ill will or actually it's called (02:01:21) aversion. So denying something pushing (02:01:23) something away from you very important (02:01:25) right now same here you recognize (02:01:28) something inside of you about you of (02:01:31) course second one accepting it (02:01:34) acknowledging it is (02:01:37) important. Yes. I meaning now (02:01:41) investigation. (02:01:43) investigation meaning okay I see I (02:01:49) am I see I'm dull I see I'm like like or (02:01:53) I see I'm (02:01:55) restless okay I accept that I have this (02:01:59) feeling right now investigation meaning (02:02:03) okay what is it like how did I get into (02:02:06) this state have I been there this (02:02:08) morning already in that state of being (02:02:11) no this morning I really felt (02:02:13) So what happened now since the morning (02:02:16) until now that put me in this state of (02:02:19) restlessness to who did I talk to? Was (02:02:21) it a message that I received? What is it (02:02:24) ultimately that led to this feeling of (02:02:27) restlessness? So really (02:02:30) investigating like like a detector (02:02:33) investigating. (02:02:34) So and ultimately then the n difficult (02:02:38) one but it is standing for (02:02:42) nonidentification. (02:02:46) So, and nonidentification (02:02:50) meaning I mentioned it (02:02:52) before even if you just use it as a (02:02:56) picture right now as a concept if you (02:02:58) want (02:03:00) but try not to identify your being too (02:03:05) much with your body and too much with (02:03:08) the mind. And if you don't identify with (02:03:11) the body and not identify yourself too (02:03:13) much with the mind also you do not (02:03:16) identify yourself too much with all the (02:03:19) things that you investigated that you (02:03:22) felt like were nourishing your (02:03:24) restlessness. (02:03:26) If you had one last message to (02:03:29) share and that message (02:03:33) was a message you had to share for your (02:03:36) son because one day the inevitability of (02:03:38) life means that you do have to have one (02:03:40) last conversation and we don't always (02:03:42) get to choose what that one last (02:03:43) conversation is but if you do get to (02:03:45) choose that last conversation with your (02:03:47) 3mony yearear-old son once he's able to (02:03:50) process it a little bit better say he (02:03:52) was 18 years old what would that message (02:03:55) Okay. Concepts are concepts. Theories (02:03:59) are theories. Be careful or be aware of (02:04:04) what you are keeping or what are you (02:04:06) nourishing in the (02:04:08) mind. Never restrict yourself to any (02:04:11) concept. Never restrict yourself to any (02:04:15) identity. Never restrict yourself to any (02:04:18) type of role. (02:04:24) What you (02:04:27) create you (02:04:29) create and you can create quite a lot of (02:04:34) things. (02:04:35) Yeah. Something along these lines (02:04:40) probably. I read that when you lost your (02:04:43) father that had quite a profound impact (02:04:45) on your life and (02:04:48) your I guess your way of understanding (02:04:50) the world. Your father passed away from (02:04:53) cancer when you were sort of roughly 28 (02:04:56) years old. It was roughly around (02:05:00) 2012. And this I read gave you a deeper (02:05:04) sense of (02:05:06) purpose. H how how did that impact you (02:05:10) as a man? (02:05:13) Yeah. See just imagine (02:05:15) like when I talked before about enduring (02:05:19) things going through my childhood (02:05:23) and always receiving let's say to to (02:05:26) never be enough but still I mean still I (02:05:30) had this internal fire going to still (02:05:32) always give my best but for the sake of (02:05:36) my (02:05:36) parents and so yeah from the age of four (02:05:40) elementary school give your best high (02:05:42) school give your best studying give your (02:05:45) best study again okay I do again so all (02:05:48) the time not because I necessarily (02:05:51) wanted all of this it's because for the (02:05:53) sake of my parents for the sake of they (02:05:56) are the ones who allowed me in the first (02:05:59) place to in a way be alive yeah also (02:06:02) thanks to them so this was in a way um (02:06:05) my expression of what they say as long (02:06:08) as they are alive I listen to them so (02:06:10) and then you know walking all the way up (02:06:13) to this this academic education then (02:06:17) finally graduating like (02:06:19) after 20 (02:06:23) years. Yeah. And then I just returned (02:06:26) from the graduation back to back to (02:06:30) Kaiser Slot and the city where I lived (02:06:32) and that was the last year uh I spent (02:06:34) with my father. Yeah. (02:06:36) So literally meaning (02:06:40) uh spending so many years in this (02:06:42) academic education for my (02:06:45) father and now he's not even there to (02:06:48) witness that it has been done for him. (02:06:52) Now, this was like a a point where I (02:06:54) thought (02:06:57) like (02:07:03) yeah, this was the one area that uh that (02:07:07) stuck somehow a little bit hard. And (02:07:10) then the next things yeah I call it (02:07:13) maybe small but it's not so small (02:07:16) apparently because um I grew up in let's (02:07:19) say this Asian tradition with let's say (02:07:22) different type of beliefs or rituals or (02:07:25) ceremonies that we do. One of these (02:07:28) things was that when my father was still (02:07:30) uh lying in hospital and it was clear (02:07:33) that it's just going to take a few days (02:07:36) until he would pass away. (02:07:38) He for example also said well he only (02:07:41) said it to me because you know I I would (02:07:43) be the only one who is able to do it. (02:07:46) Don't cry for (02:08:01) me because he couldn't say to my mother (02:08:04) she cannot handle it. (02:08:07) couldn't say to my (02:08:10) brother. Yeah. But (02:08:12) because I trust in the I trust in (02:08:17) the in the tradition the reason why not (02:08:21) to cry when my father pass away. Yes. (02:08:24) Because we do think the body is there. (02:08:26) The body passes away. The spirit sets (02:08:29) itself free. And when the spirit simply (02:08:32) realize that all the sons are there, the (02:08:34) family is there crying. The spirit in a (02:08:37) way is still bound to this realm, bound (02:08:40) to the earth's realm, let's say. And in (02:08:43) order to be able to help my father (02:08:46) actually to get on (02:08:48) a to move on quicker, to move on (02:08:52) quicker, that was the reason why it is (02:08:55) sometimes so important to don't show any (02:08:59) grief in the moment when a beloved one (02:09:01) like passes (02:09:04) away. Yeah. But all of these things. (02:09:08) Yeah. No, (02:09:11) like spending so many years for my (02:09:14) father, then he's not there to realize (02:09:16) it, then not being able to cry, and (02:09:20) then being in all this very very hard (02:09:23) field and always (02:09:26) like overachieving (02:09:30) and no problem working 16 hours a day. (02:09:33) Well, these are all the things that made (02:09:35) it possible to be where I am right (02:09:38) now. But at the same time, I just do (02:09:41) feel like especially in the moment now (02:09:43) when when my son started to come and all (02:09:46) of these things, um I just felt like (02:09:49) there's a lot blocked (02:09:54) there or there's a lot that still needs (02:09:57) to be released for the sake of my son. (02:10:04) And yeah, (02:10:14) what is it you needed and when did you (02:10:15) need it? I would call it (02:10:17) recognition. Being recognized by my (02:10:20) father at some (02:10:21) point to finally somehow say you you did (02:10:25) well is (02:10:27) enough. But it didn't come until today. (02:10:31) So I still keep (02:10:35) going. I never heard it from my (02:10:39) father. From my mother I also don't hear (02:10:43) it. Well maybe in a different way but I (02:10:47) do (02:10:48) think it is the father's (02:10:52) recognition that you probably aim for. (02:10:55) So these are absolutely things that do (02:10:58) shape my character for sure. (02:11:02) Many people will be able to relate in (02:11:04) their own ways and maybe their parents (02:11:07) have now passed on or are no longer with (02:11:09) us. So I'm wondering if there is a way (02:11:12) to hear it from (02:11:15) yourself. Yes, there (02:11:18) is. There (02:11:20) is. And again, this leads to the fact of (02:11:24) sometimes it's very very helpful to (02:11:26) really shut the world, shut the world (02:11:28) out of you and spend time with (02:11:31) yourself and actually create what you (02:11:34) think you were missing there. Create it (02:11:36) cuz you're the one who creates it. (02:11:38) That's exactly what I do (02:11:41) think (02:11:43) that when you we were speaking about it (02:11:45) right now of course we could say that (02:11:48) what is it that I was looking for from (02:11:50) my father fact is is not I'm not going (02:11:52) to hear it from him anymore so I need to (02:11:55) hear it of course by (02:11:57) myself and this is where it comes to all (02:11:59) these type of practices and methods that (02:12:02) many specialists now they also like (02:12:04) emphasizing regardless of how you call (02:12:07) them. (02:12:08) Yeah. And what are those sentences in (02:12:11) particular that if (02:12:12) I if I was your (02:12:16) father you would want me to say to you (02:12:19) right (02:12:21) now? Well, something (02:12:24) like you did well. You did (02:12:29) enough. I see what you are (02:12:32) doing. But now take your energy back. (02:12:38) and give it to your (02:12:40) son. Give him everything that you feel (02:12:43) you didn't receive from (02:12:48) me. And if you heard those words from (02:12:51) him, how do you think he would change? (02:12:55) I do think there will be (02:12:57) change and I do think there is already (02:13:01) change. Yeah. And this is maybe like the (02:13:04) part where like specialists now they (02:13:06) would say it's not necessarily an area (02:13:09) of the conscious mind. I do think that (02:13:11) these are talks right now more dealing (02:13:13) with (02:13:14) subconsciously is stored inside our our (02:13:18) let's say in our mind. I think this is (02:13:21) where it plays a role. No especially (02:13:24) when it's about patterns that come up. (02:13:27) It's not consciously when you're (02:13:29) conscious enough you can regulate (02:13:30) already a lot. It's the subconscious (02:13:32) things that you are not aware of that (02:13:35) are still a part of your life. And if (02:13:38) you wouldn't have cuh asked about my (02:13:42) father, I wouldn't even think about him (02:13:45) for one month is all not a problem. (02:13:48) Yeah. But I do still think that these (02:13:50) are like very very deep layers that just (02:13:52) translate a (02:13:54) lot unconsciously into the way of of (02:13:58) doing things in way of how I see things (02:14:00) also and this is where I feel like it (02:14:03) probably would help. Have you grieved (02:14:06) his passing? (02:14:09) Yes. (02:14:12) Yes. I do think at at some extent when (02:14:16) the when the 49 days that's the period (02:14:19) of where it's normally said don't grief (02:14:21) at that time 49 (02:14:23) days afterwards I did (02:14:29) yes but probably there's (02:14:32) still a lot more to (02:14:37) release. you've written this wonderful (02:14:40) book which describes the way to (02:14:43) selfmastery and it's um it's a really (02:14:47) transformative book that I highly (02:14:48) recommend everybody checks out. I'm (02:14:49) going to link it below. When we talk (02:14:51) about (02:14:53) selfmastery, what is it you mean? What (02:14:56) is it to master (02:14:58) oneself? So, growing up like I said in (02:15:02) this field of martial arts, I met a lot (02:15:05) of masters. I lot met a lot of (02:15:08) grandmasters. I always went looking for (02:15:11) other instructors, looking for somebody (02:15:14) outside of myself to be a mentor, to be (02:15:18) a guide for (02:15:19) me. But at some point, always (02:15:25) realizing that everybody, no matter who (02:15:28) it was, they possessed some type of (02:15:31) skill that I wanted to learn from them. (02:15:35) But there was one thing that in a (02:15:37) way none of them in a way could help me (02:15:41) with and that (02:15:43) was how do I run my my own life. I can (02:15:48) learn skills from you. I can learn (02:15:49) skills from here. I can improve in this (02:15:51) area in this area. But putting all these (02:15:54) skills, putting all these knowledge, (02:15:57) putting all the advice, putting it into (02:16:00) a structure, into a frame, and then to (02:16:04) run my own life with it. There's only (02:16:07) one person who can do (02:16:09) this, (02:16:10) yourself. So, and this is where I meant (02:16:14) that don't rely on a master for him to (02:16:19) run your life. Don't rely on a mentor, a (02:16:22) guide, whatever to run your (02:16:25) life. This whole journey is about you (02:16:28) learn and acquire the skills and acquire (02:16:31) the knowledge and acquire whatever you (02:16:34) think is (02:16:36) necessary to bring out the best version. (02:16:40) Let's call it like this. the best (02:16:41) version, the best (02:16:44) refined potential about about yourself, (02:16:48) about what you believe you are capable (02:16:50) of bringing out about (02:16:53) yourself. Meaning the master is already (02:16:57) sitting inside of each (02:16:59) individual. It's just that we don't (02:17:01) nourish that master inside of us enough. (02:17:06) And who in particular at this moment in (02:17:09) time do you believe would benefit most (02:17:12) from the message inside the covers of (02:17:14) this book? (02:17:16) The more you feel like that your (02:17:20) [Music] (02:17:22) um that that your well-being about (02:17:26) yourself is being dependent on any third (02:17:32) parties anything outsourced. So if the (02:17:35) government you feel like if any decision (02:17:37) from the government affects you, read (02:17:40) the book. If like your colleagues at (02:17:43) work affect you by what they say and (02:17:46) what they (02:17:47) think, that's also something. Every time (02:17:50) when you have the feeling your (02:17:52) well-being is dependent on something (02:17:55) that you feel you have no influence (02:17:58) in because this is exactly this is the (02:18:01) antidote. This book is literally telling (02:18:07) you don't outsource your well-being to (02:18:10) anything that you (02:18:13) cannot influence or (02:18:17) control. Which literally (02:18:19) means place the (02:18:22) emphasis and the foundation of your (02:18:25) well-being only on things that you have (02:18:29) influence on. And which one is that? (02:18:33) your body and your mind. Of all the (02:18:37) things we've discussed today, is there (02:18:40) anything anything at all that you (02:18:43) think is the most important thing that (02:18:45) we missed for the for the person that's (02:18:48) sat there at home and I'll give you a (02:18:50) persona of the person. They are they're (02:18:52) feeling a little bit lost in their life. (02:18:54) They're feeling like they could do more. (02:18:55) They're maybe lacking in purpose and (02:18:57) meaning in their life a little bit. um (02:18:59) they're struggling in various areas with (02:19:01) their relationships, maybe a little bit (02:19:02) with work, and they're feeling the the (02:19:05) normal pressures of life that we all we (02:19:07) all feel. Is there anything for that (02:19:08) person that's listening now and that's (02:19:10) gotten this far in the conversation that (02:19:12) you might say in their ear right now? (02:19:17) It's sometimes really nice to see the (02:19:20) why I (02:19:22) to see the full (02:19:25) picture. The full picture of me is I (02:19:28) didn't start like being on the cover of (02:19:30) the book. I didn't start like having all (02:19:32) the abilities and skills that I have (02:19:35) nowadays. I didn't start with all the (02:19:37) social media channels as they are right (02:19:39) now. I started actually in the poorest (02:19:42) area of that city in Kaiser Slouten that (02:19:46) until today is known to be like the area (02:19:48) where people do not like to go. This is (02:19:50) where I come out (02:19:52) from. So was my life always easy? Well, (02:19:56) I don't think so. (02:19:59) But there are just a few fundamental (02:20:03) things (02:20:04) that meanwhile after like 40 years (02:20:08) meeting people, talking with people, (02:20:11) looking into the world, being able to (02:20:13) actually see some type of structures in (02:20:15) the world, I do believe that what you (02:20:19) might call successful people or people (02:20:22) that somehow made it in whatever way you (02:20:25) think is made it, I do think they have (02:20:28) something in common there is something (02:20:30) in common amongst them. Okay. So and one (02:20:34) thing that I would definitely say (02:20:38) is to really be able to (02:20:41) endure is one (02:20:44) area really having that persistence even (02:20:47) so okay today is not working everything (02:20:50) goes wrong. Yeah. (02:20:52) like not like cutting it off like (02:20:54) suddenly but this type of persistence (02:20:57) and consistency like just knowing and (02:21:01) trusting. Okay, let's do it (02:21:04) again. So literally trial and (02:21:07) error, hard times, good (02:21:10) times to just understand that this life (02:21:15) is like this up and down. There is a up (02:21:18) and down. The one the success doesn't (02:21:21) come without the failure. The brightness (02:21:24) right now that is being seen from (02:21:26) people. Yeah. But there's another side (02:21:28) that that built the foundation for (02:21:31) people nowadays to to (02:21:33) shine. Yeah. And just to understand a (02:21:36) lot of things is possible but it's never (02:21:41) onedirectional. Yeah. (02:21:43) And now to put things really literally (02:21:46) into practice, one of the easiest (02:21:48) things, how do I know what should be the (02:21:51) next? What should I do tomorrow? What (02:21:53) should I do tomorrow? (02:21:57) Okay, look at yourself and ask yourself (02:22:00) what is the most disturbing whatever it (02:22:03) is from the last week in your (02:22:06) life. What is disturbing you about your (02:22:09) life the most from the last week? (02:22:14) You can even extend it to what is it (02:22:16) which emotional state is it that (02:22:19) followed you primarily in the last one (02:22:23) month. (02:22:24) So and then maybe investigating again (02:22:28) okay what is it that brings up that (02:22:30) emotion that state inside of you? What (02:22:33) is is it somebody who triggers it? Is it (02:22:36) something that triggers it? So really (02:22:39) boil it down to the point that you (02:22:41) actually (02:22:43) see this is what blocks me right now in (02:22:47) my life. This is literally what blocks (02:22:49) me in my life. I want to move into the (02:22:52) future, but this here it follows me. It (02:22:55) blocks me. It takes my energy. It's this (02:22:58) one. I can literally see it. No, that is (02:23:00) the one. Now invest all of the energy to (02:23:03) figure out the solution for this (02:23:06) one. Because if you took care of this (02:23:10) already the last half year, the chances (02:23:12) are very very high. You're going to have (02:23:14) it the next half year, which means (02:23:16) you're going to have it already for one (02:23:17) year. And if you do nothing about it, (02:23:20) it's going to be two years. And it's (02:23:22) going to be three years. And in three (02:23:23) years, you still sit there and complain (02:23:26) that you were not able to move on. Yes. (02:23:30) because it's the same pattern and it is (02:23:33) the same (02:23:35) hindrance still in the life and this is (02:23:38) for example how I know what is my next (02:23:42) area of (02:23:44) um of (02:23:46) development the one that let's say (02:23:49) shakes me the most at the moment if I (02:23:52) think about literally I think about is (02:23:54) it something in the business area that (02:23:56) shakes me no is it something in the (02:23:58) family area that shakes me No, is it (02:24:00) something in the in the relationship (02:24:02) area that and like this you find out (02:24:04) okay that is the next one let's tackle (02:24:07) it and and so and we will always find (02:24:11) something that in a way like we would (02:24:13) say we could (02:24:15) optimize and I do believe that in the (02:24:18) moment where you say (02:24:20) no I have (02:24:23) arrived I think then there's really (02:24:25) nothing to be (02:24:26) done then just to be Sweet. (02:24:32) We have a closing tradition on this (02:24:34) podcast where the last guest leaves a (02:24:35) question for the next guest, not knowing (02:24:37) who they're going to be leaving the (02:24:38) question (02:24:40) for. And the question that has been left (02:24:42) for you is, (02:24:46) uh, what is your greatest regret? (02:25:01) I would say that 40 years (02:25:10) long, whatever I said and whatever (02:25:12) decision I took in the last 40 (02:25:15) years, I could always stand behind (02:25:18) it. Yeah. I I pushed decisions through (02:25:23) and I gave I gave commence to to do it (02:25:27) the way that I wanted (02:25:30) because behind it my mind was always (02:25:34) supporting all of (02:25:36) this. Just in the recent months I had to (02:25:39) take a (02:25:41) decision. I would have wished to have a (02:25:43) little bit more time to make it to make (02:25:45) the transition more pleasant but I (02:25:47) couldn't. I had no choice. (02:25:50) And so despite of not feeling that it is (02:25:52) the right way to do it, I still had to (02:25:55) do it. And this is what I regret. It's (02:25:58) like firing someone, letting someone go (02:26:00) kind of like this. Yes. (02:26:03) Thank you. Thank you so much for the (02:26:06) message you're putting out into the (02:26:07) world because it's a increasingly (02:26:09) necessary message because we're I think (02:26:11) we're all searching for answers and for (02:26:13) a variety of different reasons. Um, and (02:26:16) your message as I read it throughout the (02:26:18) book, the the striking thing about it is (02:26:20) it's a simple one, but that doesn't mean (02:26:23) it's an easy one, but it's a very, very (02:26:25) necessary one. And for anyone that does (02:26:27) relate to the things we've described to (02:26:29) today and the situations we've described (02:26:31) that people are feeling at the moment, (02:26:33) I'd highly recommend you give this book (02:26:34) a try. Um, because it is a completely (02:26:37) different message. So, thank you for (02:26:39) writing such an incredible book and (02:26:40) thank you for the wisdom that you've put (02:26:41) out into the world. I highly recommend (02:26:43) everybody goes and checks out your (02:26:44) YouTube channel um because there's much (02:26:46) more content there and you're you're a (02:26:47) real star on YouTube. Your TED talk is a (02:26:50) smash hit sensation that has changed (02:26:51) millions of people's lives as well. So, (02:26:53) thank you again for your time today. (02:26:54) It's been a huge honor. Thank you, (02:26:56) Stephen, for the invitation. Appreciate (02:26:58) it having this conversation. Thank you (02:27:00) so much. (02:27:02) I'm going to let you into a little bit (02:27:04) of a secret. You're probably going to (02:27:05) think me and my team are a little bit (02:27:06) weird, but I can still remember to this (02:27:08) day when Jamaima from my team posted on (02:27:10) Slack that she'd changed the scent in (02:27:12) this studio. And right after she posted (02:27:14) it, the entire office clapped in our (02:27:16) Slack channel. And this might sound (02:27:17) crazy, but at the Diary of SEO, this is (02:27:19) the type of 1% improvement we make on (02:27:21) our show. And that is why the show is (02:27:23) the way it is. By understanding the (02:27:25) power of compounding 1%s, you can (02:27:28) absolutely change your outcomes in your (02:27:30) life. It isn't about drastic (02:27:31) transformations or quick wins. It's (02:27:34) about the small consistent actions that (02:27:37) have a lasting change in your outcomes. (02:27:39) So two years ago we started the process (02:27:41) of creating this beautiful diary and (02:27:43) it's truly beautiful. Inside there's (02:27:44) lots of pictures, lots of inspiration (02:27:46) and motivation as well, some interactive (02:27:49) elements and the purpose of this diary (02:27:50) is to help you identify, stay focused (02:27:53) on, develop consistency with the 1%s (02:27:56) that will ultimately change your life. (02:27:58) So, if you want one for yourself or for (02:28:00) a friend or for a colleague or for your (02:28:01) team, then head to the diary.com right (02:28:04) now. I'll link it below. This has always (02:28:06) blown my mind a little bit. 53% of you (02:28:09) that listen to this show regularly (02:28:11) haven't yet subscribed to the show. So, (02:28:13) could I ask you for a favor? If you like (02:28:14) the show and you like what we do here (02:28:15) and you want to support us, the free (02:28:17) simple way that you can do just that is (02:28:19) by hitting the subscribe button. And my (02:28:20) commitment to you is if you do that, (02:28:22) then I'll do everything in my power, me (02:28:24) and my team, to make sure that this show (02:28:25) is better for you every single week. (02:28:27) We'll listen to your feedback. We'll (02:28:29) find the guest that you want me to speak (02:28:30) to and we'll continue to do what we do. (02:28:32) Thank you so much. (02:28:35) [Music] (02:28:54) [Music]